I had now been in this damn place for a whole two days now. I knew it had been so because someone kept bringing me food, the first time it was shuffled into the room I tried to ignore it but my stomach had other ideas. Other than that not much had changed, instead of on the floor I was on the bed. My head was dangling off the edge and I was staring straight at the ceiling.

  I flopped my arms up and let them fall off the edge by my head. with one, large inhale I finally gave in to my fate.

  “Ugh, fuck it, might as well.”

  I breathed in once more and felt as my chest raised before I flung my arms up and lifted off the bed. Time for sadness was over, I kinda wish it wasn’t but my situation wasn’t fucking getting any better by sitting on my ass.

  I walked over to what I felt was a mirror and in that wonderful piece of shiny trash I saw a demon. I went to comb my fingers through my hair, but my arm didn’t even get halfway before I walked away from the mirror.

  “eh, who gives a shit.”

  I felt a small pit grow in my stomach as I approached the door, but I brushed it off. I didn’t care anymore, yeah that was it, I really didn’t care.

  With a final sigh I opened that damn dfoor and headed out into the hall. It was quiet, not a soul to be heard. I mused the reasons but moved on before anything even remotely remarkable entered my head.

  Following along the hall I eventually came to a staircase one might consider grand, but it was just made of dull stone hidden by carpet. The entire building seemed to be a marvel of engineering, but there wasn’t much else to it. it seemed to be built for a purpose… even a building had a purpose, what the fuck was mine?

  I sighed, and then I realised I may never stop sighing, it reminded me of that man I once called my father, he too sighed so often. I did not pity the man, nor did I forgive him, but I wondered if he felt the same, so drained, so lifeless.

  Ugh, I Said I wouldn’t give a shit, I told myself that, yet my brain wouldn’t stop churning at every possible moment. It was loud, it hurt, I just wanted it to stop, yet even my own mind was against me.

  When I came to my senses I realised I had made it outside of the old stone building and had found myself in a courtyard of sorts. Snow piled high on the ground and more came In through… well, the sky? There wasn’t a roof, I was sure that there was a name for it rattling around somewhere in my head, but it just wouldn’t come to me.

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  I looked around the snow-covered mess and my eyes latched onto something foolishly left out. It was a blade; it had decent dents along it’s length and it had surely been abused.

  I picked up the blunt blade and I thought about what to do with it, I could use it to escape… but what was the point? I would be dead long before I even reached the barony. With a sigh I put it in front of me and my legs began to move.

  I didn’t like the feeling, there was no substance to the air, my muscles stretched and flexed as I moved but it didn’t feel right. nevertheless, I just went on and on, dredging up the positions and paths from my memory.

  Even as I adjusted to the feeling of hitting nothing but air, it still felt so off felt that my mind kept getting dragged out. I tried to focus again and again, but I needed to strike something, but there was nothing! Everything I did ended in frustration, again and again and again. the feeling that something is wrong, like my actions are not my own, so many feelings came to me and I felt angry again. but I also didn’t care, I couldn’t do anything, this terrible situation just made me angrier.

  Slowly I began to feel like I was tearing at something soft, but I thought little of it as the wind claimed my strength. My ears were filled with a piercing pain and I hiffed down my blad and brought my hands to my ears. The heat did little to quell the pain, in fact it burnt, but I didn’t let go. Instead, I stared up at the night sky, at the stars and the snow that fell relentlessly onto the grounds.

  The pain in my ears lessened and I wondered how with all my hair it hadn’t kept out even the slightest bit of the cold. Perhaps I should have asked for a hat? But who would I even get a hat from? And why was that even important? So many questions, I always had so many, even if I knew exactly how the world worked, I would still have questions. Maybe that was a good thing, but as I stood the cold seeped into me, but when I moved the cold air brushed past my fingers and reached my airs causing the pain to return.

  When my ears had finally returned to nominal temperatures I grasped the sword once more. Grabbing into the snow my hands felt the chill but the blade itself was far worse. My hands cried out at my cruelty, and soon too did my muscles, they tingled and I knew I should push myself no further. I could have hiffed the blade again, but I decided not to and searched in the mounds of white for a rack of sorts to place it. I found no such thing but found solace in propping it up against a wall.

  I then headed back inside taking one last look at the blade before I shut the door.

  Returning was much like how I left, a mindless blurr. How I even remembered the route I took in that senseless moment of mine seemed to be a miracle, but I made it back to what I presumed to be my new place of residence. It was probably a prison, but what prison would let its convicts wander around so freely? Oh right, leaving was suicide, right… not even a nice way to go either… I spent either way too long or just the right amount of time mulling over how horrible the cold was before I fell asleep on the floor. I had wanted to try the bed, but it just didn’t sit right with me for some reason. The floor was cold, but it was solid, it couldn’t leave me, not like the others.