We were back in Victory Square to sign up at the Exterminator Guild’s HQ. I took a quick glance at the bench I was sitting on, by my perception of time, just yesterday being an asshole to Void. I felt a pit form in my gut from the memory.

  No, I had to stay focused. I wasn’t here to lament the past. I also wasn’t here to get a bag of Alvin’s sweet, sweet roasted chestnuts. Their aroma floated on the air and tickled my nostrils. But, once again, the line was huge. It was now around 5Af and we were in the peak part of the day. If I wanted some chestnuts, it would have to be near closing time.

  We entered the Guild and immediately triggered one of my infrequent events when I accidentally bumped into a cougar-clan woman. She was with her party: a fox-clan woman, a badger-clan man and an otter-clan man. Each of them had a wooden medallion with the number 3 etched into the surface, indicating they were all at Advancement Rank 3.

  The cougar-clan woman looked at me with a start then her eyes were drawn to my pink boots. She snorted. “Oh, look at this. We run into the summoned hero and it seems the king forgot to bring his dick along.” The rumors I was a dud was starting to get around town at this point. The castle servants talked.

  “I wouldn’t worry about his little party here,” the otter-clan man added. “It looks like the wolf-clan lass has enough manliness for the lot of them.”

  I generally didn’t register Void’s physique in my different loops apart from I found her hot. You see, she had a very well-developed muscle structure and had a slightly stocky build from her badger-clan heritage. The world here was a little weird. Mothers dictated clan and children could pick up traits from the fathers. Void had defined muscles on her arms and legs. She also had amazing washboard abs you could grate a carrot on.

  Her natural physique was also a point of insecurity with her. She viewed it as a reason why she hadn’t had any suitors beyond the homeless guy as opposed to living as a night owl. I could see her hackles raising at the slight.

  I decided to disarm the situation. “Well, you see, it takes a real man to rock pink as good as I do,” I said. I gave my best runway model strut and pointed my toe out. I added a Blue Steel facial expression for extra effect.

  The four stared at me, bemused. It was matched by quite a few others in the busy Guild office. Then someone in the room began to laugh. It was infectious and it spread all the way to the cougar-clan woman I bumped into. She reached a clawed hand over and smacked me on the shoulder. “You four fit right in. Glad to have you around.”

  “Good to see the Guild isn’t filled with a bunch of stuffed shirts,” I replied. They liked that and, as they exited, gave each of us a hearty welcome, including the otter-clan man giving Void a classic “no hard feelings” clasp on her shoulder.

  “What just happened?” Lia asked, shocked by the display. Tizek was nodding with approval since his people did the same thing to each other.

  “It’s just some ribbing,” I explained. “Exterminators risk their lives constantly, so they have built up an unusual culture. Soldiers are the same way. They build camaraderie with insults.”

  “That otter-clan man didn’t mean it?” Void asked me as her hair flattened down again. I knew she didn’t experience it in the Guard since she was ostracized from them.

  “Not really. The best way to deal with it is to either find something fun to rib them on or make a joke. I’d suggest disarming with a joke about what they just said though. It takes a bit to get used to what’s a good jab and what is an actual hurtful insult. Don’t do things like mock them getting cheated on by a romantic partner, for instance,” I said.

  Tizek looked down at my boots. “My lord? I thought you said you had no plans for the boots.”

  “Sure, they helped a bit here,” I said. “However, those four would have backed off when they realized they hurt Void’s feelings. They’re a good sort. Most of them in here are.”

  I turned to look at the Exterminator Guild hall. I really want to tell you that this place is your classic Adventurer’s Guild trope building. A roaring fire along one wall casting flickering light over a cozy rustic interior. Tables and chairs where boisterous fighters and wizards drank and ate while telling tales. Stairs leading upward to where one could rent rooms to sleep for the night. A board along another wall with paper quests to pull and complete.

  The reality? The place is basically the DMV. While the walls and ceiling were made of wood, the floor was a large slab of polished white stone which made it easy to identify and clean scuffs. Stone benches were placed face-to-face so tight you’d brush your knees against the other person if you were tall enough. Guild reception desks were sterile wooden cages with polished stone countertops. There was even a section off to the side where you’d sit on a wooden stool to get your image taken for your Guild identification slate.

  Because of the construction style, the room was mostly quiet. The stone flooring and sterile interior amplified every noise. I could hear small scuffs and taps as people walked across the floor. Most of the people inside were silently staring at the magical obsidian slates hanging from the ceiling. The slates were showing different window identifiers along with numbers presented in different colors. Yup, you had to take a number and wait to be called.

  There were stairs leading upward behind one of the myriad of windows. However, instead of comfortable beds, all that was up there were bureaucratic functions and an open floorplan office. Even entirely new universes weren’t immune to painful corporate trends.

  To our side along the wall next to the entrance was an array of different dispensers. Each dispenser, shaped exactly like an old-timey number dispenser you’d see at a sandwich shop, had a different color and description of your business. ID updates, address update, updating your Advancement evaluation, new party formation and new registration among other things.

  I gestured at the new registration dispenser and pulled a number. The other three did so as well. Based on the number on my magical ticket, which would dissolve back to the world after it was turned into the Guild employee, it was going to be a long wait. Then we waded into the silent masses waiting their turn.

  We squeezed into a spot with enough room for us. Personal space wasn’t something anyone paid attention to at the Exterminator’s Guild main branch. I squished into the space and my thigh pressed against a middle-aged coyote-clan woman in polished wood armor. I gave her an apologetic nod when Void squeezed into my other side. I could tell the coyote-clan woman wanted to ask me question, me being a summoned hero and all, but the desire to avoid making too much noise won out.

  I felt a tap at my side and turned my head. I couldn’t pivot my body without bumping into my neighbors. There, I saw Lia, who was squeezed in between Tizek and Void, looking at me. “Why aren’t we doing this tomorrow? Wouldn’t there be fewer people here?” she whispered.

  “I don’t want to waste time,” I whispered back. I then pointed up. “Besides, we won’t wait long.”

  Again, my timing was off. I was already running into the point where my accumulated decisions were beginning to affect the series of events around me. In a day or two, I wouldn’t be able to predict very well what was about to happen. I’d brief the others tomorrow about that.

  My three companions stared at me as I awkwardly pointed at the ceiling. I waved my finger and whispered. “Any moment now.” A few more beats passed as I wondered if I was being messed with by causality.

  Then a small tone rang out from a crystal embedded in the ceiling. It was their magical PA system. A garbled voice followed. There were other constants between realities and it extended to terrible speakers in public offices. “Hero Oliver, please go to window 1. Hero Oliver, window 1.”

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  “Come on,” I whispered. “You’ll be welcome, too.”

  The four of us all stood and side stepped our way down the aisle and headed to window 1. There, a beaver-clan man in the Guild uniform, a red vest over a black shirt and dark slacks, was waiting. The man looked at the four of us and tapped his paddle tail on the floor. “Why are there four of you?”

  “They’re my companions. Is that going to be a problem?” I asked.

  He gestured to the stairs leading upward. “Follow me, please.”

  As we were led upstairs, the harsh echo of shuffling clothing and shoes tapping on the floor dimmed. We entered the second floor of the building where the acoustics were far more favorable to daily use. The floor was covered in a thick mat of grass while a drop ceiling of living leaves was above our heads.

  It still didn’t change the fact we entered an open concept office. Rows of desks with workers facing each other without partitions dominated the floor. Each employee was currently passing magical quills over dark data slates, performing whatever administrative task they were engaged in. Others were transcribing physical papers or filing them. There were multiple branch Guilds around the city, mainly at each of the six gates leading beyond the walls. That was a lot of work to do.

  The destination the beaver-clan administrator was taking us to was the Grandmaster’s office. The door opened and Illian stuck his scarred face out. He gave me a warm smile before he caught sight of my companions, which changed his expression to a scowl. “Who are these three?”

  “My new companions. We’d like to get our evaluations and join,” I replied.

  Illian pushed his way out of the office and leveraged his full 195cm height on us. “Is that so? You three! How dare you try and scam the hero? He’s new to this world and he already has scum hanging on.”

  I put up my hands placatingly. “Whoa there. It’s not that. Lia here is a former castle slave the king gifted me. Tizek is fresh off the boat and doesn’t even know about what’s happing here. Void is also good.”

  Illian’s eyes turned toward me. “Are you certain about this? Leoren can be unforgiving to the naive. Now you have a crook, an immigrant and whoever that is in tow. How in blazes did you find three people you trust? You left the castle just this morning.”

  “I have a magnetic personality,” I stated. “Look. This is my ass, right? If I get killed off in an alley, the king doesn’t have to worry about the dud walking around.”

  Illian squinted at me. “You need to value yourself more. But I have to admit, there’s not much I can do to stop you. If you want this, then come with me. As for you three? I’ll be keeping an eye on you. Someone has to make sure the hero isn’t taken advantage of.”

  “Dud?” Void asked, looking at me.

  “You’ll see,” I said.

  We followed Illian back downstairs to an evaluation room. It had a similar wooden tub like the one I saw that morning at the castle along with squirrel-clan mage in blue robes standing on the elevated platform. “I’m sure you know how this works,” Illian said as he pointed to the crystal. “Get on with it.”

  I gave Lia a nudge. “Go ahead.”

  Lia looked at me with worry before stepping forward. She gripped the ball and gasped as she felt the device drain her magic. The crystal interior turned blazing red and, along with the number 0, the word Stalwart appeared.

  “Oh hoh,” Illian said, his previous aggressive posture suddenly gone. “It’s not every day someone has a special ability. If I recall right, Stalwart allows you to take less damage and you’re not easily pushed around.”

  Lia was shocked to see she had an ability. Her mouth hung open as she stared at the crystal. Illian then picked it up and heaved it into the water tub. The boiling started shortly after.

  When the water calmed and the mage cooled the contents, he leaned down to look at the lines. He shook his head and moved his mouth silently. Illian looked up at the mage with irritation. “What is it?”

  “I’m not sure if I’m reading this right. It says 125%,” the mage said as he bent over and peered at the lines in the tub. “Maybe it’s an error.”

  Illian’s face turned to Lia with a new sign of interest. “No. The crystals are never wrong. I think the hero found one of our home-grown ones. This is quite an interesting day.”

  I watched the mage as he didn’t seem to believe the Grandmaster’s claim. Still, he was a professional. He moved his body as he cast a spell and I watched water pour out of the air and into the tub to fill it back. I then tapped Void on her back. “You’re up.”

  Void took a deep breath. “I’ve been waiting for this.” She walked over and lifted the crystal. The ball shifted to a swirling purple shadow with white text. On the ball, along with the number 0, was the word Discrete.

  Illian’s eyebrow raised as he looked at the ball. He gave me a curious glance before turning to Void. “The rare shadow attunement and a special ability, interesting. Discrete means you’re able to move with unnatural silence. It’s quite useful in Dungeons.” He then tossed the ball into the water.

  After some more boiling, the mage cooled the tank and looked in again. “Sir? There has to be something wrong with the crystal. Now it’s showing 130%.”

  “Alright, bring in another crystal and let’s try again,” Illian said. “We’ll need to test the frilled-clan one to let the other two regenerate their mana.”

  It took a few minutes for the mage to fetch another crystal ball and install it. Then it was Tizek’s turn. He had an ashamed look on his face when he peered at the ball on the dais. I pulled him to a corner of the room to whisper. “I already know.”

  Tizek nodded. “I am ashamed the others will see.”

  “This is going to take some time for you, but trust me. What you have? It’s seen as a gift here,” I replied.

  The poor guy was ostracized for his attunement. His culture is a hardcore warrior one. People with his attunement and ability are looked down upon as weak. It made no sense to me considering how valuable his abilities are.

  When Tizek continued to hesitate, I spoke again. “I’m your lord, right?”

  Tizek nodded.

  “I wouldn’t steer you wrong. Do you trust me?”

  He nodded again. Even after what comes next, Tizek will maintain his embarrassment for the entire three months. I’ve never been able to change his self-image. Cultural behavior runs deep.

  Tizek shuffled over to the ball and picked it up. It began to glow with a gentle yellow light and, along with the number 0, the word Medic appeared. Illian’s eyes went wide. “This is incredible! Light attunement and Medic? You’ll be a powerful healer indeed and the perfect addition to the hero’s party.”

  Which was why Tizek deflated even further. His people hated healers. They saw it as a weakness and preferred to heal the slow way. For when there was trauma, they’d have surgeons, without anesthetics, set bones and sew up wounds. Magical healing was looked down on and light-attuned people didn’t make for the best warriors.

  Illian was completely oblivious to Tizek’s dismay and lobbed the crystal ball into the tub. The water quickly began to boil away as the rest of us watched. After the mage cooled down the pool, he bent over and looked. “I think we have a second defect. This one is showing 121%.”

  “Stop it with the defective nonsense,” Illian snapped. “Can’t you see something interesting is happening here? I bet it has something to do with Oliver’s ability. We haven’t found anything in the archives on it. Unless you know something, hero.”

  I shrugged. Illian wasn’t one I wanted to tell my little time loop secret to. He ended up sequestering me for evaluation and tests. “No idea.”

  “It seems to me it’s something to do with luck or fate,” Illian said with a rub of the underside of his muzzle. “We just had three hero-grade evaluations and all of them somehow, within a day, ended up with you.”

  “We still have mine to do,” I said.

  Illian looked at me sideways. “We already know yours.”

  I pointed at my companions. “It’s only fair they know, too.”

  “Are you sure?” Illian asked. “They may change their minds.”

  “Honesty is the best policy,” I said. Illian shook his head and indicated the mage to fill up the tub again. The mage looked at me weird and filled up the tub once more.

  I gripped my ball and the same white light shone forth along with the number 0 and Mulligan written on it. I then gave it a toss into the pool and we waited. When the time was up, the mage dipped a finger into the still unboiled water. “Grandmaster? Are you sure there isn’t a defect? Now the water feels like a cup of tea that was sitting out a little too long.”

  Illian gave a sharp, annoyed look at the mage for suggesting the equipment was busted yet again. “No, our summoned hero is an all-attuned dud.”

  I looked over at my three companions. “There you have it. You still in after this?”

  Lia, Tizek and Void all looked at each other. Tizek was still feeling down about his evaluation and said nothing. Lia shrugged. “I’m fine with it.”

  “Same here,” Void added. I knew they’d be onboard. They never wavered.

  “Great,” I said and turned to Illian. “Can you arrange a place to train? We aren’t known for our combat prowess where we come from.”

  “We already know,” Illian grumbled. “Apart from the Aoto kid, the others are having a hard time even knowing which end doesn’t hurt, so we started them on spears since it’s the easiest thing to learn. I’ll arrange a field for you, free of charge. Just because the king, Grand Creator save him, kicked you out, doesn’t mean I’ll leave you twisting. I’ll get you a map after we get you registered and made your cards.”

  “Thanks,” I grinned.

  “The IDs are provisional,” Illian continued. “You’ll need to complete five quests and show you can fight in an arena bout before you’ll be cleared for full membership. The next arena bout is in five days. The king arranged the heroes to join. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to get you in for free since the palace only paid for five of them. You’ll need a gold Sovereign each to get in.”

  “No problem,” I said. “We can cover that.”

  “I really want to ask how you got money already,” Illian said with a bemused shake of his head. “Your ID cards will double as a job board. You can use the embedded magic to search and claim work without having to come into the hall. You’ll still need to show up here to complete a quest, though. Also, one last warning. Just because you’re rated higher than the legendary Dane doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to succeed. He got where he was through grit and determination. Many have been rated higher since and their arrogance always got the best of them.”

  The three nodded to Illian’s words. He was right, the lady rated at 143% ended up dying to roadside bandits while only Advancement 1 because she assumed her rating meant everything. It didn’t matter much when outnumbered 17 to 1.

  “Do you want to form a party?” Illian asked.

  “What does do for us?” I asked. I already knew, but it wasn’t wise to let that on around Illian.

  “Parties are when four people connect themselves to share essence from monster slaying. You’ll receive a proportion of the essence equal to your rating. That way, every member of the party will always Advance at the same time,” Illian explained.

  I gave it a moment to pretend to think. I was really mulling over if we had time to get some roasted chestnuts after all this. After I determined the chestnuts would, unfortunately, have to wait for another day, I responded. “No, I think that’s a bad idea. I’ll end up holding them back.”

  “You sure?” Illian asked. “You can still advance as a dud.”

  I shrugged. “From the talk I’ve heard, it won’t amount to much. Better let the essence go to where it’s useful.”

  “You have a point,” Illian said as he pondered my comment. “You’d maybe need to be around Advancement 10 or 11 just to equal an average Advancement 1. We’ll skip that and go for the IDs since you need four members to form a party.”

  The real reason I didn’t want to form a party was because of my mana trauma. If someone in the party couldn’t Advance at all, no one ever did. I learned the hard way the first time around when no one grew. All that monster essence just ended up getting pissed into the wind.

  I looked over at my companions. “Alright. After this, I suggest we head back and end our day. It’ll be a long hard day tomorrow.”

  “When do you want to start?” Void asked.

  “I’m thinking 7Mor. Gotta get the day going early,” I said.

  Void’s eyes grew wide. She realized I just said we had to begin bright and early. She was still tuned to the night shift. Either she’d have to try and get extra sleep tonight or tough it out tomorrow. Now her expression was matching Tizek’s as we left to finish our boring business of sitting on a stool and getting our picture taken.