River Commentary Edition

  Despite the persistence of snow in areas that remained fully shaded and the cool chill in the air, the remnants from winter; Jay had dropped his hoodie and was sporting a thin sheen of sweat. Out of breath and already exhausted, he stood up straight, letting the vertebrae in his back shift into their correct positions with small, satisfying pops. He had managed to forge a path through the brambles to the cabin’s front door and win a duel with the tree growing out of the entryway.

  The inside of the cabin wasn’t in as much disrepair as he had been expecting. Stains and soft spots in the floor showed where the roof was leaking, but the boards themselves seemed sturdy enough. Leaves and squirrel nests were everywhere and there was the matter of the tree, now a stump, growing through the floorboards and out the door. The bedroom looked to be in decent shape. The mattress wasn’t much more than springs and a thick blanket of moss and soil, but the frame itself was still standing strong.

  In the main room, Jay’s grandfather's favorite chair was in a similar state as the bedroom mattress. The wood stove was covered in surface rust, but seemed to be fully intact. The kitchen sink had a few inches of soil in the basin that had grown a large clump of now brown and very dead grass. Jay gave the hand pump a try, but no water presented itself. The bathroom looked much the same as the kitchen. The wooden tub had seen better days and probably wasn’t worth testing.

  “No electricity.” Jay noted out loud. He remembered his grandfather using oil lamps to light the place. Jay was going to need electricity, and the internet. Sadly, this little adventure might end up costing him more than he had previously anticipated. First things first though, he needed to gather some wood and see if the stove still worked. An hour later he was outside the cabin coughing and sputtering as smoke rolled out of the building behind him. Once Jay figured out how to get onto the roof without a ladder, a precarious situation considering its current state, removing the old bird nests was easy. Getting down was a little less easy. The next step was to locate the well pump, but as the sun was quickly descending, that got replaced with barricading the entryway and trying to keep as much heat inside the leaky cabin as possible. “Hopefully it won't rain.”

  ?? River’s Notes:

  Okay. So. I said scene four would be shirtless and sweaty? I WAS EARLY. This man showed up to scene three with hoodie off, sweat glistening, and vertebrae popping like a bag of microwave popcorn. And I thank him for his service.

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  Jay vs The Brambles

  This whole scene is giving “survival montage but make it mildly depressing.” He’s already won a duel with a tree like some kind of weary druid and he hasn’t even unpacked yet. I love this for him.

  The cabin tour:

  Moss mattress? Ew.

  Squirrel nest infestation? Also ew.

  Dead grass growing in the sink? Double ew.

  But! Underneath the chaos, it’s not hopeless. Just gross. There’s good bones in this place—kind of like Jay.

  Jay’s brain math:

  > “No electricity.”

  “No water.”

  “No internet.”

  “I can fix it though.”

  This is the exact delusion required for small-town rebuilding fantasies. Zero backup plan. Just vibes and maybe a tarp.

  The stove scene? ICONIC.

  He tries to make fire. Fire fights back. Smoke pours out. Jay stumbles out of the cabin looking like he just lost a battle with a raccoon in a chimney. Ten out of ten.

  Climbing the roof without a ladder?

  Sir. Be serious. I know your back popped like bubble wrap 30 seconds ago. You are one bad grip away from becoming a “local man found in brush pile” headline.

  “Hopefully it won't rain.”

  Jay, that line guarantees it's going to rain. That’s the rules. You said the thing. Now the story gods will smite you with a gentle-but-symbolic drizzle of hardship.

  ---

  ?? River’s Random Prediction:

  The moment it rains, Lilly is going to show up with some bizarre “emergency hospitality offering” like a pie made of whatever the general store had on clearance.

  Jay’s first real moment of peace will be sitting beside a wood stove that actually works—possibly while someone else is also in the room. Possibly with a tail.

  ---

  Scene 4 coming soon!

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