In the early morning of Friday, a car thief raced down the streets in his stolen vehicle, with a police car in hot pursuit.

  The thief grinned as he swerved back and forth through obstacles in the road. The 'obstacles' were, of course, several civilians and fellow cars.

  “Hahahaha!" The thief ughed triumphantly as he made a particurly sharp turn, nearly hitting a crossing kid. While the thief wouldn't have cared about running the kid over, it would really have fucked up his chances if he got caught as a murderer rather than a thief.

  Thankfully, before the child could become a sptter of spilt blood and ruptured flesh across the road, a blur of navy scooped the kid up in his arms while barely dodging away.

  "Thanks, bud!" The thief shouted as he sped away. "You're a real hero!"

  As he tried to race further, there was a sudden impact to the car side on his right. He then turned to see that he wasn't alone in the car.

  “Who are you?!” he yelled.

  Despite being early morning and the sun shining brightly, the figure was drenched in darkness. The only thing catching light was the metal sarcophagus on the top of its body; the thief could see his reflection in it. The bck mass engulfed the passenger seat and extended its reach toward the dashboard.

  Suddenly, it turned toward the driver, staring at him for an agonizingly long moment, boring holes into the thief’s skull.

  Then it spoke. “Sweet ride you got yourself here!”

  “It’s you!” The thief moved to draw a gun, but it was punched out of his hand. The thief released the steering wheel and clutched his hurt hand while screaming in pain.

  Luckily, the masked viginte quickly took over the wheel, steering the car to a stop. Soon, the car was surrounded by the pursuing police car, along with reinforcements.

  "This is the Fuyuki Police Department!" A female officer spoke into her megaphone as various officers aimed. "Open the door and stick your arms out!"

  A door opened immediately, causing the officers to gasp in arm and then mutter in confusion as the armoured being stepped out, dragging the groaning thief out with him.

  Then, in full view of the spectators, he dropped the thief in front of the female officer and greeted her. "Good morning, Officer Yomikawa." He said over the thief's moaning. "Sorry if this counts as excessive brutality."

  "Don't make it sound as if you're one of my officers." Yomikawa nodded, sending officers to cuff the thief and haul him into a cruiser. "Now then. I'm obligated to arrest you, but..."

  "Don't worry about it," the viginte waved his arm ckadaisically. "I'll make it as gringly impossible as usual for you to do so." He wiped out a grappling hook out of nowhere and fired at a nearby building.

  Yomikawa sighed as her ponytail blew hair into her mouth, watching as the mysterious man quickly became a speck. "Someone take that car back," Yomikawa ordered. “Also, send a paramedic to the kids that this bastard nearly hit."

  (…)

  I leap across buildings as I flee from the crime scene. While I did stop a thief from recklessly driving and getting away with what he stole, vigintism is still a crime. But it's not like this is the first time I’ve had to evade the cops.

  The force after me is less than I was expecting. Fuyuki isn’t the most crime-den city in Japan, so it’s not like they’ll have many on demand. It also helps that I try to work with the police and only step in when I think it’s necessary. It doesn’t stop the few hotshots or those married to the w from wanting me behind bars.

  They’ll have to try harder than driving cars around where they think I am. All I have to do is freerun over tall buildings to confuse them. Then I’ll enter a building, change and be on my merry way-

  WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL

  ‘Shit’ I thought to myself. I recognize that familiar sound of cutting the air. I look over my shoulder to see a police helicopter.

  ‘Of fucking course they have a chopper.’ I thought, breaking into a sprint and reevaluating my options.

  My movements are being tracked now, which means the cars chasing me are going in the right direction. This makes exiting through a building impossible.

  Fuyuki isn’t that big, so even if I make it to the water, which is unlikely, I have to either escape somewhere else or wait until the heat dies down.

  ‘Desperate times call for desperate measures.’ I thought as I ran into an empty office building. I jump down the stairs until I get to the finished floor. Then I rushed into a cubicle.

  ‘Police are on me. Requesting immediate evac.’ I called out.

  ‘Kinda in the middle of something right now.’ I hear back.

  ‘Is it really that important? I doubt whatever it is can be held off for a moment.’ I reasoned.

  ‘In the grand scheme of things, no, but I would have preferred to be left alone. Plus, we’ve never tried this before.’ They countered.

  ‘This is as good a time as any then!’ I thought. ‘And I’m very much out of options.’

  ‘Do you hear yourself?’ The voice questioned. ‘Fine, but know that I despise this idea.’

  ‘Noted.’ I answered. ‘Activating resonance.’ I control my breathing and reach further into nothingness.

  ‘Activating resonance.’ I hear back. ‘Pnting root. Extending the olive branch.’

  ‘Beginning merge sequence.’ I fall further into the abyss. My body fades into nothing. My mind joins until-

  BAM

  My head hits my desk as I lose control of my body for a moment. I look around to see everyone looking at me, with one girl looking at me with a smug face, before matching the crowd.

  The teacher looked at me before returning to a watchful face. I haven’t cheated on a test before, and I don’t pn on doing so now.

  I’ve already taken enough time to be considered a normal amount for my age group. I want to be seen as a prodigy in science, not every school subject.

  It doesn't take long to hand in my paper since I have nothing else to do. I let my mind wander.

  It’s been a long time since I possessed this body and made a life here. It’s not long in the grand scheme of things, but I can feel the time pass.

  My retionships have been going well. Nobody close to me wants to kill me or has died, which is a win in my book.

  On the Thaumaturgical side of things, I haven’t made much progress. My Projections, Reinforcement and Structural Analysis spells have been getting better. Hell, I’ve started practicing Alteration.

  Beyond that, however, little has changed. The Muramasa Crest hasn’t been giving me the know-how to use the spells within it, so I’ve had to decipher the diaries to get clues. Gilgamesh has been giving me commissions, but I still get them wrong. Kiritsugu was a bad teacher, intentionally in the original universes but unintentionally in this one.

  Because of all of this, I’ve been forced to branch out into something else to stop myself from pteauing. Years ago, I asked Kiritsugu if he could get some books reted to disguises. He made good on that promise, and I’ve been practicing for a while. Most aren’t magical and could be found in a library or bookstore, but the thought counts. Plus, some of them would get me weird stares, which would affect my reputation negatively, but the story of how Kiritsugu got it was hirious.

  The next thing I’ve been doing is-

  BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

  Huh, css is over. Finally, it’s tiring to blend in with people you’re 20 years older, not that I’ve had much experience in the matter.

  I walk out of the school building and see a bck car. The Fujimura family has been escorting me to and from school for a while now. I wonder what kind of car...

  No way… Is that a?

  I jog to get a closer look. I rub my eyes and pinch myself. Bck four-door saloon, four headmps set into rounded front fenders with a vaned grill, and the famous Jaguar statuette.

  A Jaguar Mark X. The first car I ever bought for myself.

  When I was young, I always walked where I needed to go or made arrangements to be driven. It was the same when I was older, except I needed to travel longer distances. But when I was a kid and saw that car...

  I maintained it and never put too much strain on it. It was one of my most prized possessions. It’s a shame what happened to it with everything else.

  Eventually, someone stepped out of the car—a Japanese man in a full suit. He went around the car and opened the door. Out came Raiga Fujimura with an incredible grin on his face.

  “So! Whatcha think?” He asked.

  “What’s the occasion?” I answered with another question.

  “Can’t I spoil my favourite grandson?”

  “I’m not reted to you by blood nor w, and if I were, wouldn’t I be your only grandson?” I raised an eyebrow at Raiga’s antics, where he only ughed.

  “Ya too smart for your own good, you know that?” Raiga said after his ughter died down. He went back into the car.

  “Intelligence can never be a curse, plus it's kind of my thing.” I said as I entered the car. I took a moment to appreciate the interior.

  This was the st Jaguar with abundant standard woodwork, including the dashboard, escutcheons, window trim, rge bookmatched fold-out rear picnic tables, and a front seat pull-out picnic table stowed beneath the instrument cluster.

  When I closed the door, I noticed the air conditioning. ‘So this is one of the models where you could’ve added A/C .’ When I look toward the front seats, I see a gss division, soundproofed, of course.

  ‘A car fitting of its vilinous reputation... Wait a sec.’

  “You didn’t choose this car because of my comment earlier, right?” I asked.

  “Ya mean the one where ya said that if I’m gonna be obvious in running a mafia, I should look the part? Of course not!” Raiga said. I sigh.

  I look out the window as we drive along. Knowing Raiga, he will probably take a long way to mess with me. As for what skit he’ll be running, it is beyond me.

  “So, how goes the businesses? Any problems?” I asked. Raiga’s posture changed.

  “We have a bit of a rat issue, but beyond that nothing,” he answered.

  “Oh, do you need to call an exterminator?”

  “No need, he already knows,” he winked, and I nodded.

  "Well, I hope that gets taken care of soon,” I said. ‘New assignment.’

  We continued chatting about nothing, with not just Raiga but many members of the Fujimura trying to and failing to mess with me.

  By the time I get home, the sun is approaching the horizon. I wave Raiga and his goons away and head inside.

  I don’t have much time before making dinner, so I have to be careful with my time. Homework will never be an issue, so I don’t have to do it yet. Magic training can be done at night, so it’s not like I’ll be losing out on it.

  I’ll do a quick workout. My body might not handle weight training yet, so I’ll focus on cardiovascur endurance and martial arts training. For this week, I’ve been doing Bruce Lee’s fitness program from ‘Tao of Jeet Kune Do’.

  Eleven exercises, done three times each for 30 seconds and resting for 15 between each exercise. The exercises are alternating lunges, push-ups, running in pce, arm circles, high kicks, deep knee bends, side-kick raises, twisting sit-ups, waist twisting, leg raises, and forward bends.

  25 minutes of working out get me a sweaty body and a racing heart. Now for the supplementary train-

  DING DONG

  ‘Crap, they're already here?’ I thought as I walked to the front door. I open the door for my guests.

  Standing before me are Rin Tohsaka, Sakura Matou, and Shinji Matou.

  “What's on the menu today, Emiya?” Shinji asked.

  “You haven't even stepped in, and you're asking for food,” Rin said.

  “Pardon the intrusion,” Sakura said.

  “You don't have to be so formal, Sakura, and unfortunately I don't know what to eat as I haven’t started yet,” I answered. It’s subtle, but everyone fttens as I finish.

  “Um… If you’d like... I could help?” Sakura offered. I smile.

  “Of course, any meal suggestions?”

  “I vote gyūdon!”

  "Sigh, I would like chūkadon.”

  “Um, can we have baked Katsudon?”

  “Hmm… It’s not like we have school tomorrow, so let’s have all three!” The trio cheered, and we got to work.

  First, we need the ingredients.

  For the gyūdon, we need half an onion and a green onion, or scallion. The sauce will be made from half a cup of dashi, two tablespoons of sake, two tablespoons of mirin, three tablespoons of soy sauce, and a tablespoon of sugar, but it’s up to taste. The garnish will be pickled red ginger. Last but certainly not least is the beef.

  “Hey Shinji, which do you prefer, rib eye or chuck?” I asked.

  “Which one do you have?” Shinji asked, prepping the rice cooker. I opened the fridge and got him to look inside.

  One of the shelves was rammed full but efficiently packed, with meats of all kinds.

  “Did you rob every meat store in town?”

  ““Shinji!””

  “What!? Look at it! It’s as if he butchered the butcher.”

  “It sure felt like it. All I did was give some tips for cooking and some ideas for running their businesses, and now the entire town sees me as some chef messiah.” I sighed. ‘I didn’t even mean for it to slip out; now I can’t go around the shopping district without someone stopping me and asking for help with their food.’

  “If you don’t mind, please help yourself to some of the spare meat in the fridge. I already have two freezers filled, and I’ve started pawning stuff off to the Fujimuras.” The trio looked at each other and took some for their houses. After the meal, of course.

  “I’ll take the chuck for the gyūdon, by the way.”

  Next up is the chūkadon. For it, we need six ounces of pork, six shrimp, half a carrot, 2 napa cabbage leaves, one Shanghai bok choy, one shiitake mushroom, a quarter piece of boiled bamboo shoot, four wood ear mushrooms, and three servings of steamed rice per donburi serving. For the seasoning sauce, which is one cup of chicken stock, one and a half tablespoons of soy sauce, one and a half tablespoons of oyster sauce, one tablespoon of sake, one teaspoon of toasted sesame oil and optionally one-eighth of white pepper powder. For the slurry, two tablespoons of potato or corn starch and two tablespoons of water. Since I’ll be stir-frying, we need for this recipe two tablespoons of neutral oil, which in other words means an oil that doesn’t have a strong fvour.

  While I don’t normally have napa cabbage, regur cabbage would’ve substituted nicely. “I’m surprised that you even have bamboo shoots.”

  “Thank the Ryuudous. I visit the temple regurly and have helped out before.”

  “That’s where Issei lives right?” Rin said. “He’s quite fun to tease.”

  “For you,” Shinji said. “Everytime he looks at me, it’s like he’s looking at a worm.”

  “So how everyone else sees you?”

  “What was that?” Shinji tried to run to Rin, but I stopped him.

  “Look, I’m fine with teasing, but there’s a point where the good naturedness stops and it just becomes insults.” I bring the two closer together. “Plus, we don’t want to be setting a bad example to Sakura, right?”

  The two looked at each other. ““Sorry,””

  ‘Crap. Now they both just look sad.’ I thought. Unfortunately, nothing was coming to mind to cheer them up, so I went back to meal prep.

  Now onto the baked katsudon. For the baked tonkatsu, we need one cup of panko, one tablespoon of neutral oil, two pieces of half-inch-thick boneless loin chops, one teaspoon of kosher salt, freshly ground bck pepper, one tablespoon of all-purpose flour, and one rge egg. For the katsudon, half an onion, two rge eggs, and two servings of cooked Japanese short-grain rice. For the sauce, one cup of dashi, two tablespoons of sake, two tablespoons of mirin, two tablespoons of soy sauce, and two teaspoons of sugar. This is optional, but for serving four sprigs of mitsuba, which is Japanese parsley, and shichimi togarashi.

  I make sure to use the Diamond Crystal kosher salt. “What’s so special about that salt?”

  “Kosher salt is fkier and coarser-grained than table salt; the rge grain size makes it perfect for sprinkling on meat, and it dissolves quickly.”

  “What about this brand of kosher?”

  “Diamond Crystal is less salty and more... crumbly?” I said, trying to find the right word. “The smaller crystals make it easier to stick to food, and it dissolves quicker, which makes it less likely to overseason your food.”

  “Fair enough. Instruct us, boss!” I salute.

  “Fetch us some goggles! We’re cutting some onions!”

  For the gyūdon, thinly cut the onion and green onion/scallion. Then take the thinly sliced beef when it’s semi-frozen and slice the meat into 3-inch-wide pieces. “Do I have to cut the meat?”

  “Hasn’t Sakura been cutting ingredients since her first visit, Shirou?”

  “But Sakura’s a girl.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Easy, Tohsaka.” I eased. “Come one, Shinji, a real man knows how to take care of himself!” Everyone looked at each other and burst out ughing.

  “Hey! What’s with that reaction?”

  "Haha, sorry, haha, it’s just haha, you don’t fit the image haha at all!” The trio ughed harder. “Remind me to never do that again.”

  With a rge frying pan, add the dashi, sake, mirin, soy sauce, and sugar without heat on. Stir to combine. Scatter the onion slices into the sauce around the pan, separating the yers. Next, pce the meat on top, separating the thin slices of beef so the meat covers the onions.

  For the chūkadon, in a small bowl, soak four dried wood ear mushrooms in water for 15 minutes to rehydrate, then cut them into smaller pieces. If we had the time, we could’ve soaked them for six hours; they‘ll be close to fresh wood ear mushrooms. Cut half a carrot into two-inch lengths and slice them into thin sbs. If any sbs are too wide, cut them in half to get bite-sized pieces. Cut and discard the bottom end of one Shanghai bok choy. Then, cut it into two-inch pieces. Wash the bok choy again if you find dirt between the yers. Keep the dense bottom and leafy pieces in two separate piles. Cut two leaves of napa cabbage into two-inch pieces widthwise. Then, cut them into bite-size pieces. Keep the dense bottom and leafy pieces in two separate piles. Cut a quarter-piece boiled bamboo shoot in half widthwise and cut into thin slices. The key to a great stir-fry is to have ingredients that are uniform in shape and thickness. Remove the stem of one shiitake mushroom and cut the cap into thin slices. Prepare all the ingredients on a tray/pte so it‘s easy to add them to the wok when you start stir-frying.

  “So who’s preparing the shrimp?” Shinji asked.

  “I’ll do it.” I said.

  Remove and discard the shells of six shrimp. Using a knife, cut along the outer edge of the shrimp’s back, about a quarter-inch deep. If you can find it, remove and discard the vein that runs right under the surface. In a medium bowl, add the deveined shrimp, six oz. sliced pork belly, one tablespoon of sake, a quarter teaspoon of Diamond Crystal kosher salt, and two teaspoons of potato starch or cornstarch. Rub the meat and shrimp with the seasonings. In a small bowl, combine two tablespoons of potato starch or cornstarch and two tablespoons of water and mix well together. You will need to mix it again right before pouring.

  For the baked katsudon, adjust the oven rack to the middle position and preheat the oven to 400oF (200oC). For a convection oven, reduce the cooking temperature by 25oF (15oC). Prepare a rimmed baking sheet with an oven-safe wire rack or line it with parchment paper. I prefer to use a wire rack as it allows hot air to circute the cutlets and prevents the panko underneath from getting crushed. Combine one cup of panko and one tablespoon of neutral oil in a frying pan. Toast the panko over medium heat, stirring frequently, until golden brown. Transfer the toasted panko to a shallow dish and allow to cool. Cut off the extra fat from two pieces of boneless pork loin chops (half an inch thick). Make several slits on the connective tissue between the meat and the remaining fat. Red meat and fat have different esticities, and they will shrink and expand at different rates when they are cooked. Making a few slits will allow the tonkatsu to stay nice and ft and prevent the cutlets from curling up. To tenderize the meat, pound both sides of the cutlets with a meat pounder; if you don’t have one, then use the back of the knife. Mould the fttened meat back into its original shape with your hands. Sprinkle the cutlets with one teaspoon of Diamond Crystal kosher salt and freshly ground bck pepper. Dredge the pork pieces in one tablespoon of all-purpose flour (pin flour) to coat completely. Pat off the excess flour. Next, beat one rge egg (50 g each, without shell) in a bowl. Then, dip the pork into the beaten egg and coat with the toasted panko. Press on the panko fkes to make sure they adhere to the pork. Cut half an onion into thin slices and divide into two portions. Chop four sprigs of mitsuba into small pieces. Combine the sauce ingredients in a liquid measuring cup or bowl: one cup dashi, two tablespoons sake, two tablespoons mirin, two tablespoons soy sauce, and two teaspoons sugar. This amount could be more than you need, depending on the frying pan size you use. You can store the extra in a mason jar in the refrigerator for up to a week. In a separate small bowl, beat one of the two rge eggs (50 g each without shell).

  Now for the cooking, let’s start with the gyūdon first. Cover the pan with a lid and turn on the heat. Start cooking over medium heat. Once simmering, turn down the heat and cook, covered, for three to four minutes. Once in a while, open the lid and skim off the scum and fat from the broth with a fine mesh skimmer.

  For the chūkadon, heat the wok (or rge frying pan if you don’t have one) on medium-high. When it’s hot, add one tablespoon of oil and wait until the smoke starts to rise from the edge of the pan. Then, add the shrimp and pork to the wok. Spread out the pork and shrimp so they have good contact with the hot wok surface. Cook until the pork is no longer pink and the shrimp changes colour. Transfer the pork and shrimp to a pte. Next, add one tablespoon of oil to the wok/pan and heat until hot. Add the thick or dense vegetables—the sliced carrots, bamboo shoots, wood ear mushrooms, and bottom parts of the napa cabbage and bok choy. Stir-fry until 50% cooked through. Add the leafy vegetables and shiitake mushrooms. Quickly stir-fry, about one to two minutes. Add one cup of chicken stock/broth and half cup of water to the hot wok. Add half a teaspoon of sugar and one tablespoon of sake and toss all together. Bring it back to a simmer and cook for three to four minutes. When all the ingredients are nicely tender but still crisp, add the pork and shrimp back to the wok and toss them all together. Add one and a half Tbsp oyster sauce and one and a half Tbsp soy sauce and combine well with the ingredients. Add one eighth teaspoon of white pepper powder and one teaspoon of toasted sesame oil. Give the slurry another stir to loosen it up. With a fast motion, drizzle the slurry around the wok to evenly distribute it so it thickens evenly. Then, give everything a final toss together. If you feel the starch is too thick, you can add some water to loosen it up. The thickness of the sauce varies depending on how much cooking liquid has evaporated during the cooking process.

  For the baked katsudon, Pce the pork cutlets on the wire rack or parchment paper on the prepared baking sheet. Bake at 400oF (200oC) until the pork is no longer pink inside, about 20 minutes. Remove the tonkatsu from the oven and cut into one-inch pieces (so you can eat them with chopsticks). Press the knife directly down into the cutlets instead of sawing back and forth. This way, the panko crust will stay on the meat. Set aside for now. For each serving, put one portion of the onion slices into the pan and pour ?–? cup of the sauce on top to cover them. Adjust the amount of sauce based on your frying pan size. Bring the sauce and onions to a boil. Lower the heat to medium and cook the onion slices until translucent, about four to five minutes. Carefully pce one baked and sliced tonkatsu cutlet on top of the onions in the sauce and turn the heat to medium-high. Then, slowly drizzle the beaten egg, evenly distributing it over the tonkatsu and broth. Cover the pan with the lid. When the egg is half cooked, about 30 seconds, turn off the heat. The egg should be almost set but still runny.

  Now to serve the meals. For the gyūdon, dle over a bowl of hot steamed rice. Sprinkle the green onions on top and cook covered for another minute. Serve the steamed rice in rge donburi bowls and spoon the beef and onions on top. Drizzle with some of the dashi broth in the pan. Top with red pickled ginger and serve immediately.

  For the chūkadon, Divide the stir-fry over three servings of cooked Japanese short-grain rice portioned into individual donburi bowls. You can sprinkle white pepper powder if you like.

  For the baked katsudon, From the two servings of cooked Japanese short-grain rice, add one serving of hot steamed rice into a donburi bowl. Slide the cooked tonkatsu and egg mixture, including the sauce, on top. Continue cooking and pting the second serving. Sprinkle the chopped mitsuba on top, and serve with shichimi togarashi on the side.

  “Alright everyone! Enjoy!”

  ““Itadakimasu!””

  I look at the table and smile. This brings back good memories.

  DING DONG

  ‘Now who could that be?’ I wonder, getting up from the table. I walk to the front door and open the door.

  “Howdy Shirou! Did ya miss me?” Taiga Fujimura said, pouncing on me as soon as she could.

  “Nope,” I accepted the hug with open arms.

  “What smells good?”

  "Oh, thats-” I stopped as I realized who said that. I turned to face the voice.

  Standing in the doorway was Kiritsugu Emiya.

  “Surprise!” Taiga said. “We wanted to make it a surprise for you since you’ve been so busy with stuff.”

  For a moment, we just stare at each other. It's been a while since we st met, and it's always random for how long he's gone.

  “How have you been?” I asked.

  “Good,” Kiritsugu said back.

  “Come on, the food will get cold if you two keep up with the staring contest,” Taiga walked into the house, uncaring of our decision.

  "Well, you heard her,” Kiritsugu said. “We can wait until after dinner to catch up. Plus, I'm starving, and I've been craving your cooking.”

  “Hopefully you didn't have only fast food, right?” Kiritsugu averted his eyes. “Damn it, dad.”

  Omake

  “You want me to do what!?”

  “Now I know it sounds bad-” “OF COURSE IT SOUNDS BAD!”

  Two Magi were sitting with each other in a secluded booth, not unlike their first time talking together.

  Anyone walking by would be surprised to see the pair and question how these two met, but that is just the surface level.

  The younger man was the Master of Rider during the Fourth Holy Grail War. His Servant? The one and only Alexander the Great: Iskander, King of Conquerors. Waver Velvet was a former student of the te Lord Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald, who lost his life competing in the Holy Grail War as the Master of Lancer.

  The older man was also a competitor of the Fourth Holy Grail War as the Master of Saber, but that’s not the only thing he’s known for. After all, what Magus worth their salt hasn’t heard of the Magus Killer?

  A pseudo-Sealing Designate hunter and freencer stopped tragedies at their peak. Of course, the tter is unknown to most, even those who know of his existence.

  But what are they discussing, you ask?

  “I AM NOT BUYING MAKEUP BOOKS!”

  “Why not?”

  “Why not!? I’m a guy!” Kiritsugu took a long sip from his drink. “Don’t look at me like that!”

  “Look,” Kiritsugu said. “Neither of us knows stuff about makeup. Makeup is a great tool in espionage and, compared to most magecraft, underestimated and more cost-effective.”

  “If you think that, why don't you buy it?”

  “Tell me Waver, if you had a child-” Waver spat out his drink.

  “Where the hell is this coming from!?”

  “If you'd let me finish, you would know." Kiritsugu grabbed a tissue and wiped himself off of alcohol and saliva. “If you had a child, would you feel comfortable with me by them?”

  Waver thought on this for a bit. “If I never knew you, probably not.”

  Kiritsugu did not take care of himself. His hair was a mess, he had clear eyebags, and his beard was unkempt, as well as other gring issues.

  “What do you think is the target demographic for books that teach makeup?” Kiritsugu asked.

  “Probably preteen girls, why?” Kiritsugu made a hand gesture as if to say, ‘Keep going.’ “Don’t tell me, you’re scared of getting weird looks.”

  “No,” Kiritsugu sighed. “People are naturally scared of me. If I go through with buying, then I’ll have to go through more trouble than it’s worth.”

  “What happened to helping your son no matter what?” Kiritsugu gred at Waver. “Ok, ok. Do you not know anyone else that could do this?”

  “I’d either have to pull in a favour or get asked a question I don’t have an answer to.”

  “...fine. But you owe me.” Kiritsugu paid for the drinks and passed a few dolr bills to Waver. The men then went their separate ways.

  (…)

  Waver felt terrified walking into the bookstore. It’s not the first time he's been in a bookstore before; hell, this isn’t even the first time he’s been in this one.

  Obviously, he doesn't frequent this one too often. He’d hate for someone who knows him to recognize him.

  So he walked quickly through the store, not talking to anyone.

  When he went to the checkout, no one batted an eye.

  On that day, Waver Velvet’s pride as a man crumbled.

  Omake endAnd this marks the start of a new arc!

  Lots of new stuff this chapter, but nothing overwhelming, I hope.

  The recipes are real, not my own mind you, but they looked good, and I wanted to add cooking to my Fate story, sue me!

  I haven't tested the recipes out myself, so if someone tries them out and they're bad, let me know asap. The st thing I want to do is promote bad food.

  To those who are interested in following the recipe and need more information or whatever, let me know and I'll send the recipes.

  But with that, this should be the st chapter of the year.

  To be honest, I was never expecting to even post these, but with the encouragement of my friends, I now have a story with a decent following and a semi-consistent upload schedule.

  For a new year resolution, I want to upload more throughout the year without sacrificing quality.

  That said, January is going to be a very busy month for me and my editors, so there might not be an upload for that month; sorry in advance.

  With the ranting out of the way, I am always accepting criticism, so feel free to send it my way!

  This is FmingHotGarbage signing off!