Chapter 104: A Strange Dream

  My last memory was pushing away a person I really disliked, as for why I pushed that person, I don't quite remember anymore. August 1st.

  But I still remember there was someone who cared about me, just her name, I couldn't quite recall it either.

  Don't ask me where I am now and what I'm doing, I don't even know what I'm doing or where I am.

  There are many strange little fish around me. These fish are not swimming in the water, but are freely swimming in the air around my body.

  I tried to catch the fish several times, but I couldn't succeed. So I gave up this useless action and started quietly watching these elf-like creatures swimming around me.

  I don't know how long I've been watching these fish, but suddenly I feel very lonely and want to leave here and go somewhere else.

  So I started walking in the endless ocean of fish. At first, I walked very slowly because I was afraid of losing my direction. Gradually, I realized that there is no direction here at all, and I don't need to worry about losing my sense of direction. I used all my strength to start running here, regardless of direction, and without worrying about colliding with the fish here.

  It's strange that no matter how I run, I can't leave this place, nor can I catch the fish here. It's as if the fish here are just an illusion and it's impossible to bump into them. Even stranger is that I don't feel hungry or thirsty...

  I don't know how big this place is, nor do I know if it has an end. It's as if I've entered a very strange world, completely unaware of whether I'll be stuck here forever, unable to leave again.

  Time slowly slipped away, and I gradually felt impatient. I started to lose my temper, scolding those fish that I had never even touched before. Although the fish didn't care about me at all, I still yelled and shouted at them as usual. At this time, another strange phenomenon appeared: my voice was actually silent! No matter how loudly I shouted, I didn't make any sound.

  No wonder those fish didn't respond to me, I didn't make any sound at all, how would they respond to me?

  Then I started to check my own body, and I felt that there must be something wrong with my body. Otherwise, how could I not make a sound? Even if someone is born mute, they will still make some sounds, it's just that these sounds can't form normal language.

  I reached out to touch my own neck, and then I was frightened. I didn't have a neck at all! Where's my neck? Am I just left with a head? I also hurriedly lowered my head, wanting to see my body. As soon as I lowered my head, I scared myself again, and I couldn't lower my head either. My head seemed to be fixed in place, and I could only tilt it back, unable to make any other movements.

  What about my hand? It moved a little while ago, it should be able to move. So I tried moving my hand again, and it really could move. Not only could it move, but I could also put my own hand right in front of my eyes, so that I could see my shoulder joint and armpit, even the few hairs inside my armpit, I could see them very clearly...

  I stared with wide eyes - how could I look up and see my own armpits? Was it... had my arms separated from my body?

  Split? My "heart" went thud, and I couldn't help but shout: "My arm is broken?! Help...!"

  Of course, I still couldn't make any sound, and there was no sound coming out of my mouth at all. In fact, I didn't even feel my heart, nor did I know if it had also separated from me...

  Next, I tried to look at my other arm and both legs and feet... then I fainted. I was scared faint, and I saw all parts of my body, and they were all seen on top of my head.

  What does this mean? It means my body was torn apart, dismembered into eight pieces.

  What's going on? Have I already died and been taken away for dissection, sliced up? Or has my enemy caught me and is dissecting me?

  Enemy? Ah, I remember now... I think I was killed by an enemy... I'm really already dead, been killed...

  Who am I now? Is it my soul?

  Is this what I am now? Or have I become a ghost?

  I started to daydream, one moment I thought I was a living person, the next moment I thought I was a ghost, and then... I seemed to have turned into a fish again, just like the fish beside me.

  No wonder I couldn't catch those fish, I'm a fish myself, how can I use my hands to catch them?

  But I still have hands, feet... If a fish grew hands, what would it look like? Would it be scary? It should be very valuable, more valuable than those cultural relics. Because this is a monster, an unprecedented monster.

  What about me? Is my current appearance also a monster?

  I really want to shout "I am not a monster", but at this time, there is a very strange voice that starts to spread into my ears: "You are the monster, you are the monster, you are..."

  I hate this sound, I don't want to cover my ears and not hear the sound again, but I couldn't do it because my arms left my body and didn't listen to my command.

  This sound has been following me, entwining me, tightly entwining me...

  I'm going crazy, like a madman swimming around in the ocean of people, wanting to escape this noise and go to a quieter place.

  But this annoying sound keeps ringing in my ears nonstop, making me unable to rest, sleep or think properly...

  I've finally gone mad, driven mad by this voice. So I no longer avoid it, nor do I fear this voice. Silently, I say to this invisible voice: "I'm not afraid of you... I'm not afraid of you..."

  I kept repeating the same sentence over and over again, and gradually, I felt that something different from before appeared in front of my eyes... what was it? It's very vague, I couldn't see clearly.

  I slowly approached the thing that suddenly appeared, wanting to see what it was... I slowly approached, and this thing didn't even run away. So, I finally saw clearly - it was a person.

  A stranger I'm familiar with!

  I'm sure I've met this person before and he looks very familiar. However, I don't know his name and I have no idea what kind of relationship we have.

  Is he my enemy? It's possible, an enemy is just my enemy. But why does he look at me with a smile on his face? And in that smile, there's something very familiar to me. What is it?

  That's right, I remember now, it was love. It was deep love for me!

  What kind of love is this? Let me think again, and again...

  I suddenly shouted out loud: "I know now, this is fatherly love... you are my father, my dad..."

  My voice is still gone, but I feel that feeling in my heart, the feeling of being loved by my father.

  This feels so good, it's good enough for me to temporarily forget everything...

  This person silently looked at me, smiling as he looked at me, as if I was just an infant and he was quietly watching his own young and ignorant child.

  I suddenly wanted to smile and let my father know that I also knew he was watching me, and I also knew his love for me.

  I don't know if I actually smiled, after all, I couldn't see the smile on my own face. So I changed methods, and quietly pushed the arm that had separated from my body towards my father, wanting to touch his face and let him feel the emotions and thoughts in my heart.

  Unfortunately, just as my arm appeared above my head, the father who loved me dearly suddenly changed color and was terrified. Then he disappeared, disappearing without a trace.

  I shouted "Dad, don't go" with all my might, but I couldn't make any sound. So I started searching for my father in the sea of fish, I swam around frantically, and sometimes even bumped into other fish in the sea...

  Wait a minute, I suddenly stopped... Did I just bump into other fish? When did this happen?

  Was it just now? Yes, it was just now! Can I touch other fish? I'm so happy, I temporarily forgot to look for my father, and I started trying to touch other fish.

  I really can bump into other fish now, although I'm not using my fins to bump into other fish, but my head - just my head, clearly felt that there were other fish knocking on my head a few times.

  Such a touch was so light and gentle, just like... just like what? How could I forget again?

  Wait, let me think carefully, have I had such an experience before?

  What was it at that time? Was I not dead then? It must have been when I wasn't dead.

  Then who did I run into? Was it that person's head? Or was it that person's hand? Or...

  I racked my brains, and suddenly, my mind moved, I remembered...

  That person's name is Chen Jing, yes, it's Chen Jing.

  I suddenly burst out laughing, and as soon as I think of this person named Chen Jing, I want to laugh, a happy laugh.

  So I laughed for a while, and then I started talking to myself: "At that time, I touched your hand, you looked so gentle...I felt very strange, just like..." Just like what? I couldn't say it. Anyway, I couldn't speak, the words I wanted to say were only thought in my heart.

  Never mind, let's take a break and talk about it later...

  I slowly closed my eyes and stopped looking at those fish, nor did I want to look at anything else.

  Close your eyes and I entered a darkness. No matter who it is, after closing their eyes, they will enter the darkness.

  My heart - perhaps just my brain - slowly calmed down. The surroundings were a sheet of silence, almost as quiet as death!

  Just then, I seemed to hear a very urgent voice in my ear. This urgent voice was shouting something, was it my name? It sounded like it.

  So I listened carefully, wanting to hear it clearly.

  But this voice seems to be faint and I find it hard to really hear clearly...

  I made myself completely quiet, and even my thoughts slowly came to a stop. Everything in the world, along with my thoughts, also slowly came to a stop.

  Then I really listened carefully and made out the voice, that voice was indeed calling my name - I suddenly realized, I remembered my own name.

  This is a very important thing, because after remembering my name, I thought of many more things.

  I remembered I was in a battle before, fighting against enemies. Who were the enemies? Ah yes, they were either Japanese pirates or ninjas...

  I remembered I was killed by a ninja of the Japanese pirates...

  I remembered I was killed by a ninja of the Japanese pirates for saving Chen Jing...

  I remembered...

  A lot... a lot...

  I'm dead, how can I still remember these things? This is another very important phenomenon! And my head still hurts a bit, what's going on here? Dead people aren't supposed to feel pain, are they?

  I was startled by the pain I felt and suddenly jumped up to see what's going on!

  But I don't have a body, so it's impossible for me to stand up. My movements are just slightly lifting my head and then returning to its original state.

  I'm disappointed, with wide open eyes staring at everything in front of me, feeling very disheartened.

  I'm still the same as before, unable to truly act, unable to truly speak, and unable to truly feel anything...

  Wait a minute, I seem to have seen something different from before. What is this? It's floating and flickering, appearing and disappearing... Is it a person or a ghost?

  I stared at this sudden appearance of a person or ghost and couldn't help but shout loudly: "Who are you? Are you human or ghost?"

  My voice didn't come out, but this ghost-like person laughed and said a sentence: "I am your master..."

  An old man immediately appeared in my mind, that was my master Kongshou. When I looked at this ghost-like person again, it turned out to be my master Kongshou indeed.

  "But how did you end up like this?" I couldn't help but ask silently: "Are you also dead, just like me?"

  Kong Shou's mouth opened and closed, but no sound entered my ears. He wouldn't be like me, unable to make a sound too, would he?

  So I shouted loudly, regardless of whether my "voice" could be heard by Kongshou.

  Kong Shou looked at me, initially very surprised, but then slowly recovered and even smiled at me. I understood his smile, he seemed to be telling me: you will get better soon, able to speak, able to do anything you want.

  I was happy and laughed, and when I opened my eyes again, my master had disappeared. He vanished in the blink of an eye.

  I'm no longer surprised. I've experienced it before. The people here always suddenly appear and then suddenly disappear. There's nothing strange or surprising about it anymore.

  I continue to stay in this sea of people, waiting for the next person to appear, or something else, as long as it's not a fish. There are too many fish here, so many that I'm tired of looking at them and don't want to look anymore...

  Who will appear this time? Is it Chen Jing? I always think of a person named Chen Jing, what's going on? Are there many things between us that bind us together?

  She won't be just my friend, will she even be my girlfriend? Or is she actually my wife?

  What is a wife? How could I think like this? I furrowed my brow and thought about it slowly...

  After a long time, I finally understood that a wife is a man's woman. She is also the mother of a man's child, and... it's a very great kind of... person.

  I was thinking about this seemingly complicated issue, and then I really saw the Chen Jing that I had been thinking about. There seemed to be something on Chen Jing's face, flashing, what were these?

  Droplets? It doesn't seem like it, there's no water here at all, even the fish are swimming in mid-air.

  What could it be?

  I racked my brains thinking about this problem, then I heard Chen Jing speaking: "How come you still haven't woken up? Don't you know how hard it is for me to wait for you? Are you going to wait until I'm old before waking up and marrying an old woman as your wife? You... wake up..."

  I opened my mouth and looked at Chen Jing who was so beautiful, then I shouted desperately: "I'm awake, I'm awake..."

  Unfortunately, my "voice" Chen Jing can't hear at all, a soundless voice, who can hear it?

  Chen Jing continued to talk to me, she looked at me very quietly, really quietly looking at me, and also talked. When speaking, it was still very quiet, isn't this hard to understand? However, all of this is true, quietly talking, that's just how it was.

  I no longer shouted or called out, anyway she couldn't hear me. So I quietly looked at Chen Jing and listened to Chen Jing speak.

  You are beautiful, really beautiful... I keep saying this sentence in my heart over and over again, no matter if she knows or not, I just keep repeating it.

  Chen Jing couldn't hear my words, but I could hear hers. She said: "If you don't wake up soon, I'll marry someone else and by the time you wake up, everything will be gone... It's not just me who will get married, even your fiancée, your friends, they will all get married to others..."

  I suddenly felt a little anxious. Such a beautiful Chen Jing, how can she marry someone else? She should either not get married or marry me.

  I won't let you marry someone else. I silently shouted in my heart, then made a great effort to open my mouth wide, hoping that Chen Jing would see my moving lips and understand what I meant.

  Unfortunately, this is just my own idea, it's my expectation. Chen Jing didn't have any reaction at all, she just kept talking to me and then stretched out her hand to touch my head.

  It felt very comfortable, the moment she touched me. I closed my eyes and wanted to savor this rare comfort thoroughly.

  This comfortable feeling disappeared quickly, and when I hurriedly opened my eyes, Chen Jing, who had just appeared, also disappeared.

  I really want to shout loudly and ask Chen Jing to come back and accompany me again. Unfortunately, I still can't make any sound, and all my thoughts can only stay in my mind. I'm very disappointed, looking at the floating arm around me, wanting to bite it hard and vent my anger.

  Of course, even the small requirement of venting my emotions, I couldn't fulfill. I'm like a vegetable, yet not quite a vegetable. Like a vegetable, I can neither move nor speak, but I can think and imagine many things...

  Am I in a dream? Are all people who are dreaming like me now, thinking a lot but doing nothing?

  I suddenly realized that I was indeed just like in a dream.

  So I gritted my teeth and tried to wake up from the dream.

  The first time I didn't succeed, I gritted my teeth and couldn't leave this dream - if I was really dreaming, everything here was a dream.

  The second time I changed methods, I bit my own lip.

  My lips are easy to bite and painful, after biting, I should wake up.

  This is what I thought of, so I started taking action. I couldn't speak or move, but I could open my mouth wide, so I could also bite my own lips.

  I used all my strength and bit down hard with hatred.

  Then my head shook violently and almost fell off into mid-air.

  It hurts so much! The pain pierces through my heart.

  I have no heart, so I'm in great pain. My brain is dizzy for a moment, and then quickly wakes up.

  I didn't even have time to see anything clearly, and my mouth was already loudly shouting: "It hurts me too..."

  Then I suddenly stopped speaking, because I actually heard my own voice.

  Can I speak now? Or is this just an illusion?

  I started turning my head, slowly turning my head...

  I can actually turn around now, and my eyes still saw... what is this?

  Not fish.

  It's really not a fish!

  What is this? It looks very familiar.

  That's right, I remember now, it was a lamp, a very bright lamp.

  I woke up, I finally left the dream, woke up!

  I want to shout loudly, but also want to take a look at everything here first, and I also want to see my father, see Master, see Chen Jing, see... many many...