O heavenly eye,

  Is your love conditional?

  Will you shame me if I confess to you my sins?

  At the Academy's alchemy boratory, students were already brewing some boiling green ooze in the giant cauldron in the back. Quite the regur assignment for newcomers. I hold my robe tight not wanting the book with written blood magic to accidentally fall, exposing itself to everyone in the room leading to me and the book getting tested to a new dissolving potion formu. I should have left it at the dorm, but there was an insecure feeling that someone might enter and find it, that had won over me. I set up my desk and waved to the other students that I knew there. I read the professor's letter and checked the nearby cabinets full of ingredients to see if I had everything I needed. Which I did.

  I hope it does not become the norm for professors to be absent and dump homework without expining the material. Professor Oleander, our Alchemy professor, mentioned some magical terms in css, but I have not come across these formus in the project he gave us. In my notes, nothing resembled what the instructions asked for. The theory of how ingredients interacted with each other, and their reaction is what will save me from a failing grade. Cassia refused to help me at first with my project because I quote from the letter from the professor he sent us:

  "Copying from other students is strictly prohibited. Each of you has been assigned a unique project, and cheating will not be tolerated under any circumstances. Let me crify that I WILL KNOW about any attempts to cheat. The project must be delivered to Professor Lanceote's cssroom by tomorrow morning. Students who fail to send their project on time will not pass."

  I was not even thinking about cheating before, but now I am thinking about it even less. Zephyr was extremely helpful by being moral support and being cute. My heart was still shaken by my brother’s letter, reviving unwanted memories, but there was still work to be done so I shoved those thoughts away again. Zephyr is beside me, so I have nothing to worry about while they are here helping me brew a potion of demon’s bane. It is a unique elixir that possesses a high potency against demons. It's said to surpass even holy water in its effectiveness, and it is an essential weapon against demon kind.

  “How would I even know if it works, do I have to find a demon and throw the potion at it?” I uttered to myself rubbing the back of my head. I had experience with them in my youth; I prefer not to repeat it.

  “We have to hope it works, right Zephyr?”

  “Kraaah,” they said, helping me give me one of the ingredients I needed.

  Soon after Zephyr was eating a piece of bread instead of assisting me after barely a few minutes of “helping” me. I stare at them. I hope they get fat and have trouble flying.

  ***

  Solstice had gone to sleep, and his sister Crescent, the goddess of the night and magic, opened her eye illuminating the night sky. Quite a beautiful sight by the window view of the boratory that was located on the fourth floor of the academy. Unlike Solstice being a full open eye, Crescent's form was that of a curved shaped eye like the moon herself with a purple iris.

  My desk was a mess and was starting to look like a mad wizard's hideout. I was sweating from the heat emanating from the burner beneath my potion's fsk. Hours had passed since Zephyr had flown back to their nest to sleep, and the other students had already finished their work. Cassia finished long ago, having to do a potion that transformed the person who drinks it into a cat.

  "Have you tried using the correct temperature on the burner and not heating it with a fire spell? Those are not consistent," she said, seeming to feel sorry for me.

  “Yes”

  “Did you use the correct amount of ingredients as per the instructions?”

  “Yep”

  “Have you tried to-?”

  “Yes Cassia, I have.” I interrupted her. “Why don't you check out if your potion works,” I sigh. “Leave me alone to see if I can work this out?” I told her frustrated.

  Cassia moved to where she was working, drank the potion she made without hesitation, and turned into a cute calico cat. She tried to do her best cat impersonation by trying to knock my stuff off my desk. I guess she was trying to make me feel better, but I was not up for her shenanigans. So, I cast a tiny water spell and sprayed her with water to woosh her away. One by one the other students finished their work leaving while I still struggled. Their remarks that they were going to go to the tavern to drink made me a bit jealous and started to regret studying transmutation magic.

  “Why did I take this css? Maybe father was right in what he said.” I mumble to myself, hoping nobody in the empty boratory heard me.

  The professor told me that I have a secret talent for alchemy, but it doesn't work for me. He gave me a special assignment to prove I have a talent in transmutation magic and alchemy. I had so much talent in the css that I was failing it. Every time I tried to brew something it always seemed to end up not working or exploding in my face. My only hope was getting a passing grade on the demon’s bane; the professor had agreed to repce my lowest scores if I was successful. “Prove to me that there is talent within you my boy.” He said the other day.

  It was still a mystery to me how I was going to test my potion. Now I'm starting to get a headache from my failed attempts at making a stupid potion. My brother's letter was still in my head and my father's words from the st time I saw him. “Make sure you return worthy and don’t waste your time or MINE!” Pressure was tight on me, making it hard to focus on brewing the potion. No matter how or what I tried the demon’s bane always ended up the wrong color and not golden how it is supposed to be. I mean you are not going to drink orange juice if it looks green.

  “Ok let me check the steps one more time, it should be right if it looks golden or not. Whatever color the potion ends up as is what is going to be presented tomorrow. I do not have time or energy to find out if it works or not,” I said as I kept talking to myself.

  I am sure Crescent, goddess of the night and magic, is suffering from watching me keep failing at this. I hope she pities me gives me a miracle and saves me from this torture. I have not prayed to her in a while so I doubt it will happen.

  After reading the instructions for the infinitieth time, the urge to commit the grave sin of murder came to me. The professor had written one of the ingredients wrong! It reads ‘Bloodroot,’ not whatever he wrote. I crushed the paper and threw it to the closed window, nding pathetically on the floor. I searched through each cabinet, each drawer, each closet, and on top of the shelves until my heart sank, as I realized that the bloodroot I needed for the potion was nowhere to be found. The first thing that came to mind was a bad idea, bloodroot is known for its use in potions due to its remarkable simirity to human blood without having to break any ws to gain human blood. Using blood magic is highly forbidden and punishable by death, a w written by the gods themselves, as the scriptures say.

  I got my wand out of the pocket of my robe, gathered my focus and thought of the ingredient I wanted to find, and cast a finding spell in search of the missing ingredient. Particurly useful when your dorm is a constant mess. A mystical green ghostly arrow appeared from the tip of my wand circling. Circling and circling. Nothing around the whole academy, which is the radius of the spell. I sighed again. The other student must have used it all earlier. But I was not going to give up. I got out of the academy and to the market to check if any shops were still open. The night was cold and the streets empty, the goddess Crescent doesn't warm us unlike Solstice does in the daytime. The little hope I had died out, like the flowers my sister always tries to take care of, as all of the shops in the market were closed. I might have lost track of time in my torturous assignment because I did not think it was that te in the night. Looking up I hid from the goddess Crescent's sight of her one eye, as I had only the option remaining.

  ***

  The gods always know what sins we commit but those who always see you sinning are the ones in the heavens, The god of the sun Solstice, the goddess of the moon Crescent, and the god of the sky Horizon. They are always present, they hear your curses, lies, and insults. The moment is said, guilt and shame are present the moment after. Until you say again and again, that the guilt and shame don’t seem to appear anymore.

  Out of sight I reached towards one of the cabinets and quickly grabbed a sharp knife. The bde of the knife reflected my eyes in the dim light of the room. As I held the knife in my hand, I took a moment to gnce at my other hand and thought about the cursed book containing blood magic hidden in my dorm. It cannot be that bad, it is the same as bloodroot. Elixirs like this should not even exist if they require…

  Blood.

  Blood magic exists and it is highly forbidden. However, the goddess of magic ought to not have created a type of magic if she had forbidden it. I should not be doing this anyway; they will kill me if they find out. I said in my head.

  Not even the critter in the night was heard. Was I really about to do this? All for a good grade? All for what? The memories of my constant childhood disappointments came to mind. My father says I don’t put any effort into my goals. I am consistently ending up in the mud after losing to my brother. “MAN, UP!” The memory of my father screams at me. Another memory came of me helping my sister with the sick, to them saying I was not doing enough. All I do is never enough. Never enough. All my tires end up in failure. I look at my pale eyes in the reflection of the knife’s edge. My sweaty hand shook while I was hesitating to cut my hand. My breathing is so heavy and my heart is beating hard.

  “Gods please forgive me for what I am about to do,” I said in a trembling voice.

  My heart was pounding harder, and I feared it might burst out of my chest. In the moment of terror, I closed my eyes making a swift motion and the sharp metal bde cut my skin. I let out a painful noise and dropped the knife from my hand. The knife cnked as it hit the floor. Pcing my hand over the fsk of the potion I let the blood drip from my wound drop into the potion.

  Drop by drop—drip by drip. My vital fluid spshed and darkened the demon’s bane; my hand stung even after covering it in bandages that soon grew red. I anxiously checked the correct temperature after adding the final ingredient to the mix. The fme of the burner heated the gss fsk, and the potion soon started to bubble and turn golden. “YES, I did it. I’m free from the misery of this bullish-”

  I suddenly bcked out.

  My vision was blurry, and the back of my head was killing me. The world spun disorienting around me while a strange sensation took over my body, leaving me disconnected from my own body. After a moment my senses came back to me from whatever trip they were and I found myself lying on the boratory floor covered in… the failed bck demon’s bane and broken gss.

  I wanted to tear up at what remains of my hard work, the wasted hours. The burned or the potion had blown up and the desk was covered in a growing fire. There was a sort of red liquid in my hands and… My hands. My hands were as red as my stained blood. Blood then became pure bck.