Even in the darkness of our bedroom with the lights off, Luna recognised me immediately.

  Her silhouette stopped near the door, outlined by the light streaming in from the hall, and even though I couldn’t see her expression, she still radiated concern, shoulders hunching as she leaned forwards instinctually, wanting to come to my aid. “Sarah? Are you okay?”

  Despite all of my thinking, I hardly had a pn. The two of us had always danced around the question of who Sarah was, and while it was clear that she knew more than she was letting on, I didn’t know exactly what she knew or what she thought about the situation.

  “Um, I–” I stammered, “I’m fine – not like fine fine, but like not-an-emergency fine…”

  She sighed, walking to the corner to set her purse down on the desk, and came over to sit down on the edge of the bed. “Alright, spill – I’m all ears.” Her head turned towards my ears, causing them to twitch, and I had to stifle the urge to let out an inappropriate giggle.

  “So I did something stupid and drove away the woman I was going on dates with – that’s the short version.”

  “Okay, okay, “ she said, although I couldn’t be sure if she was reassuring me or herself. “Why don’t you tell me a bit about her and the situation, if that’s not too much for you.”

  I hesitated, but ultimately gave in, curling in on myself a bit tighter to hide from her reactions. “So I met Melody at this department store while I was clothes shopping – she works there – and while she was checking me out…” I stopped, considering my words when Luna stifled a ugh above me, “Wait not like that – she was ringing me up, and I started flirting with her and we ended up going on a date Saturday and it went really well.”

  I sighed, preparing myself for the next part. “And I invited her over today and she was… surprised about the fact that the lesbian roommate I’d mentioned shared my bed. I was being stubborn about telling her about…” I trailed off, leaving that part unsaid. “And so she got mad and left.”

  “Sarah, what was it that you didn’t want to tell her?” Luna asked gently.

  I drew in a sharp breath and held it, drawing the silence out as if I could choose to back down now, as if I’d be saying anything that hadn’t already been said indirectly.

  Luna remained patient, sitting still while I watched her through the gaps in my tangled limbs and my furry tail, wishing she would give me a reassuring touch.

  “I didn’t want to tell her about my shapeshifting,” I admitted.

  Luna breathed out a long sigh, her posture sagging slightly as relief flooded her body. I pouted from behind my cover – it was almost like she expected me to keep dancing around it forever…

  “Sarah, I’m sure if she was okay with these,” she brushed her hand over the tips of my ears, “then she would be okay with you having magic powers.”

  She paused for a moment, considering, while I stifled the pleasant shiver that threatened to bubble up at her touch. “Or that you’re trans – if she wouldn’t accept that, then she’s not worth it.”

  “I’m not–” I started protesting, stopping when Luna’s head darted to face me, some kind of intense stare on her face hidden by the darkness.

  “I’m not ready for bels yet,” I said. It wasn’t exactly what I’d been saying the first time, but it held the same sentiment. “Can we just… not talk about what all this means for a bit? I… I need some time to get my head around things and sort through what’s real and what I made up.”

  Luna sighed again. “Alright, but remember that I’m here if you need to talk – and if I think you’re torturing yourself for no reason, then I’m going to stage an intervention,” she threatened.

  I sighed back. “I don’t think you have to worry about that… Let’s just say you’ll probably be seeing a lot more of Sarah.”

  Too te, I realised the alternative implication of what I’d said, but thankfully Luna didn’t notice, or at least didn’t comment on it.

  She moved on easily, despite the number of burning questions she must’ve had. “So leftovers tonight? Or should I order takeout?”

  “I’m not super hungry right now – I can eat leftovers ter. I think I’m gonna take a nap, but I wanna move to the couch…”

  Luna giggled, standing up and looking down at me. “Or are you going to shapeshift and steal Snuffles’ bed?”

  I grumbled wordlessly at her, uncurling and stretching out my tense muscles before dragging myself out of bed. I shooed her out of the room so I could put on some pyjamas – old oversized clothes of mine – and clean up my appearance, wiping off my dried tears and fixing my bedhead.

  I hardly registered the walk over to the couch, squinting against the bright lights, but I ended up curled up there all the same, scooting over so that my limbs were barely brushing Luna’s body as she sat next to me and ate. It wasn’t an embrace by even the most desperate definition, but given that I felt relentlessly touch-starved in this form, it seemed lovingly intimate.

  —

  I woke up sore, disoriented and hungry, groaning as I uncurled on the couch and lifted my head to search the room. Two thin bnkets covered my body – something Luna must’ve done – and for a second I looked forward to joining her in bed for a bit, maybe getting up with her to cook breakfast while she showered, but it all crumbled when I realised it was already te into the morning.

  I let out a disappointed whine as I got up, wishing I’d at least gotten to hug Luna like the st time I’d cooked her breakfast – if she still felt comfortable doing that. Unfortunately, that’d have to wait for another day, and as for what I needed to do today, I was already behind.

  Walking into the bedroom, instead of being greeted by the memories of my fight with Melody, I was greeted by the warm smell of Luna’s conditioner – something with citrus and vanil – and on the way to my phone, I had to resist the urge to grab one of her pillows and hold it to my face while I took another nap.

  On one hand, I was disappointed there were no messages from Melody, but on the other, I was shocked by there being a few emails from my bosses giving me paperwork to sign and telling me about back-to-back meetings I had today. Thankfully, I still had enough time to get myself ready, but still, it was stressful, even if I’d known the meetings were coming.

  After a quick breakfast and throwing on my clothes – along with checking my phone another three times – I was off to work.

  The previous day, I’d kind of resolved myself to be more honest – or at least be less dishonest. Something that complicated that, however, was my work. I didn’t want to tell Luna or my family about what I was doing for money, because it still felt shameful to me, even if I couldn’t pin down exactly why. Furthermore, even if I didn’t tell anyone, there would be the constant risk that someone would recognise me, assuming I kept using Sarah’s body in everyday life and for work.

  It would suck to constantly be sitting on that ticking time bomb, but it would also suck to find a different body, because – part of being more honest was telling myself the truth – I liked Sarah’s body. I liked being short and cute and foxy some of the time, and it would be stupid to let my shame take that away from me.

  On the other hand, I still hadn’t reconciled the fact that my body was so… sexually designed. In everyday life the average person that saw me – assuming the fox ears weren’t out – would just think that I got lucky genetics or had a really good skincare routine. But that wasn’t true. With the context that I’d chosen all of this without any of the work it usually required, it felt immoral that I was so deliberately attractive – it felt like I was being dishonest, like I hadn’t earned any of this.

  And was this really the only way for me to be a woman? I really had to come up with a body that was only tangentially simir to my previous one, one that didn’t even look human?

  The commute uncovered no answers, although it was retively peaceful, given that I’d actually remembered to make myself look human. I greeted Mia with a wave on my way in, and made my way to the second meeting room ten minutes early, where only Alice was so far.

  “Hey, Sarah – how’s it going?” she greeted cheerfully.

  “I’m pretty good – how ‘bout you?” I responded, sitting in the chair next to her. The room was dominated by a rge, circur table with about a dozen chairs scattered around it. There was a projector hanging from the ceiling pointed at the wall, and a tech-y mishmash in that area, although, even with my two years of computer science csses in college, I couldn’t tell what any of it was.

  “Much better now that I get to see your pretty face,” she flirted, both of us immediately ughing softly.

  Alice was nice to be around; it felt like there was a ck of pressure to be anything more than myself, and I never had to worry about our retionship becoming something more. Even as she flirted, there was an ease with which she said her lines, a lightness in her eyes that said she didn’t intend to go any further, and I liked that simplicity.

  We sat in comfortable silence until Mrs. Willow strode into the room, her cool confidence changing the atmosphere effortlessly. “Good afternoon dies,” she said, moving to the seat opposite ours and setting down a folder bursting with paper on the desk.

  After acknowledgements from Alice and I, she continued, folding her hands on the table in front of her and leaning forward with a stern expression on her face.

  Contrary to my expectations, she started by praising us, “We’ve got the video edited and brushed up and it turned out wonderfully. With our first shoot with an actor it can be hard sometimes to get a decent product there and we sometimes have to write it off as a training exercise, but you two work well together.”

  Alice nodded while I preened, trying not to melt while the cool beauty that was my boss complimented me.

  “However,” she continued, “That doesn’t mean there aren’t improvements to be made. While we strive to keep you as comfortable as possible, that doesn't mean being compcent. So, the primary focus of this meeting will be for us to analyse what could’ve been better. In the future, we’d include your co-star’s performance in this analysis, but for today, we’ll mainly be focusing on you – Sarah – given your inexperience.”

  I nodded, determined to improve and make this job work.

  “Alright.” She stood, grabbing a fsh drive out of her pants pocket and moving over to the projector setup. Within a few moments, my own naked body was projected onto the wall, eliciting an embarrassed flush of my cheeks.

  “So, first off,” Mrs. Willow started, “There were a few times you looked at the camera. For example… here,” she said, pointing at the projection. “Other studios might be fine with that or even want it, but we prefer the default to be the actors focused on each other. So unless you have a specific reason to, try not to look into the cameras.”

  I continued nodding along.

  “Next,” she said, scrolling the video to another point, “This part, where you nod at Alice, and ter, when you tap the back of her head to get her to slow down – we love that. Non-verbal communication is great at showing the connection between you two so keep that up.”

  I took a break from nodding to brush away my embarrassment and internalise her advice – as hard as that was.

  Shoot, I wish I had something to take notes with…

  My boss continued, “I don’t want to overload you so two more things: first, your sensitivity. Your body is the way it is, and that’s okay, but there are ways to get a longer video, even if you’re a quick shot. We can experiment with longer forepy or multiple orgasms or, if you’re into it, edging. The point is to be thinking about video length, because as it stands, this one was on the shorter end.”

  My blush increased, and I resisted the urge to look down.

  “Last thing – and this goes for both of you – be more clear about when you want the cameras to stop. We got your aftercare on film and the editors were confused if that was part of the scene or if you wanted to keep that private. I stepped in and told them to cut it, but if you want to include something like that in the future, I’m sure part of our audience would appreciate it.” She shook her head, “The point is, be clear about when the cameras should stop.”

  She paused, inviting questions, but I shook my head and gnced at Alice. Alice asked about the specific signal she should use to get the crew to stop the cameras, but I was still thinking about my own stuff.

  Once they finished, Mrs. Willow addressed me again, “I’ll be heading out for a few minutes so Alice can give you her own advice, but I’ll be back for your next meeting with Emily.”

  I nodded and watched as she left, leaving behind her folder of papers.

  “So, what do you think of the boss dy?” Alice asked as soon as the door was closed.

  My eyes widened as I turned to her.

  “What? You did great, I don’t have anything to tell you off of one experience – I’m sure you’ll do great as you get more comfortable.”

  “Okay, but can’t she, like, read minds?” I whispered, gncing at the door.

  Alice ughed, “If she could read minds, she’d have fired me forever ago – or at least given me a thousand stern lectures,” she shook her head, “Now c’mon, I saw the way you looked at her – you think she’s hot don’t you? You into women thirty-five years older than you?”

  My brow furrowed, “How old do you think I am?”

  “Hmm… twenty?” she guessed.

  I face-palmed, internally menting my stupid shapeshifting. “I’m twenty-eight.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever, she’s about twenty-five years older than you – same difference.”

  “I’m not talking about my boss like that.” I turned away and crossed my arms.

  “Fine…” Alice chuckled, leaning back in her chair and gncing at the big analogue clock on the wall. “Hmm, Em should be getting here soon, so I think it’s my time to leave. I’d offer you advice for her, but I think you and her will be all over each other, so…”

  “Oh my god…” I muttered, trying not to imagine the woman I was about to meet. If the impression Alice had of me was of me being a complete pillow princess, then Emily must be…

  “Well, good luck!” Alice called, waving at me as she dashed out of the room.

  “Wonderful…” I muttered.