When we first went back in time, I was completely flabbergasted. I mean, seriously. How is time travel real?
The first day back, I was in a complete daze, hearing all these weird new terms that I’d never heard before. Truck-kun, isekai, golden finger, cultivation, system—it was like I had stumbled into some secret nerd club where everyone spoke a language I didn’t understand.
But you know what really got me? I didn’t feel much pain at all.
And that was wild.
Back in our old life, I was basically a walking disaster zone. My ankles? Swollen all the time. Walking too far? Forget it—anything more than an hour and I’d be limping. My back? Constantly aching, making sleep a nightmare. I even had to start sleeping on the living room couch because my bed was just too uncomfortable.
And my wrist—oh my God, my wrist. I’d had surgery to fuse bones in my right wrist and thumb because it hurt so badly. But now? Barely a twinge.
I was suspicious at first, but then when we got our system, our first reward was a bone marrow cleansing pill—and let me tell you, that thing was magic. I took it, and poof—every last bit of pain was gone. It was like I was a teenager again.
We played tennis, and I didn’t feel a single ache. I played the entire match without having to sit down or hold my back like an old grandma. It was amazing.
And then there was Randy.
Now, don’t get me wrong—40-something Randy was already very good-looking. But when we got isekai’d and he de-aged back into his 20s? Oh. My. God.
This man.
This. Man.
So sexy. So young. So full of energy. I was not ready.
Once I finally wrapped my head around the fact that we had actually time-traveled, I was all in.
During our first quest, we bought new bikes to ride around, and let me tell you—best decision ever. Growing up in a place where biking wasn’t really an option (thanks, busy roads in the middle of nowhere. Why were they busy anyway? There was nothing around.), I had never realized how much fun it could be. But after a week of zooming around town, I was obsessed.
So naturally, when it came time to take Alex to school, I thought, Why bother buying a car when I can just ride my bike? Sure, our system had a weird environmentalist streak and a bit of an asshole personality, but honestly? I didn’t mind biking. It was fun. And we even had one of those little bike trailers that Alex could sit in.
So, on the first day of school, I loaded him up and rode him there like a champ. He jumped and I rode away.
Now, apparently, this was weird.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Because when I dropped him off, the other parents gave me sideways looks—like I had committed some great sin by not sticking around and hovering over him. But, like, why would I wait for him?
HE’S 25.
…Err, okay, his body wasn’t 25 yet, but whatever.
After that, I had the entire day to myself, so I went to the mall. HOLY CRAP, MALLS STILL EXISTED!
I just walked around, soaking in the nostalgia, bought a Cinnabon, and enjoyed life. (Don’t judge. It was worth it.)
But then came school pickup time.
And, oh boy.
I had to stand outside with all the other parents.
Talk about a drag.
That’s when it happened.
“Hello, my name is Karen. What grade is your kid in?” Some lady asked, smiling in that way that made it clear she had never lost an argument in a Target before.
“Oh, I don’t have a kid here. I’m just picking up the spawn of Satan,” I said, grinning. I thought it would be a funny icebreaker.
I was so wrong.
Karen’s smile dropped instantly.
Her eyes twitched.
Her face turned red.
And then—
“IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE? IS THE DEVIL A JOKE TO YOU?!”
…Uh-oh.
“YOU’RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL! AHHH! AHHH! SATAN! SATAN IS HERE! AHHHHH!”
Lady. What. The. Hell.
I burst out laughing.
“Look, everyone! A wild Karen has appeared!” I joked.
Big mistake.
Because Karen went full berserker mode.
“I WILL PURGE THE DEVIL FROM THESE LANDS!” she shrieked.
And then she charged at me.
Now, I don’t know if she thought she was about to perform some kind of holy exorcism, but she tripped almost immediately, landing face-first into the pavement.
The silence was deafening.
And then—
“Hahahaha!”
I couldn’t help it. I lost it. I was crying from laughing so hard.
A few of the other parents snickered too, but they tried to hide it behind their hands like cowards.
That’s when a friendly dad swooped in, helped Karen up, and tried to calm her down.
Ever since then, Karen has glared at me at every single school pickup.
Totally worth it.
Oh, and as a bonus?
I met several actually normal parents through this whole fiasco. And—get this—I even managed to sell two fans!
At the end of the week Alex and Randy both had sold 4 fans. Really? Alex sold 4 fans in school? Then I saw it was all to the same family. What’s awesome is the mother is one of the parents who laughed at Freakout Karen. I should probably ask for her name at some point.
That means we finished the quest and I could learn KUNG FU! “HYYAA!” I yelled. I am totally gonna beat up Randy when he gets home… Damn he learns kung fu as well.
“Hey system, can you make my kung fu stronger than Randy’s?
Ding! Sure, you gotta have something you are better at than Randy.
“Stupid system.”
- No more chronic pain? Check.
- Randy becoming ridiculously hot? Check.
- Biking everywhere like a badass? Check.
- Witnessing a real-life Karen meltdown? Check, check, and double-check.
- Get to learn kung fu, and being better than Randy? Checkmate.
This isekai life?
Best. Thing. Ever.