The day of the ball finally arrived. It would start at high noon and feature a good deal of food before the dancing. There were so many invited guests that it was not a formal sit down dinner, but the food was lined up on tables along the walls of the ballroom and people would pick and chose what they wanted as they wandered about.

  My clothes were very fine and I was amused to notice that a bluebell in just the right shade of blue was embroidered on the left side of the dark blue vest. I made a note to thank Pollinia for that lovely detail. Kara was decked out in a pale pink gown that fluttered in waves when she spun which she demonstrated for me several times on our way to the ballroom.

  Once there, I filled a plate for myself and Kara and explained what I knew of the different food items. She tried everything and I finished mostly what she didn’t like. It was finger food, so we felt very comfortable in company, not having to worry about using the right fork or holding the spoon properly.

  The food was cleared away and cleaned up after a while. Then, a lively band was set up in a high corner to provide music for dancing. Kara was enraptured by the instruments and entranced by the different sounds and tones they could make. I made a mental note to get her some music instruction at some point.

  Then, the music started and the Baron and Lady were first to dance, as is traditional. We watched from the sides, but suddenly, Kaarlo stepped up to me and pulled me into a dance without even asking. I guess I had forgotten I was the guest of honor. Luckily, the lessons paid off and I felt I did a fairly good job at it.

  Kaarlo must have noted my sense of panic and not pressed on for another dance once the first one ended. I watched Kara dance with Kaarlo, Gentric and some other young boys in attendance. As I watched, I noticed Kara was glowing. She beamed at everyone around her and everyone reacted so well to her. I realized, sadly, that she was not like me at all. I was awkward in society, preferring solitude. I had to force a smile on my face in the same situation and hope no one noticed my anxiety. She laughed and captivated all those around her, even those she didn’t know.

  I felt suddenly that I would lose her, was, in fact losing her now. She would turn away from me, see me as the awkward unrefined person I was and I would lose her. I bolted from the scene, not caring who I bumped and ran from the place.

  I didn’t stop until I found myself near the stables. The scent of hay and horses calmed me. I quickly found the ladder to the hay loft and dashed up. I threw myself onto a pile of hay, disregarding how it stuck into my fine clothes and I ignored the occasional jab from a straw poking me to the skin.

  I couldn’t say how long I lay there while I debated what to do. I nearly jumped up and packed our things about a dozen times, but I just laid there until the urge would dissipate. I sensed a presence near me just before I heard him.

  “Gavendor told me I should check the hay loft for you. He said you often went there on your own manor to be by yourself,” Kaarlo told me and I focussed on him sitting down next to me in the dusty hay loft.

  “What are you doing here? You’ll mess up your clothes,” I admonished him. Hoping he would realize that and leave. It had always worked on my siblings.

  “I am the baron of this manor. I can have as much hay and straw on my apparel as I like!” he told me in a haughty manner that I knew was not like him and it annoyed me that he would be trying to make light of things.

  “Oh, Kaarlo. Go away! Leave me alone!” I told him and put my arm over my eyes. I willed him to turn away from me in disgust and leave me to my misery.

  “No, Aebbe. I won’t. I want to be there for you and Kara. From now on,” he said and his words shredded my heart. A sob burst out of me.

  “I’m not ready to give her up, Kaarlo!” I told him, panic flaring and my words stuttering out of me.

  “No one is asking you to give up your child. We just want to give her more options in life,” he told me in a low, calm voice. I knew he was right. I knew Pardy had been right, but I just couldn’t bear the thought of my child not being by my side. What if she started judging my choices? What if she gave up the life we had made together? Tears pricked at my eyes, but I took in a deep breath to keep them at bay.

  “We are not even asking you to stay here now. When you are ready and when you judge her to be ready, you can come here together and stay here for however long you judge to be appropriate. You have skills you could apply here. You can help with our scouting, gathering. I want you and Kara to have options in your lives. It would not be like it was for you in Thornhill. We don’t run our household like yours was run. You know that. I hope you know that. We would value your contribution here in whatever form it takes,” Kaarlo said, then fell quiet. I still didn’t want to look at him.

  “Please come back to the ball. I was going to read an excerpt from one of your letters from your times with the goblins and I’m sure there will be many questions directed to you. Just talk to a few people, answer a few questions and then our guest of honor can retire…” he said and I could tell he was smirking.

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  “You kept my letters?” I asked, moving my arm away so I could look at him.

  “Of course, I did. I didn’t know about Kara, but I wanted to make sure you were safe,” he said and I could see that maybe he did still care for me. “Besides, Meig would have killed me if I didn’t keep in regular contact.”

  We laughed together then and I felt all my tension dissolve. They were right and I could pick our time to return. I would return, it was good that Kara would have every advantage I and Kaarlo could each give her.

  I nodded and stood up. We left the hay loft and brushed the straw off of each other before returning to the ballroom. Kaarlo did a fine job of reading my letter which he made sound much more official and informative that I had thought my letters had been. The whole thing was still a bit of a bore, but I did my duty in answering questions and talking to people about the goblins. It reminded me that my work would never really be over. I had become a sort of ambassador for the goblins. As I talked, I noticed Kara’s eyes shining with pride as she looked at me.

  It had been childish to be jealous of what Kaarlo and Pardy could offer her. I could see that now. Kaarlo and I danced again and I danced with Gentric, too. Kara and I both stayed until the very end of the ball, dancing with Kara a few times, and messing up quite terribly since I had only learned the lady’s part of the dance, but we laughed it off together. Even the Issakainen children were up well beyond their bed times, although the younger ones did retreat before they became too fussy.

  That night, as I laid in bed and watched Kara sleep, I made a decision. We would stay a few weeks in Wellswood, head back to Holdstone and in a few years, when she was ready and we needed a break from the road, we would come back and take the Issakainen’s up on their offer. Perhaps by then I would have revealed the identity of Kara’s father. Kara was an inquisitive soul and I was certain questions would come up. I never had any intention of lying or keeping things from her.

  When we woke and in private, I told Kara my plan and the offer to stay at the manor at some time.

  “Mama, you mean we could live here in this nice place and not have to move around?” she asked, and it hurt my heart a little.

  “Yes, sweetheart. But it will be work. You’ll have a tutor and your training everyday, or nearly.”

  “Oh, but that will be fun. Only…” she looked a little distant.

  “Only what, Kara?” I pressed.

  “I'll miss Meig and the others. I miss Emmon’s jokes already!” she told me and my heart felt much lighter. “Can they come with us?”

  “Well, I’m not sure. I’m sure Meig would be invited if we asked, but she may not want to come for all that long. You know what she says…”

  “There's always another adventure!” Kara parroted.

  “That's right! Anyway, it’s nice to have options, isn’t it?” I asked her.

  “Yes! Can I let my hair grow like Pollinia’s?” she asked and from there we moved on to the more mundane concerns of a young child. I let Kaarlo and Pardy know of our plans and promised to write when we were going to come back so they could brace themselves. They laughed good-naturedly at that and we planned the rest of our stay with them. Kara wanted to get as much sword practice as she could and I looked into buying a blade she could practice with. But when Kaarlo found out, he insisted I take his practice sword from when he was a youth. Gentric had already stopped using it and he wanted us to have it.

  So, it was heading on toward summer when we were finally packed up and headed out of Wellswood. Kaarlo had insisted on making sure we had plenty of provisions, only just short of having to add a pack animal to our party. I had said my good byes to Gavendor the night before over some pints of ale at a tavern as we regaled each other with stories of our adventures.

  All the Issakainen clan was there to see us off. I had grown fond of them, each in their own way. Pardy gave me a fierce hug and the children bowed to me or curtseyed, but hugged Kara and told her to not be gone long. I was touched at how well she got along with all of them and how they genuinely accepted her.

  Pardy shooed all the children back into the manor, leaving Kaarlo alone with us. A well of emotion came up in my chest when I noticed the wetness in Kaarlo’s gaze as he looked down on Kara as he helped her onto her mount. He kissed her cheek and told her to keep up her practicing and schooling.

  When he turned to me, my own eyes welled up. He hugged me close and kissed the side of my face. He took my hand and led me away from Kara to my horse. He put a hand gently on my waist.

  “Aebbe,” he addressed me, standing close and looking into my eyes. “When I think what our lives could have…” I put my hand on his lips to silence him.

  “No, you know I’d have been miserable and made you so, too. I’m not in the same guild as Pardama. And we both know it,” I told him. He didn’t say anything, but pulled me to him and hugged me tightly.

  “You still amaze me. You both do,” he whispered in my ear. The feel of his warm breath on me was doing strange things to my insides. He kissed my forehead when he pulled back. “Don't be strangers!”

  He stepped back and I finally mounted my horse. He looked the animal over critically, perhaps avoiding my eyes.

  “And when you get back, you’ll each get the finest horses in my stables!” He called as we urged our horses onto the road going out of town. I had Kara on a lead rope, so she was trailing behind me. I wasn’t sure he was serious, but I had been impressed with how he’d improved the horses of his estate and he’d offered to exchange our mounts before we’d left. I hadn’t wanted to thinking our poor horses would be slaughtered for meat and, besides, they were very serviceable and we were used to them as they were with us.

  "Thanks for everything, Kaarlo! Bye!” my sweet child’s voice called out behind us. She had taken to calling him by his given name and Kaarlo had allowed it. It was a testament to the relaxed atmosphere in the manor household that no one corrected or even raised much of an eyebrow over this.

  The sun was shining gently on what promised to be a fine, clear day. I wanted to look back once more and cement Kaarlo’s handsome face on that day, watching us ride out of town in his fine clothes with a slight breeze wafting through his dark hair. Unfortunately, I was too much of a coward to look back for fear either Kara or Kaarlo would see the tears on my face.