[] Here look. I brought a fish.

  In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. He stared down at the measly tribute. He knew that this was no tribute fit for a king, never mind a god. Of course, how he knew any of this was anyone’s guess.

  From his seat above the cabinet he cried out in indignation.

  [Azizi] Meow. (Is this it? Is this all you have to offer the great Azizi? I could have you killed for your insolence, elf.)

  [Elf] Aww adorable. It's your favorite right? Come on down and eat.

  [Azizi] Meoow. (Ugh. Why did I ever allow you to be chosen as the next leader.)

  [Elf] Gah. Hey you did not need to jump on me to get down. You're a cat. Can't you just land on the floor? Your claws are sharp you know

  Not even fresh. Ha. I guess I'll have to make do with this for today.

  [Elf] Aw who's a cute little kitty.

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  Damnit that's it.

  [Elf] Gah! My hand!

  Hmph.Sleeping in again. How inattentive. It’s hours past midnight, the slacker.

  [Azizi] Meow. (Awake servant. You need not sleep in so late when your master is already up.)

  [Elf] Agh. What. What time is. Gah. Azizi. Stop stepping on my face. Hey. What do you even want.

  [Azizi] Prrrrrr. (My hair maintenance is long overdue.)

  [Elf] Ugh. I’ll pet you as much as you want after the sun comes up ok? Let me sleep please?

  [Azizi] Prrr (Don’t you dare fall asleep again. How will you take responsibility if my beautiful fur degrades because of your lack of care.)

  [Elf] Sigh Alright alright I get it. Please stop stepping on me with those claws. Where’s that brush….

  [Azizi] Meow (That’s better. It would have gone much faster if you had just obeyed properly in the first place. Or better yet learn how to meet my needs before I have to ask you for them.)

  Asleep again. How this creature manages to survive I will never know. Hmph. Well as a merciful master I shall bestow upon him a reward. Perhaps this will energize him some. And hopefully he’ll learn to fetch some appropriate tributes.

  PLRP

  [Elf] GAH. Holy Hasaat what on UGH. That stench.

  [Elf] … Is… is that an octopus? AZIZI. Why the hell did you bring an octopus in here? Where did you even find this thing? I don’t recall the lake having octopuses. AGH. And WHY are there dead mice on my bed?

  [Azizi] Meow. (Perfect. It seems my generosity has bestowed upon you new energy. Use it to serve me well.)

  [Elf] Ugh. Now I have to dispose of all this. These are pretty big mic- notdeadnotdeadnotdead oh gods they aren’t dead.

  Sigh. All I do for him and the dunce just lets the mice scatter. If I were any other master I’d give him 20 lashes. Rightfully earned I might add.

  Well. Another day another chance at educating him.