Bada-bing, bada-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

  Oak and his friends exploded into the dimly lit room in blasts of pink smoke.

  “Toni!” Oak cried, and reached out his hand into the air, then swung his head from side-to-side to find her.

  “Toni!” Roy wheezed as he fell to the floor.

  “TONI!” Fig roared.

  The body lying on the floor twitched. She sat face first, arms back, and butt raised in the air. Her head had somehow found itself hidden underneath the rug the podium rested on top of. Toni groaned.

  “Augh…”

  Everybody rushed to right this wrong by pulling her out, sitting her up, and in Oak’s case, cleaning the dirt, and dust bunnies out of her hair.

  “Get out of there.” Fig said.

  “You don’t have to stand, just sit here for now.” Roy cooed softly.

  “How’s your face?” Oak said.

  She shook her head to temporarily clear the residual fog of dying to death.

  “I’m fine. Just hazy… How are you all holding up?”

  “Me? Fine.” Roy said, and turned to Oak. “Fine?”

  “Fine. Fig fine?”

  “I’m good, too.” Fig said softly.

  That’s when they took a moment to just sit for a second. They had died! Died… or something like that. And now they were alive and well in this church. With empty coin purses, slowing heartbeats, and minor scrapes long forgotten. It took them a bit to process all of these facts, and come back to reality. Well, this reality.

  Toni rubbed her thumb across one of the sharp edges of the pink crystal in her hand. It still glowed, and as she raised it up to get a better look, it belied its mysterious nature once again. It didn’t look all that special to Oak, but he wasn’t a crystal guy. He was a Human guy! One with interests that only tangentially related to this strange knick-knack.

  Thap. Thap. Thap.

  The sound of bare feet on tile and rustling cloth brought the team further out of the trance. Fig got to her feet and crossed her arms, readying herself for whatever came out of the adjacent room. What new threat awaited them in this dingy house of worship?

  Thap. Thap.

  A young boy—a child walked into the room with a yawn. He rubbed one eye with his hand sleepily, and peered at the four adults in front of him. He wore beautiful, old white robes with strange black patterns that trailed behind him. It was comically large on his small frame. He seemed to be swallowed up!

  Clarity filled his bright green eyes as he woke up more fully, and he nodded to himself.

  “Which one?”

  Oak, and Toni shared a look.

  “Which one… what?” Toni said.

  The boy cocked his head as he dragged his cavalcade of textiles with him. Stopping in the center of the group, he looked to each one with a discerning stare. And despite the terrible cowlick protruding from the side of his head, he spoke with assurance.

  “Death. This is your first.” He gestured behind him to the few padded seats there. “Sit, and I will record it.”

  “I see.” Roy immediately crossed the room, and sat down patiently. Following his lead, Fig, and Toni did the same, though Oak hesitated. He brushed the kid’s hair with his hand in an attempt to get it to lay properly.

  “Hmm.” Dissatisfied with his work, he brought out his left to help. “That’s going to stick out for a while—but I don’t have any product with me so I can’t set it right.”

  A flash of annoyance crossed the boy’s face, and he slapped Oak’s hands away.

  “Stop it! You just woke me from my nap!”

  Oak put his hands up, and backed away. His friends relaxed as he sat down next to him. Evidently seeing a child act child-like felt more natural.

  “What’s your name?” Fig prompted.

  The boy threw her a not-glare as he dragged himself around the room collecting his things. It was rather awkward. Because of his size, his robes weighed him down, and all the storage spaces were meant for larger—read adult—arms. He grunted as he lifted onto his tippy-toes to get an aged book.

  “Do you want help or—“

  “I got it.” The boy said.

  In short time, the book alongside a jar of ink sat atop the podium. Utilizing a precarious stack of mismatched boxes, the little Priest presided over Oak and his friends. He opened the huge tome, and uncorked the inkwell.

  “I’m Les.” He said.

  “Less than what?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Huh?”

  “I don’t have a last name.”

  Les stopped flipping through pages, and dipped his finger in the inkwell.

  “Let’s begin. Names, and most important [Skill].”

  “There a reason you're asking us?” Fig said. Irritation flashed across Les’ face again, but he schooled it quickly.

  “So we know what monsters are coming, If any are. Duh.” He sighed. “First deaths are so much work.”

  A door creaked as it opened and closed, and a woman carrying a basket looped on her shoulder entered.

  “Les! You awake? Mr Carr brought in some fresh whyrabbit meat so I made something special. Isn’t that exciting… Oh!” She stopped at the threshold to room, and looked at Oak’s group in surprise.

  “Mom! I’m working!” Les growled.

  “Sorry, sorry dear, I didn’t realize you had guests.” She looked Roy up and down, “Do you kids need anything? Looks like you just revived—oh, that can be unsettling! Here, try one of these.”

  She pulled back the cloth covering the basket and revealed the stuffed buns underneath. It was still warm enough to steam, and the sudden aroma of freshly baked bread made everybody’s stomach grumble. It had been hours since lunch, and Oak suddenly remembered he was famished. Even Les’s eyes zeroed in on the basket, though he did so with a frown.

  Roy pulled out one and took a bite. He smiled a bit before he looked a bit wide-eyed at his friends.

  If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  “You should eat as well.”

  “There’s certainly enough to go around.”

  “I have deaths to record. These are my Priest duties!” Les said, voice rising.

  “I estimate we can eat and talk at the same time.” Toni replied, eyes round. She bit into hers, and closed her eyes to savor it. Seeing this, Roy did the same.

  “Here, sweetheart, I can feed you while you write.” After Fig and Oak had plucked up one each, she skirted the podium. “Oh, Les I didn’t notice! I’ll need to comb this down. Don’t mind me!”

  “Mmm. Primary [Skill],” He reluctantly took a bite from the proffered food, “amd nameph.” He pointed to Fig first, since Roy’s eyes were still closed, and gestured for her to approach. She shrugged, and walked over to lean on the podium. She took a large bite out of her bun and spoke around the delicious meat.

  “You can call me Fig Walker. I can’t say what my primary skill is, since it would be quicker to name the things I can’t do.” She held up a couple fingers from her free hand. “Crying, whining, moaning, and playing the clarinet. Need help spelling clarinet?”

  Oak, and Toni clapped in good humor at her boast. Fig shot them a grin, then finished off her food. She reached into the basket, and plucked up another.

  “Wow! So sure of yourself, I like you.” Les’ mom said with a wide smile. Les himself wasn’t impressed.

  “This is going to take forever.” He grumbled. He grabbed Fig’s sleeve and pulled her hand closer. With his ink-stained finger, he drew a pattern on the back of her hand, and ended with a dot. The design came to life like a sunset, and sparkles of red sprang from the ink, and fell like confetti.

  If that surprised Fig—and each of her friends—then what came next made her jolt! A scroll fluttered into existence just within reach. It was like the one that appeared when they first landed in this world. It shimmered like the colorful swirls in a bubble, and Fig read over the words in an instant.

  “What was that!?” Toni sputtered. “Fig what does it say?”

  Les’ mom rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “You four aren’t from around here, are you? That’s surprising. Even more so if you haven’t seen your [Skill] List until now!” She patted Les excitedly. “Isn’t this so interesting, hun? I’m so excited to hear what DLC they are from!”

  The boy’s eyes widened, and his solemn act cracked at the revelation. He stared at Fig “Was it the Gunslinger’s—or, or were you taken from Day Never Ending?”

  “Oh that would be wild! Though the most common one is Heartthrob for obvious reasons. Tell me, Is that where you’re from?”

  “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down!” Fig said. “You’re throwing a lot of things at me at once. Tell me what the deal is with this thing first.” She swung her hand to tap the scroll a bit, but it fluttered out of the way.

  “Oh.” The shine in Les’ eye dimmed once again, and Oak felt a sudden pang of sadness at the sight. His Priestly veneer back on, the boy explained. “It’s not the same here in Main. To become a good grown-up, every person learns [Skills], and makes them strong, or makes them… skillier.”

  “[Skills] can grant extra expertise.” Les’ mom clarified, and held out some food for her kid.

  Les took a bite, and gestured to Fig’s Scroll. “Dats whad dif if frm.”

  “Don’t speak with your mouth full.” She gently chastised. He gave her a look of annoyance, then gulped it down.

  “This has all the [Skills] you got, and their level. What’s the first one?”

  Fig turned so that the floating scroll was in view of Les and his mother.

  “[Quick on the Uptake] - Level 0 (0): For every [Skill] Feat earned, gain one extra.”

  “WHAT!?” Les yelled, and slipped from his tower of boxes and tumbled to the floor.

  Fig rushed to help him up with his mom, but he seemed totally fine. His robes were rather cushy.

  “Found a cockroach in your undies?” Fig asked. “What are you so riled for?”

  “Cockroaches hide in undies?” Les said, horrified. His mom frowned at Fig, and she in turn winced.

  “No! Sorry, I didn't mean anything by that.”

  Les rubbed his head as his mom explained.

  “Feats are how [Skills] are progressed. Every time you accomplish something on a grander scale with a learned [Skill], you gain a star. The higher that level gets, the more advanced the [Skill].”

  “Wait, then--” Toni said. “That means that Fig is basically twice as strong as any other person without [Quick on the Uptake?]”

  “No.” Les’ mom readjusted the boxes, and put her son back on top of them. “Each Feat is more difficult to accomplish than the last, and so each Level leaves a larger gulf behind it. In the beginning the effects will be mild but if you manage to get enough Stars…”

  Les gave her a wide-eyed look brimming with energy. “You would be a Hero! Even huger and powerfuller than anybody else! You could destroy a whole army with one arm—or kill the biggest monsters with one hand—or—I heard there was this one who could do a mega fart that—”

  “Excuse him…” The woman put her hand over the boy’s mouth for a moment. “It’s the sort of [Skill] that can break far beyond normal limits.”

  Fig looked between the two for a moment, then back at her [Skill List]… then a grin slowly crept up her cheeks.

  “I like the sound of that!”

  This time Oak cheered when he clapped, and the other’s joined him with equal fervor.

  “That’s our girl!” Toni shouted! Fig stood taller as her friends inflamed her ambition, and confidence.

  “What else have you got?” Oak called. Fig turned her body so her friends could see the second [Skill] on the list. She tore a chunk of bread and chowed down.

  [Throw] - Level 1 (2)

  “Woo!” They cheered again, and Fig gave them a bow.

  “Come on, you’re up next. Show us what you got!”

  “Me first!” Toni said, and bounded up to the podium. She snatched another bun “What do I have to do?”

  Les was being very Priesty, but this time the light in his eyes didn’t dim for a second. Even if his face was solemn.

  “Everybody learns how to summon these as kids. It’s not that hard, you just think about it super hard and it comes out. It will take a while, so give me your hand.” He dipped his finger in ink again, and drew, and dotted that pattern.

  Another scroll fluttered into existence, and Les, and his mom’s eyes bugged once again.

  “Oooh!” She gave her friends a mischievous smile, and turned around.

  [Quick with the Uptake] - Level 0 (0)

  [Analyze] - Level 1 (2)

  “No way!” Fig said in delight! She hopped onto her feet, and hugged Toni fiercely.

  “Hahaha, Looks—ACK—like you can’t go off on your own after all!”

  Spinning with her friend in her arms, Fig looked to Oak and Roy.

  “Get up there, Let’s see what you learned!”

  “Certainly.” Roy shot to his feet, and copied what Toni did, including grabbing another serving of dinner.

  Les wiggled on his mountain of boxes happily as he drew the pattern a third time. His mother put a hand to her mouth in disbelief.

  [Quick with the Uptake] - 0 (0)

  [Dodge] - Level 2 (4)

  “Woah! That’s so cool!” Toni said, and yanked Roy by his hand to join her and Fig with a dance. Oak grinned. He loved them so much. This day had been a lot of things. Bewildering, terrifying, concerning, fun. Closing it off with dinner and a show with his friends felt like the perfect ending. He got to his feet, and approached the boy vibrating with energy.

  As Les dipped his finger yet again, Oak asked a question.

  “Uh… Hey. How can you do this anyways?”

  Les nodded. “It’s one of my [Skills!] I learned it when I first started training to be a Priest. It’s part of the duties of those in the Church of Patches to help people with their [Skills]. We keep the closest notes out of everyone, so it's super important!” He finished the final dot with a flourish, then looked up expectantly.

  Oak’s hand stung.

  “Agh!” he sucked in a sharp breath as the sunset glowing from his hand grew too bright to look at. He lifted his other to block the light, and couldn’t help but yelp in pain! “OW!”

  The light winked out, leaving black motes drifting to the floor. His [Skill List] fluttered to life, and the sight of it made Les go pale. It didn’t shimmer like the others’ had. Instead, it was splotchy and black, as if someone had dumped the contents of a witches cauldron over it.

  “Quality Assurance, here my plea.” Les and his mother whispered together. The Priest turned to Oak with fear in his eyes. “You don’t have any [Skills] at all. You never ever will. I’m—I’m sorry.” Tears filled the child’s eyes, and he dove into his mother’s arms. Boxes scattered, forgotten.

  She looked on in pity, as she gently scratched Les’ back. “I think you should go. I’ll send you the bill for the food later.”

  Stunned, he stumbled back. He brought his hand to his face, and looked to his friends. They all looked at him with concern, and confusion. This… this couldn’t be happening! Without the ability to learn [Skills] like the other’s, he couldn’t help them get home, or go with them to dangerous places… Without [Skills]…

  He would be left behind.

  “No.” He whispered, and stumbled to them. As he fell to his knees, Oak was blessed with a single ray of hope, in the form of half a dozen hashed-together documents.

  Player,

  As consequence of our actions, your game has been irrevocably altered to your detriment

  We apologize in the strongest terms possible.

  As recompense for our failures, we have allocated a deprecated system which may alleviate the upcoming difficulty.

  This offer is exclusive.

  Additionally, you have been given a special allowance to use in conjunction with this system.

  Use it well.

  After he read them, the scrolls fluttered away into non-existence. Followed by the appearance of another, more official looking scroll.

  Achievements Unlocked!

  On the corner of the title, sat a large, red seal. As his attention focused on it, another scroll opened up next to this one.

  OverAchievements Created! - For every unlockable Achievement, the Player may unlock 1 extra Achievement beyond Intended limits.