abstractCow

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  [colpse]The Visit, Part 1: Anticipation2026 December 5Saturday“Indira, when you say ‘all the way’, do you mean, like, with surgery and everything?”

  “Yes, Finn. In particur, you will each be receiving an orchiectomy—removal of the testicles—in about three months. Further operations will be at the discretion of your sponsor, but we hope you’ll be willing to provide constructive input when the time comes to make those sorts of decisions.”

  Some of the boys start loudly objecting. Lauren waves her taser in front of her boy’s face while gesturing with her other hand toward the women who came down for backup. Her boy was selected to be this year’s example, just like I was, except he’s more angry about what Indira said than ashamed. Lauren is saying something to him, also, but I can’t hear it over the commotion.

  In contrast to Lauren’s boy, Finn sits very still and quiet with an unreadable expression on his face.

  Once the others have been quieted down a bit, Finn asks with a steady, almost robotic tone, “Indira, is there more, or may I be excused to talk with Rose about this in my room?”

  Finn softened up remarkably quickly once we removed him from his old influences, so I don’t have any concerns. I nod at Indira to let her know it’s OK.

  She says, “Yes, Finn. You’re excused.”

  I step back to give Finn some room to stand. He slowly works his feet out from under his seat, stands, and starts to walk toward the common room doors. We pass through without issue and take the short walk back to my old room; now his. Finn sits on his bed, and I take a seat at his desk. I’m still holding my taser, but I’m resting it across my p, not aiming at him or anything else in particur.

  “Is all of it true, Rose? You’re going to make us into women, and nothing is going to stop you?”

  “Yes, Finn.”

  Finn is still wearing that indiscernible expression. I’m about to ask what he’s thinking, when his eyes start to shine, reflecting some of the lighting in his room. Then, his cheek. And shortly after, tears start streaming down his face.

  “Finn, are you…”

  “Please don’t.”

  “I’m sorry, I just…”

  “It’s Violet.”

  “Oh, Hunny.”

  I leap from my chair, and my taser falls to the ground with a loud thud. Before she has time to react, I have Violet wrapped in a hug so tight, I have to double check that she’s still able to breathe.

  A little time and one soaked top ter, we both rex, and Violet manages to speak.

  “Did you know?”

  “I strongly suspected. You’ve been on estrogen before, right? I think it gave you a bit of chest growth.”

  She nods, and I continue. “And when we saw you on the cameras checking yourself out earlier this week, we knew we needed to go ahead with the announcement.”

  She says, “I figured out what you were doing within a couple weeks of you starting the shots, but I was so afraid that if I said anything, you might stop giving them… or do something worse like wash me out.”

  “No, Hun. The shots are here to stay. You can be the girl you were always meant to be… That is what you want, right? What pronouns would you like me to use?”

  “Yes, I want to be a girl! And she and her. But just when we’re alone. I don’t trust some of the others to understand.”

  “Of course. I’m so gd to finally meet you, Violet, she-ssh-her.”

  She starts to wear the same big grin that Cire did when I first addressed her by name. After a few moments, though, Violet’s smile drops and is repced by a look of horror.

  “Oh Christ, Rose, the others! I don’t think any of them are trans like I am. They’re going to be frickin’ miserable! We’ve all done some wicked bad stuff, but nobody deserves what you’re putting them through.”

  “It will be alright Violet. The others will be fine.”

  “You can’t know that! God, I feel like such an ass for wanting this.”

  I look down and back at the phone sitting on Violet’s desk. Its screen is dimly dispying the time, indicating it’s been a little over an hour since first disclosure began.

  Am I really considering doing the second one so soon? Violet has been showing remorse for the things she did before we took her in, and we both just proved that we can trust one-other in a vulnerable position; my taser is still lying on the floor halfway across the room.

  The final decision on when to disclose ultimately falls to me, but the sponsors would normally try to have a group meeting to discuss timing first. Quick turnarounds aren’t unheard of, though. Beth’s took less than two weeks. Pippa talked to Cire within a few days.

  I look above the door to Violet’s room and give the hidden camera up there a significant look. Surely Beth or Maria or someone more senior than me is watching us carefully. I need to make sure whoever is watching has time to let me know if I’m jumping the gun, so I count to ten in my head, watching Violet turn increasingly distressed the whole time. My phone and the speakers in the room stay silent. I guess I’ll have to apologize to Pippa ter for beating the record she set with Cire.

  I say to Violet, “So first off, pay it forward when you can, but you don’t have to feel bad for finally having your needs met. If anybody needs to feel bad, it’s the other sponsors and I.”

  She looks unconvinced, but I continue, “And second, I can tell you why I’m not worried about the others, but I need you to promise that you can keep it secret what I’m about to say.”

  She looks at me for a while like I’ve presented a difficult riddle. To be fair, I’ve pyed as both a friend and an adversary in the st hour alone.

  “Fine. I can keep your secret.”

  “I’m gd.”

  I take a deep breath. This won’t be easy, but I knew I’d have to share my story eventually.

  “Violet, let me tell you about a bigoted asshole from Texas.”

  2028 April 9Sunday“Great job, everyone. See you all next week!”

  Cire started offering private voice lessons once most of the members of Violet’s intake were ready for them. Now that all of their voices passwell enough, the lessons have been repced with a group speaking css and a choir. The voice lessons used to be one of Christine’s many externally and self-appointed jobs, but she seems happy to be relieved of the responsibility. I’m sure her wife is gd for it as well.

  Cire walks away from the gaggle of second years and asks, “Are you sure you don’t need us here this evening, Rose?”

  “No, I think I’ll be OK, and I don’t want to overwhelm them with new faces. You and Aoife can rex and enjoy some time together tonight.”

  “Well, if you insist,” she says.

  She pnts a kiss on my lips and turns toward the door.

  Violet skips toward me.

  “What do you think?” Violet asks. “Will we be ready for the recital?”

  “Of course you will. You all sound great! And you don’t have me holding you back like my group did.”

  “You were fine, Rose!” Cire yells back just before she finishes leaving the room.

  Violet giggles and says, “It means a lot to hear you say that, Rose.”

  Before Violet’s disclosures—they happened in such quick succession that they feel like one big event to me—I was worried that she would think I was co-opting the trans experience and community for my own gain. I was worried that she would never consider me really trans like she is. I’ve had many conversations with Cire and Aoife about this sort of brainworm, and despite Cire’s assurances that Aoife, I, and all the other Dorley girls are just as valid as her, I can still feel it wiggling around in my head sometimes.

  Violet responded completely opposite to how I feared, however. She’s told me she used to wish that she could simply be a cis man and that her “broken” brain would let her enjoy the body she had without her having to deal with the social, financial, and literal pains of transition. She actually found it amazing that the others and I would choose to become women as part of our reform. Fortunately, between the support of our Sisters and the more material resources avaible to us, we helped Violet sidestep most of her concerns. The electrolysis was still a beast, though, from what I’ve been told.

  Just like I do with Beth and her with Maria, Violet looks up to me like a big sister, and she seeks my input or approval on nearly everything she does. It’s almost to a fault, really. She still needs to figure out who Violet is as her own person and not just as an extension of myself. But that is in a rge way what her upcoming third year is about, so I’m not too concerned.

  Besides, we have found at least one major thing that sets us apart. She insists that the Patriots are superior to the Cowboys despite my very well reasoned protestations. Lauren can’t help but ugh at us whenever we get into an argument about which team is better. Violet also has inscrutable cravings for chain coffee and donuts that Almsworth is, for better or for worse, unable to satisfy.

  “So, today’s the big day, huh? Are you excited?” Violet asks.

  “More like terrified,” I answer. “Neither of them have seen me like this in person, and you know there’s some history between us.”

  “Well, we’ve got your back,” Violet says. “Right, girls?”

  “Yeah!” one of the other second years yells out. “We’ll kick their arses if they give you any trouble.”

  “I really don’t think that will be necessary,” I say. “Besides, they’re not disclosed, so you all need to be on your best behavior.”

  There’s a collective groan from the second years. I almost feel bad for disappointing them.

  Lauren, who must have entered the room a few minutes ago, clears her throat and says, “Why don’t you go get ready, Rose? It’s time for us to start working on dinner anyway.”

  “Sure,” I say. “Thanks Lauren. See you ter girls, and remember, best behavior.”

  A while ter, I’ve washed up, changed into a nice dress—“first” impressions are important—and eaten a bit of dinner upstairs. I head to the ground floor dining room and approach the kitchen. Beth is already waiting for me.

  “How are you doing, Sis?” she asks.

  “Still fucking terrified.”

  “Hey, it’ll be alright. Remember what I told you about how well Steph meeting her parents went. Or how well I meeting my parents went.”

  “Didn’t you spend a few minutes ‘accidentally’ lobbing tennis balls at their heads after the dedication of the new courts? They didn’t even know who you were.”

  “Exactly. It went great!”

  Beth and I both feel our phones buzz. There’s a message from Steph saying she’s entering the building. Beth runs off through the kitchen to ostensibly help open doors. Really, her job is to close them carefully so the locks preventing escape through the kitchen don’t make too much noise.

  A couple minutes ter, Beth reenters the dining hall. She’s followed by Steph who has our two guests in tow.

  The first is a tall blonde woman I’ve been talking to regurly online, and the second…

  I take a deep breath to steady myself. It’s time.

  “Hey, Nora,” I say. “And hello, Lily. It’s good to see you again.”