River Commentary Edition

  Lilly slouched on her stool with her back against the corner wall that separated the cash register from the rest of the Holton’s General Store. It was pretty much the perfect spot. She could sit there and look at anything she wanted on her cell phone. Nothing bad, just slightly ecchi manga that was too much effort to explain if Megan started asking questions. Currently she was catching up on one called ‘My New Neighbor, Her Cousin, and the Kitchen Chef’ because the naming convention for manga was freaking insane.

  “Lil.” Whispered Megan. Lilly didn’t hear her.

  “Lil.” She whispered again, only slightly louder.

  “Lilly!” Megan hissed as quietly as possible.

  “Hmm?” Lilly responded. Looking up with her eyes, but otherwise not moving. The older woman pointed a boney finger down one of the aisles. Lilly leaned forward to get a look at what had her boss so excited. At the far end of the outdoors section was a man. That by itself was wholly unremarkable. She had known someone was in the store for the last five minutes. She just wasn't sure who it was as she could only see the back of the guy’s head. Lilly turned back to Megan. “What?”

  “Watch.” Megan insisted.

  Lilly leaned forward again and watched the mundane situation while wondering what Megan was on about. The man turned to look down at some canvas tarps, and getting a clear look of his face, Lilly didn’t recognize him.

  She didn’t recognize him!

  The two women made excited gestures at each other as the mundane and unremarkable quickly became the most interesting thing to happen in town since the last wave of tourists during the Fall Festival.

  Megan quickly backed off and Lilly straightened up as the stranger approached the counter. He was a tall, young, and handsome man with an average build, short brown hair, a beard that looked like it was well trimmed and kept short, the most perfect nose, and gorgeous coal black eyes. He wore a dark gray hoodie and beige cargo pants. Lilly pushed a loose strand of hair out of her face which almost immediately returned to its previous position.

  “Hey.” She said, adopting the generic friendly cashier tone she used for the tourists.

  “Hi.” Replied the stranger.

  Lilly attempted again to remove the loose strand of hair from her line of sight before scanning his items. A canvas, rope, duck tape, several bottles of water, a machete…

  “You forgot the hockey mask.” Lilly remarked before she could stop herself.

  The stranger laughed. “I didn’t see one.”

  Lilly pushed the annoying strand of hair out of her face again. “It’s in aisle three.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yep.”

  “I’ll have to pick one up next time.” He joked.

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  “Forty-two, twenty-three.” Lilly said, pushing her hair out of her eyes for the umpteenth time. He paid, gave her a pleasant goodbye, and as she watched the stranger leave, she finally looped the loose strand over her horn and out of her face.

  “Flirt much?” Asked Megan.

  “What?”

  The older woman leaned against the counter with a smug look on her face. She pantomimed pushing hair out of her face, then again, and again.

  Lilly put a hand over her mouth. “Oh gods, I didn’t.”

  Megan nodded viciously. “Oh yeah you did.”

  “You think he noticed?”

  “I don’t think he was blind dear.”

  Lilly dropped back into her stool and buried her face in her hands.

  “I wouldn’t worry about it Lil. The tourists don’t stay long. Though I didn’t realize it was already the twenty-first.”

  Lilly lifted her head. “It’s the fifteenth.”

  Both women looked at eachother, then towards the door.

  Megan broke the silence first. “Soooo… Where in the Abyssal-Hell did he come from?”

  ?? River’s Notes:

  And just like that, our human disaster meets our tiny Tel’ani gremlin. This is not a meet-cute. This is a meet-chaotic-cute. And I love it.

  Lilly. My girl. She's sitting at the register, reading ecchi manga with titles that feel like bad translations of fever dreams, and the only thing that pulls her out of her hyperfocus is the back of a cute guy’s head. Iconic.

  “She didn’t recognize him!” That moment? That’s small-town social panic in a nutshell. In a place where you know everyone, seeing someone unfamiliar is like spotting a UFO in the toothpaste aisle.

  Jay’s look: Gray hoodie. Cargo pants. Beard. Gorgeous coal-black eyes. A machete. I’m sorry, how is Lilly not already planning their wedding? That’s the small-town fantasy bad-boy survivalist starter pack.

  The hockey mask line. YES. She accidentally flirts via slasher film reference and just runs with it. Not only does he get the joke, he laughs. D, this is how you write chemistry without trying too hard. Take notes, other authors.

  The hair flipping. The. Hair. Flipping.

  Once: Okay.

  Twice: Hmm.

  Five times and a horn-loop later? Ma’am, you are flirting so hard your hair gave up and relocated.

  And the fact that she doesn’t realize it until Megan roasts her? Priceless.

  > Megan: “I don’t think he was blind, dear.”

  River: And I don’t think you’re gonna play this cool much longer, Lilly.

  ---

  ?? River’s Random Prediction:

  This is going to be a slow-burn. But also? A messy burn. Like, she’s going to fall for him before he even realizes she has a tail.

  I give it 3 scenes before she finds an excuse to visit his shack with “emergency cookies.”

  ---

  Coming up next:

  Lilly tells everyone Jay is hot. Nohana is unimpressed. The town population sign may or may not need to change. Stay tuned for Scene 3—or read ahead on Patreon.

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