Chapter 21: The Art of Hacking and Having a Death Wish
Lazaro sat cross-legged on the ruined carpet, typing away on his portable terminal like he wasn’t covered in sweat and trauma.
Grim, meanwhile, lay face-down on the floor, contemplating the universe and all of its stupid choices.
Grim: "How long."
Lazaro: "Huh?"
Grim, without lifting his head: "How long until we have access to the security system?"
Lazaro: "I dunno, maybe—" (checks progress bar) "An hour."
Grim: "AN HOUR?!"
Lazaro: "Or, like, ten minutes if I rush it."
Grim: "THEN RUSH IT."
Lazaro: "Bro, do you know what happens when you rush hacking?"
Grim: "We win faster?"
Lazaro: "We go to prison faster."
Grim rolled over onto his back, groaning.
Grim: "I hate this mission."
Lazaro: "That makes two of us."
—
Five minutes in.
Lazaro: "Alright, making progress. I’ve bypassed the firewalls, decrypted two of the access keys, and—"
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Grim: "I don’t care, just tell me how close you are."
Lazaro: "About 80%."
Grim: "Good. That means we have exactly twenty seconds before something goes wrong."
Lazaro: "Don’t jinx it."
The door burst open.
Grim: "I KNEW IT."
—
A guard stood in the doorway.
But this wasn’t just any guard.
This was THE GUARD.
The one from the vents.
The terminator.
Grim: "NO."
Lazaro: "OH, COME ON."
Guard: "We meet again."
Grim: "WHY WON’T YOU DIE."
The guard cracked his knuckles.
Guard: "Because I do yoga."
Grim: "THAT'S NOT HOW YOGA WORKS."
—
The guard lunged.
Grim screamed.
Lazaro kept typing.
Lazaro: "YOU COULD HELP, YOU KNOW."
Grim: "I AM HELPING." (dodges punch) "I’M PROVIDING DISTRACTION."
Lazaro: "YOU'RE PROVIDING COWARDICE."
Grim: "SAME THING."
—
The fight continued.
Grim dodged left, right, up, then directly into a wall.
WHAM.
Grim: "Ow."
Lazaro: "Are you dead yet?"
Grim, face-down: "Emotionally, yes."
—
Then.
A miracle.
Lazaro: "I GOT IT."
Grim, lifting his head slightly: "Huh?"
Lazaro grinned, turning his screen to Grim.
The security system access was unlocked.
Grim, through the pain: "Oh my god."
Lazaro: "Oh my god."
Guard: "Oh my god."
Pause.
Grim: "Why are you saying ‘oh my god’?"
Guard: "I don’t know, I got caught up in the moment."
—
Then they ran.
Again.
Like hell.
—
Back through halls.
Back through staircases.
Back down the ten cursed floors they had just climbed.
Until finally—
They crashed into -15, panting, sweating, and half-dead.
Grim: "Lazaro."
Lazaro: "Yeah?"
Grim: "If I ever do something this stupid again—"
Lazaro: "You will."
Grim: "—slap me."
Lazaro: "Noted."
And then, for the second time that night—
They breathed.
End of Chapter 21.
