Teddy is quite a regular dude, but he takes great care to appear desirable to the ladies. His day begins at 6 o' clock. Completely naked, he wakes up in his West Street apartment, high up in the skyscraper. First thing he does is go to another room with a large mirror on the wall, drop to the floor and do 200 pushups - entirely in the nude. How many can you do, dear reader? 20? If even? Then his calisthenics routine continues. He takes out his yoga mat and starts doing pistol squats after which he switches to un-tethered sit-ups, finishing up with jumping jacks. Each exercise is done several times per set. His body is ripped, hardcore lean - peak male physiology. The entire time he never once breaks eye contact with the mirror - his form is admired also by himself. He gives the mirror a wink and an air-kiss. He thinks to himself:

  "Yeah, check me out," while switching to doing running knee-ups, "I don't think you've ever seen anything or anyone so fucking hot."

  Indeed. After that he goes in the shower, and even though he has washed himself the evening before, he activates the sauna function there. It's important to him that he should have a beautiful complexion. After all, the first impression is the one that lasts the longest. When he finishes washing himself clean, he applies copious amounts of various skin products as well. His skin is soft, smooth and hairless. He never uses alcohol-based creams and lotions though, because they can actually dry one's skin. When did you, reader, last wash yourself?

  Teddy puts on his clothes next, but doesn't close his dress-shirt over his undershirt tank top just yet. He goes to the kitchen, and while his coffee machine brews him a cup, he looks out from his floor-to-ceiling window. Across the cavernous space between his building to the next he sees a woman in her late 40s also doing her daily routine in her kitchen. Teddy likes watching her, as she seems happy to him. He also likes that she does her morning routine completely naked as well including her kitchen activities. He can't see many of her details - he just knows she has big tits, and a bush from the 70s, dark wavy hair and a nice body. He's spent quite few of his nights ogling her with his lights out. You think that's weird?

  "She should buy curtains," Teddy thinks to himself, "Or a set of pajamas."

  DING!

  His latte is ready. Though Teddy has moderate lactose intolerance, he uses heavy milk to make his caffeinated drink. He needs caffeine, but drinking black coffee might stain his teeth and soy milk is just... well... soy! After finishing his cup and eating his fruit salad he has himself delivered every previous night from the Lacroix restaurant, he washes his teeth clean and takes his lactose intolerance medication. He doesn't want to be farting just because he's decided to give himself a little boost and wants to look good! You probably think that's incredible and borderline pathetic vanity, but you're not doing anyone any favors by not taking such good care of your first impressions yourself.

  After buttoning up his shirt and putting on his tie, he puts on his blazer. Today, he's decided to wear his best suit - bespoke and expensive as fuck. He's taking part in his first seniority meeting already at 29 years old! Nobody at his firm was that fast. But Teddy doesn't just want to have a meeting, he wants to show them that he's the real deal and that his suits are just as sublime as his deals. After putting his laptop in his leather Birkin bag, he puts on his sunglasses, pops a piece of mint gum in his mouth and steps into the elevator which takes him to the ground floor lobby. He sees a lady bum sitting in front of his skyscraper, holding out a cup for her coins - her sign says she has kids to feed. He takes out a wad of cash, counts the hundred dollar bills and goes inside. He hands the money to the two doormen and tell him to get rid of the vagrant - he doesn't want people to think he lives in a bad neighborhood like some loser. As if you would let some homeless person squat in front of your house?

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  The sun is shining bright today. Teddy sees a yellow cab driving past and he waves his hand - sure he could get an Uber, but it's much easier to litigate the Yellow Cab if they mess up his suit with their dirty seats. The cab stops right next to his entrance, now cleaned up from the unpleasant company and Teddy gets inside.

  It's now 8:02 AM. He says: "42 Wall Street. Make it snappy."

  The cab blitzes off, making Teddy wobble a little:

  "Hey, easy with the swerving, it's a new suit."

  "Sorry, ser," says the cab driver.

  "Aww, shit. He's Indian. Am I going to smell of Paneer tikka masala instead of Prada?" Teddy thinks to himself and says: "It's alright man. Welcome to America. How long have you lived here?"

  "Thank you, ser," says the Indian man, "I've been here for..."

  Teddy's phone rings, so he whips out his iPhone Pro Max + and says:

  "Just hold that thought," to the cab driver, "Yeah, this is Teddy Green speaking."

  "Theodore, hello! I'm calling you because your assistant said I could reach you if I had any investment ideas to pitch -" *click*

  It's way too early for a pitch meeting over the phone. Teddy takes out his Air Pods, starts putting them in his ear thinking "I can't stand that sitar whatever-the-fuck." But right before he actually manages that, the cab driver says:

  "Sorry, ser, I can put away the music. I've been here for 15 years."

  "Huh?"

  "You asked how long I've lived here in America - I've been hear for 15 years, I said."

  "That's great. It must be so wonderful for you here?" Teddy says. "Came here to be a fucking cab driver," he thinks, "What a jerk-off."

  "Yes. My family is back in India, I don't need much but I can send them what I make here," the cab driver says.

  "You wanna make some real money, I recommend following me on Insta - do you have that there or on your phone?" Teddy asks.

  "Yes, of course we have Instagram," the cab driver says.

  "Okay, follow me at TeddyGreenParadise. I talk about finance tips there and stuff, what to buy. I really believe in giving back to the community you know. I'm so privileged myself that I feel some of that is due."

  The cab driver says nothing. After a few more minutes they arrive - luckily the driver was able to skip some of the traffic, so Teddy leaves him a generous 5% tip. "Drove well but talked a lot," he calculates to himself. Don't lie to me. You've thought these thoughts too. Or are you better than Teddy?

  When he arrives at the office, he's greeted by the security guard "Hello, Mr. Green," says... - whats-his-name... Jefferson? Something? Doesn't matter. He greets him back with a nod.

  The elevator is luckily not populated by too many people.

  The receptionist is cute, Margot is her name. A blonde 21-year-old babe meant to welcome to the office.

  "Hello, Margot," Teddy says. He thinks "God. Office manager. Glorified 'Welcome to Costco' girl. She IS hot though."

  "Hi, Teddy. The meeting's five minutes from now. Want me to bring you a coffee or some tea while you set up?"

  "How many times do I have to tell that bitch that I'm lactose intolerant and that black coffee runs the very real risk of staining my teeth?" he thinks to himself. "No thanks, Margot, I'm good. A glass of water would be great though," he then says, "Actually... Make it a Red Bull."

  "Where would I get a..."

  "Thanks, you're a gem!" Teddy says. While walking towards the conference room past her desk and in the far end of the hallway. You've probably never taken advantage of a coworker's or someone else's good will, have you?