RavensDagger

  Chapter Two Hundred and Nine - Not the Hero We Need, But Not the Hero We Deserve

  “My name is Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne, and I am here to help!”

  My friends and I all stopped where we were, that was, right in the middle of the main thhfare of Insmouth. The fishy people of the town were going about their business, though quite a few of them were looking our way.

  Maybe it was seeing four explorers all geared up for an adventure. Maybe it was to see if Howard was alright.

  Probably it was the cervid standing across from us.

  I had only seen a few of the deer-people, and that had been a while ago, way back when I was still w on being Amaryllis’ friend.

  This one seemed... different than the obviously military-minded cervid I’d met.

  He--I assumed it was a he, what with the great antlers spying out of his head and poking out proudly above--was a couple of feet taller than me, with a puffed up chest and a dignified bearing. He had nice armour on, with a big pauldron and a cuirass that looked like it was made of some sort of leather. His sides and fnks were covered in more of the same, with gilding here and there to make the armour look that much fancier.

  “And who are you?” Amaryllis asked. She sounded like she was on the wrong side of tense which... yeah, that made sense. She didn’t have the best of experiences with cervid before. I pced a hand on her shoulder, remindihat I was still there if she needed emergency hugs or anything like that.

  The cervid blinked. He seemed momentarily fused, but that soon passed as he puffed out his chest even more. “I am Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne. Adventurer, fighter, lover of women of all sorts! The fine people of this quaint town have told me that some other intrepid adventurers had e and were to assist! I, never oo shy away from sharing in the glory that es from helping those in need, have waited here to see them.”

  “Oh,” I said. “Well, we’re adveoo!”

  The cervid’s eyes lit up. “Truly?” he asked. “What are yuild ranks, if I may ask? Which branch are you from? I am aware of very few women adventurers.”

  I shook my head. “We’re part of the exploration guild,” I said.

  Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne’s... Emmanuel’s expression dropped. “Ah, yes I suppose that makes sense. Not as glorious as the great adventurer’s guild, but I suppose it is a little safer.”

  “I guess?” I tried. “Anyway, it’s o see others out and about trying to help people!”

  Emmanuel nodded. “Of course. I have the power, the skill, and the good fortuo be born able to help others, to be able to act as a hero. It would be the height of insult for me not to take up such a mantle.”

  g my hands, I cheered him on. “Yeah! That’s the spirit!”

  My friends were giving me some looks, but they just didn’t uand. Mister Aldein Von Chadsbourne was doing the right thing, which meant that he should be praised for it. All too often people that tried their best to help went without notice.

  The cervid bowed our way. “Thank you, little miss. Now, not that I wish to ignore such beautiful woman, but I was told that there was a group on its way to assist this town in its time of need. Are they aboard that vessel?”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s us,” I firmed.

  He eyed us all. “The sylph I could imagine, perhaps,” he muttered.

  Amaryllis huffed, a very ‘this person is an idiot and is wasting my time’ kind of huff. It was one she’d used on me a few times. “ we get going? I’d like to see this duhing handled before the day’s up.”

  Awen and Bastion seemed eager to agree.

  “Ah, well,” I said. “It was nice meeting you, Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne, we’ll be off now!”

  “Pardon me,” he said, his smile being a little fixed. “But did I misuand your io try and fix this town’s dungeon issue?”

  “Yup,” I said. “That’s what we’re here for.”

  “Ah, but I too, am here for the same thing. There is no need for any of you young dies to risk yourselves with this onerous task, not when Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne is on the job!”

  “No, it’s okay,” I said. “We don’t he help. I think just the four of us will be more than enough. Unless you know something about Evil Roots?”

  “Evil Roots? Ah, you mean the...” Emmanuel leaned forwards a little, his voice dropping. “The creature these superstitious vilgers speak of?”

  “It’s less a creature and more a very violent weed,” I said.

  Emmanuel chuckled. “You believe them?”

  “Well, we’ve fought Evil Roots before, so yes?” I said. I was trying to mask my fusion, but I wasn’t trying that hard. Really, we’d only just stepped off the Beaver to head over to Insmouth’s dungeon, with Howard ag as uide, when Emmaepped up before us. It was a bit strange. “Anyway, we’re off!”

  I started leading us around Emmanuel. Howard shrugged and stepped up and ahead of us a moment ter.

  “Ah, wait, wait a moment,” Emmanuel said before spinning around and trotting up alongside us. “I shall apany you. I’m certain that if a crew such as yours are able to take care of these Evil Roots, then they’ll be no challeh someone like myself by your side.”

  “I think we’re okay,” I said.

  “Awa, maybe you go see if someone else needs saving?” Awen asked.

  The cervid cleared his throat. “Nonsense! When you find someone in need, it’s your duty as a hero to assist as best you !”

  “How did you even end up here?” Amaryllis asked. “We’re on the far side of the Hoofbreaker forest, and I don’t recall cervids being wele at the Grey Wall.”

  “Historically, that may be true, but the Crys aren’t so cruel as to deny access to a sirepid hero,” Emmanuel said. “And Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne is nothing if not a hero!”

  Bastion sighed. “I think the young miss was trying to politely steer you towards an issue that you solve without interfering with our own business,” Bastion said.

  “Nonsense! A hero of my caliber does not get in the way. He paves the way. A way for a better tomorrow!”

  “Yeah!” I agreed.

  “Stop cheering him on, you dolt,” Amaryllis said. “We’re trying to ence him to leave.”

  “But why? I mean, yeah, we probably don’t he help in the dungeon, but he doesn’t seem mean. And I guess if he is suspicious, then it would probably be best if we kept him close, right?”

  “Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne is not suspicious, he is heroic!”

  Amaryllis gave me a very ft look. “He’s very suspicious.”

  I gnced back at the cervid, hesitated for just a moment, then asked him a question. “ I use Insight on you?” I asked.

  “Certainly!” he said.

  A cervid Hero of the White Tail, level 20, proud of himself.

  “He’s a little strong, I guess,” I said. Bastion had question marks to his rohan us by level alone, but not s that he was a big threat, especially if we all worked together.

  Emmanuel chuckled. “You wound me, young bun. I am still young, and I still have a few adventures left in me before I grow strong enough to defend everyohat needs it.”

  “Hmm,” I said. “Well, I think Awen’s probably right. I don’t think we’ll need any help in the Insmouth dungeon, but if we do, it’s o know that we have someoo call upon.”

  Emmaapped at his . “No, I believe I shall insist upon apanying you.”

  “Insist?” Amaryllis asked. She sounded a bit dangerous there.

  “Indeed! What hero would leave a group of young maidens alone in such a vile and dangerous pce as a dungeon. If you won’t allow me to vince you to stay away from such a pce, then I will apany you. There might be monsters and vile creatures within, nothing that a young dy ought to bet her fragile stitution against!”

  “Pretty sure my stitution’s pretty good,” I said. “That’s like the resilieat, right? Mine’s at fifty-five.”

  “That’s not terribly high, actually,” Amaryllis said.

  “My csses are both more flexibility-based,” I admitted.

  “That’s the spirit,” Emmanuel said. “The physical stats are often the most useful in tag the sorts of problems a hero must fa their day-to-day! They keep you healthy and hardy and able to tackle the greatest foe and save those damsels in distress!”

  I stared at Emmanuel. He was very excitable. “What’s the male equivalent of a damsel?”

  “Pardon?”

  “Like, a prince? I mean, I was just thinking, what if that’s what you have to save?”

  Amaryllis hummed. “A prin peril? That preserves the alliteration.”

  “A prince isn’t the same as a damsel though,” Awen said.

  “I think that would just be a bachelor,” Bastion said.

  “I ’t think of any words that mean ‘in trouble’ that start with the same letter as that,” I said. “I should get a thesaurus.”

  “Yes, because that’s what you o carry around while dungeon diving,” Amaryllis said. “In case you run into any synonym-based traps.”

  “I bet there’s a wordpy dungeon somewhere on Dirt,” I said.

  “I have the impression that yroup isn’t taking this adventure very seriously,” Emmanuel said.

  “Huh? Of course we are,” I said. “’t you tell how nervous we are?”

  The cervid looked at me, then to all of my friends. “I’m afraid that I haven’t spent enough time with the lesser species to learn to read their body nguage. Your banter certainly doesn’t seem very nervous.”

  “Lesser species?” I repeated.

  “The cervid are idiots who, in their foolishness, believe that they’re better than everyone else,” Amaryllis said.

  “Oh,” I replied. Just some casual specism, then. “Well, whatever. Our banter’s meant to try and make each h, because making someone ugh makes you ugh, and ughter’s a great way to unwind and rex. If yoing to be doing something stressful, it's best to start with the best foot forward. So we banter.”

  “I see, yes,” Emmanuel said. “That makes sense. Perhaps I should join in your banter as well.”

  “I don’t know if you could manage,” Amaryllis said.

  “Of course, if some girls do it, theainly Emmanuel Aldein Von Chadsbourne, saviour of women ao all men, manage!”

  “Uh, your fidence is great, but you might want to tone down the misogyny? A lot?” I asked.

  “Awa, it is a bit rude.”

  “Five me?” the cervid said. “I am irely certain of how I insulted you, dear dies, but I know hile a woman’s heart be, and it wouldn’t behoove me not to apologize.”

  I looked to my friends and got deadpan looks and shrugs iurn.

  “Right, well,” I said. “Howard, where’s the dungeorance?”

  “Ah, it’s just outside of town a little ways. It looks a bit like a shed, actually. We pced raveyard there,” the fishman said.

  “Why did you do that?” Awen asked.

  “So that the mana from our dearly departed may return to the world by means of the dungeon. It’s just over here now.”

  “Let’s see about those Evil Roots then!” I said. And to myself, I wondered about what to do about our new cervid hanger-on.

  ***

  RavensDagger

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