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89. Chapter (Shared universe 34.)

  -From the perspective of Nizzal-

  I was sitting in front of Hondo on the inner side of the bar, while he was thinking over the things I showed him, and the words I spoke to him afterwards. It seemed that he was shocked by this revetion, and for some reason that made me feel better. Maybe I won't regret that I told this to him... Maybe.

  I looked at the man of thousands faces, who never shoved weakness or his true emotions, and for a brief moment I think that I mao look behind the curtain. What I saw was nothing special, but something to be expected from someoh so mareme expressions.

  He was just another man searg for something, something intangible, that might mao fill the gnawiiness eating away at him from the inside.

  A simple, maybe too simple reality, which was a luxury for all enthusiastic leaders. A smile of fidence carefully pced over the emotions and doubts of the simple people, the ones all of us feel but not everyone is allowed to show.

  I guess, I have shown him... to the person I never inteo tell... I eventually did, life is really ful of surprises. What I showed him... was my life story, based on force visions, and things that I remember on my own.

  When I shared these particur thoughts, they were brought forward, into the scious levels of my mind. It is no wohat my mind slowly drifted along, slowly reliving those exact experiences.

  My mother, was a dancer on Nal Hutta. She was a sve on top of that, a dire fate.

  One day she was beaten and thrown out onto the streets, for not pleasing her lord well enough. A on practise that was used to break the mi of sves. If a sve cimed by a master was sent away on bad terms. No one would hire or try to use them, because they khe tradition already, and the sequehat would no doubt follow if someone would dare to break it. This was a silent agreement among them, to exploit and humiliate their sves even further, to let them uand nobody wahem aside for their masters. That they were not needed, and that the greatest kihey would receive was being tolerated at all.

  After they spent a few days oreet without food, drink, or a roof over their head, beaten chased around... They would crawl back to their masters pleading to be fiven and accepted bato the house. Promising that they will work harder and never pin ever again.

  It was how it worked. No one cared about sves, nobody would let them iheir house ive them work. It would ruin the reputation of any shop or household to use an already cimed sve after all.

  My mother however was lucky, and she actally met with a pirate, a younger version of Hondo. She was not a bad looking woman, since she was a twi'lek and he was already a man of fttery and big mostly empty words. The sort that women, especially desperate women could no refuse. Things happened... and she eventually joihe pirates group. They traveled for a while, but she had to realize that pirate life was ly suitable for her. Especially when she uood that it was not only her life, she was responsible for, not anymore.

  She settled on Ryloth, hoping that being on a p of her race would provide better living circumstances. A feassed, and we were living a poor but free life traveling around in many vilges and cities searg for work. Mother had many different jobs over the years, most of them only part time since she o foe. After I grew bigger, and could be left to my own devices for a loime we eventually settled in a backwater vilge. Where mother accepted a stable work offer this time. Our w came to a stop.

  A few more years passed in this mahen oeful day, everything I knew was destroyed iter of seds.

  Because twi'leks were sidered a beautiful race by most. Svers naturally sidered female twi'leks a great catch. There were always these rumoing around in the vilge where we lived, that svers attacked other cities and vilges nearby. Such wild stories were going around for years, yet nothing tangible ever came to pass. So we slowly became numb to the threat that never seemed to appear.

  In the first pce, these were already hard times for everyoimes when people became distant and cold to each other. This seemed to be true for our vilge as well, strangers were ruly accepted here. My mother and I were never liked, a woman with a child, but no father, they saw the tattoo on the back of her neck as well. Her sve brand... It was a bad omen to get close to such people more then necessary. At least that was how the vilgers thought.

  We were allowed to stay only because mother worked hard to ears and pay the rent for us. They needed workers, and credits, but we could not expect genuine kindness from them.

  Then one day, a ship arrived, a sver ship. A bunch of shady people of different races walked into the small vilge armed to the teeth, looking cocky, with fident ruthless smiles. fortable in their power, they walked to the trum of the vilge and made a statement.

  We either give them five young women to be sold as sves of our choice, or they burn down the vilge, kill every one who opposes, and take all of us women, children, and men included.

  There was around fifty person living in this mostly rural vilge of which there was roughly ten children and ten elderly. The rest were women and men about the same here were no real warriors, fighters here... and we had but three guns used for hunting, those ons were meant to kill animals, they worked with physical bullets, as bsting apart an animal with a psma beam was not smart for hunting purposes. They were mostly useless against armored and armed batants.

  There was at least thirty armed sver there... There was no ce to defend the pce or call for help. We only got a single hour to decide what to do, while the svers waited outside of the vilge.

  Eventually the decision was made, and when a man ruthlessly poi my mom, saying that she was already a sve once, so she shouldn't feel bad for being one again, she was the first chosen. I was the sed one, sinobody was willing to take care of a child whose mother the whole vilge betrayed.

  Then those who didn't have families or children to stand up for them, then the ones who were not that crucial for the vilge based oalents and jobs. In other words, the troublemakers.

  My mother was heartbroken, she suspected that this might happen, but to be the first chosen, with her daughter in tow made her go berserk.

  She attacked the bastard who first poi us to be offered to the svers. She mao brake his nose I believe. However she was quickly subdued, and tied up along with me. Learning from this mistake, they decided to tie up everyone who was eventually chosen. We were led outside of the vilge, while being bound by rope, we were given to the svers waiting for us with a huge smile and wide open arms.

  They herded us into the belly of the ship and quickly left the pce, staying true to their words they didn't hurt anyone. Some of the women were g pitifully, while others turned deathly silent. I was hugging my mother desperately at the time. She had this pale expression on her face, which scared me every time I looked at her. Now as I remember, it was the expression of acceptance, she already knew what was ing for her. And that she could not avoid the fate that was evidently waiting for us, her.

  Some time ter, an ior came to check over the goods... us... with a lecherous expression. However, the moment he saw the tatoo on the bay mother's neck, he started cursing terribly. Shouting that we dared ti fool them, that those bastards ba the vilge gave us ohat was already cimed.

  The man looked angry, and fearful at the same time.

  Walking in front of us, with rge strides, thinking what to do. Then without any warniurowards mother, and shot her in the face with a single beam of red psma.

  I heard the other woman scream around me, while looking at mother's lifeless body fall to the ground beside me... She died, just like that. There were no heroes reat evil vilins fighting for the bance of the world. There were no meaningful st sed sacrifices that saved the lives of trillions. No... her death was pletely meaningless, the only thing that mattered was the profit the svers lost while killing her. I couldn't believe it then, and I still 't believe it now... The cruelty of the situation was simply surreal.

  I looked at the people taking my mother's life, at the time. I was so shocked, that I couldn't even feel anger... to be enraged, you o accept the injustice that happeo you first... But, I couldn't do it. As I looked at them, the only thing I could feel ity.

  I heard the man curse again, then he spoke in a displeased tone, he was annoyed.

  -What a waste, it would be impossible to expin to the hutts why we got one of their lost sves among our new mardise. Damn, she was quite a looker too... how unfortunate. Should have tried her on first... I guess, it's too te for that. To hell with it, I tend to act before I think, especially uress...

  Another of the svers asked.

  -What should we do with her whelp? She ain't good for the buyer... He specified that he has no i in children.

  -Ah... did he, for fucks sake... must have slipped my mind! Eh, whatever get rid of her, sell her to some weirdo or whatever you want, I don't care. We o meet with the others iy further ahead. Also, get rid of the body of that bitch. I don't want any traces of her, ain't going to give reasons for the hutts to think that I am fug with them.

  -Okay, at least send down a few more boys to help me clear your mess up.

  -Fine...

  I was numb, to everything that happened after that. It became a blurry mess, but I remember, that I was eventually sold at the stop, which was still on Ryloth. This man who was my new master treated me reasonably well, for being a sve, but I was too shocked, too lost and numb to everything. He eventually ran out of patience, and told me that he would resell me, if I was not going to work, and help around the house. Since he was old, and that was the reason he bought me.

  I was numb to most things, but I know, that I will not go back to the sve market.

  That night, I ran away. The old man didn't have money for fancy sve colrs or restraining devices. So I could leave retively easily, but living oreet was not something I was familiar with. I was beaten by other street urs. Chased by svers, either sent after me, or simply trying to capture a lost kid out of boredom.

  It was at this moment, when I was fighting for my survival every day for weeks, that something seemed to slowly unfold inside me. At the time, I simply believed it to be my surviving instinct, today I know that it was the force, appearing under intense pressure and stant stress.

  It was too te however, I was too tired, too beaten. Others had a more powerful, desire to live. They fought more viciously, for those st scrapes. I was nihilistic, driven by a numb sense of huhat I wao fill more from a habit then from a desire for survival. I wao fill my stomach, as there was nothing else I could fill. Inside my soul, there was just an enormous hollow emptiness.

  And it was in this state that my Master found me. More precisely, it was this nihilistise of emptiness inside a child that barely awokened her force potential, that lured him to me. The darkness which did not hate, which was not directed at anyone, while still being present as a stant. An accepted part of the world.

  Not everybody bee a Gray. You o be born and raised to it, or accept its truths on your own.

  That emptiness, is still there even today. It is what embodies and fuels all my dark thoughts, it is what serves as a very real body to the Sith Lord called Darth Waif who is part of me. That is why I am a Gray Lord, and not a Gray Jedi.

  You see, a perfect baween light and darkness is impossible to achieve. One side will always be stronger pared to the other. That difference is what will categorize a person to call himself or herself one or the other. Of course, in my case, as a grandmaster, the differeween dark and light is negligible, but it is still there.

  Fray Lord, there must be an internal darkness, a wound, with a depth that would ruly heal. And fray Jedi, there must be a genuine sense of justice, a wish food to serve as base for everything else.

  While both have to know and accept the need for the other. Accept it ihemselves, and in the hands of others as well. That acceptance is what makes a Gray, what it is.

  I have long since, accepted the world, as it was. I am not going to ge it on fual levels, I have already made a heaven for my kind. The rest do whatever they want, those who wish to join and live by the rules are wele. If they are loyal, and willing to defend what we created. However, I do not delude myself. There is only a certain amount of people we accept, and for that reason it is we, who chose from among the possible didates and not the other way around.

  For those deemed worthy we give an invitation, that they freely refuse. It was how I decided ba Unity. I think that it is the right way to protect our iy and help a few people.

  Anyway... this was mostly what I showed to Hondo... I looked up from my thoughts, and saw the face of a smirking man in a red cloak sitting opposite of me. He seemed relived and somewhat happy, all of that in a strangely childish way.

  He started to speak.

  -I just realized... I have bee a father once more. Isn't that a fine occasion for a drink? Pour me a hard drink ss... no, daughter, er yet... the round of drinks on me for everybody! HAHA!

  There were a few people shouting cheers for him, as they heard the ued decration.

  Meanwhile Hondo jumped up on the bar and started dang like a plete nutcase, while shouting.

  -I have bee a father, once again! Bahaha!

  Hava, Kate and Cire were looking at him showg different levels of surprise, and disbelief.

  Cire was the less disturbed, she only shouted at him asking if it was a birl. When Hondo shouted back that it was a girl, she smiled.

  -Good job dad, I always wanted a little sister. I only got older ones, and they are annoying. Now I've got to annoy someone else!

  -That's the spirit Cire!

  Shouted Hondo while throwing a pte on the ground, and kig a tray of gsses of the bar.

  The sounds of braking ptes were the ohat eventually awoke Kate and Hava from their stupor.

  Kate shouted in shobsp;

  -What the hack got into this idiot!?

  Hava joined in a few seds ter.

  -Hondo have you lost your mind, I mean the rest of it?!

  -Baha! I might as well! Today artying! After all, we missed the ce to celebrate my daughter's fourteenth birthday a while ago! What kind of parent would I be, if I did not make it up for her!

  Hava looked a bit less annoyed hearing the reasons for the man's sudden absurdity. She was not sure if he was only bullshitting though, so she eventually asked.

  -And who is this daughter you are talking about?

  Hondo stopped dang and braking ptes for a sed, and looked at Hava. Then he said proudly.

  -It's Nizzal of course!

  Hava froze, and slowly turowards me. However, when she saw me facepalming in desperation, while having this embarrassed and ashamed expression, coupled with a blushing face.

  Her jaw seemed to drop to the ground. Kate and Cire were also looking at us with the same expression, as both screamed in disbelief.

  -WHAAAAAAAAAT!?

  At this moment, I was regretting everything that I said, and showed to him. This... this is a plete disaster.

  In the background the restaurant door opened, and three brown robed figures stepped inside. In the middle of the absurdities, nobody has noticed them just yet.

  These three particur fellows, were her then Master Kenobi, Master Windu, and in the middle of them Grandmaster Yoda.

  Windu, and Kenobi, looking around and sensing the jovial atmosphere, finally released the handle of their lightsabers which they were ready to iger, hearing the loud disturbing noises ing out of the building they were pnning to visit.

  After some time of silent observation, Obi'Wan decided to speak up.

  -Oh, my! What is the joyful occasion, I wonder?

  In the moment, a deep silence fell over the entire restaurant, as every person turowards the three jedi masters standing in the door. Especially after they sehe dead stare of Master Windu, on their own skin.

  The silence was so thick, that it would have been too loud if a needle had been dropped in the hall.

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