After a busy week at work, when I got home on Friday, it turns out that Alex had sold 4 fans to one family and Amy had sold two fans to parents during school pickup. So we spent a few hours making deliveries later that night. Having gotten their addresses at school.
“You know, after word of mouth starts spreading about how effective these fans are, we can make being fan salesmen our full time jobs.” I suggest. “Yeah but I REALLY hate sales. I know that 2 fans were sold by me, but those parents were actually in Alex’s class and heard about their awesomeness from the kids.”
“You two do realize that the internet, while not as fully developed as 20 years from now, does exist. Let us make a website and sell them on the net. We will charge the $150 that dad first suggested and make shipping free. We can also ship anywhere in the world. Jeff Bezos I am gunning for you.” Alex finished with a joke.
We had this discussion while riding our bikes to deliver the fans. It sure is easier to go on a bike ride with an expensive bike, leaving plenty of energy for our talk. After our delivery the system chimed. A flood of information came to my mind, I AM A KUNG FU MASTER!
As soon as we got home Amy suggested we try out our new skills.
So we changed into workout clothes and went to the tennis courts. I didn’t expect the system to be the commentator.
Ding! In the red corner is Randy Ringo coming in at 5 foot 11 and 160 lbs. In the blue corner stand the very diminutive Amy Ringo standing at 4 foot 11
“Hey I’m 5 foot!”
Ding! In the blue corner is the delusional Amy Ringo standing at 4 foot 11 and 110 lbs.
“GRRR…”
And Randy makes the first move. A spinning backwards roundhouse punch that completely misses. Thanks, I’ll try that on my grandma.
“What the hell system!”
Amy makes a faint kick to the leg, completely fooling Randy, making him look like an idiot.
“Seriously system, just shut up!”
It looks almost as if Randy brought a banana to a gunfight with how bad he is losing.
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“SHUT UP!”
After a few takedowns and a kick to the face, the fight was over. Amy crushed me. “Take your tennis win and shove it!” Seriously, she is too excited after beating me up.
“... Amy,... Why are you so good?” I ask panting on the ground. “Well, I am Asian, we are all good at math and kung-fu.” Alex was scoffing at the side. “But, you aren’t good at math.” I grumble under my breath. Alex laughed hard at that, I thought I was quiet enough that no one would hear me. Oh yeah, we all took a bone marrow pill and enhanced our hearing, among other things.
After the fight we went back inside and the system issued us another quest.
Quest issued: you got a taste, now get a full meal.
- Details: Sell 100 fans.
- Rewards: Master three random languages each.
“Hell yeah, let’s sell the shit outta them!” Alex shouted, while pumping his fist. “Let me do some math.” Is my reply. We had built a total of 34 fans at $50 each in parts, which cost $1700. Then we kept 4 for ourselves and sold 10, making $1000. “Well we are currently in the red for $700, but we got 20 fans left to sell. If we can sell them we will have a profit of $1300. I definitely think we can make this our full time job. I only make $2000 a month at my current job. Who knows, maybe we will be able to hire employees in the future! Emeliano is a good mechanic, so I bet he could do the initial build minus system just fine.”
“Slow down there, sparky.” Amy interjects. “While I agree to make this our full time job, you need to keep working at your other job for a period of time until this thing really starts.” Amy has always been super cautious about anything involving money, which has saved us from several bad investments and lost us many good opportunities. So all in all it evened out.
Over the weekend we played tennis a few more times to keep up our fitness, not that Amy needed it with taking Alex to school every day on the bike. My job also had a lot of activity for me to do, being a delivery driver. So we were already keeping in shape, but it's always better to keep up these fitness habits so our fatter future doesn't happen again.
We also tried our hand at door to door sales on Saturday with obviously poor results…
The first house I went to had this pleasant interaction.
Knock knock knock. After knocking, a guy a few years older than me opened the door. “Hello.” I responded politely. “Hi my name is Randy and I have recently created this great new product. I am looking for a select few individuals to test it and record its effects.” We had decided to take a loss on 5 fans to try and get the word out with minimal investment. “Ooh great, I heard your mom was hot.” He responded. “What?” “Aren’t you here for me to test your mom’s bedroom abilities? I just got back from New York and went to a Diddy party, so I got a lot of spare lube.” He shockingly replied. “Actually, you are great looking as well, why don’t you come inside and we can discuss this in more detail. Then after I can take you shopping.”
I turned and ran at my fastest speed away from that whole neighborhood. The next house I came up to I knocked again. “Hello, if you're selling anything just know I have a shotgun propped next to the door.” I heard a yell from inside the house. Needless to say, I ran again.
When I came to the next house I got a real shock. As I knocked on the door and made my pitch. “Hello, my name is Randy and I have recently created this great new product. I am looking for a select few individuals to test it and record its effects.” “Ok, I am listening, what is your new product?” OMG, he was showing interest! Maybe I could get my first door to door customer?
“My family has created this fan with much difficulty. It has the ability to freshen the air and remove pollutants, making any area a wonderful place to breathe.” “Oh that is great, just what I needed!” He replied while putting on a hat from a nearby stand. The problem was it had a nazi symbol on it. “I have been running my incinerators day and night and can't get the smell out of the air.” I ran again.
Three streets and twenty houses with bad experiences later I met back up with Amy and Alex. They had similar results.
“I got into 2 fights!” Amy panted. Apparently a few home owners didn’t take kindly to the type of sales we were engaged in and tried to slap Amy. good thing we learned kung fu, it let her dodge and restrain the home owners long enough to calm them down and make an exit. “There was another salesman I saw down the street from us, he was in the process of being arrested. Apparently he used door to door sales as a gauge to see if people were home, and if not he would rob the houses.” Amy continued. “Yeah the house he was robbing just had a cop asleep after a long shift. He woke up to the sound of the robber flushing his toilet. Then beat up the dude before cuffing him and calling the rest of the police.” Alex added.
“We need to sell them online. It is too scary going house to house. Just up the price to $150 and give free shipping.” Alex said with a sigh. “Ok, that is our task for tomorrow, time to make dinner and call it a day.” Amy interjects. This quest wouldn’t be as easy as I thought.