The door opened with a long, low creak to reveal a room that immediately made me feel tiny. It was a living room that could have beloo any one of the homes I had retly explored in Threewells. There was a rotting carpet on the ground, chairs with missing legs pced around a stone firepce, a few tables and shelves that were covered in dust and no ck of rotting refuse just piled into the ers.

  Where things got strange was when I stepped in and actually took in the size of everything. I could have fit three Broccolis side by side on any one of the chairs, the ceiling was five meters above and even the smallest table stopped o my shoulders.

  I felt like a mouse that had wandered into a bear’s den.

  Slowly, carefully, I lowered my backpaext to the door then moved in. I had my knife by my side, even though I didn’t really know how--or even wao--use it, and my other hand tingled with ing magic just waiting to be released. I was crossing the entrao a bedroom, the door left ajar, wherance door smmed shut.

  I ‘eeked’ and jumped five feet up and nearly lost my heart from the fright. I crouched and hoped that nothing was going to pop up to eat me. It took some time for my heart to decide that it wao stay in my chest.

  The bedroom was clear, though the bed itself was big enough for aire family to sleep on and I could easily crawl u on my hands and knees if I wahere wasn’t anything there for me, so I moved on.

  I found Maddy the mad skeleton sitting in the dining room. Only his head and shoulders stood out above the tall table, and his feet dangled a foot off the ground where he erched on the edge of an enormous chair. Three more zombie animals were at the table. A red furred fox, a sickly goat and a big fork-tongued lizard.

  Maddy was trying, in vain, to lift a kettle the size of his torso up when he saw me enter.

  “Hello, Maddy,” I said.

  There were no doors here, no paddy to escape to. Something told me that this was the end of the line for one of us.

  The skeleton stood up onto his chair, then climbed atop the table with more acrity than I thought a skeleton ought to have. He yanked his hat off, and from its depths pulled out three more hats.

  “Oh no,” I said as I started to run.

  A rge wig nded on the zombie fox’s head just as I reached the creature and ya its tail. It flopped to the ground with a ctter, a gavel spinning out of its mouth a moment before I goomba stomped it ft.

  Ding! gratutions, you have rehe final judgement on Zombie Judge fox, level 2!

  The other two zombie animals nded with a ctter of hooves and a... bounce?

  I turned and fired off two quisights before taking them in with my own eyes.

  A zombie Viking goat, level two.

  A zombie lizard, level two.

  The goat had a big red helmet on, twe horns that were definitely not goat-like stig out of the sides and a round shield was strapped to its back.

  The lizard...

  I stared at the akeup sthered with more enthusiasm than skill across the lizard’s green scales and the big honking nose on the end of its snout. A red wig sat atop its head, wobbling to and fro as the lizard banced on its hindlegs atop a big, multi-coloured ball.

  “That doesn’t even make sense,” I said.

  They charged. There was no gimmick here, no tricksy trick. The goat lowered its head and charged right at me and the lizard followed suit.

  I spun on my heel and dashed back towards the living room, narrowly avoiding a thrown khat sunk into the doorway with a dull thunk as I passed it. The lizard was juggling knives and that wasn’t fair!

  The goat’s hooves skittered across the ground as it turhe er, losing enough tra that the lizard overtook it on its huge ball.

  I darted into the bedroom, then ducked behind the door. A momehe lizard zoomed into the room. “Got you!” I said as I moved out, pulling the door shut behind me and feeling a wave of satisfa wash over me as it clicked shut.

  The satisfa left when a hard head rammed into my tummy a me flying.

  I nded with a roll, coughing for all I was worth as the goat, only visible from the er of my eye, backed away and stomped a hoof like a bull after a matador.

  Health 93/110

  That had taken a k out of me. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stand again, and I had lost my knife somewhere after being punted. Hooves cttering on wood annouhe goat’s charge.

  I rolled, just barely avoiding the attack that had the zombie slowing down and turning to face me again. “You made one mistake, mister Goat,” I said as I got onto shaky legs. “You left yate open.”

  Spinning around, I ran back towards the dining room.

  The goat followed.

  When it sounded close I ducked to the side and saw it shoot past me and deeper into the living room. That was my ce! I darted into the dining room, ran to one of the chairs and with both hands on the edge of it, jumped.

  I nded in a crou the edge of the chair and had only just gotten my bance back when the goat rammed one of the legs. The ch of rotten wood giving way sounded out and the eform shook and started to tumble to the side.

  I ran, gaining some momentum before I jumped and, with an arm over the edge to help me up, mao roll onto the table then onto my feet.

  Maddy was standing across from me, something akin to surprise on his skeletal face. “Now what?” I asked him.

  The goat bleeted angrily below and I heard it move to another chair. It might be able to climb up, which didn’t leave me much time. It was my turn to charge at an adversary. Maddy reached into his hat and pulled out all sorts of hats that he flung at me. Shakos and cowboy hats and police caps. All dodged or batted away until, finally, I was in front of the mad hatter and spped him hard across the chest.

  “!” I screamed.

  Magic, all the magic I had left, poured into the skeleton.

  I took a couple of steps back, wary and uain.

  Maddy pced his top hat ba, then tipped it to me a moment before he and his hats began to fade into motes of light.

  Ding! gratutions, you have wiped three oppos (‘Zombie Viking goat,’ level 2. ‘Zombie lizard,’ level 2. ‘Maddy the Hatter, Skeleton Milliner,’ level 4)! Bonus Exp was granted for ing a monster above your level!

  “Heh, got all of them!” I cheered as Maddy faded away pletely. A teacup ale nded where he had fallen.

  Bing Bong! gratutions, your amon Bun css has reached level 3!Stamina +10Flexibility +5You have gained: One Css Point

  “Woo!” I cheered as wonderful little tingles ran up my spine and made me feel light as a feather. I was still tired, the stant fighting and adrenaliaking their toll, but I was also energized by my victory. It was a strange feeling, but one I weled.

  Dungeo:First Floor Boss Defeated. 24 hours until respawn.Sed Floor Unlocked.

  “Eveer!”

  gratutions! Through repeated as your Jumping skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!

  JumpingRank D - 00%The Ability to jump. Your reflexes and timing for jumps has increased. You ow jump higher and farther.

  And the giddiness just grew as mifts were rained down onto me. I calmed down a moment of two ter, my tiredness catg up to me. Seeing that Maddy was just a struct helped a lot.

  I suppose it meant that I could leave aurn and fight all of the same monsters again and again. If I recalled books with dungeons though, there would be ricks and traps ime, and being overfident could lead to me walking right into a pile of trouble. Also, Maddie’s hats felt... randomly assigned. Maybe I would get a really poor match-up ime.

  It robably best that I learo quit and when to move on.

  was cheg out my loot.

  An ented teacup, new

  An ented teapot, new

  Not as handy as my awesome new hat, but they might be valuable. The cup ale were both a beige colour, with tiny animals etched into the side. They looked... well, they were tiny zombie animals, but maybe someohat didn’t know would think they were just poorly drawn.

  I held my prizes close to my chest and started trekking over towards the door whehing wiggled and waved and the world spun. Theween one blink and the , I was at the entrance of the level, back to the door that still had Maddy’s sign on it and front fag the drop in the middle of the dungeon.

  “Oh,” I said. A look down showed my backpack, unceremoniously dumped by my side, and my teacup and pot were both still pressed against my chest. Even my knife was returo me, left on the ground by my foot. “That was kind. Thank you dungeon!” I said.

  No response came.

  I decided that a break was in order aled dowo the wall with my back to it. Out came the honey jar and a spoon and soon I was lick-lig my way through a tasty and well-earreat.

  NameBroccoli Bunbsp; RaceHuman (Riftwalker) First Cssamon Bun Age

  16?  Health

  110? Stamina

  125? Mana

  105?  Resilience

  20? Flexibility

  25? Magic

  10?  SkillsRank amon Bun Skills ingC - 76% JumpingD - 00%  General Skills InsightD - 48% Makeshift on ProficyF - 72% ArcheologyF - 35%  “Hrm, my ing skill is getting close to Rank B. That might be handy. And Jumping is actually pretty nifty. I look forward to getting it up to C to find out what it does! What do you think, mister Menu?” I asked.

  The box didn’t say anything, but I like to think that it appreciated the attention.

  Then my eyes alighted on my rad I stared. “Well, that’s new,” I said. Or was it? Had I just not been paying attention st time? Did it matter at all? I was going to have to ask someohe ime I found myself in a more civilised pce.

  I finished up my honey a few mier and pulled out a bottle of lukewarm water to sip at, then just kind of sat bad rexed. I was getting the hang of the adventurer’s life. At least, I hoped I was.

  The future had so mu store here! I was going to bee super strong and respected and I was going to make a ton of friends and one day I’d ride a dragon. I smiled as I leaned my head back against the wall and just let my imagination run wild...

  A distant whisper of wind startled me awake and I looked around bleary eyed. There wasn’t anyone around, just the huge empty dungeon.

  I climbed bay feet, legs kind of ache-y from the way I had been sitting batil I stretched and tried to get my blood flowing again.

  Health 110/110Stamina 125/125Mana 105/105

  “At least my nap wasn’t all bad, huh?” I asked my status menu while hiding a grin behind a hand.

  It must have been shy because it popped away soon after. The poor thing. This time my trip down the mushroom path was as easy as pie. I could feel the differehe rank up had made with my jumping skill. It was so much easier to guess when the exact right moment to nd would e up and when and how to bend my knees and shift my weight just so.

  I nded with a huge smile on my fad skipped over to the sed door of the dungeon. It was time to move onto the part of the adventure!