I’m twelve years old. I would tell you my name, but I think it doesn’t matter muow. Wolf tells us we shouldn’t give people our names. She calls me Waif, so I guess you call me Waif too. She offered to expin what it means, but I’m not stupid. I know what a waif is. It means someone who’s skinny and small. I am, I guess, skinny and small. I’m other things too. I read. Mama taught me.

  I came from a lovely family, you know. Mama was kind and Papa was too. Our house always smelled like biscuits and tobacco. I used to read curled up on this one blue chair by the window. It had little white flowers on it, and the chair was the softest. I used to rub my cheek into it and chew my hair while I read. Melody always scolded me for chewing my hair. I guess maybe I shouldn’t have told you her her, but it’s too te now. Just don’t tell anyone, okay?

  Melody was my sister.

  I’ve had sisters before, three of them. I was the sed you, and the two oldest took care of me and I took care of— I won’t tell you what her name was. She was my little sister. She had hair like mine, yellow and fair. She rettier than me, face like a cherub, Mama said. Cherub, that’s a good word.

  It’s nice here. I like it well enough. People are kind to me, and I have enough food to eat. That’s more than I say from before. Knave and Wolf, they were good at getting food. Wolf hunt, and Kricky with people.

  I wasn’t good at feeding myself, not like them. My family, after they… well, Knave says I should just say it, but I ’t. Not just yet. So I’ll just say, after they were gone, I didn’t know what to do or where to go. You ’t know what that’s like—or maybe you . I don’t know you, I guess.

  They were gone, and it was just me and Sissy left. We stayed in the house for as long as we could because I told us to. I was in charge. It was like being Mama, and that was fun at first. It stopped being fun after a little while, but I tried to act like it was still a game, for Sissy. I pretended like it was an adventure and only cried once I was sure she was asleep.

  It turned out the blue chair was also really good f. I sat and rubbed my cheek against into the backrest and pressed my hands against my mouth to keep very quiet. I cried a lot for that part, and I think mostly Sissy slept. Once I found her only pretending to be asleep, though. She pretended for me, so I could feel strong. Sissy was a really good person. I found out she was awake, so I went to y down and hug her. It was the only time, but we held each other and cried and cried together.

  After, she really did fall asleep, and I stayed up looking at the ceiling in the dark, staring at nothing. I felt too sad to be sad anymore. Does that make sense? I felt empty instead, and my stomach growled. I don’t think I slept at all that night.

  In the daytime I ate less and less, and I gave Sissy most of the food. The cupboards were getting bare, and I didn’t know where to get more.

  Then the lights went out, and the refrigerator stopped too. It was dark, and Sissy cried because she was hungry and cold. I couldn’t fix hungry, but I lit dles and made up stories. I piled up all the bs and towels in the house to make a for us. I told her to pretend we were vampires, and the pain in our bellies was the beginnings of ic prowing. Maybe I shouldn’t have said vampires— vampires are kind of scary, but I was hungry and tired, and I couldn’t think of anything else.

  We did have to leave eventually. Whe huhan I was scared, I put some things in a bag, took Sissy’s hand, and we left the house. I made sure to call it the house instead of our house because I thought it would help.

  You know how in books, someone es along to rescue the main character after they’re orphaned? Someone es to take them on an adventure, and they meet a bunch of new people and find their p the world— that’s how it works in books.

  That’s not how it was in real life, not at all.

  In real life, we walked to our neighbor’s house. He lived alone ao himself. I’d alked to him, but it was at least a face I knew. It was something. I tried knog on his door first, and he offered to let us in, but I got a funny feeling from him. I didn’t like the way he looked at me. I made an excuse about my Mama needing sugar then ran when he went to go fetch it, Sissy’s hand in mine. I made us walk around the neighborhood until I was sure he’d fotten about us, then we went back to his house and I hid Sissy and I in his yard, beh a bush.

  I didn’t sleep because I was too scared, so I kept watstead. I told myself more stories about vampires to make myself feel brave. Vampires weren’t afraid of the dark. They were the scariest thing in the dark. I was a vampire, so I wouldn’t be afraid either.

  Except I was afraid.

  I was bad at getting us food. I wasn’t quiough to steal, or sneaky enough either. I got caught and the polie. I told Sissy to run, to go to our neighbor’s. I shouldn’t have dohat. I wish I hadn’t dohat.

  I told her I’d e back for her, and I did. I did e back. I told the police a lot of lies: I said I was sorry. I made up a story that my parents were worried at home. They let me go, but it took all day.

  I went to get Sissy, but the neighbor said she wasn’t there.

  Now I know he lied, but then I didn’t. I just… I didn’t.

  I don’t want to talk about this part. I got skinny because I was bad at getting us food. Mostly I did. I think it’s why I’m so small. I hope Sissy got to eat. I don’t want to talk about it.

  I talk about the Persephone girls? I know a little bit about them, about all of them, their lives before.

  Even Harlot made do, and she’s not much of a fighter either. I call her Harlot, Lune said. I thought that was a bad word, but she says there are no bad words here— says you ought to call people what they want, so I do. Harlot got here well-fed, but hurt in other ways. I tell. I see it in all of them, even the ones who think they hide it.

  Even Wolf. Lune named her that, and I think I know why. Lune means moon, you know. In French, it means moon. Papa was French. I wonder if she meant it as a joke: Wolf and Moon.

  I know being called Wolf makes her feel proud, but I wonder if she sees the way that she follows Lune. Like this Irish setter we had once, she followed Re— my younger sister. She followed her wherever she’d go, like when she’d go to fetch the eggs from the hens in the m. Eve at the foot of her bed, even though there wasn’t much bed left to sleep on ‘cause we shared.

  Wolf follows Lune like that. I don’t say anything because I think it might embarrass her. Wolf is sensitive like that, but I think it’s sweet. It’s here aren’t enough hings in the world these days, and that’s nice.

  Anyway, sometimes Sissy followed me like that, like Wolf does with Lune.

  I like my new sisters a lot. They’re o me, and they make sure I have enough to eat. It’s not the same, but Knave says it ’t be. I don’t need her to tell me that, you know. I do know. I’m not stupid. I’m young, but I read, and even I stayed alive long enough to find my way here. Lune says I belong here as much as anyone, and maybe when I grow up more I’ll really feel like that’s true. I guess I hope it is? I don’t know. I’m just so tired.

  My new sisters are good. It’s just sometimes I think about Mama and Papa, and sometimes I think about the other sisters I had. I shouldn’t say real sisters, even though Lune says we say whatever we want here. It feels mean because I know they’re trying. We’re all trying. I should say “my sisters before”. I think about them even when I try not to. Sometimes when I’m w in the garden or helping with the washing up, the thoughts find me, and I think about Sissy most of all.

  I miss her a lot.

  we stop now?