I stretched out, savouring the fact I was in my own bed on Earth with no pressing matters that needed my attention. Since Jenny removed the unnecessary parts of the Christmas patch, we’d decided to take an end of year break while Jenny got used to her Earth body and took some time playing around with new concepts like physics, flavours, and Netflix. It left me with something I hadn’t experience in years – an actual holiday. Not just a retreat for a few days, but a proper honest-to-goodness holiday.

  A knock on the door disturbed by spine-popping stretches, and I sat up to greet Bastion as he slid inside my room.

  “Is now a good time?” he asked, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “I just… need you to myself for a bit. I’ve been reading up on some human holidays since the whole Christmas thing and… ugh. Wait a minute…”

  He pulled the ‘do not disturb’ door hanger off my desk and hung it over the knob, shutting the door behind him with a snap and perching himself on the edge of my bed.

  “What is it?” I pulled his hand into mine and held it softly, running my thumb over his knuckles. “Did you get creeped out by Halloween or something?”

  “That weird costume day? No… I…” he paused, eyes trained on my thumb where it was stroking lazy circles on his skin. “I was reading about New Years. And the practice of making resolutions.”

  “You want to make some?” I asked, perking up.

  “It got me thinking about what it is I want to change about myself. The things I don’t like.”

  My thumb stilled, but I continued holding his hand. His pulse beat strong and hard under my touch, and I saw him wrestling with his words.

  “I’m not good at this, Em. The talking stuff.”

  “It’s okay,” I said in my best soothing tone. “There’s no time limit. You can take all the time you need, and I’ll be here to listen as you sort it out.”

  “We might be here years,” Bastion laughed, running a hand through his short hair. He hated that about his human form – that Jenny had accidentally cropped out his long elven locks, but I didn’t mind it so much. With or without his hair, he was still Bastion.

  “Seeing the Krampus change – and Jenny for that matter – it’s made me think about how much I still struggle with my basic programming. How much I’m fighting all these subconscious tendencies and urges that were based on my back story – who I’ve been, rather than who I want to be.”

  I nodded, waiting for him to continue. It had been an ongoing battle for him, being written as heartbroken by Lily – who had never truly loved him and who he’d never truly loved in return – or shifting from an alcoholic who persistently ended up in bar fights to a recovered alcoholic who finally had more autonomy over his choices.

  “And I was looking up toxic masculinity, since you mentioned it as well.”

  I squeezed his hand tight. “I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings with that – I didn’t mean the whole scope of what’s online about it, just that… you can be a bit competitive with silly things, you know?”

  His jaw clenched. “I know.”

  “Bast, I love you for who you are. You know that, right? Complex conflicts and all.”

  His expression softened slightly, and he shifted to sit next to me, leaning up against the headboard.

  “I know.”

  He took another minute or so to gather his thoughts, but I didn’t rush him, content to just sit with him and give him whatever support he needed.

  “I was thinking about how Dave went mad as well. After changing his stats. How you can’t be a 20/20 strength kinda guy unless you’re also the kind of guy who likes working out or fighting. And you can’t have a natural high intelligence stat unless you’re a nerd like Nightfall.”

  My heart clenched. I still felt terrible about what I’d done to Dave. At the time, the choice had seemed easy – I was trying to save Bastion, and he was in the way – but in hindsight I’d thought of about a thousand other things I could have done. Should have done.

  “It’s been hard for me, I think, having Brick as a brother. His stats are so much higher than mine whenever it counted. The only things I outstrip him on are dexterity and magic, although my magic isn’t even that high either,” he sighed heavily. “And with him being half-orc… visibly an orc… he’d always been expendable brawn to any team we’ve fought with. He’d been the only family I had, and I’ve always wanted to be right in the fray with him. It’s in the backstory James wrote for me, but it’s also what I genuinely feel.”

  I stared at him in surprise, more at his self-awareness than anything. Bastion had always had a stubborn streak a mile wide and had usually shied away from vulnerability or introspection.

  “I… had noticed that you don’t seem to use your bow much. You’re always right in there with your short sword.”

  “About that…” Bastion gave me a hesitant look. “I’ve been lying to you about something.”

  My jaw dropped. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn’t this.

  “What is it?”

  Bastion scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “You know how Jackal usually tells people he’s a human rather than a minotaur-merman to avoid questions? And how Nightfall usually dresses like a mage, and avoids revealing he’s a rogue unless he has to do something directly related to it?”

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  “Yes…” I said, waiting for him to elaborate.

  “Well… I’m not a warrior class,” Bastion admitted. “It’s not something people can… you know, see easily unless you get into the right menu. But it… it allowed me to always be placed with Brick, so I could fight by his side, back when we were doing more missions and stuff, and then it’s always been a big part of my identity so I just… Look, I’m sorry I never told you the truth, okay?”

  I stared at him, speechless for a good minute.

  “Did you… think I would care what class you were?”

  Bastion gave me a long, careful look.

  “No… Well, maybe. It’s a lie I’ve been living with a long time. Here.”

  He pulled a piece of folded paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.

  “This is who I am.”

  I glanced at the folded square of paper containing the stats I’d never cared to look at. It had always felt like an unnecessary invasion of privacy to go digging into other peoples’ code. I hadn’t looked at Bastion’s since we’d fixed his alcoholism status back at Necromancer Heights.

  “This isn’t you,” I said softly, leaving the crinkled square of paper folded. “You are you.”

  “Please read it,” Bastion said, pushing the paper closer to me. “I… I want you to see it. I don’t want to be ashamed of it anymore.”

  I unfolded the paper and held it in my lap, but my eyes remained trained on his face.

  “This won’t change how I feel about you.”

  “I know,” he said, a small smile pulling at his lips. “Please, Emma. Read it.”

  I lowered my eyes to the page.

  Bastion

  Class: Archer

  Race: Wood Elf

  Abilities: Long Sight

  Intelligence: 6

  Charisma: 5

  Stamina: 15

  Strength: 10

  Magic: 7

  Dexterity: 15

  “You’re an archer?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

  Bastion sighed. “It means in a balanced team, I’m supposed to keep in the back and stay out of the action. It means I’ve got a natural affinity with ranged weapons, although I haven’t actually levelled up those abilities since I’ve always resented the role. Its always felt cowardly to me.”

  “You’re anything but cowardly, Bast.”

  He traced a finger down the length of my wrist.

  “My long sight ability is also an archer thing. It… allows me to see things that are far away with as much clarity as though they’re within arm’s reach. It makes aiming a lot easier, of course, but it makes some things harder as well.”

  “Like what?”

  “When I was struggling with my feelings for you,” he said, leaning in so close to me I could feel his breath on my cheek. “Every time I looked at you, I saw everything. I longed for you so much, felt like I could reach out and touch you, but it was also a reminder of what seemed unattainable to me at the time. How wide the distance between us truly stretched, even though it felt as though it should be nothing at all.”

  I dropped the paper on the bed sheets next to me and turned to pull him into my arms. Bastion had struggled so much with his feelings when we were still getting to know each other, his previous experience with a succubus girlfriend leaving him unsure how much of his draw to me was his own and how much was my passive abilities affecting him.

  “It was hell, having you so close, noticing everything about you and having the constant reminder of how I couldn’t touch you.”

  “You can touch me all you want, now,” I reminded him, catching his lips in a kiss.

  He chuckled against my mouth, plunging his tongue through the slit of my lips and returning my kiss with vigorous enthusiasm.

  “I plan to,” he said, his tone taking on once again the cocky lilt that always made my heart race. “But I want to finish this first. My admission.”

  “I don’t care that you’re an archer,” I promised him. “I never cared if you were a warrior or not.”

  “I know,” Bastion smiled then, planting another kiss on my shoulder. “But they’re still things I have to say. I want you to know every part of who I am, and who I want to be.”

  “Tell me then.”

  “I’ve decided I want to embrace my archer class,” he said. “I always felt like I needed to be in the fray to fight side by side with Brick, but I feel like I’ve grown… I’ve come to rely more on the other guys to watch his back. And you’re part of our party too. I’m not used to having a healer around, but… this whole adventure with the Krampus has shown me that my willingness to jump in and fight isn’t always what’s needed. That when you come at things with your unique approach, you might actually find me more useful if I trained my other abilities. I want to be useful, Em.”

  I tried to turn to look in his eyes again, but he tightened his grip around me, holding me tightly.

  “I only really realized it when I was looking at the toxic masculinity articles, and when I was trying to make my resolution list, but… I want to offer you something no one else can give you. No, don’t speak yet. I… I need to tell you this.”

  I had been about to respond, feeling the need to encourage him, to assure him of my love for him, but my jaw snapped shut with a click and I relaxed against his body again. I could wait for him to be ready.

  His grip tightened on my arms for a fraction of a second before he spoke again, his voice heavy with emotion.

  “The others are all stronger than me, except Nightfall. Our party has always been brawn-heavy. And Nightfall’s dexterity is higher than mine too. All his stats are, except for strength. I… its one of the reasons I hated him so much, along with him being such a pretty-boy and a dark elf – and I recognize that that was part of the prejudice coded into my race as well, but… I still feel that way sometimes.”

  I felt my heart twinge. Nightfall and Bastion had come a long way to overcome their animosity as grudging teammates, largely out of obligation to me, but they still weren’t each other’s favourite people.

  “But Nightfall is a rogue type, and I’m an archer. Even if his base stats are higher, there’s things I have an affinity for that he doesn’t. Things I can do that he can’t. He can sneak, steal, fade and pick locks, but I’m better with a bow and have a more natural ability for cartography. I’ve always felt such a burden being so average, but I’m making a resolution to be better. For you and for myself.”

  “I’ve never thought you were average,” I swore. “In fact, I always felt like I was kind of average. Before I met you, before I came to your world, I was just some accountant woman with a broken family and a deadbeat boyfriend trying to make the rent every month. You’re… you’re amazing, Bastion, and I… You can’t know how nervous I was that you wouldn’t like me anymore when we came back here, and I wasn’t a perfect succubus anymore. I was just me.”

  “Foolish woman,” Bastion laughed, kissing me again between words. “As though I could ever be disappointed in you. You’re a goddess. Beautiful. Talented. Smart. Kind. Unbelievably weird. And mine.”

  He leaned over me then, leaving a trail of hot kisses down my neck.

  “I’m going to make a promise to you, Emma,” he said, his mouth on my collarbone.

  My breath hitched as he rolled on top of me as quick as lightning and brought his brow to rest on mine.

  “I promise you that I’ll embrace my natural talents more. I’ll train my archer abilities. You already have enough bodyguards, but now you can be confident that I’ll always have your back. I’ll always provide cover for you and the others. Everyone you care about.”

  He rested his elbow near my head and brushed the hair out of my face, his expression solemn and hot all at once, a deep fire in his eyes.

  “And tonight, my darling Emma,” he purred, “tonight, I’m going to show you exactly what having an archer’s dexterity means.”

  It was as though the final veil of separation fell from its place between us as Bastion revealed the depths of his true self to me. Every thought fell out of my head, and I felt momentarily as though I’d returned to my previous 2/10 intelligence stat, the world suddenly simplifying into binary truths.

  Bastion was mine and I was his. We might not have been made for each other, but we fit together in perfection.

  In the grand scheme of things, it didn’t need to be any more complicated than that.

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