She had turned her back towards me, rejecting me utterly as she walked away. And I felt my soul as if shattered.

  ...

  Events could have gone better. Then again they've could have gone a lot worse.

  What was supposed to be a simple support and intervention mission. To act as a distracting feint to cover Caliburnus's team, turned into a convoluted mess despite achieving our objective. Not only did we had to deflect a full on mercenary strike team from his tail, besides a Reunion entanglement. But somehow we ended up having to shield and evacuate a group of refugees from this mess. All while having our transports blown to Hell.

  Add the fact that without our transports we were at the very least eight days away from the nearest extraction point. As well as having had all our supplies and food stocks also within what was our ride out, things didn't look good. Barely had we began our march home that our new charge gave sabotage level of problems.

  A heated debate against Saria turned cacophony as more of the refugees came to back up their troublesome figurehead. The debate and demands they were bringing up were pointless. Saria was an unflinching pillar before them. And we had no supplies to spare in the first place. As the designated leader of the team, Saria more than kept her calm against this filthy rabble with high claims to the little resources we had left. She stood her ground, but did not strike.

  That, was her mistake. Give the enemy an inch, and they will bite a whole mile off of you. Be indulgent, and they will take you for granted. Be merciful, and they will think you are weak.

  Human nature never changed.

  -''We protected you. You have your lives in your hands. Now march ahead and make do as you can until relief is delivered.'' Saria spoke with a calm but also a determined and dangerous air. As if her answer was final, and nothing else would be broke.

  I observed how the once helpless refugees were rapidly turning into a mob. Not that they were a danger to Saria, or I. But they were a nuisance at the very least. A backstab waiting to happen at the very worst. An unstable element in our hands that I would have very much preferred we got rid of.

  We had pulled off our main objective, but now we were left with wounded, and no supplies for the long journey back ahead of us. And with a burden I knew our Rhodes Island team could not carry.

  That is why when they crossed the line they had made my decision so much easier.

  -''You cannot let us die of hunger! We will go and split your food with us now!'' Said the pompous figurehead of the refugee group as he was walking towards our bundled backpacks. Just before being bashed down violently into the dirt.

  -''Approach us again, and it will be worse for you.'' Saria had spoken out coldly.

  But that mere act wasn't a sufficient show of force. I could see it, I've read it in their postures. Momentary shock, fear. Then, defiance, indignation, anger. Their voices grew as they pulled him up.

  -''You cannot stop all of us!'' Screamed another before several rushed against her shield with no effect. Saria was the most formidable vouivre I knew on Terra. Even with all their efforts combined it would all be a feeble attempt at most for her.

  But rats didn't need to take down a lion.

  One of the more sneaky of the group snuck silent and fast to our stored backpacks. About to grab one along with the precious few resources we had left.

  My handgun was already in my right hand being aimed as I heard Saria's order spoken calmly.

  -Warning shot.

  I squeezed the trigger, and the teenager's chest was pierced bloodily on both ends. The weight of his sack tied behind making him fall like dead weight back into the mud.

  A sudden scream pierced the air and overcame all other voices.

  I aimed, squeezing the trigger once more. The refugee leader's head bobbed back violently as the bullet went through. Punching a fist sized hole on the back of his head on its exit.

  -''I will kill you all if you don't get out of my sight!'' I shouted.

  That was the shock that was needed. Terror gripped the entire refugee group, and they fled. Desperate to keep their lives, to not be the next one in line.

  All the operators of our team were there except the cadets. And many gazed at me in stupor of what I just did. Provence and a few others especially. Saria had turned around, walking towards me, unaffected of the events that just transpired. Everyone was expectant to what was about to be said, or what was about to happen. For one, it could have gone either way. I holstered my weapon and waited her judgment impassively.

  -I said warning shot.

  -''They were warned, weren't they?'' I replied.

  -You misunderstand. I meant only one warning shot.

  -You are right. Though the effect was manifest in full.

  And with that the admonishment ended, having left many operators speechless.

  I took to searching the corpse of the teenager that wanted to rob us, finding the sack he was carrying mostly full of useless trinkets. Stolen goods for sure. Along with some items of food in various stages of freshness.

  -''He probably was their chief bandit.'' I spoke to Saria as she was inspecting besides me.

  -''We don't need the other trash.'' She spoke, referring to the junk and jewellery.

  -Agreed.

  -I want you to pile everything we have. Also, I need to have a personal discussion with you once you have inventoried our resources.

  That was unexpected. Though I could surmise the reason. The journey back to relief would be a long one, through a mostly barren land. Everyone had little supplies on them while active in the operation. Except myself. Years of survival, near-death experiences that included starvation and thirst made my sense of preservation somewhere high on my list of priorities. So much so that I would bring extra pouches on me with necessities during operations. As well as even planting secret supply stashes aside from our designated vehicles or safe points. And many at this point knew of this habit of mine, most likely Saria as well.

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  -''Report.'' Demanded Saria.

  -Our combined food supplies are barely enough to feed each operator fully for a day. That can be stretched to two days. What we recovered from the looter is barely enough to stretch that estimate to three days.

  -Do the other operators have anything else to pitch in?

  -They don't make a habit of going into combat with their pockets filled with protein bars.

  -Except you.

  Aaah. Here came the bone of contention.

  -''Do you have demands on my resources?'' I spoke calmly but with a sharp chill in my voice.

  -''I will pay you eight times for each item of food once we reach our landship.'' She spoke to the point.

  -What if I'm not selling? If anyone knew of my habit then they also knew they could have done the same.

  -''Name your price then.'' Saria beckoned.

  I was becoming somewhat perplexed by her way of going forward with this.

  -Why are you so vehement on my resources yet restrained enough to compensate me?

  -''Because I know it can come to blood with you.'' She spoke before she threw a large piece of tree bark at my feet.

  It looked fresh. Off one of the still living trees in the area. It looked obviously broken off the trunk with force. And there were... bite marks on it.

  -I've found Ifrit and Shamare trying to eat this while hiding from everyone else.

  Those two... were the cadets attached to our team. Rhodes Island introduced such a system where youngsters with special abilities would be deployed in operations, even in combat ones. A reckless decision that I thought distasteful. I then understood Saria's motive.

  I just stood there. Contemplating for a few moments, weighing before finding my humanity. I've pulled a packet from one of my pouches, handing it to Saria.

  -Has a stack of twelve. Enough for each to have one for six days. They're rich in nutrients, so they'll keep them going.

  -''Thank you.'' Replied Saria with a trace of relatable humanity in her own voice.

  -You only need to pay me the equal valour once we return, no more.

  -''Also, we can spare this from the looters bag just for the little ones.'' I spoke as I set aside a jar of fruit jam and half a loaf of bread.

  She simply pulled a knife and hit the hard loaf as if to prove a point.

  -''You want to feed them this?'' Saria had asked with a silent affront to the idea.

  -''The shell is hardened, but the inside is still edible.'' I proved as I managed to cut and peel the outer shell.

  -It's a meagre meal for a large body of people. So I'd say it's fine to set it aside just for them.

  -''I agree. If anyone has a problem they can put it up with me.'' Added Saria in agreement with my proposal.

  Near the end of the day we were approached by Provence and another operator. Both of them were obviously indisposed. Most likely at what had happened earlier that day. And they were about to share their piece of mind with us.

  They stopped in their tracks before us as they made sense of the scene in front of them. On one side near the camp fire, Shamare and Ifrit were happily munching on a few sweet sandwiches. While Saria and I were crunching loudly the crust we'd cut off as we sat on some empty supply boxes.

  ''This shit is worse than hardtacks.'' I thought.

  -''Speak.'' Saria had bid them.

  The two operators were obviously having doubts at their query. Despite it Provence took the word. If it was their original query or not I could not tell.

  -Are you alright with what has happened today?

  -''They have shown their colours, I have to take care of the team before anyone else. We already have the difficult task of surviving the road ahead of us.'' Saria had answered.

  The discussion was short, and seemed to have left both of the operators dissatisfied. Later that night as I approached Provence I was to be in for a surprise. I felt that there was a cold air forming between us from my actions that day. But what happened next touched some of my worst fears. I approached her, hoping we could talk.

  She had turned her back towards me, rejecting me utterly as she walked away. And I felt my soul as if shattered.

  She must have felt... disgusted with me, for what had happened that day. A pain was gathering in me at the mere knowledge that she felt that. I spent many hours contemplating. Unable to rest, unable to focus much on anything else. I just couldn't let things be as they were.

  I approached Saria late that night to change the roster of the watch shift that would replace the night one early in the morning. It was such that Provence was ill surprised to find me joining her on watch that morning. Mister Grape, Provence's large wolf companion gave a low but long and dangerous growl. Reflecting Provence's state of spirit against me.

  -''There's nothing to talk.'' She spoke first, resentful.

  -I'm your watch partner.

  A look of surprise followed by understanding. She then knew Saria and I had arranged this. The fire was meagre, barely lighting the shadows between us. I pulled out an MRE (ready to eat meal) pack, ripping it open. Laying the contents by the fire as I started setting the portable stove.

  -Help yourself with anything you want.

  -''I don't need any.'' She snapped back at me. Her voice stingful, her attitude showing that she barely tolerated my presence.

  -We need our strength to be able to keep our watch.

  -Did Saria gave you the ration?

  -No, it's mine alone. She didn't demand it.

  -It would have been put to better use giving some to the others.

  -It's the last one. All the surplus I had I already given to Saria to safe keep them for Shamare and Ifrit.

  -What made you decide that?

  -''They were caught chewing on this.'' I answered, pulling out the same piece of bark that I kept with me from under my jacket. Bite marks very much evident on them.

  At that sight Provence seemed staggered. And then, slightly ashamed for some reason. Her hostile attitude towards me mellowed somewhat.

  -''The area is desolate. I couldn't forage anything these last two days.'' She said despairingly.

  -''The more reason we didn't took on responsibilities than we could not have carried. The road back is going to strain us to the limit of our lives.'' I spoke, hinting at the aftermath of yesterday's altercation, and she caught on the notion.

  -''You didn't need to kill them.'' Provence spoke sternly, yet without the venom of disdain in her voice anymore.

  -''I'm sorry.'' I said simply, giving pause before I spoke again. ''I've resolved the conflict in my own swiftest way.''

  -You did it so naturally. How many times did you do it before?

  I averted my gaze slightly before closing my eyes. Emptying my mind of the past memories that tried to force their way back.

  -''Forgive me. I shouldn't have asked that.'' Provence apologised with honest sincerity.

  -''I protected our group. That's enough of a victory for me.'' I said in turn.

  -Not at the cost of your humanity, Tacet.

  -... I know. At least I safeguarded the humanity of the little ones. The young have a light of hope that has to be protected from life's despoilers. Hunger is one of those despoilers. Gone far enough it would strip you of all your morals and your humaneness. Twisting men inside, turning them into beasts.

  -''You've seen it happen.'' She spoke, half a question, half a statement.

  I exhaled. Finally achieving a lighter state of mind, especially now that our conversation had no more hostility in it.

  -''I have. It's not a good sight.'' I replied before changing the subject.

  -Will you share this meal with me?

  At this Provence didn't answer, her reluctance still palpable.

  -You are our lead messenger, and the one most experienced with the outdoors. You will need all your strength in the days to come if you are to scout ahead and have any chance of foraging.

  -That, and I would feel better knowing you had something yourself.

  She inspected me for a few moments, then, decided. She lifted herself up, and I expected her to leave. Instead, she sat close by my side.

  -''Coffee?'' I asked.

  -Yes please.

  Despite splitting the ration pack we had still gotten a plentiful breakfast each. And as Grape now sat at both our feet I had fed it too with spare jerky from the meal. Accepting the offer without shredding my hand and without the malice it showed previously. And as light was slowly dispelling the darkness a final chill descended upon the earth as we were enjoying our invigorating dark drink.

  -''Unusually cold for the season we are in.'' I noticed with no real intent in my mind.

  Her large and incredibly fluffy tail enveloped me out of the blue. My heart raced as my instincts were screaming bloody murder about to happen. Yet I forced it down. And slowly, I basked into the comfort and warmth that this lupa was bestowing onto me.

  I smiled in appreciation, and Provence reciprocated in kind.

  -''Whatever you might find while foraging might not be enough, so have these. It will keep you going.'' I spoke as I handed her a tin can full of chocolate bits, along with my last two protein bars.

  -Subtly implying I might eat the spoils I find instead of bringing them back?

  -If it's too meagre then it is not worth bringing back rather than just eating what you find yourself out there.

  -How low do you think of me?

  -''Provence.'' I spoke with a heavier tone to grasp her entire attention.

  -''I think highly of you. More than you know. So don't misunderstand my words.'' I spoke before continuing.

  -Imagine this group of ours as our pack. Or that Shamare and Ifrit are our pups. You go out there every day to hunt and scrounge for food to bring back. It may be bleak, the land may be barren. And there may be nothing to bring home one day.

  -But the next one you will succeed in bringing back nourishment for the pups. However, if the parents deprive themselves of food in their struggle to feed their pups then their vigor will fade. And they will die. So will the pups, and the entire pack.

  -Take care of yourself while out there first and foremost. The pups need their parents, their providers to retain their force in order for all to survive.

  Provence appraised me for a few moments before speaking.

  -''I will take care of myself, trust in me.'' She said with a smile, finally accepting the spare rations.

  -''That's all I need to hear to be at ease.'' I replied with a content smile as well.

  -I like the analogy with the pups. Where did you come up with that wisdom?

  -My parents shared it with me.

  -They must have been a rare breed of wise and fearsome mates. For they raised quite a deadly but caring hunter.

  -''Heh, they really were.'' I agreed with a small but genuine laughter.

  We remained there a bit longer. Enveloped in the coat of her heavenly tail closely wrapped around me. It was not only the tail itself that kept me warm, but her intent that kept it coiled so. So much that I felt my soul merry as never before. And with a burning passion for this wonderful lupa that made me feel so alive.