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  [colpse]The Visit, Part 3: Questions2028 April 10MondayWhat an awful way to end the evening.

  I got called for an emergency shift in the security room. There, I had the privilege of watching a group of second-time adolescents, most of whom were fully disclosed and two of whom were already trying out new names, doing such exciting activities as reading a book, pying a video game, and sleeping.

  I thought I had pyed it safe enough by acting as second backup for one of the security room spots, but the primary girl assigned to the spot went out for dinner with the first backup, and they both got food poisoning. I think we need some kind of designated survivor guidelines to prevent these sorts of events in the future. And no, we couldn’t have just one girl in the security room, no matter how quiet it’s gotten in the basement. Ever since an incident in 2020, we’ve been very strict about having two girls on watch at all times.

  What frustrates me, though, isn’t the boredom or the ck of sleep. It’s that despite the years and the distance and my own stupidity, I was somehow given a second chance. A second chance to connect with one of the kindest, most interesting—and hell, I can think it given what I put her through—bravest people I know. And then it was nearly ruined by an unfortunate set of coincidences. Which, OK, is the type of thing I’ve been told has always happened around here.

  But I haven’t lost yet. I messaged Nora and Lily about an hour ago, and we agreed to meet at a pce called Egg Nation that’s a little ways off campus. It’s a bit busier than is ideal, but they do offer like five different takes on the egg in a basket, three of which feature avocado.

  I enter and find Lily and Nora sitting at a table near the corner of the cafe farthest from the counter. We acquire much needed food and coffee. And then we’re right back to the awkward silence that preceded the rest of yesterday's conversation. Damn it.

  I spend what feels like several minutes racking my brains for something to talk about. I swear I’ve just about settled on a good conversation topic when Lily takes the initiative.

  “Rose, we need to tell you something.”

  “Shit. OK. No, I get it if you don’t feel comfortable around me. I’ll just head out now and make sure Steph knows we finished early.”

  “No!” Lily excims. “It’s not that. You’re fine. Great even. I can tell you’ve changed a lot these st few years.”

  I feel warm inside. It’s such a relief to hear her say that.

  She continues. “It’s just… Well, we met your friend Violet st night.”

  They met Violet? That doesn’t sound right. The second years were hanging out with Lauren… and they must have followed her into the dining hall.

  Shit. They know to not talk about what happens at Dorley, of course, but they haven’t been properly prepped on how to interact with undisclosed outsiders or how everybody’s official stories go. Christine is going to be pissed.

  There’s no real need to worry at this point, but I still covertly slip a hand into my bag and press a button on the side of my phone. Doing so starts the phone recording our conversation in case anything is said that requires follow-up action.

  “Oh, nice,” I say. “Violet is a really sweet kid.”

  “Yeah, she seemed that way,” Lily answers. “except she said a few things that were kind of odd. I don’t know if she’s just confused or what, but I thought you should know.”

  “What kinds of things?” I ask.

  “Well for one, she said she met you after moving into your dorm and that you helped her start transitioning, but Dorley Hall doesn’t room men, does it?”

  “Uh, I think she was aware of herself but closeted when she moved it. She must have told somebody in charge of housing.”

  “That’s what I assumed at first, but she made it pretty clear that nobody knew she was trans before meeting you.”

  Oof. Not the worst thing, though.

  “You know, I think I remember Violet presenting as non-binary when she moved in. Like how some people do that to test the waters before decring they’re binary trans. She probably meant she hadn’t told anybody she was a girl until she met me.”

  “See, Lily,” Nora says to her girlfriend. “There was a perfectly good expnation after all.”

  “But what about the thing with Beth and Stephanie?” Lily asks.

  “Oh, good point,” Nora responds.

  “Um… what thing with Beth and Stephanie?” I say.

  I’m starting to get nervous, so I take a sip of coffee from my overfilled mug. The caffeine helps to reduce anxiety.

  Lily starts, “OK, so she was talking about this, um… succession of trans women. You know, girls femming girls femming girls, or maybe sponsoring is a better word?”

  “But anyway, like you said,” Lily continues, “sweet kid. Nice idea, too, and she made the picture in her head very clear to us. However, it starts with Stephanie helping Beth to begin transition. Violet sounded very confident on this point.”

  “And we can’t understand how she’d make that mistake,” Nora interjects. “Stephanie loves telling the story about how she met an already transitioned Beth in Romania. She almost told it again on the way to the dorm st night, but I reminded her I’d heard and read it at least… Rose, are you alright?”

  I’d already started choking on my coffee by the time Nora started speaking, and now I’ve both coughed some up and knocked my no-longer overfilled mug. My toasty is soaked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I sputter.

  “Well, if you say so… Anyway, I fully understand staying closeted or stealth, which neither Stephanie nor Beth are, by the way, and I can even see, um, keeping the exact circumstances of your early transition a secret, but now I’m wondering why Violet seems to believe something the rest of us don’t. She said she doesn’t even know Stephanie or Beth all that well. I know I’m only a friend from the internet, but why would Violetknow so much about them?”

  “Well, um…”

  Lily furrowed her brow and asked, “You know more than you’re letting on, don’t you Rose?”

  Fuck.

  “Yes,” I say. “I do know what Violet was talking about. Just… it’s very important to both Bethany and Steph that the exact details of Beth’s early transition remain private.”

  “Important to just them?” Nora asks.

  My eyes grow wide for a moment, and from the looks on their faces, they saw it too.

  “No, not just them,” I say, sounding dejected. “But please, let it be. I wish I could say more, but I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

  They both look at each other for a moment, and then Lily looks off to the side and answers, “Alright, Rose. We won’t press anymore.”

  She looks so disappointed. She and Nora just learned that their friend has been lying to them, and I’ve been covering it up. So much for regaining her trust.

  A few minutes ter, I double press the button on the side of my phone to stop the recording and send a copy for analysis by the other sponsors. We hardly talk for the next half an hour as I struggle to eat my soggy toasty and the other two poke at their own food.

  Steph arrives after a while to spend some time with Lily and Nora. She gives me a soft smile as I pass her to return to the Hall. It’s clear she knows about the conversation by now. I’ve fucked up my st chance to make amends, and I’ve put all our Sisters in danger as well.

  * * *

  RoseShit. Shit. SHIT.

  FUCK.

  Maria@Rose As much fun as it was to watch you panicking in your basement bedroom, we really don’t need a repeat of it in #opsec.

  RoseSorry, I’m just really freaking out right now.

  StephanieOK, they both just left to use the toilet, so I can finally give an update.Neither of them have said anything to me or, while I’ve been in ear shot, each other about this morning’s discussion.But conversation has been a lot more strained than it was yesterday, and they keep looking at me like I’m some kind of puzzle to be solved.I don’t think they know that I know that they know that… yeah you get it.

  ChristineSorry. Just getting to this.As self-appointed CSO of this organization, I’ll offer my take. Just give me some time to listen to the recording and prepare my thoughts.

  StephanieChief Shitshow Officer

  ChristineThanks, Steph. Very helpful.

  StephanieYou’re welcome, Tina. If you’d like, I can get that printed on a mug for your next birthday.

  I think they’re done. Got to go. Good luck.

  ChristineOK, @Rose, I’m caught up.So, piece of advice: DON’T PANIC.This doesn’t even rank in the top five of recent opsec fuckups.

  Tabitha(Melissa Haverford, by the way, is personally responsible for four of the five.)

  ChristineOnly four?

  TabithaI’m not counting the Mohsin-Carpenters.Shahida would have chased Melissa all the way to Manchester if we’d given her the time, and Rupa and Edward are mostly harmless.

  Rose@Christine It’s too te not to panic.

  ChristineAnd now my takes:I think Lily was being sincere when she said she’d drop it. Nora and Steph are good friends, and there was even a friendship blooming between her and you, Rose. And for what it’s worth, Lily sounded genuinely concerned for your sake, at least at first. If they were to keep pressing, which I doubt, it probably would be out of this concern for everybody’s wellbeing.

  OK, but let’s suppose they do keep pressing. Keep in mind that they’re American and unless their pns change, they’ll be back home by next weekend.That’s both better and worse for us in different ways.On the one hand, it’s going to be a lot harder for them to investigate the Hall or talk to any of us off record.On the other hand, it’s going to be a lot harder for us to keep tabs on them in case they do start poking around.

  I’m afraid it’s not clear what to recommend. We could just try to watch them and reevaluate as soon as anything changes. Or we could go as far as disclosure.

  @Rose You were the only one who could actually see them to get a read on what their intentions might be. And, for better or worse, you know Lily better than anybody else here.I think it has to be your call what we do here.

  RoseShit.

  ChristineAnd if we end up doing disclosure, we need to select the right person to lead it. Preferably somebody involved in the incident.The principal of “you break it you buy it” suggests Violet, but like hell I’m standing by while a second year does disclosure, even if it is already April.Stephanie’s experience with Dorley was too atypical.Lauren and Beth barely know Lily and Nora.I think that leaves you, Rose.

  RoseSHIT.

  @Stephanie Would you be OK with their being read in?

  StephanieDo what you have to do, Rose. I’ll come out of this cleaner than most anyway.Got to run!

  BethanyWe trust your decision, Rose

  RoseOK, serious Beth is never a good sign.

  Fine. I want to say it would be OK to just let things go, but if I were in Lily’s position, I would not be carrying any trust for me right now.And as much as I’d hate to freak them out with what really happens here, I’m not going to leave anything to question and put my Sisters at risk.I’ll direct message Steph asking her to bring them to the second floor kitchen after lunch. Hopefully it won’t be busy in there.

  @Christine Can you or somebody else prepare a pair of tablets with the NDAs for disclosure? Leave them in the drawer under the kettle. I’m an absolute mess right now, and I’ll need all the time I can get to put myself back together again.

  ChristineOf course. Good luck, Rose.

  RoseThanks. I’m going to need it.