Knowledge is a blessing and a curse

  Ignorance is bliss

  Free from sin and guilt

  Awareness and consciousness leads to a life of pain

  At the Grand Library, the familiar smell of old books and magic hit me and Zephyr. The smell of libraries and new books is always particur. This was one of the pces I liked to be and rex the most, beside the river shore sometimes. The Grand Library was previously the wizard tower of the old castle, currently the Magic Academy, which spiraled up almost reaching the clouds in its impressive architecture. It was impossibly tall; it was visible from neighboring cities, and many travelers use it as a ndmark to guide themselves. Even with being part of the same building as the Academy, the Grand Library felt like it was its own section, apart from the Academy. Whenever you enter, all the city’s sounds end, and the sea of ancient tomes and hidden magic begins. While being the pinnacle of human knowledge, with everything that has been recorded, the only problem is finding anything. Because nothing is sorted, except the first 10th floors, where the librarians have tried to arrange them the best they can. But a true magic user knows how to find the thing they need in their cluster of magical things. I learned that from my mother. Is hard to think this was a part of a castle once, the only giveaway being the huge throne room-like hall that was now the librarian's desk.

  Jeanne, another student with whom I take some csses. She works as the librarian’s assistant, and was currently stationed at the reception, focused on her book she was reading. Meanwhile, the books on the desk organize and dust themselves in the air one by one. She is always a bit too cold, not caring much for other people, and it is better to be on her good side.

  “Good afternoon Jeanne, can you direct me to the section about curses or how to break a curse?” I politely asked her. Jeanne stopped reading her book and pced her displeased eyes on me. Her eyes widened at my sight. “Oh sure, one moment.” She closed her book and opened the desk’s cabinet, taking out the registry of the library. Meanwhile, I noticed the title of the book she was reading was ‘Fourth Feather’. “It’s on the section that is located on the third-floor… in section C. I recommend starting from the second to the fifth shelf. If anything, you know where to find me,” she answered with a hint of a smile.

  “Okay, thanks for the help,” I said, perplexed. Jeanne has never been this polite to me, she is usually annoyed when I keep bothering her with questions. I was unsure if she even recognized me. Maybe she recognized me because Zephyr is on my shoulder? There are not many people with crow familiars in the Academy. “Nice spell that you cast to make the books clean themselves; it saves time, I imagine. What spell is it?” I asked, wanting a spell like that to make my dorm clean for once.

  “To your surprise, I never cast any spells. The books decided they wanted to clean themselves and started floating and dusting themselves. I wonder if it’s a ghost doing it or the library itself.” She responded, staring at the flying silly book, joyful to be dusted off. “Anyway, I’m not compining. Don’t you have a css right now, Alex?”

  “I’m not skipping css; I just need to get the book I’m looking for.”

  “So skipping css? The rumors must be true, the demons have really corrupted you. So naughty. You have never even been te to any css as far as I know, even on days you are horribly sick, you still attend them.”

  Now the rumors have started, as I suspected. Although a bit te. I was expecting to be burned at the stake by now. It was technically true that I was skipping magical theology css right now, and I feel horrible about it, since I have never done anything like that before, but breaking the curse is top priority. Skipping css is the least bad thing I have done this week.

  “Yes, fine, I’m skipping css. Big deal.” I brush off. “What are these rumors saying about me anyway?” I giggled, twirling my hair with my fingers.

  “Well, you being the st one seen in the alchemy boratory, being missing for the past days, and being now a cute girl and all. I love the new look, by the way. Honestly, I think they are just jealous. Don’t think too much about them. Now, if you excuse me, I've got to get back to dusting these books. See you ter.” She said, picking up her novel and continuing to read it.

  “Not worrying about rumors about me being corrupted by the dark demons, easier said than done.” I sighed. “Thanks. See you ter.”

  “Kaw kaw,” Zephyr chirped.

  On the way up the section where Jeanne told me to go, I grabbed one, two, or three books that interested me, besides the one I was looking for. A novel titled ‘I Bleed Butterflies’ and a tome ‘The Lie of Myself’ about illusion magic, to practice my magic. “I don’t need these books right now. This is exactly why I got cursed.” I murmur. Zephyr patted my shoulder lightly with their cws. Up the stairs of the infinite library, and momentarily getting lost, I arrived at the section about curses, where some students were whispering behind one of the shelves.

  “I don’t think there is one,” said the male student.

  “Yes, there is. My brother told me he saw them the other night,” said the female student next to him.

  “If they were one in the city, people would have known by now.”

  “A cult would not make themselves-” she said, stopping mid-sentence when she noticed I had been eavesdropping on their conversation.

  They look at each other, then continue reading the book they have in their hand as if they were not gossiping about a cult being in the city. If they are saying there is a cult here, that means that the cursed book belongs to one of the cultists, which makes sense. I looped back again to search for the students who were talking earlier, but they were long gone. Julius said that there could be more demons, but the only demon is me. Being a secret cult is more possible, but I doubt it. But with all this fear and negative emotions might call a demon. Maybe there is just one heretic who lost his evil book and made it my problem.

  I continued my search. I found a few useful-looking books about curses, and went to one of the quiet private rooms the library offers on another floor. They were cozy personal study rooms that prevented sounds from outside from interfering with the peaceful reading without any interruption. Especially from the bells of the gods that are about to ring soon, but their ominous sound never reached my ears. “Yep, I’m safe here,” I say out loud. The private rooms also prevents the sound from inside the private rooms from being heard from outside. For that reason, doing stuff like premarital love making and other naughty acts are strictly forbidden here.

  ***

  I knew most of the concepts about curses. I have never cast one, except a simple one on a training dummy. But this book went far in detail about it. Far better than the pile of books I had in my dorm. Well, I did not have a whole book about curses like this. Did Professor Cross ever get cursed or a loved one? Is that why he is so knowledgeable about them? Taking into consideration Professor Cross's book, I have to read the foul book to understand how to break the curse. The only problem with that is that the cursed book is too ominous to read, having no regard for life at all, thinking about it sends chills down my spine. Even if I get rid of the book, I will be haunted by its knowledge. A horrible realization came into mind. If I break the curse and revert to a human. Will it turn me into a man? I recoiled at that thought, and fear came into my heart. I didn’t want to be trapped inside myself again. I will have to cast an illusion spell every day or drink potions to temporarily change myself. Maybe being a demon is better than what I was before? I doubt many people will say or agree with that. Yet there is a possibility that the cursed book is not reted to my turning into a demon. Maybe I have two curses? One from the book and the other when I cut myself in the alchemy boratory. That's when the transformation happened. Perhaps one of the gods cursed me because I used my blood?

  “ALEX!” Cassia yelled at me from behind like a jaguar jumping on its innocent, unsuspecting prey.

  I let out a girlish scream that I had never imagined that sound could come out of me. “What? Cassia! Are you trying to kill me!? What are you doing here?” I yelled at her. I thought it was another guard or a padin who was attacking me. She was so close to me, to the point of me being able to sense her magic. She could have ended me right there, if she wanted.

  “I have been standing behind you for like the past five minutes, while you read about curses and daydreaming every few pages. I got curious and a bit worried when you didn’t go to magic theology css, so I asked around for your whereabouts and found you here. Jeanne ratted you out that you were in here.”

  “I can skip css one time, it is not a big deal.” I lied, hiding my innocent guilt. “But when did you get here?” I look at her and then at my familiar acting suspicious. “Zephyr, why did you not tell me Cassia was here?” I asked my trusty bodyguard, who I can always count on.

  “I bribed them by giving them a piece of sweet bread. Want some?” she said, with a smug in her face. Zephyr tried to hide shamefully behind Cassia with pieces of bread still in their beak.

  “Sell out. Yes I want some bread, thanks.” The bread Cassia gave me was quite tasty and instantly made me forgive Zephyr.

  “Why are you researching curses? Did you get cursed? Does it have to do with your being a woman now?”

  “What? No! I'm not cursed, this is for a css.”

  “Oh, tell me what cursed you?”

  “I just told you I did not get cursed. Did you not hear me?” I protested, crossing my arms.

  “I did, but you are a terrible liar. I have known you for quite some time, and if you are reading Professor Cross's book, who is an expert in curses means you have something bad. Was it a demon? Like rumors are saying? Don't worry, I'm not gonna rat you out. What thing did you touch that you were not supposed to?” She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. “Are you in your time of month all the time because you have never had one before, and you are constantly bleeding, and it doesn’t go away?” she whispered with horror in her face.

  “What? No? Cassia, give me a minute, stop asking so many questions. I can barely keep up,”

  I took a deep breath to get my thoughts together. Cassia is my friend, she is the closest I have ever been with anyone. She accepted me for who I was without a doubt and even asked to help me to look more feminine. I trust her. But do I want her to be condemned with me? Will we share the same pits of hell when we die?

  “Ok.” I took a moment to gather myself. “But you must promise you are not going to overreact or panic,” I demanded.

  “You have my word,” she said confidently.

  “I am researching curses because I got cursed by a book, the one I showed you at the market that I bought a few days ago,” Cassia nodded. “That book cannot be destroyed, and every time I try to get rid of it, the book always comes back in my pocket where I first pced it, or nearby. Want me to give you a demonstration?”

  “Go ahead.”

  I opened the window of the private study room and threw it out. It fell down the Grand Library until I lost sight of it. I got slightly scared that I might hit someone.

  “Where did it nd?” Cassia asked, peeking out the window. Then, to her surprise, the book was in her hand. She screamed, throwing the book against the wall as if it had a cockroach. Zephyr fpped their wings, startled. “Did that thing just teleport? Isn't teleportation one of the most difficult magics to do? What's in that thing?”

  “Well-”

  ***

  Cassia was now sitting parallel to me at the table with her hand in a praying position over her face.

  “I told you that you would not like it, but you insisted on knowing what was in the pages,” I reminded her.

  “Yes, you told me, but I did not believe you, and I wanted to see for myself. I opened the book to a page about how to control someone’s movement by maniputing their blood, and if mastered, you can control their thoughts and mind as well. It wasn’t that bad until it got to the part where you can keep making the target of the spell fight forever, even past death, corpse rotting, and all. It had all those many unnecessary details, I swear I thought the eyes drawn in the book started blinking at me!” she huffed, pcing her head on the table, trying to forget what she read.

  “It has no author written on it. It must be the private tome of an evil wizard. I heard a rumor earlier that there may be cultists in the city. The book must belong to one of them,” I say. Her upbeat attitude was gone. I went over to her and asked if she was ok. We both share the same corrupt knowledge.

  “No!” she said, letting out her frustration. “I was going to ask you: Hey Alex, why don’t you go to our many professors that our Academy has, or any priest to help you with a curse? But now I am just an accomplice to someone who has a book that can get us all killed, even my dear aunt. They will probably burn the whole city… Alex dear, have you asked the person who sold you the book where they found it? That way, you can trace the bastard cultist who wrote it! Maybe that person is the owner of the book and wanted to curse you.”

  It had never occurred to me to investigate or even think of what Cassia had said, and I started to think she was smarter than me, or maybe I’m just an idiot.