Matuscarantos

  I took out the 4 crystals I had left from our encounter with Izzy's golems. They gleamed and pulsed with soft blue light.

  Laying three down on the desk in front of me, I pinched the remaining mana source between my thumb and forefinger. I watch the glowing energy inside the crystal swirl and dance. It was mesmerizing. My mind went bnk.

  Even without my own conscious effort my mana reached out to cim the energy in front of it. It was right there, so close. It should be mine.

  The bnkness in my mind made me far more aware of the buzzing warmth of my own internal energy, filling me with a soothing vibration. A hum of a signal droning note. Notes of electrical stimulus also coursed through me, making me wonder how the two forms of energy were reted, before my thoughts went still again. Why shouldn't I add to myself?

  Then my mana tched onto the crystal I was holding and pulled.

  The new energy that filled my body was like having a drink of water after going without a drop during a full day's work. A cool breeze after being under the bzing suns. A heater during the freezing cold nights.

  I needed it, I had to have it, without it I felt I might even die. The primal parts of my brain recssified the mana as a vital resource necessary to my survival.

  The exact same cycle of thoughts and feelings that others had warned was the sign I was becoming addicted. From one crystal. I felt it, and I knew it was happening... and yet. My conscious mind awoke and struggled briefly, before it was overwritten by raw need.

  I didn't care. I couldn't care. I simply needed to keep going. Nothing mattered anymore other than this feeling.

  The mana flowed into me and I was awash in a sea of all the things that made life worth living. All the joys and sorrows. The bitter and the pleasant. Though I'd had very little experience with the good things, now I had several lifetimes worth in mere moments. And though I'd had too much of the bad things, I clung to each of them, finding them comforting.

  Even the pain was sweet.

  As the energy in the crystal ran out, a bone deep disappointment set in. I didn't even notice when my hand became empty.

  My breath caught in my throat. My heart pounded hard and fast, a driving drum. My mouth was dry, my tongue swollen. My brain itched, and my skin crawled. Tears rolled down my face. More.

  I needed more. Like I needed to breath. I must, I must...

  I began to reach for the next crystal without any real awareness of doing so.

  [ Warning: Stage I Mana Addiction detected ]

  [ Ability forcefully added at cost of energy recently absorbed: Mana Resistance ]

  [ Please only use Absorb Mana Source ability to drain mana crystals ]

  [ Direct contact with outside mana can have severe consequences ]

  [ Former User's Note: As horrible as the realization of Mana's nature is, you must increase your strength. Do not let fear cloud your judgement. The simple practice of moderation, and the built in filters of Absorb Mana Sources should be enough to keep you stable, and prevent repse. ]

  I slumped in the chair sweating profusely, I was hot and there were minor burns on my skin being irritated by my slightest motion. Not that I wanted to move.

  The Technomancer's System had saved me, from my own foolishness. My mind conjured an image of me strung out on mana desperately hunting for any source I could find. Debasing myself in the hope of finding more. Like the people I'd seen caught deeply in the clutches of dust or death sticks.

  I shuddered. "Thank you, System." I croaked out through my now cracked dry lips. It had saved me from a dreadful fate.

  I was embarrassed and disappointed in myself. At how easily I'd been subsumed by the need for mana. I'd never imagined, I could fall prey to this kind of trap.

  I looked at the remaining Mana sources recognizing them as what they were. Poison.

  A terribly useful poison.

  I closed my eyes and imagined striping down and rebuilding my speeder. Step by step, part by part, until my nerves stopped twitching, until my self recriminations faded into the background.

  Pal called out from outside the building. "Master are you well? Night is about to fall again."

  I opened my eyes, hours had passed. I had no desire to move right now. I might even ck the ability for now.

  "It's okay, I'll stay here tonight, Pal."

  "Very good. I'll be right outside the door if you need me."

  "Thank you, Pal." Not for the first time, I understood how lucky I was with finding the homestead and the Droids. How lucky I was to stumble into the Technomancer's System.

  But luck by its very nature couldn't be relied on, and it could go bad. I had to do better than rely on luck.

  No, I'd never before leaned on luck, I worked off my indenture on my own. I had it in me to work hard towards any goal. I could overcome this too. I had to tap into the determination and drive that I'd used before.

  I looked at the next Mana Source and cringed. I was afraid. But at least I had lived with fear for years now. It was nothing new, and I had long since mastered making myself do things despite my fear. Though I wouldn't call it courage, more like dispcement.

  I touched the next Mana Source and before my greedy mana core could react, I activated Absorb Mana Source.

  This time the flow of energy was merely slightly pleasant. The satisfaction of a part slotting in just right, instead of the hit of a fully completed project. The soul shattering longing, was reduced to the craving I might have for my favorite meal. I could easily ignore that, I'd already done it for years.

  The process took much longer and I felt that much of the energy was wasted. However, it was still more than enough to expand my capacity.

  With a crackling snap, My Mana Threshold had reached 2. The Mana Source now a dull lifeless gray crumbled away. Which expined what happened to the first two.

  I now generated 3 mana per minute and could hold up to 250 mana at a single time. I let the feeling of my body's new natural state register in my mind.

  [ You have gained the Ability, Sabotage ]

  [ You have gained the Ability, Upgrade Step I ]

  Sabotage, allowed me at the cost of 10 mana to cause a critical failure in an individual part of a machine. I could only target the same part with the ability once per day. I could however target other parts in the same machine.

  Upgrade Step I, allowed me at the cost of 25 mana to increase one factor of a part to it next logical level. I could upgrade it to the next stage of material composition, or the next stage of efficiency, or reduce its power draw, or anything really. However, any individual part could only be targeted once. Once period. Other upgrade abilities would no longer effect the part. I'd have to carefully consider when using it mattered enough.

  I nodded to myself, happy to have new abilities. My mind already working on how to integrate them into my routines.

  I looked at the two remaining Mana Sources, I felt none of the earlier draw. Was it because of the Threshold increase? Or my new Mana Resistance?

  But now I understood that they were absolutely dangerous. No wonder people were getting sick. The slightest bit of that energy being absorbed was horrible.

  I had thought I'd be different, immune, but I was wrong. I simply had better tools to deal with this new energy.

  I looked at the crystals again wanting to get rid of them, but I knew I couldn't.

  I'd try another source tomorrow.

  I cleaned up the nearby bedroom and ended up building a little nest on the floor. The bed was far too soft for me to rex. When I tried it, I felt like I was being swallowed. Not a good sensation for me.

  The floor was good enough as long as I had a bnket to rest on.

  Sleep came, but was filled with dreams of running away, or hiding.