Upon stepping out of the small treasure room, a wave of confusion and irritation washed over the party. Sloan, having stepped through first, gave a ft look and decred, “Nope. This is bullshit.”

  Sabrina came behind her and chuckled dryly. After all the time descending, the door opened out to the mezzanine level of the lobby. Some degree of space-time trickery was par for the course, but this was more than a hallway with five right-turns.

  Jade joined Sabrina in ughing at the absurdity of it all. Alice was on the same page as Sloan, saying, “Shenanigans. I’m calling shenanigans on this whole thing.”

  With shenanigans formally invoked, the party departed. They may not have used all of the time that was avaible, but they’d gotten their fill of the dungeon and had a lot of winnings to thumb through. They took the elevator back up to the undry room, and sent Red out to spread the word that their party was heading off to the gym. A few small parties decided to wrap things up and would be meeting them back at HQ.

  It was a short walk, even with three of the girls still wobbly from their ride. They all plopped down on a foam mat in a circle to look over their treasures, like kids comparing Halloween candy. Jade jumped at the opportunity to py music before anyone else thought of it.

  >Jade is pying: Carry Me — Crooks and Nannies

  Hearing the lyrics, Sabrina smirked.

  >I take my shirt off/ Hang upside down on the couch/ I always feel good/ When I’m shirtless and upside down/ But I got roommates/ Who don’t wanna see me naked/ So I find other ways/ To make myself be silly

  Alice was amused by the song as well. She specuted aloud, “This might just be the most Jade song I’ve ever heard.”

  “Thank you,” Jade replied without reservations.

  Sloan id out the seventeen prize eggs. “First things first, we should figure out what we want to do with the Legendaries. Do we split them amongst ourselves, or pass some down to the newbies so they get stronger, faster?”

  “I don’t need any,” Sabrina said, before conjuring her two new Devil Eggs. She regretted her words immediately, seeing that they were scaled and lumpy. The rger white one was shaped like a gourd or a peanut, with two fist-sized balls fuzed together.

  Jade cocked an eyebrow in interest. “Those must be the deviled eggs,” she joked.

  Deciding not to correct her, Sabrina offered Jade an out. “Yeah… it’s not too te to change your mind about trying one of these. They’re pretty wonky.”

  “Nonsense,” Jade dismissed. “Buuuut, since I’m generous, you can have the big one.” Jade took the Emerald egg, which was more reasonably sized at only one fist’s girth. “I won’t be needing any of the other prize eggs, either. You can donate mine.”

  Without further ado, Jade put the strange egg to the entrance of her impossibly wet cunt and winced as it slowly entered her. Sabrina sighed and followed her lead. She’d changed regained her human upon exiting the dungeon, but this seemed like a job for her succubus form. She colored the gym in fiery light as she changed, and then unceremoniously penetrated herself with the Ivory Devil Egg.

  The lumpy, scaly texture was strangely pleasant to her heightened senses. Her Hellmouth instinctively sucked the egg deeper. Her demonic cervix kissed the egg before pulling it inside. When her Hellmouth finished pulling the first ball inside, it sealed its rim around the central dip and tightened around the ball. It then stubbornly resisted Sabrina’s efforts to suck the rest in. Her lower mouth stayed firm, giving Sabrina the gut feeling that this was the way the egg was meant to be used. In lieu of a countdown timer, Sabrina gained a small circur progress bar. It was unbeled, but it seemed to move quite slowly.

  Next on the agenda, Sloan took out the Three Rings of Total Depravity. They came in a carrying case that would be suited to dispying a neckce. Sat upon the silken bed were three colorful rings, two inches in diameter.

  >Three Rings of Total Depravity. Forged in the ashes of history’s horniest creatures, these rings are not for the light of heart. All three change in size to fit phalluses of varying endowment. Each ring’s color marks its enchantment. Each ring can be locked in pce until a designated code-word is uttered.

  >Cyan Ring of Ceaseless Eruption. Whilst cd upon a penis, the wearer orgasms and ejacutes vigorously. This effect continues indefinitely for the entire duration that it is worn. The sensitivity and stimution of the wearer’s penis is maximized for the duration. With time, all beings shall succumb to madness under the power of unending climax.

  >Yellow Ring of Perpetual Denial. This ring tightly constricts the base of the wearer’s penis and/or scrotum. While worn, the penis’s arousal and rigidity is maximized, but all forms of climax or ejacution are impossible. The sensation of being brought close to orgasm, once reached, cannot subside while this is worn. Additional stimution only escates the desperate sensitivity beyond the normal limits. The more that release is deyed, and the limits of sensation are pushed, the greater the volume of ejacute and the magnitude of the orgasm will be once the ring is removed. Cannot be worn at the same time as the Cyan ring.

  >Magenta Ring of Glory. Dungeons may be varied, and dimensionally discrete, but many of them are united by a single Nexus point. In any dungeon that hosts cock-endowed monster-girls, there shall also be a hole in the wall, where you can see it all. This ring may be attached at will to any ft surface, at which point it shall become an inter-dimensional glory hole. Without dey, the aroused penis of a humanoid monster-girl will always spring forth, eager to be serviced. It will remain until you dismiss it. Upon dismissal, you have five seconds to remove the ring from its surface before another humanoid dy-dick is summoned. All infection and impregnation is prevented. No information may be passed through the wormhole. Warning: the sexual fluids of some monsters may have enchanted effects.

  “Cool!” Jade yelped, grabbing at the rings with curiosity. She put the cyan ring onto the the Living Dildo without thinking. Immediately, both she and Sabrina felt an unfathomably strong orgasm, while their shared cock pumped out and endless geyser of cum. After twenty seconds of trying to endure it, Jade succumbed to her impulse to remove the ring.

  Jade sifted the rings around in her hands, biting her tongue in contemption. Then, she separated out the magenta ring and set it on the floor. Instantly, a six-inch penis sprang up. It had teal skin, with a cream-colored head peaking out from its long foreskin. Adjacent to the dick there id a sack with three hefty balls. The girls leered and giggled at the unusual penis.

  Jade decided to experiment. She slid the cyan ring down onto the teal dick. A steady stream of pearly cum shot out, pooling around the magenta ring. Jade turned away from it, having a little fun with putting some anonymous monster through the ringer.

  “These are fun,” Jade announced.

  “Agreed,” Alice said. “Not gonna lie, I’m curious.”

  “Yeah,” Sloan agreed, stretching the word slightly to indicate that she was about to contradict herself. “Although two of them are only useful for you guys. A magic item that only works on cocks isn’t the most useful thing in a league of lesbians.”

  “That’s not entirely true,” Alice argued. “There’s more cocks in the league than you might expect. For starters, there’s five trans girls other than me. Although one of them got a perk that worked like a total bottom surfer, so there’s no more dick from her. Another one, interestingly enough, grew a vagina without losing her dick. Five different cis girls got perks that made them grow cocks.”

  Urgently, Jade blurted out, “There’s a perk for that?!”

  Alice nodded sagely, confirming, “Apparently so.”

  “I’m gonna need the names of anyone with that perk, plus anyone with the mutation-thingy subcss,” Jade demanded.

  “I gotchu, girly,” Alice assured her. “You should know, though, that Curie’s perk also got rid of her pussy. I’m not gonna stop you from getting the perk from her if that’s what floats your boat, but you should be informed.”

  “Oof,” Jade groaned out. “Yeah, no. Not that one.”

  Sabrina cocked her head at Jade. “You don’t wanna share a dick with me?”

  Jade looked conflicted by this. “I do, but I also love having a dick, and yours isn’t full time. Plus, I feel like I’m hogging yours.”

  Sabrina waved off that concern. “You can hog my hog all you want.”

  Jade took this into consideration, seeming deep in though. “I’ll have to think about it. I wish I could just have my own Living Dildo. Then we could both wear each other’s dick full-time, so we’re always together.” Sabrina found this cute. She held Jade’s hand and wore a tickled grin.

  “Vial of Contagion,” Sloan called out, presenting the next item.

  >Vial of Contagion. Single dose. Upon ingestion, the user may choose a collection of their own perk-derived traits. These traits will be duplicated through a communicable virus. The user will determine the rate and method(s) of transmission, factors that make a person susceptible or immune, and other relevant details of the virus.

  “Whoa,” Sabrina remarked, awe-struck by the implications. “That could be really powerful. We could start an airborne virus that makes everyone on earth strong, smart, and healthy.”

  Jade offered an alternative. “Or we could end world hunger.”

  Sabrina furrowed her eyebrows, needing Jade to eborate. Jade wordlessly expined by putting her hand to one of her breasts and gently wringing it out towards the nipple. This squirted a small spray of milk onto Sabrina’s face.

  Sabrina winced to keep the milk in her eyes and then licked a droplet that nded on her lip. “Ah, big milky tits. I see.”

  With some deliberation, the party decided to keep this treasure in their back-pocket for now. Sloan took out the final treasure. Lining them up for all to see, she set out seven small pellets that looked like kibble and smelled like bacon.

  >Uplift treats. When one of these treats is fed to a non-human animal, the animal gains human-level intelligence and the gift of speech. The animal will be fluent in a human nguage. Currently, this nguage is set to English, but this may be changed prior to administering a dose. An uplifted animal’s personality develops over time. Additional treats have no effect on an uplifted animal.

  “Oh my god let’s go find a squirrel!” Jade shouted, and she stood and turn towards the door.

  “Jade,” Sabrina scolded.

  Jade stopped in her tracks and turned on her heels towards her girlfriend.

  Sabrina continued, asking, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

  Jade pondered this, before she caught the issue in her peripheral vision. The teal cock was still summoned, throbbing painfully as it was forced to churn more and more cum directly into the two gallon puddle it was sitting in. Jade keeled over ughing, slipping and falling in the cum as she did so. This only made her ugh harder. When she settled down enough to do so, she pulled the cyan ring off of the anonymous dick. “My bad,” she murmured guiltily.

  >Additional excerpt from Carry Me — Crooks and Nannies:

  >You can carry me/ I’m not heavy/ I’ll grow extra arms/ To hold on to your body

  >Dig my fingernails/ Into your shoulder/ And you’re so steady/ And you don’t tip over/ And you’re so pretty/ So I want to be pretty/ Can you carry me?/ ‘Cause I’m not heavy. ? All rights reserved by Grand Jury music.

  >The author recognizes that they are treading in legally questionable waters. That, however, is the upside to receiving no financial gain for one’s bor. I may have to skip a few meals and have panic attacks from the fear of not making my rent, but I’m also not worth suing.

  >Please note that this text is diegetic. A soul contract remains in pce binding the reader, the reader who reads the reader, and the D?????r?????????????e???a???????????????????m???????????????????????e?????????????r?????????????????? from having an existential crisis. Don’t think about it. Don’t go staring into the abyss and then run whining back to me when it stares back.