The Red Dawn Pirates' ship rocked gently in the harbor of Remnant Island, its sails furled neatly as the crew gathered on the deck, buzzing with anticipation. The officers had returned from scouting the town, and the air was thick with pent-up energy as the crew awaited the word to disembark. They had been confined to the ship for what felt like ages, their adventures thus far granting little time for indulgence. The thought of land, drinks, and debauchery lit a fire in their spirits that was impossible to suppress.

  Kaito stood near the mainmast, leaning casually against it with his trademark grin. His coat billowed slightly in the breeze, and his bright eyes scanned the restless crowd. He raised a hand, his voice booming as he called out to his crew.

  "All right, you animals!" Kaito shouted, the excitement in his voice matching that of his crew. "You've been cooped up for too long. Go, drink, fight, steal, get laid - whatever it is you do when you're not making my life miserable!"

  The deck erupted in cheers. Pirates grabbed their gear, some slinging swords over their backs, others already popping corks on bottles of rum as they prepared to storm the town like kids running into a candy store. Kaito chuckled at the sight, his pride in his chaotic crew obvious.

  "Remember your groups!" Yoruichi's sharp voice cut through the noise. She was perched in the rigging like a panther, her golden eyes scanning the throng below. "If I catch even one of you separated from your buddy, I'll make you clean the bathroom with your tongues!"

  The warning earned a mixture of groans and laughter, but everyone knew she wasn't bluffing. Blackjack, the youngest and most mischievous of the crew, paused at the railing, tilting his head curiously. "Would you really?" he asked, a sly grin forming on his face.

  Before anyone could respond, Duel's boot found its mark on his backside. With a sharp kick, she sent Blackjack tumbling off the side of the ship and into the water with a loud splash. "Nice!" Kaito exclaimed, grinning broadly as he gave Duel a thumbs-up.

  Duel crossed her arms, smirking, looking over the railing at a cursing Blackjack. She flipped Kaito off without missing a beat once she deigned to pay him any attention, getting laughs from the crew, then turned to ensure no other crewmates were trying to pull similar delaying tactics or jokes.

  "I have the best crew," Kaito said dreamily, watching her walk away, paying special attention to how her hips swayed that kaboose. He didn't even flinch as Wire smacked him in the back of the head, having already felt it coming.

  "Oi, fuck off. Focus on the real shit, Captain," Wire grumbled, jerking a thumb toward the town. "Like what the hell is up with that place?"

  Wire being a grump? Check, now their entire checklist for a new island have been completed, Kaito thought, turning around to face his quartermaster.

  Kaito rubbed his head, unaffected by Wire's irritation. "Not our problem, whatever it is," He said, shrugging lazily. "Doesn't seem to be malicious, so… No big deal."

  Wire's scowl deepened. "Yeah, and how fucking likely is it that it'll stay that way?"

  Yoruichi dropped down beside them, landing with the grace of a feline. She threw an arm around Wire's shoulders, her grin teasing. "Aww, don't worry, grumpy. I'll save you if the scary woman makes eyes at you!"

  Kaito burst into laughter at Wire's annoyed expression, while Yoruichi stuck her tongue out playfully. Wire sighed, his body dissolving into a flurry of pieces that swirled around Yoruichi before reforming behind her, breaking her hold.

  He'd really gotten used to using Buggy's fruit on their trip so far, that had been pretty smooth.

  "Tch. You're both taking this too easy," he muttered, sticking his hands in his pockets, scowling darkly.

  Before he could continue, Archer loomed behind him, his massive hands landing firmly on Wire's shoulders. "This is shore leave, Wire. Taking it easy is the whole point."

  Wire shrugged him off, glaring at Archer. "None of you find that fucking woman suspicious?"

  Kaito scratched his head, considering the question. "I mean, sure, she's weird. But why does that make it our problem? We're pirates, not heroes. As long as she doesn't mess with us…" He pumped his fist in the air. "Then we can just get drunk and enjoy ourselves!"

  Wire scoffed, turning on his heel. "Fine. Whatever. If something goes down, don't bother me. I warned you. Now I'm gonna get shitfaced with Duel and make bad decisions for the rest of the day."

  "Sounds like my kind of party!" Kaito called after him, grinning. "You're finally one of us!"

  "One of us!" Yoruichi and Archer chanted with shit eating grins, and Kaito had never been prouder. They really were learning from his genius leadership.

  Wire's mouth hovered in midair briefly, snapping out a retort. "You're not fucking invited." The disembodied words earned laughter from the crew as the rest of Wire's body had already floated away to join Duel - the mouth frowning in midair for another moment, before flying off to join the rest of his body.

  "I'm kicking his ass later," Kaito muttered, though his smile didn't fade. He was honestly thrilled with how quickly Wire was coming along in using his devil fruit.

  It kind of put into perspective how lazy Buggy had been, because Wire was practically at that level already and Buggy had pissed away what? A decade and a half?

  Yoruichi, still grinning, leapt onto Archer's back. "Piggyback ride to the nearest bar!" She declared, pointing dramatically toward the town. She turned to Kaito, a sly glint in her eyes. "Betcha I can drink more than you, Captain!"

  "Oh, you're so on!" Kaito exclaimed, vaulting over the ship's railing and landing on the dock with a flourish. Yoruichi cackled as Archer carried her down after him, and the three officers strode into the town together, their laughter echoing behind them.

  …

  Back on the ship, the remaining crew watched their departing comrades wistfully. A skeleton crew had been assigned to guard the Red Dawn, ensuring its safety while most of the pirates indulged in the town's offerings. Among those staying behind was Zoro, seated at the base of the mainmast with a jug of sake resting in his lap.

  The swordsman glanced around at the quiet deck, his lips curling into a small smirk. "Finally," He muttered, taking a long swig of the sake. The warmth spread through his chest, relaxing him more than he cared to admit. "Some peace and quiet."

  He loved the training, how strong he was getting from sparring with the captain, and the first mate. He even enjoyed showing how to use a sword to the grunts, it was… Nice.

  What he didn't enjoy - was now constantly rowdy it was, he was only able to fit in two naps a day so far. It was ridiculous.

  The sound of waves lapping against the hull and the gentle creak of the ship's timbers filled the air. Zoro closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the mast as the chaos of the crew grew distant. The faint echoes of laughter and music were muffled by the calm of the sea.

  This was exactly what he needed - a moment to himself. No rowdy crew, no meddling officers, and no overenthusiastic murder gremlins trying to show him knives. Just the sea, the sake, and the promise of battles to come.

  He would savor the stillness.

  Knowing his captain.

  It wouldn't last.

  The tavern was alive with energy, the Red Dawn crew having taken it over almost in its entirety, locals only hanging around to watch them in fascination. Tables were packed with rowdy pirates swapping stories, arm-wrestling, and toasting to their survival of the Grand Line storms. The air was thick with the scents of spilled ale, roasted meats, and the tang of sweat. The roar of laughter and shouting drowned out the scratchy tunes played by a pair of local musicians trying and failing to keep up with the chaos.

  Kaito leaned against the bar, his coat draped over the stool next to him. He held a tankard of ale in one hand, the other resting on the counter as he surveyed the madness with an amused grin. Apple and Blackjack were perched on the bar itself, arguing loudly about the 'proper' way to steal someone's drink. Ironically, while they did so, Nami and Carina stole their drinks, looking pretty smug, and already pretty tipsy.

  Archer was in his element, holding court at a long table piled high with food. He was surrounded by crewmates, all vying for a share of his cooking tips or an extra helping of whatever he'd managed to scrounge up from the tavern's kitchen.

  Because of course he'd found a way to 'relax' by taking over the owner's kitchen and working for free. Fucking weirdo.

  He kept looking around, and saw Nami and Carina return to where they'd been spending the evening, new drinks in hand, sitting down to loud cat calls and curses from those around them.

  There, Nami and Carina sat shoulder to shoulder, their heads bent close together as they whispered conspiratorially. A small pile of coins sat between them, evidence of a card game they'd been dominating since the moment they arrived. Every so often, Nami would let out a triumphant laugh as another opponent threw up their hands in defeat.

  "Think you've got it all figured out, huh?" A burly local challenged, his face flushed with drink as he slammed his cards down. "Let's see you try and cheat your way outta this hand!"

  Nami smirked, her fingers deftly flipping her own cards over. "I don't need to cheat to win," She said smugly, scooping up the pot. The local groaned, burying his face in his hands as the table erupted in cheers.

  Carina surreptitiously waved some cards at Kaito behind Nami's back, hidden in her sleeve, mouthing, 'But it sure helps!'.

  Meanwhile, Yoruichi was perched atop a barrel near the corner, a tankard in each hand and a growing audience of drunken pirates gathered around her. She was in the middle of regaling them with a story, her voice carrying over the din as she reenacted a particularly daring escapade against a pirate ship.

  "And then," She said, leaping onto her feet and balancing precariously on the barrel's edge, "I jumped straight off the mast, caught the rope mid-swing, pounced through the wall and landed right on their fancy captain's desk! The poor old man had a heart attack then and there, and died with one hand down his trousers!"

  She was already quite tipsy, her cheeks rosy as she continued to make up shit, because Kaito called bullshit. No way that happened!

  The crowd roared with laughter and applause, some of them banging their tankards against the tables in approval. Kaito watched with a grin, raising his own drink in a silent toast to his crew's ability to command the room. Even if they were all full of shit.

  On the far side of the tavern, Wire and Duel had claimed a booth near the fireplace. Wire had already downed enough ale to float a small ship, his devil fruit allowing him to separate his body parts and perform increasingly ridiculous drinking stunts. Duel, for her part, seemed content to watch the spectacle with a raised eyebrow, occasionally reaching out to smack a drunken crewmate who got too close to going over the line.

  Rubber bullets weren't lethal, but they sure hurt. Especially as Duel tended to go for a low shot against any crew member starting to cause trouble.

  Blackjack had already taken three shots tonight. Poor lad might not have balls left by the time they drop.

  Kaito wandered over, his curiosity piqued by the growing commotion around Wire's table. "What's going on here?" He asked, leaning down to grab a handful of nuts from the platter on the table.

  Duel smirked. "Wire. Freakshow," She said, gesturing to where Wire's floating head was currently spinning in circles above the table, his mouth wrapped around a tankard of ale.

  Kaito snorted, amused despite himself. "And how much has he had so far?"

  "Bar supply. Low soon," Duel said shortly, shaking her head, but a small amused quirk to her lips told Kaito she was having fun seeing Wire cutting loose.

  The attention in the room gradually shifted toward Wire, drawn by his antics. With a theatrical flourish, he sent his hands floating across the room to grab an entire casket of ale from behind the bar. The crowd erupted in cheers and whistles as the cask was hoisted into the air, Wire's head bobbing alongside it, his body sitting in the booth well away from the action.

  There had been some commotion early on about it - but by now no one cared - or was too drunk to care.

  "Ladies and gentlemen!" Wire announced, his voice slurring slightly but still loud enough to command the room's attention. "Behold the magic of the Chop Chop Fruit!"

  His hands tilted the cask, pouring a steady stream of ale directly into his open mouth. The room exploded into chaos as pirates and locals alike scrambled to get a better view.

  "Where the hell does it go!?" Someone shouted, their voice barely audible over the din.

  "That's not how bodies work!" Another added, their face a mix of confusion and awe as they looked between his chugging head and his body on the other side of the room.

  Wire's grin widened as he continued chugging, the ale disappearing into what seemed like thin air. His detached body remained slumped in the corner of the booth, one leg twitching slightly as if in response to the copious amount of alcohol being consumed.

  Kaito crossed his arms, a playful scowl forming on his face. "This is bullshit!" He called out, his voice cutting through the noise, playing devil's advocate just because. "How do we even know he's drinking it? For all we know, he's just dumping it into some kind of invisible pocket dimension!"

  Wire's laughter rang out, deep and raucous showing just how drunk he was. His head tilted slightly, a few drops of ale spilling from the corners of his mouth. "If you don't believe me," He slurred, "I'll happily piss out this cheap piss-water beer for your amusement. Right here, right now!"

  The crowd erupted into laughter, their initial confusion giving way to pure chaos. Someone in the back shouted, "Do it!" While another voice countered with, "Please don't!"

  Dice and Tears, who normally kept some control over Wire, had completely given up the ghost of even trying, sitting in their own corner and chugging away at their own drinks.

  Duel, shaking her head in exasperation, walked over, and reached out to smack Wire's floating head with the flat of her palm, making it spin around looking sickly. "Idiot," She said, though there was still a trace of a smile on her lips. From how rosy her own cheeks were - she'd had a few too.

  Kaito laughed so hard he nearly spilled his drink, doubling over as tears streamed down his face as Wire spun around, vomiting over a shocked group of locals due to Duels action. "You're lucky we like you, Wire," Je said between gasps for air. "Because you're officially the grossest person on this ship."

  "Love you too, Captain!" Wire replied, his head bobbing in an exaggerated nod as he managed to regain control, immediately grabbing another drink and tossing it towards his head. No doubt to wash the sick out of his mouth.

  Maybe they should keep Wire drunk all the time? He was remarkably more easy going, Kaito thought.

  As the night wore on, the energy in the tavern showed no signs of waning. Pirates danced on tables, their boots thudding against the wood as they spun each other around in clumsy, joyous circles. Blackjack managed to swipe a bottle of rum from behind the bar, only to have it promptly confiscated by Nami, who gave him a sharp flick on the forehead for his trouble.

  Not for drinking, because he'd already had a few. Being a pirate trumped being underage. No, she'd filched it because he'd gotten caught stealing it.

  Apple, emboldened by several drinks, climbed onto a chair and began belting out a sea shanty, her voice surprisingly strong despite her small stature. The crew quickly joined in, their voices rising in a boisterous chorus that made the tavern walls shake. At least they did until Nami swept her off the chair and took her away, Apple having started to improvise lyrics to fit Nami into each verse of the lewd shanty.

  Even the locals, initially wary of the pirates' presence, found themselves swept up in the revelry. A burly fisherman challenged Duel to an arm-wrestling match, only to find himself defeated in record time - which somehow only brought more challengers.

  The tavern was still alive with drunken revelry when the sharp crack of hands slamming against a wooden table rang out, silencing the nearby laughter. Nala, the fiery redheaded bartender with the eyepatch and unmistakable southern drawl, stood at the center of the commotion. Her hands were planted firmly on the table in front of Wire, who blinked up at her, clearly struggling to focus.

  "Well, now," Nala began, her voice dripping with a dangerous sort of charm. "Ah couldn't help but overhear someone runnin' their mouth 'bout my ale." She leaned closer, her good eye narrowing as she fixed Wire with a glare. "Now, see, sugar, that don't sit right with me. Ain't nobody badmouthin' the pride and joy of mah bar, not while ahm still breathin'."

  Wire, slouching back in his chair and clearly several drinks past coherent, waved a floating hand dismissively while his head swayed. "I didn't… hic… badmouth it," He slurred, trying to focus on her face and failing miserably. "I just said it was… y'know… A bit like horse piss."

  The room erupted in laughter, with pirates and locals alike slapping the table and pointing at Wire. Kaito eagerly leaned forward, expecting his quartermaster to eat a fist.

  Nala didn't flinch, though her lips pressed into a thin line. "Oh, is that what ya think, huh? Well, bless your heart, sugar. Ah reckon you wouldn't know good ale if it up and slapped ya in that floatin' head o' yours." She straightened, crossing her arms over her chest. "But since you seem so keen on provin' somethin', how 'bout we settle this the proper way?"

  Wire squinted up at her, his drunken brain struggling to comprehend. "Proper… What now?"

  "Arm wrestlin'," Nala said firmly, slamming one elbow onto the table and holding her hand out. "Right here, right now, for the honor of mah bar, you lose, yah clean it all up in the mornin'."

  The crew erupted into cheers, instantly forming a circle around the two. Kaito was the first to laugh, shaking his head. "Oh, this is gonna be good," He said, walking up and slapping Wire on the back. "Make us proud, buddy."

  "Our buddy's already too far gone to find her hand to start," Archer called out, his deep chuckle adding to the chaos.

  And sure enough, Wire's floating hands were flailing wildly in the air, trying and failing to find Nala's outstretched palm.

  "Here, help," Duel said dryly, grabbing one of Wire's hands and slapping it into Nala's, then grasping his arm and moving it back towards his hand, fusing them back together. "Embarrassing. Don't, lose." She said, punching his shoulder hard.

  "Cheating!" Kaito shouted, just for fun, pointing an accusatory finger at Nala. "He's so drunk he can barely see straight! How is this fair?"

  Nala arched an eyebrow, her lips curving into a sly smile. "Oh, honey, don't tell me the big, bad pirates are too chicken to own up to their words just 'cause of a little ol' drink." She drawled, her tone mocking.

  The crew roared with laughter, jostling each other as bets were placed on the outcome. "Wire's got this!" Someone shouted. "Nah, my money's on the fiery redhead!" Another countered.

  "I'd pay for that redhead!" One of their crewmen shouted, only to take three rubber bullets, one to the forehead, one to the gut. One… Lower.

  Duel twirled her non-lethal pistols, a raised eyebrow on her face as the crewman's sheepish mates helped him to the side. Kaito agreed, there was no need for that language. After all, Remnant had a whorehouse. If they wanted that, they could use the facilities and not bother other women.

  Wire still seemed determined to fight, accepting the wager, foolishly. Someone is going to be happy cleaning a whole tavern while hungover.

  Kaito finally gave up trying to help him, throwing his hands into the air. "Fine, fine! But you'd better not lose, Wire," He said, still laughing. "You're representing all of us right now."

  Wire grumbled something unintelligible, his face reddening as he tried to focus on the task at hand. "I got this," He slurred, tightening his grip around Nala's hand. "Just… Gimme a sec."

  The match started with a crack of tension, the two opponents straining against each other. For a moment, it seemed as though Wire might actually hold his ground - until Nala slammed his arm down in one fluid motion, the force rattling the entire table, Wire seemingly taking a moment to realize he was supposed to push back.

  The crowd erupted into howls of laughter, the pirates shouting over one another in gleeful disbelief or crying foul over losing their bets.

  "Two seconds! Not even two seconds!" Archer howled, pounding the table with one massive fist, laughing.

  Wire's face turned even redder as he struggled to sit upright, his head floating back into position. "I wasn't ready!" He protested loudly, his voice cracking with indignation. "Gimme a rematch!"

  Nala tilted her head, a sweetly mocking smile spreading across her face. "Oh, bless your lil' heart," She cooed, her tone dripping with faux sympathy. "It's real brave o' you to admit ya have trouble… Performin'. Or maybe…" Her good eye sparkled with mischief. "Maybe you're just a quick shot, huh?"

  The room collectively gasped, then erupted into a cacophony of shouts and laughter. "OHHHHHHH!" The crew roared in unison, some of them doubling over with laughter while others slapped Wire on the back.

  Wire blinked slowly, his drink-addled brain taking a full three seconds to process the insult. When realization finally hit, his eyes narrowed into a glare, and he slammed his arm back onto the table. "I'll make you eat those words!" He growled, though his slurred speech robbed the threat of any real menace.

  That and the fact he almost slammed his face into the table just trying to say them.

  "Whenever you're ready, sugar," Nala said sweetly, her voice as smooth as molasses. She casually placed her arm on the table again, her fingers wiggling playfully.

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  The second match was even quicker than the first. Before Wire could properly brace himself, Nala's arm shot forward, slamming his down with the same decisive force as before.

  The tavern erupted once again, the crew howling with laughter and mockery. Wire's face was a picture of stunned disbelief as he sat there, his floating head slowly tilting forward in defeat.

  "Clean-up duty tomorrow, sugar," Nala said with a wink, patting him on the shoulder as she stood. "Ah reckon ya might wanna sober up a bit first, though."

  The crowd parted as she sashayed away, her hips swaying with confidence as she returned to the bar to collect her winnings from the pile of bets.

  "Look at that ass…" Kaito said appreciatively, his gaze following her retreat, "Thicc."

  Without missing a beat, Duel, and Yoruichi, who had been chatting nearby, both reached out and smacked him on the back of the head.

  "It is a perfect specimen of booty," Another voice drawled, laced with a southern accent. A voice identical to the one who'd just walked away.

  Kaito blinked, his head snapping to the side. Standing next to him, dressed in a crisp tan suit and with an air of authority, was none other than Nala - the mayor. She looked identical to the bartender Nala, right down to the eyepatch, though her outfit and demeanor were markedly more official.

  Kaito stared at her, his brain struggling to catch up. "Ever hit that?" He asked before he could stop himself, earning another facepalm from Yoruichi as Duel burst out actually laughing in sheer shock at his gumption.

  The mayor's lips curved into a sly smile. She glanced over at the bar, where the other Nala was now serving drinks to a group of cheering pirates. "Sweetie," She said in a conspiratorial tone, "Everyone's hit that. She's ah bit of ah slut."

  Kaito's jaw dropped as he looked from one Nala to the other, his drunken brain spinning. "Alright," He said finally, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm confused. And aroused."

  The mayor patted his cheek patronizingly. "Well, sugar, you are male," She said with a shrug, before walking off to mingle with the other townsfolk.

  Kaito watched her go, his mind racing as the tavern's chaos resumed around him. "What the hell is going on in this town?" He muttered, though his grin never wavered. It was a weird little thing, but really none of their business.

  "Who cares, right? That's what you said!" Yoruichi said, clinking her tankard against his. "Drink up, Captain. Whatever this place is, it's our kind of crazy."

  The tavern's loud chaos had begun to settle into a low, drunken buzz when Mayor Nala approached Kaito and Yoruichi, her polished boots tapping lightly on the worn wooden floor. The crowd parted instinctively for her, her tan suit and commanding presence marking her as someone who didn't mingle aimlessly. Her sharp eye focused on Kaito, her gaze unwavering as she motioned toward a quieter corner of the room.

  "Captain," She said smoothly, her southern drawl cutting through the noise like a blade. "If ah might have a word?"

  Kaito, mid-swig of his drink, raised an eyebrow but stood, his grin ever-present. "Of course, mighty Mayor," He replied, bowing mockingly before following her to the secluded spot. Yoruichi trailed behind, her cat-like curiosity piqued as she flicked a glance toward Nala's sharp profile.

  The three of them settled into a corner booth. Nala leaned forward, her elbows resting on the table as she laced her fingers together.

  "Ah'll get straight to the point," She began, her voice low but firm. "This town could use a bit o' muscle, and from what ah've seen, y'all have that in spades. Ah'm willin' to pay, of course, but ah need some help dealin' with a… Situation."

  Kaito's grin widened as he sat back in his chair, arms crossing lazily over his chest. "A situation, huh? Sounds interesting. But let's talk about payment." He leaned forward, his voice dropping conspiratorially. "How about… A night with Nala?" His hand waved vaguely between the mayor and the bartender across the room. "And Nala."

  Mayor Nala didn't miss a beat. A sly smile curved her lips, and she drawled, "That can be arranged, sugah."

  Before Kaito could follow up, Yoruichi planted her hand squarely on his face, shoving him back into his seat. "No," She said flatly, turning her sharp gaze on the mayor. "The crew prefers money, not indulging this idiot's libido."

  Kaito pried her hand away, pouting dramatically. "Fine," He muttered, throwing a stage whisper toward Nala. "We'll talk later about the other thing."

  The mayor rolled her eyes but didn't address the comment. Instead, she straightened and tapped her fingers on the table. "As ah was sayin', Remnant's a mining town. That sandstorm out there? It's got our gem mines in it - mines full o' the finest gemstones you'll find in these parts. And they ain't just a one-time deal; those mines regenerate, always refillin'. It's what keeps this town runnin'."

  Yoruichi raised an eyebrow, skepticism clear in her voice. "If this town's sitting on a literal gem mine, it doesn't look that rich."

  Nala chuckled, a low, knowing sound. "We don't waste our coin on no fancy mansions or ostentatious nonsense. That just invites piracy." She gestured toward the room with a sweep of her hand. "Not the good kind either - ah mean the bad kind, not y'all. Y'all're the dumb party animal kind."

  Kaito grinned, tapping his tankard against the table. "Cheers to that."

  The mayor continued, her voice taking on a more serious tone. "Folks 'round here spend their money on necessities and keep it in-house. Extra is for the sex, drugs, and alcohol. Keeps us happy and safe."

  Kaito leaned toward Yoruichi with a gleam in his eye. "Can we just never leave this island? Sounds like paradise."

  Yoruichi snorted, crossing her arms. "We can't afford it on your thirst alone."

  "I have plenty of pull, and I'm not thirsty," Kaito protested indignantly.

  Mayor Nala cleared her throat pointedly, bringing them back to the matter at hand. "Unfortunately, we ain't been able to mine properly for a bit now. We've got a pirate problem."

  Kaito cocked his head curiously. "Pirates? Didn't see any in town."

  Nala nodded toward the swirling wall of sand visible through the tavern's windows. ""Sand pirates. Done figured out how to land on the storm side and make their attacks. They've taken over most of our sand skiffers, and they're likely plunderin' the mines as we speak. Ain't got the fighters to go in and clear 'em out, neither."

  Kaito's grin faltered as he processed the information. "Sand pirates…" He muttered, the gears in his head turning. "Okay, now I'm intrigued. But I gotta ask - " He gestured vaguely at the mayor. "What's up with, you know…" He waved at her. "The whole thing?"

  Yoruichi leaned forward, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I'd like to know too. Devil Fruit?"

  Nala's expression didn't change. "Ah have no idea what y'all're talkin' about."

  Just then, bartender Nala appeared at their table with a slice of pie, placing it in front of the mayor. "Here ya go, darlin'," the bartender said cheerfully, a smirk on her face.

  Mayor Nala smiled, leaning over to kiss the bartender on the cheek. "Thank ya kindly." She gave the bartender a playful swat on the backside, making her giggle and scurry off. "Yeah, you go on now with that fine-lookin' backside, missy!"

  Turning back to Kaito and Yoruichi, the mayor maintained her calm demeanor. "As ah was sayin', ah've got no idea what y'all're talkin' about."

  The two pirates stared at her deadpan, clearly unconvinced. Finally, Yoruichi sighed, brushing the matter aside. "Alright, moving on. Why should we care? We're pirates too. We could just take whatever we want if we needed it."

  Nala leaned back, her good eye glinting with amusement. "Ah recognize y'all's kind. Real pirates. Not like the losers squattin' in the sandstorm, makin' money and stayin' put. Y'all're gonna move on. Y'all're not gonna be stuck here."

  She leaned forward again, her voice dropping to a persuasive whisper. "Anything they've got? Y'all can have it. Likely a ship full o' valuable gems, at the very least. It's a good deal for both sides. We lose the gems for now, sure, but we don't have 'em right now anyway. And y'all get a quick payday before movin' on."

  Kaito leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin thoughtfully. He glanced at Yoruichi, who sat silently, her gaze steady as she waited for his decision. Despite her constant teasing, she respected his role as captain.

  After a moment, Kaito's grin returned, wider than ever. "We'll do it," He said firmly. "The money's good, sure, but honestly…"

  He leaned forward, his eyes alight with excitement. "I get to play sand pirate, hunting raiders in a sandstorm. I'd do this for free!"

  This was like some Mad Max shit, and he was all for it. He was not kidding. He'd have done this for free if Yoruichi wasn't right there, and liable to be an annoyance if he did.

  Nala chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. "Mighty kind o' ya," She drawled. "The sheriff'll be joinin' ya, just to make sure y'all've got a local guide, o' course, dunno if y'all met, quirky lady named Nala..." Her grin turned positively wicked.

  Kaito's own grin only widened at the prospect. "Let's do this!"

  Grand Line, in transit to Marineford.

  The marine flagship cut through the Grand Line's turbulent waters, a towering fortress of justice against the chaotic sea. The deck buzzed with activity as marines hurried to and fro, ensuring every task was performed with military precision. Above them, Garp stood at the ship's stern near a large blackboard filled with scribbles, and a drawing of a monkey for some reason, a broad grin plastered across his weathered face.

  The shadow of his ever-present right-hand man, Bogart, loomed beside him. Dressed immaculately in his suit and hat, Bogart's expression was one of tired resignation, the subtle lines in his face betraying the patience of a saint. Garp had already been going since 4am after all.

  Seated before them were two starkly different individuals. Tashigi, her glasses gleaming in the sunlight, perched at the edge of her chair with a notebook clutched tightly in her hands. Determination lit up her features as she awaited pearls of wisdom from the legendary Marine hero. Beside her sat Ace, slumped and wrapped entirely in seastone chains. Only his head was free, and his disheveled black hair cast shadows over his sulking face as he resolutely avoided looking at Garp.

  The fact he felt weak as hell and like shit covered in this much sea stone, also assisted in making him one grumpy young man.

  "There are a few things that make a perfect marine," Garp began, slamming a meaty hand on the blackboard for emphasis. "Things I will teach you today, to set the foundation for the next generation of heroes you'll become!"

  Ace, his lips curling into a sneer, muttered under his breath, "Not gonna be a marine, shitty gramps."

  Before the words even fully escaped his mouth, Garp's fist shot out faster than a cannonball. The force of the punch sent Ace flying off the ship and into the roaring sea with a comical screech. He hit the water with a resounding splash, chains and all.

  Garp, still holding the pose of a perfect punch, let out a huff and straightened up, his expression nonchalant. "Bogart."

  "On it, sir." Without so much as a sigh, Bogart moved with calm efficiency, disappearing from sight in a blur. Moments later, a soaking wet Ace was hoisted back onto the deck and dropped unceremoniously back into his chair. He glared daggers at his grandfather, water dripping from his hair.

  "Now, as I was sayin'," Garp continued, ignoring Ace's sulking and Tashigi's wide-eyed stare, "These few rules of mine are the core tenets you need to follow if you wanna be a Marine worth a damn!"

  He slapped the blackboard again, this time smashing it into splinters. The sound of destruction echoed across the deck. Tashigi raised a tentative hand, her glasses sliding slightly down her nose. "Uh, Sir?"

  "Yes, glasses girl?" Garp said, turning to her with his usual exuberant grin.

  "You… um… you destroyed the blackboard when you slapped it," She pointed out timidly, her voice wavering. "We never got to go through what it said…"

  Garp blinked and turned to survey the mess he'd made. "Hah!" He barked a laugh and scratched the back of his head. "That just proves the first rule: BE STRONG!" He flexed his biceps for emphasis, the sight making several marines pause in awe.

  At least from Garps point of view…

  "Bogart, bring me another blackboard, for JUSTICE!"

  Bogart pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sir, we've gone through ten blackboards already this morning. We're out of replacements."

  Tashigi dutifully scribbled down Rule #1: Be Strong in her notebook. She stared at the words, hoping for a deeper meaning to emerge, but nothing beyond the obvious came to her. Meanwhile, Ace let out a groan and banged his head against his desk.

  "Alright then," Garp declared, puffing out his chest. "I'll just tell you!" He jabbed a finger toward the horizon. "Rule number one: Only listen to proper orders!"

  Ace lifted his head slightly, confusion and frustration warring on his face. "Wait… Wasn't 'Be Strong' rule one?"

  It was bad enough he had to listen to this shit, his gramps could at least try to be consistent with the nonsense!

  Tashigi tilted her head, muttering to herself as she wrote. "Another rule one?"

  "Exactly!" Garp said as though it made perfect sense. He began pacing, his hands clasped behind his back. "Now, proper orders are all about interpretation. Let me give you an example!" He waved a hand dramatically. "It's like when I'm in a meeting with Senny, and he says, 'Garp, no matter what, DO NOT go to the Royal Kingdom of Morrissey. Do you understand me?'" Garp chuckled, mimicking Sengoku's stern voice. 'I have a mission for you in the West Blue instead, and you're NOT allowed to meddle, AT ALL, you've been banned from there forever. Is that understood?'"

  Ace stared at him in disbelief. "And let me guess… You went to Morrissey." And this was the guy that had captured him…

  "Of course I did!" Garp roared, pounding his chest. "Why else would he put such emphasis on it? I knew what he really meant - that I was the perfect man for the job!" He pointed at them, "This is a skill you must learn!"

  Tashigi's pen hovered over her notebook as she tried to figure out how to phrase this 'rule'.

  "Sir," Bogart interjected, his voice carrying a note of exasperation and fondness. "You were banned from Marineford for six months because of that incident."

  Garp waved him off with a hearty laugh. "That was just Sengoku's way of thanking me for a job well done. A vacation, really!"

  Ace let out a strangled scream and slammed his head into the desk repeatedly. The thudding sound was loud enough to make Tashigi wince.

  Garp's jovial expression darkened, his fist clenching as it turned black with Armament Haki. "If you're not going to listen, I'll just move on to the 'Be Strong' rule!"

  In an instant, both Tashigi and Ace were launched into the air, propelled by Garp's mighty punch. As they flew, Tashigi twisted mid-air to plant a swift kick between Ace's legs, "Stop making everything more crazy! I didn't even do anything you stupid boy!" She screamed at the annoyed looking boy. The boy let out a muffled yell, "You're blaming ME!?" Before they both hit the water with twin splashes.

  Back on the ship, Garp folded his arms and let out a nostalgic sigh. "They'll make excellent marines someday," He said, his tone filled with pride. "Already so lively."

  Bogart raised an eyebrow but said nothing, his stoic demeanor barely masking his exhaustion. The marines on deck continued their duties, pretending not to notice the absurdity unfolding before them as two dripping figures were dragged back onto the ship.

  Especially as they were soon sent flying again. And again.

  Remnant Island.

  The Red Dawn Pirates were in no condition to do anything remotely heroic - or piratical - right away. The tavern revelry had turned into a debauched disaster. Nami and Apple had found their usual corner for necking, oblivious to the chaos around them. Wire had drunk himself into oblivion, slumped over a table with Tears and Dice passed out beside him, having failed miserably at keeping up with him.

  Carina had disappeared with a local, and was either having a lot of fun. Or robbing the fool. He gave it fifty/fifty odds.

  Even Archer, the crew's dependable cook and bastion of discipline, ended up sitting cross-legged on the floor, swaying slightly as if meditating, though Kaito could tell by the lopsided grin on his face that he was more out of it than anyone else, and was faking it.

  "Guess it's a tomorrow problem," Kaito muttered, stepping over Blackjack, who was snoring with his face in an empty rum barrel. The kid was going to enjoy his hangover tomorrow.

  By morning, the Red Dawn ship was a floating hangover. Crew members groaned and stumbled about, clutching their heads as Kaito called a meeting on deck to explain the situation. The sun was too bright, the air too loud, and no one could focus for longer than a minute.

  The group that assembled looked more like prisoners of war than pirates. Nami had a scarf wrapped around her head, shielding her eyes from the glare of the sun, while Apple leaned heavily against her, looking thoroughly disheveled. Wire had managed to drag himself upright but had the unmistakable glaze of someone regretting every decision that led him to this point. Even Archer, normally steady and bright-eyed, leaned against the mast with his arms crossed, swaying slightly as though the deck were pitching beneath him.

  Carina seemed fine, and smug as hell. Which didn't really clarify if she'd gotten laid, or robbed someone.

  Zoro somehow looked the most attentive and put together out of all of them, despite the fact they'd found two dozen empty jugs around his sleeping person when they'd returned to the ship.

  Ultimately, it had been decided that most of the crew would remain on the ship or in town. Kaito didn't anticipate too much trouble, and the fewer liabilities in the sandstorm, the better.

  Seeing the state of his crew. It would definitely be the right choice.

  Kaito, of course, seemed immune to it all, somehow feeling fine, grinning like a man who hadn't spent the previous night encouraging his crew to drink themselves into oblivion. He clapped his hands together, drawing groans of protest from the crew.

  "Alright, listen up, you magnificent bastards," He began, his voice far too cheerful for the situation. "We've got ourselves a little adventure on our hands."

  "Can't it wait?" Wire mumbled, massaging his temples. "Like… A fucking month?"

  Kaito laughed. "Nope! Sheriff Nala and Mayor Nala need our help clearing out some sand pirates. Think of it as a little warm-up for the real troubles on the Grand Line."

  "You're the only one who cares." Nami muttered, her voice muffled by her scarf.

  Kaito ignored her. "The good news is, most of you don't have to do anything. Me, Yoruichi, Archer, and Zoro will handle it. The rest of you? Keep the ship secure. Maybe try not to burn the town down while we're gone."

  There were half-hearted cheers and a smattering of applause before the crew shuffled back to their hammocks or leaned against the railing, clearly uninterested in further participation.

  Yoruichi sighed, as she shot Kaito a wary look. "This better not be one of those 'Oops, we almost died' kind of adventures."

  Kaito grinned. "Where's the fun in safe? A little danger is the spice of life."

  …

  When the team disembarked, the streets of Remnant were quiet and bathed in the golden light of morning. The sandstorm raged far in the distance, a swirling wall of chaos that seemed to breathe and writhe with a life of its own. Sheriff Nala was waiting for them just beyond the dock, leaning casually against a wooden post wearing a leather half jacket with only a sports bra underneath, and a pair of faded jeans - not exactly an official looking uniform. She had a strip of jerky in one hand and her six-shooter in the other, spinning it lazily as her one eye watched them approach.

  "Well, ain't this a sight," She drawled, her voice dripping with amusement. "Y'all look about as lively as a herd of turtles."

  Yoruichi raised an eyebrow, her eyes a little bloodshot. "I assume you mean us and not Captain Sunshine over here?" She gestured toward Kaito, who was practically bouncing on his heels with excitement.

  Nala smirked, tearing a small bite from her jerky and chewing slowly. "He's a whole other kinda critter, ain't he?" She drawled, her voice carrying the lazy rhythm of a southern breeze. Her gaze swept over the group, finally landing on Zoro with a spark of interest. "And you. You the quiet type, huh? Betcha you're all bite an' no useless bark in the sack, ain'tcha?"

  Zoro shrugged, muttering something under his breath, not seeming to care much either way, having lost interest the moment he saw a gun instead of a sword.

  Nala motioned for them to follow, leading the group into town. The streets of Remnant were bustling with early morning activity. Unlike Loguetown and it's bustling space, here only a few vendors set up stalls along the main thoroughfare, hawking fresh fish or quick grilled meals on the go. The scent of roasting meat wafted through the air, mingling with the salty tang of the sea breeze. Townsfolk moved with purpose, their clothes practical and their weapons visible - proof of the harsher conditions of the Grand Line.

  No matter who you were here, you carried something at least on you. Because a pirate attack was always a possibility. And counting on marine aid was usually a pointless endeavor unless you literally had a base on your island.

  Archer's stomach growled audibly as they passed a food stall selling skewers of grilled fish. "So, what's the local cuisine like?" He asked, falling into step beside Nala. "Anything we should try before heading out?"

  Kaito gave him a weird look, had he been so busy cooking, drinking and trading his own recipes last night that he hadn't asked that question to the owner of a place that sold food?

  If it had been Yoruichi, he would have thought she was fishing for inconsistencies, but Archer? Maybe he'd underestimated his buddy.

  Nala gave him a sidelong glance, her smirk never fading. "Mostly seafood, o'course," Nala drawled. "An' meat when we can wrangle it, though that's comin' off them big ol' sandworms."

  Kaito's ears perked up. "Sandworms? How big are we talking?"

  Oh boy, this was just getting better and better!

  Nala chuckled dryly, tearing off another bite of jerky. "Big enough that yer ship'd look like nothin' more'n a baby next to one, sugah."

  Yoruichi swore under her breath, shivering. "I don't want to see any worms, and if we do, Archer, you're on your own if you want to cook one." She said, pointing at him.

  "Noted," Archer replied cheerfully. "But imagine the flavors." He looked around, trying to spot a stall that sold the meat. "If they're all using it, must mean it is fairly tasty, no?"

  "Or they have nothing else." Zoro said lackadaisically.

  "I'm not eating anything that looks like a giant wriggling nightmare," Yoruichi muttered, glaring at the cook.

  Kaito grinned, his enthusiasm undeterred. "This is awesome! Why don't they come into town?" He asked Nala. This Nala. Sheriff Nala… How did people in town not get confused?

  "Town's 'bout the only spot on this whole island where the ground's solid rock an' proper soil all the way though that they can't dig through," Nala drawled, her hand gesturing lazily at the sturdy streets underfoot. "Out yonder? It's all sand, nothin' but worm territory, less'n ya dig deep down into the mines."

  "And in the mines?" Yoruichi asked, her voice laced with suspicion.

  Nala's smirk turned downright wicked. "If ya come across a worm down in the mines, an' it happens now an' again… Well, we just pack up an' start diggin' in a diff'rent mine till it decides to mosey on."

  "And the miners?" Yoruichi pressed, her eyes narrowing.

  Kaito already had a feeling where this was going.

  Nala shrugged, unfazed. "If they're lucky, that ol' worm'll chomp 'em down real quick-like," Nala drawled, her tone as casual as if she were talking about the weather.

  "This is so awesome!" Kaito yelled, practically bouncing on his heels. "This is exactly the kind of adventure I live for!"

  Yeah, sure, sucks for the miners or whatever. He didn't care about the death of some randos. But not only did they get to do some Mad Max desert shit, they were going to do some real Lara Croft tomb raider shit too! Best new life ever!

  He hoped they had other things other than giant death worms!

  Nala glanced at him, unimpressed. "He's one'a them types, huh? All swagger, no saddle." She cocked her head, asking Yoruichi, "All cock, no brains." She added, in case they hadn't understood her the first time.

  Yoruichi burst into laughter, clapping Kaito on the back. "She's got you dead to rights, Captain."

  Kaito rolled his eyes but didn't argue, having all cock was a compliment as far as he was concerned. Before the conversation could devolve further, Nala stopped outside a small storefront with faded lettering that read Nala's Outfitters.

  "Git on in there an' get yerselves outfitted," She drawled, jerking her thumb toward the door. "Ain't no way y'all can head into that sandstorm like ya are -'less ya fancy losin' all yer skin."

  "And you?" Archer asked curious.

  "Got mah own." She shrugged, jerking a thumb in the direction of their transport.

  …

  The interior of the store smelled of leather and oil, the walls lined with racks of heavy garments and equipment. Behind the counter stood yet another Nala - or at least, a woman identical to the Sheriff, save for her multiple piercings and full leather ensemble. She leaned against the counter, eyeing them with a critical gaze.

  "Well, don't y'all clean up nice," She drawled, clicking her teeth together. "Big 'uns, huh? Get in there." She gestured toward the changing rooms with a casual flick of her hand looking over Kaito and Archer who were both taller than the average man. "I'll need to adjust some things. We don't grow 'em that big 'round here."

  Then she turned her sharp gaze on Yoruichi, her lips curving into a smoldering smile. "You, darlin' - you're somethin' else. I'll handle ya myself. Gotta take yer measurements real… thorough-like."

  Yoruichi arched an eyebrow but didn't protest as what Kaito dubbed Leatherworker Nala - approached with a measuring tape, her smile both predatory and playful. Kaito snickered from the other side of the room.

  Their own gearing up was fairly quick as Nala adjusted things with deft hands, just ensuring their gear would be big enough to fit in.

  From the squeals and protests from Yoruichi's changing room as Archer and Kaito waited for her to finish.for quite some time - this Nala was extremely thorough in getting measurements from her.

  Archer looked very uncomfortable.

  Kaito couldn't stop laughing at him as he winced at every squeal from his pseudo- daughter or younger sister or whatever their relationship was.

  Zoro, not surprisingly, just napped in the corner, his own outfitting standard and therefore done without even needing Nala's assistance.

  Kaito was pretty sure Zoro only had three thoughts in that thick head, swords, alcohol, sleep.

  Eventually, Yoruichi finally stepped out, pointing at them all, "Not a word!" She said threateningly.

  Nala slapped her ass, making Yoruichi squeal again as the leatherworker moved around her. "Come again, darlin'." She waved her off with a smug smirk on her face.

  …

  By the time they emerged, they were clad head-to-toe in desert gear. Tan overalls covered them from neck to ankle, wearing thick boots with magnetic clamps designed to grip the sand skiff firmly if there was turbulence, and helmets with goggles and cloth masks that completely concealed their faces, a breathing filter handling the air intake.

  "I don't know about you guys," Kaito said, striking a dramatic pose, "But I make this look good."

  Yoruichi snorted. "It's a full-body overall and a face cover."

  "I stand by my statement."

  Zoro tugged at the collar of his suit, grumbling. "This is too thick. It's gonna slow me down."

  "Don't worry," Kaito said, patting him on the back. "You'll get to cut stuff soon. That'll cheer you up."

  He'd meant it as a joke.

  But Zoro did immediately get a much brighter body language.

  …

  Sheriff Nala led them to the outskirts of town, where the sandstorm roared like a living beast just beyond the last sturdy buildings. There, parked at the edge of the storm, was their ride - what they called a sand skiffer.

  The vehicle looked like something out of Star Wars almost. It resembled a miniature Jawa sandcrawler, its bulked-out hull designed to withstand the harsh conditions of the storm. The deck was lined with harpoons and grappling hooks, with a raised cockpit at the front, and storage area for the miners to travel in, under the deck.

  Kaito froze, staring at the skiffer with wide eyes and a look of pure wonder. "I love my life," He whispered reverently, stars practically shining in his gaze. It's almost like getting in a REAL sandcrawler!

  Yoruichi sighed. "Here we go…"

  "Is this a normal thing?" Zoro asked, as Kaito fell to his knees, raising his hands in thanks.

  Archer grinned and nodded, before addressing Kaito. "Ready for this, Captain?"

  Kaito's grin turned feral. "Oh, I've been ready my whole life."

  Desert pirate is a go!

  The sandstorm engulfed the sand skiff entirely, its howling winds battering the reinforced hull and creating an endless cacophony of noise. Grit and sand scraped against the windows like the claws of a desperate beast, and beyond the reinforced glass, visibility was nonexistent. The storm was a roiling sea of shifting sand, utterly impenetrable to the naked eye.

  You couldn't even see a foot forward, it was entirely blinding, and they were now absolutely sure that walking into this sandstorm was suicide.

  Inside the skiff, the atmosphere was tinged with curiosity. The interior was a patchwork of rugged, utilitarian design. Walls of reinforced metal were bolted down with heavy rivets, every surface scuffed and worn from years of service. The cockpit was situated at the front, with a wraparound dashboard of blinking lights and dials that seemed more decorative than functional. Crates of supplies were stacked haphazardly in the corners, some strapped down and others left to roll slightly with the motion of the skiff.

  Kaito stood near one of the wide windows, his nose almost pressed against the glass as he tried to make out anything beyond the swirling sands. "This thing doesn't even have sails. Why call it a skiff?" He grumbled. "It's not sleek, it's not nimble - it's a sandcrawler! Just admit it!"

  "Is he going to do this for much longer?" Zoro grumbled, sitting on a box.

  "You have no idea." Yoruichi sighed.

  Nala, perched lazily in the command chair with her boots kicked up on the console, smirked at Kaito. She held a piece of jerky in her hand again, chewing on it leisurely as she tilted her head. Girl liked her beef. "Sugah, it's called a skiff 'cause that's just what we call it. Don't gotta make no sense - it works, don't it? Just words anyhow. Sometimes there just ain't no need to make things all fancy-like."

  She glanced out the window, looking bored. "Don't matter none what we call it, long as it sails 'cross the island. That's all that counts, darlin'."

  Kaito opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, Zoro chimed in with a nod, his tone serious. "She's right. But sometimes islands aren't where you left them, either. Tricky things, their names change so easily too, we'll have to keep an eye out for that."

  The entire group turned to Zoro, their expressions ranging from confusion to exasperation. Yoruichi opened her mouth to say something, then promptly shook her head and gestured for Nala to continue. "Nope, not dealing with that one today. Moving on."

  Nala just shook her head amused, not saying anything else, studying Zoro.

  Yoruichi leaned against the metal wall, her fingers tapping a rhythmic beat. "So, wait a second. Are you telling me we're not even steering this thing? We're just letting it… What, autopilot us into a pirate-infested mine?"

  Nala shrugged, crossing her hands behind her head and leaning back farther. The chair creaked ominously but held steady. "Yup. Got some presets - mines, outposts, and a few other spots worth a look. That's 'bout it. Ain't like this here island up and moves or nothin'." She gave Zoro a teasing look at that.

  Yoruichi gestured wildly at the windshield, where nothing was visible beyond the whirling sands. "And what happens if a worm attacks us? How are we supposed to harpoon something we can't even see?"

  Archer clapped her on the back, grinning as if they weren't speeding through a deathtrap field. "Relax, Yoru. If we run into a worm, I'll take care of it. Always wanted to cook something this exotic."

  Nala laughed, a slow, amused drawl that filled the space. "Sweetie, if a worm shows up, you'll know 'cause it'll be chompin' down on us. Don't gotta aim much when the beast is already takin' a bite outta your ride."

  Yoruichi's groaned, her hands clenching in agitation. "So comforting. Thanks." She crossed her arms and turned to glare out the window as though she might spot danger despite the storm.

  Zoro, who had also turned to look out into the storm, rested a hand on one of his swords and leaned forward slightly. "How tough is their skin?" His tone was calm but eager, his fingers brushing the hilt of his blade as if preparing for action.

  "Fairly squidgy," Nala answered, her eye half-closed. "Thing is, their important parts're always shiftin' 'round. Gotta figure out where that dang brain's hidin'. Could be anywhere in the whole blasted critter."

  "Not the heart?" Archer asked, his tone genuinely curious.

  "Nope." Nala took another bite of her jerky and chewed thoughtfully. "Worms've got a dozen hearts or so, sugah. Sometimes less. Never seen more than twelve, though. Makes 'em a pain in the ass to kill."

  Kaito grinned, turning to Zoro with an expression that could only be described as gleeful. "This is gonna be amazing! Zoro, picture this - we lure one up to the surface, rile it up with a few good hits, then ride it through the storm. Like, imagine surfing, but way cooler!"

  Sure the sand would be a problem, but it was a man's romance! Small issues like sandpaper air taking your skin off could be worked around with Iron Body!

  Zoro nodded, already imagining the challenge. "As long as I get to cut it after."

  Nala glanced between the two of them, shaking her head with a faint smirk. "It's always the cute ones that're dumb as a sack o' rocks," She muttered.

  "I heard that!" Kaito said, though he didn't seem the least bit offended, after all, she'd called him cute.

  Although he'd have preferred manly.

  Archer stepped forward, his voice bringing the conversation back to the task at hand. "So, the mine we're heading to… That's where the sand pirates have set up shop?"

  Nala shrugged, leaning back again and kicking her feet idly. "Reckon they might've moved on, or maybe they're worm chow by now. Hard tellin', not knowin'."

  Yoruichi scowled, her tail lashing again. "How many pirates are we dealing with here, exactly?"

  "Used to have us 'bout twenty skiffs," Nala drawled, waving a hand lazy-like at the vehicle. "Now we're down to two. Y'all can do the math, darlin'."

  Archer's sharp gaze swept the interior of the skiff towards the hatch to the passenger compartment. "You can fit at least fifty people in one of these things. Maybe more if they're packed tight."

  "Reckon that's 'bout right," Nala said with a lazy nod.

  Yoruichi's eyes narrowed as she turned to Kaito. "Did you sell us cheap again? What kind of deal did you make with death worms and hidden dangers?"

  Archer raised an eyebrow at her. "You were there when they negotiated it. Maybe don't pin it all on the captain." He poked at her whining with an amused look.

  Nala chuckled, clearly enjoying their bickering. "Now, now," She drawled. "If y'all didn't haggle better, that's on you. Wasn't me settin' the terms."

  Kaito and Zoro, meanwhile, had wandered to the other side of the skiff, where they were deeply engrossed in their own conversation. When they returned, their expressions were a mix of determination and excitement.

  "We've agreed," Kaito announced, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest like a victorious general. "We need to fight at least two worms. Anything less wouldn't be fair."

  Yoruichi groaned audibly, dragging a hand down her face. "Are we there yet?" She muttered, her voice heavy with resignation.

  Nala chuckled, kicking her feet off the console and leaning forward for the first time. "Ain't yet, sugah. But don't y'all worry - yer worms'll come soon enough."