Blorbo groaned. Are you serious right now? Finance?! Who in their right mind would be willing to learn such a thing? How is this fun and mysterious?
“Sounds so fun and mysterious!” Lena responded cheerily. “I would love to learn such a thing!”
Lena… you belong to a psychiatric ward…
“Most excellent!” the Mage excimed. “To truly understand business liquidity, you must first learn the flow of capital, ze ebb and flow of assets—like ze lifeblood of magic itself!”
Lena, eyes wide, nodded as if she were absorbing the most profound lesson of her life. “I can’t wait! What do I do first?”
The Mage cpped his hands, his robes swirling dramatically. “Ah! Ze first step in mastering the secrets of financial magic: Ze Ledger of Endless Prosperity.”
Oooh. Sounds magical. Maybe he’ll cast a spell for the numbers to add up themselves without jotting down a word.
Throughout the next hour, Lena sat down and did ledger entries for the mage. No magic involved.
What am I going to do to kill time for the next hour?
After about five minutes, even the robed mage seemed like he was starting to get bored. He ransacked the drawers before pulling out a thick book. Blorbo squinted and got a good look at the title.
The name of the book was The Ladder of Prestige: Understanding the Tier System and How to Rise Above the Rabble.
Tier system? What in the ever-loving cabbage is a tier system?
Blorbo had never heard of it before. Was this some kind of ranking structure? Some arbitrary nonsense that dictated who got to walk around like they owned the pce while the rest were stuck in eternal NPC status?
The robed mage picked up the book while Lena continued scribbling down the answers to basic data entry questions. He flipped through the pages zily, his eyes scanning over the text without much interest, all the while mumbling something intelligible.
Doesn’t look like he’s doing this for entertainment.
Without warning, the mage smmed the book down onto the surface of a chair. The impact sent up a small puff of dust.
And it just so happened that the book was now open directly in Blorbo’s line of sight.
He could read every single word, clear as day, whether he wanted to or not.
The title at the top of the page read:
“Tiers, Titles, and Triumphs: A Guide to Brute-Forcing the Ladder of Influence.”
What is this? Nobody just randomly flips through the pages and sms the book in front of a table.
Does he… know about me?
A notification appeared before his vision.
[NEW SIDEQUEST AVAILABLE: The Path to Influence (1)]
Objective: Read through the open pages of Tiers, Titles, and Triumphs: A Guide to Brute-Forcing the Ladder of Influence.
Reward: +1 PER
Prerequisite: None
Failure: None
… Well, free stats are free stats.
So he began to read.
On the Proper Order of Skill and Station
In all civilized nds, the great and learned have, through trial and wisdom, devised a Hierarchy of Competence—a system most just, whereby men and women of craft may be assigned due rank according to merit, rather than by the loudness of their boasts.
The Ranking of Disciplines
Those who would be counted among the worthy shall be judged through rigorous academical examination, trials of fieldwork, and the honorable proving of one’s mettle in contests both sanctioned and severe. Through these means, a practitioner’s skill is given measure, and he or she shall be assigned a standing among the recognized orders: E, D, C, B, A, and S.
It is decreed that all apprentices, no matter how vaunted their skill, begin their tenure at E rank, should they undertake proper instruction within an approved institution. This, of course, ensures a level pying field, for without structure, even the most absurd of chartans might decre themselves masters.
Yes, heaven forbid anyone rise through merit alone. Bureaucracy must reign supreme.
The text was written in an overindulgent, pompous tone, as if the author had been paid by the word and was determined to sound as authoritative as possible. But it was entertaining for Blorbo. His gaze trailed down further.
On the Recognition of Authority
The governance of each discipline is entrusted to institutions most venerable, their purpose being the maintenance of order and the weeding out of frauds. Those who do not bear formal accreditation are naught but unranked commoners, whose talents, if any, remain unproven and unworthy of serious regard (with certain exceptions, as we shall get to in due time). The grand overseers of each calling are as follows (Table Duelists, Orators, Alchemists, and Forgers are not to be listed here, as they belong to non-combatant csses, while Cultivators heed a different set of cssification):
Mages – The Grand Mage Order of EMRCAR (The only ranking body worth a modicum of respect.)
Light Padins – The Sanctified Assembly of Lumenhold (Zealotry given an official office.)
Vocalysts – The Reverberant Bastion of Unyielding Echoes (A school filled with battle-hardened opera singers, war chanters, and screaming berserkers who think “subtlety” is a banned word.)
Knights – The Royal Chivalric Court of Caerfort (A glorified drinking club for sword-swinging brutes.)
Rogues – The Umbral Concord of Nine (Point Five) Daggers (Criminals, but with business cards.)
Maniquists – The Esoteric Guild of Artificery (Tinkerers too self-important to call themselves craftsmen.)
Sheesh. This guy certainly had opinions.
Wait. Are ‘Vocalysts’ battle... singers?
And what is a ‘Maniquist’? I need to read on to find out.
A Matter of True Rank
Among those who bear arms, none are more vocal than the Knights, who, despite their ceaseless bellowing about honor and valor, have yet to produce more than one member worthy of an A-rank title in all known history—at least, when measured against cross-discipline sanctioned testing.
This, of course, has not prevented them from assigning S-ranks amongst themselves, as if titles granted through mutual back-patting held any weight beyond the walls of their ale-drenched halls.
Blorbo continued reading, eager to see what other snderous wisdom the author had to offer.
On the Art of Subterfuge and Those Who Call Themselves ‘Rogues’
While one might scoff at the notion of officially ranking those whose very profession revolves around deception, the Umbral Concord of Nine (Point Five) Daggers has, through shadowy means, established itself as the foremost body in governing the proficiency of thieves, spies, assassins, and other such individuals of questionable moral fiber.
Unlike the ughable Knighthood, whose members hoist arbitrary titles upon themselves with the same care as one chooses a tavern nickname, the Rogues boast four verifiable S-rank members—the second-highest count among any known css. It is a grave mortification that these talented individuals resort to a life of shameless rceny, but the bulk of them remained unabashed of their crimes. The most notorious of them all thus far: Edvin Wan Cleef.
Oho. Now this is getting good.
A man whose cunning and skill were narrowly and sufficiently profound, he single-handedly infiltrated the Floating Tower of Coocoo, a fortress belonging to the Chicken Archmage of Storms.
With naught but a set of lockpicks and an enchanted cloak of silence, he outmaneuvered an entire council of aging poultry wizards, evaded detection from the dreaded Egg-Seers of the High Roost, and stole the Celestial Feather of Skycluck, a relic so powerful it was said to command the very weather itself.
Even now, the skies above his st known location remain in a state of ceaseless, vengeful storm, for the High Roost has never forgotten—
The passage ended.
What.
WHAT.
That was the most insane thing he had ever read, and it just ended THERE?
Blorbo tried to turn the page.
Nothing happened.
He tried again.
Still nothing.
Oh, right.
I HAVE NO HANDS!
WHAT IS A ‘MANIQUIST’?!
[SIDEQUEST COMPLETED—The Path to Influence (1)]
Reward: +1 PER
How does it feel reading a book inside a book?
NameBlorboRaceAnimated Furniture (Table)CssNoneLevel2EXP49/50HP14/30MP2CP21STR11END16AGI23PER16SkillsAppraisal (Level 1)
Adjustable Angle (2 Degrees)
Opportunity Sense (Level 1)
Surface Agitation (Level 1)
Synchronized Sitting (Level 1)
Forked Tongue (Level 1)
Massive Leap Under Duress (Conditional)
Retribution Counter (Level 1)
AuraUseless Gloved Fool (Permanent)
InventoryA Pair of Wooden-Colored Socks
