Chapter 23: Jabba Desilijic Tiure

  The Gamorrean guards in front of the door made some piggy noises as they moved out of my way. My black cloak billowed behind me rather dramatically as I walked towards the closed door. It didn’t open automatically. Instead, it twisted and warped, then was sent flying inward. Skidding across the expensive white tiles on the floor.

  “Hah-hah-hah-hah~!” Instead of anger or fear, the giant slug-man seemed happy to see me. He spread his arms wide and grinned, “Amon Kal! Our friend Jango speaks highly of your skills! It’s great to finally meet you in person!”

  “Aww~! It’s nice to meet you too, Jabba! Hahaha~!” I glanced at the turrets on the ceiling, the Wookiee with a big-ass vibrosword drawn, the silver-armored Mandalorian holding a slugthrower, the dozen or so Droids of various makes and models that were all armed… The only one that wasn’t armed was the green bastard in the middle. Oh, and his three sexy Twi’lek slave girls. One blue, one purple and one pink. All basically naked, except for some silky black fishnets and thin pieces of cloth on their genitals.

  Those giant orange serpentine eyes squinted as he looked down at me from his elevated position. A huge luxurious red bed in the middle of the room. I could sense a Forcefield rippling around him, though it wasn’t possible to see with normal vision. When my vision changed to other spectrums though, it was blindingly bright.

  “I can see why you picked this place to meet.” I looked out the window and saw several Starfighters hovering around like gunships. There was also an escape craft on the roof. A decently armed and armored shuttle.

  “His flagship is in orbit above Mos Espa.” Izsha added to my observation of the general situation. It was actually just a souped up pleasure yacht, but it probably had enough ordinance to level the whole city if it came down to that.

  “Can never be too careful with Force Users.” Jabba chuckled as he spread his short arms and beckoned me closer, “Don’t take offense to these precautions, Amon Kal! Let us discuss some important business!”

  “The Forcefield is completely protecting his bed. No air can pass through. Neither can microorganisms or viruses, unfortunately.” My daughter was disappointed, but I wasn’t too surprised. Besides, he didn’t keep a shield up 24/7. And no matter how good a Hutt’s immune system is, it can still be cracked. I just need some Jabba Juice…

  I looked towards the girls and smirked. They had his slimy saliva on their bodies. Along with other juices and tissues. Inside and outside. My parasites were already crawling all over their colorful flesh and rooting around inside their bodies. Jabba’s Essence was as easy to acquire as I expected.

  “What kinda business?” I turned back towards those big orange lizard eyes. Regardless of how asymmetrical and generally unappealing his facial features are, his eyes were actually really pretty.

  “Big business!” Jabba shouted emphatically as I walked closer and passed the trembling Twi’lek girls, who bowed their heads and crawled out of my way. The guards all around were aiming their weapons at me or preparing to use them at any moment.

  “Can you be more specific?” I poked the transparent barrier and it rippled visibly, “There’s a nearly defenseless Hutt in front of me. I’m getting a little too tempted.”

  “Your lust is admirable, but I prefer feminine features in my mates.” He spoke in Huttese, then switched back to Galactic Basic, “I had a deal with your mother, Alana Kal. When she told me her son was banished, I knew I had to get my hands on you before some other fool wasted your potential!”

  Of course my fucking mother sold me out to the Hutts. I wonder how much she got paid for that little tip? Probably not much.

  “So you want me to make you some puppies and kittens?” I chuckled and took a step back as the Wookiee made angry Wookiee noises, pointing his vibrating warblade in my direction.

  “That was my original intention.” Jabba’s giant mouth smirked as a huge holographic image appeared between us, projected down from the ceiling. It was a familiar scenery. In the valley that was covered by purplish-brown Creep, there was a huge mountain of purple meat. Along with several Evolution Chambers and a couple Spawning Pools. There were also plenty of huge towering Spine and Spore Crawlers. It was one of my surface bases. I could see lots of Zerglings and Drones wandering around, well, the Drones were mining the nearby mountains and bringing the resources over to the Hatchery to digest and distribute as needed.

  “You’ve been busy in the past month, Amon Kal.” As he said that, the scene changed to my pretty green garden where a large circular metal building was being constructed by Drones. Well, they were doing their best.

  “I’m a bit of a workaholic.” I shrugged my shoulders and was surprised that he didn’t bring up any of the other bases. Did he really not know about them? That’d be kinda disappointing, because it’s not like I was hiding all that well in the first place.

  “If only all of my servants were as hardworking as you…” Jabba sighed dramatically and then waved his hand, changing the hologram to a close-up 3d image of a Zergling. Specifically, Lingling. Then there was a scene of the Zergling rampaging through a large underground facility, tearing people limb from limb. Occasionally eating the tastier-looking ones, but more focused on something deeper inside. The security cameras followed her the entire way. Some extremely powerful and durable Droids tried to stop her, but Lingling shot purple lightning out of her mouth and deep-fried their circuitry.

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  “Aww, isn’t she adorable?” I smiled as my eldest Zergling ripped through the defenses of the facility and reached the shiny metal alloy that was being produced there. She killed everyone inside and destroyed all the Doids who got in her way. Then devoured some of the material. It took a while, but she was still able to break down the bigger pieces of silvery metal and rearrange them onto her carapace. Especially her scythe-like claws. Those blade-like claws she had for hands, were also coated by the metal once she devoured some more. Normal Zerglings weren’t supposed to be able to do this kinda shit, but hey, there was nothing normal about the little monster.

  “Your biological weapons have killed my employees, destroyed my property and most importantly, robbed me of my Phrik!” Jabba didn’t seem very happy anymore. I was pretty satisfied though. Little Lingling did a good job. I mean, sure, she was probably planning on using that Phrik plating to cause chaos, but the important thing is that she managed to find a Phrik manufacturing plant.

  “Father, our Drones have secured the last of the Phrik and evacuated safely.” Obviously we knew about this shit when it happened. Phrik was almost as good as Beskar in terms of dealing with lightsabers and blasters. Coincidentally, Tatooine was one of the few places in the Galaxy where Phrikite ore was mined and where the alloy was produced, though it required Tyridirium. It wasn’t that strange that Jabba owned the place and I honestly didn’t care.

  “Sorry about that, didn’t realize Mos Algo Mine belonged to you.” I shrugged, “So what’s the business you wanted?”

  “You owe me fifty million Peggats.” He came up with a number off the top of his head that sounded like a lot, but probably wasn’t even that big of a deal for him. When I didn’t react, he seemed irritated, “And you will return my Phrik. Hand over this adorable creature of yours. She will work off her own debt over the rest of her life.”

  “You really don’t wanna have anything to do with Lingling. I love her, but she kinda scares me. If she sets her sights on you… Well, good luck.” I shook my head and asked, “So anyway, what did you actually want?”

  “Money.” Jabba glared down at me with those giant orange eyes. Then he blinked them a few times and started cackling in his signature laugh, “Fine. You can keep my Phrik and your little pet. But Amon Kal, you still owe me. I can’t let you off without a little punishment, even if I wanted to…”

  “Father, Hatchery-3 is under attack.” Izsha reported calmly as massive plasma bolts rained down from the sky over the Third Base. Without needing either of us to order anything, the hatchery and other structures, along with the surviving Zerglings and Drones quickly burrowed underground. A lot of Creep was lost, but the damage wasn’t too bad overall. There were already escape tunnels coated in Creep all throughout the mountain range. Those tunnels were spreading rapidly every day.

  “Burrow.” I gave the order to every other base. The Garden couldn’t hide as easily. But the regular plants and animals weren’t that important anyway. They weren’t even part of the Swarm.

  “Well that was annoying.” I sighed as the silly slug man laughed. I looked around at the Mandalorian, Wookiee, Droids and Gamorreans, “I’m debating whether I should just kill you all.”

  “Don’t be so arrogant, Kid.” The Mandalorian pointed his slugthrower at my face, “Your Jedi tricks can’t save you from a bullet.”

  “Are you serious?” I reached out with my right hand and Force Grabbed the gun. He watched me tossing his gun on the floor and was too embarrassed to say anything else.

  “Hah-hah-hah~!” Jabba clearly thought it was pretty funny though. His mood changed pretty fast. Eventually he told me, “This farm of yours, how much does it cost to operate? Can it be replicated?”

  “That little garden?” I raised an eyebrow as the hologram reappeared and showed the pretty green valley again, “The plants and animals have been optimized to withstand the heat and solar radiation of Tatooine. They can survive without much water, but is water expensive? If you wanted, I’m sure you could turn the Dune Sea into an actual ocean again. In a few years, I could turn Tatooine into an agriworld if I felt like it.”

  “I own many agriworlds.” Jabba shook his giant head, “If the people of Tatooine gained the ability to grow their own food, they wouldn’t need to import so much food. If they imported too much water, then the Moisture Farmers would all lose their jobs and livelihoods. The current system is working. No need to change it.”

  “If you blow up my garden to make a point, I’m gonna be angry.” I couldn’t help myself, “You definitely will not like me when I’m angry.”

  “I’m fairly angry already, Father.” Izsha grumbled in my head.

  “That won’t be necessary. If you want to sell your products in my territory, you need to pay me taxes.” He stared down at me for a while before finally getting to the point, “An acquaintance of mine also has a garden on Tatooine. Gardulla loves entertaining her guests with the many exotic creatures she’s collected from across the Galaxy. I’m sure she would be interested in these pets of yours.”

  “I’m sure she would.” I crossed my arms and nodded, “So you wanna sell her some Zerglings?”

  “Zerglings?” Jabba pointed at the holographic image of Lingling that reappeared, then the Drones, “Do you have anything bigger? More imposing and impressive? I doubt she would be satisfied with only a few of these Zerglings creatures.”

  “What about a Krayt Dragon?” I pointed to the window and a huge figure smashed into the tiny Starfighter! The ship spiraled out of control and crashed into the side of the crater, sliding down and sending giant rocks down below. The huge tan lizard flapped its gigantic glowing purple wings and glared into the building with blazing red eyes.

  *Roaar~!* That massive maw opened up and a gout of blindingly bright plasma hit the outside of the building, but a shield prevented any real damage from occurring.

  “E chutah!” The Mandalorian Merc shouted as he rolled away from the window. The Wookiee roared and looked like he wanted to go charge up to fight the dragon. Unfortunately, there was a sturdy transparent Durasteel window between the two of them. Not to mention the shields that were still holding.

  “I made some minor adjustments, but Sandy is still basically just a regular Canyon Krayt Dragon.” As I said that, we watched as the big-ass dragon pushed away from the hotel. He was getting shot at by the other Starfighters and gunships. Not to mention the anti-air turrets around the city. Fortunately he had his own shields, though they wouldn’t hold for very long under that kinda barrage.

  “This will do nicely!” Jabba bellowed in Huttese and then started laughing happily with his hands on his belly.

  I watched Sandy land and get captured by a bunch of plasma nets, then looked out towards the sandstorm again. I procrastinated long enough. It was time for me to go see my sons.

  “Anyway, I gotta go.” I turned back to the Hutt in his little bubble, “You wanna get rid of Gardulla and be the ruler of Tatooine, I can help with that. We can also do business selling exotic pets and fruits or whatever.”

  I pulled up the hood of my black cloak that was literally made of countless tiny Zerg parasites. Then walked over to the window as it finally melted apart. The hot and sandy air blasted into the building, knocking some of the droids over and sending the Twi’lek girls rolling around helplessly.

  “Pleasure doing business with you.” I waved and hopped out the window. I was surprised that they didn’t try to cleanse the Zerg parasites and microbes. But then I realized that Jabba didn’t actually know how fucking dangerous I was… How dangerous We are. At least not yet.

  “By the time he understands our danger, he will no longer exist.” Izsha bragged.

  I chuckled as I landed on the dusty and cracked street, “That’s a little exaggerated. Of course he’ll exist. His Excellency Jabba Desilijic Tiure of Nal Hutta will become the king of the criminal underworld in the future. He’s almost there already. He’s a very important slug.”

  “There are other slugs.” She retorted.

  “And yet, Jabba the Hutt is always gonna be the most famous.” Whether in life or in death, “We’ll see whether he lives up to his potential or falls short. In the meantime, we have his Essence. Time to start Cloning and experimenting.”

  “Yes, Father.”