【37.】

  The first semester of sophomore year passed relatively quickly, but the annoying courses were still many. Fortunately, the coursework was not so tight. On the day of the holiday, I was caught by the instructor to do chores.

  There are many students in the office, but most of them are juniors. Two counselors were chatting in front of me and I vaguely heard Du Bin's name. I didn't take it to heart, anyway it had nothing to do with me.

  "Willow Jia."

  The guide called me and I quickly put down my pen and ran over.

  She handed me a thick stack of paper: "Take it to the Dean's office and say it's the list of demerits for the first half semester and bonus points for participating in activities from the Department of Electronics."

  "Oh." I waved my hand and asked "Where is the office?"

  "Fifteenth floor. Go in and take a look around, each office door has a sign."

  I nodded and took these things to the elevator. The 15th floor is different from our teacher's office, with a very stylish decoration, and the abstract oil paintings on the wall are all very artistic. We once discussed privately, can a group of science teachers understand such artistic paintings?

  Tao's words were the most amusing. She said: "Probably the teachers on the 15th floor collectively think that the small human figure in the toilet sign is the most lovely and good-looking!"

  I walked all the way there, and the heavy door gave people a solemn feeling, with a strong academic atmosphere.

  The door of the principal's office looked very nice, I repeatedly looked at the sign on the door several times to make sure it was the principal's office before knocking.

  "Please come in."

  I pushed open the door and saw someone still sitting on the sofa.

  Du Bin saw me and nodded with a smile. I was extremely embarrassed and forced out a smile that could rival crying.

  The dean was an old man who had aged, smiling all day long. He looked at me and asked, "Is there anything?"

  I just reacted and hurriedly put the paper in his hand on his desk: "This is what Zhang teacher gave you, saying that it's our electronics department's first half semester demerit list and activity participation bonus list."

  He flipped through it and smiled: "Is this all? Your instructor should be commended."

  I have no such experience and don't know what to say at this time, I can only stand there foolishly.

  He flipped through it and said after a while: "There are several places where the points are not added correctly. Wait a minute, I'll draw it for you, and let Teacher Zhang do it again."

  "Good."

  The principal put on his glasses, but instead of looking at the watch in his hand, he said to Du Bin: "Du Bin... I've seen you grow up. This opportunity is not easy to come by, and I hope you'll reconsider."

  Du Bin maintained his signature elegant smile: "Thank you, Dean. I still want to stay in the country for development."

  The principal sighed, resentful that his efforts had come to nothing: "It's not as if I'm asking you to emigrate. Studying abroad... how many people are eyeing this opportunity? I quietly helped you secure it. My hope is for you to learn even more knowledge. After all, in this field, foreign countries are still more professional."

  I don't dare say how well I understand Du Bin, but I know he's not someone who easily gives up on things. Being so resolute today means it's probably hopeless. The director saw that he wasn't speaking and waved his hand: "You go back first. Think carefully about it. You're still young, think thrice before acting. Lest you regret it later."

  He stood up and slightly bowed to the principal: "Thank you, teacher."

  The principal drew a few strokes with his pen and handed it to me: "Trouble Teacher Zhang."

  I can only smile too.

  As I closed the door, I couldn't help but sigh at my own lack of social experience. Just now, I was so passive, fortunately it was just in front of the principal, if I were to participate in work in the future, would this attitude anger my superiors? There are so many nice words, why can't I remember them at critical moments?!

  Ran into Du Bin while waiting for the elevator, what a narrow road encounter. Really unlucky.

  He looked at me: "Helping the instructor with work?"

  I nodded.

  "The principal is actually a very nice person, you don't have to be so formal."

  This is...

  "That's because you have a good relationship with him, so you think he's pleasant to be around. I'm just an ordinary classmate, how dare I try to get close to him?"

  Actually, what Du Bin said wasn't wrong, it's just that I don't like him, whatever he says I'm too lazy to care. It's basically subconscious rebuttal.

  He smiled and said, "Anyway, you have a number in your heart, I won't say much."

  I pouted and ignored him again.

  "That day at the city hospital..."

  I turned around sensitively.

  He looked at me with a somewhat sorrowful expression: "You rarely look like that."

  Are you saying I'm crying?

  I felt a little guilty and didn't dare look at him, just staring at the numbers in the elevator, hoping to leave quickly.

  "Ding!"

  As I stepped out of the elevator on the ground floor, I let out a sigh of relief. I hastily left, but unexpectedly...

  "Liujia!"

  "What's up?"

  "You..." He seemed to have thought for a moment, but didn't know what he was considering.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Yao Jia, isn't it, in your heart... I'm just not good enough?" He looked at me, word by word "No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try. As long as I'm still me, Du Bin. It's just not good enough?"

  The words were spoken somewhat confusingly, but I think I understood them myself.

  "Don't say that..."

  He walked over, standing in front of me: "I know you don't want to see me. So I've been avoiding you, even if it's hard for myself, I couldn't bear the thought of you being unhappy. I know how to take care of someone. But Liu Jia, can I ask you not to reject me?"

  "I don't have..."

  These words were spoken with no conviction, and even I didn't believe them myself.

  He stretched out his hand as if he wanted to touch my hair, but hesitated for a moment and put it down: "Forget it. I was just thinking too much. Sorry."

  I shook my head: "Nothing, I'll go first."

  Later, I also reflected on my youth when I didn't know how to handle such relationships. Actually, Du Bin is not a bad person. Even if we can't be lovers, being friends and getting along well is still very good. In this world, there are many things that aren't just black or white; at least three choices exist for everything. But I always choose the worst one.

  But who can blame him for being young at that time? Now thinking back, it's endless sighs.