He juked left. Lunged right. James could hardly breathe, his lungs burned. He was running out of time. Out of options. Only one choice remained. He couldn’t help but curse his horrible luck. Another day, Another moment to fuck up and make a terrible decision.

  James slid to a stop. Staring down at the obstacles arrayed before him. This was a task he knew his body could ill afford after exhausting his energy reserves just to make it here. But his entire existence relied on this here moment. Years of familiarity, borne of trekking this path a thousand times already, should have given him sufficient confidence.

  And yet…

  He spped his face. Spped his thighs. The person next to him made sure to give him extra space while giving odd looks.

  There was no choice but to cross the Main Street during rush hour! On a green light!

  James took off with the athletic ability of a regur dude. One that had not worked out or done anything sporting since highschool. Jelly legs smmed into the ground. Noodle arms pumped like pistons in a racecar. Fueled by the endless power of a simirly endless stream of coffee.

  This was what peak masculinity looked like! Yes, he was going to crash soon enough, but for the being, he was a Titan!

  None dared to match his daring pursuit. Women screamed! Men dove to grab his willy frame; jealousy! They could not stop him. His skinny body had finally come in handy as he slipped past their urgent reaching grasp and curling fingers.

  Babies cried!

  He would make it to work on time! No one was going to stop his holy pursuit! No demon and no mortal either! Not any of these speeding cars! Not the green light! Not the screaming and surging crowds behind him roaring as though they were in a colosseum.

  Not even the old granny that caused this whole situation. Especially her.

  James knew, with his very soul, that the old hag understood what she had been doing every single morning. Eyes glimmering with evil glee. Deying him with endless idle talk and pressing him to meet any of her twelve granddaughters.

  She knew he could get fired! Conspiring to force him into a retionship!

  He got skinny, lunging past a whizzing car. Horns bring, drivers screaming obscenities, swerving wildly lest they crumple before him! Another vehicle attempted to take his head, but he stopped on a dime worthy of a star NFL running back.

  Barry Sanders would have been proud

  James gave the road a double move. Faked right and went left. He pushed his non-existent muscles to the extreme. Beyond anything they had attempted before this day. A terrified motorbike rider was sent careening to the side. He would be alright!

  The danger was real. Exhirating. His only job demanded his presence!

  …or he would get fired for being te for the millionth time. It definitely wouldn’t be because of his cursed fingers. Appliances at the grocery store he worked at seemed to go kaput at him barely touching them. The first few times had been excusable. No one could pinpoint him, only wondering what happened. There had been whispered and judgmental gres after the fifth time. Sneaking suspicion as the owner watched him like a hawk.

  James shook his head. There was no time to think! He must let his primal instinct take over and lead him to the promised nd. He could already taste his victory! The other side of the massive twelve ne Main Street called out his name. A choir of angels singing his name! His fans jumping up and down arms locked completing the wave.

  Shit!

  His momentary pse of concentration had been costly. A bck semi, engine pipes screaming with bck smog, barreled towards him. Its raging, demonic engine and defining horn covered the entire horizon. A challenger and worthy foe!

  Not worthy enough!

  James dove. Olympians could only watch on in envy and admiration as he escaped guaranteed death…

  And fell down a manhole. What the hell?! Why was there a wide open manhole in the middle of a busy street? During the rush hour?! The st thing he remembered was the retch-inducing stench and the hard concrete that met his face-first dive.

  ----------

  James felt a cold breeze invade his inner sanctum. Brushing against his supple skin. He shivered and reached for his bnket. Him kicking away his source of heat was a recurring issue. Forgetting his window open was another one.

  It had led to many days of colds and worse: the Flu.

  His fingers wrapped around a rough rag. Pulling it up to cover his head, too zy to get out of bed and shut the window. But it left his feet exposed. That was a crime. Adjusting and readjusting did not help his situation. Worse, he figured out that his most beloved bnket—thick and long enough to wrap around him like a cocoon—was not only suddenly short.

  But also not so beloved on his skin.

  Its rough texture grated against his supple modern skin. Nor a single moment of hard bor meant no calluses. Surviving off instant meals led to his generous skinny suppleness. He wasn’t too proud of it all. But he convinced himself that women would look on in envy. So white, unmarked, and perfectly soft!

  James sighed. Unable to sleep. He hoped the old granny next door hadn’t kicked his window open to sneak in again. She always looked at his soft fingers and perfect skin with an unmistakable frown of disgust and hate.

  ‘Men are meant to be tough! Who’s going to protect my granddaughters if you’re so weak!’

  The thought of the madwoman had him fuming. Remembering how she snuck in dumbbells he struggled to move made him violently sit up. He surged up, jumping to his feet to rush out of his—

  He froze midstep. All the energy in his body slowly escaped him. James let his leg down and stood comfortably before looking around. He let a whisper of a chuckle, butterflies running rampant in his stomach. The more he looked around the dipidated hut around him, the worse the feeling became.

  Sweat beads trickled down his back and forehead. One snuck into his eye, burning him.

  He had read a long article on kidnappers yesterday. They would grab unsuspecting victims into vans, beat them up, then take them to remote hunts in the countryside. Cut them up into pieces and sell their organs for cash in the bck market.

  The singur common theme among them all: A broken down hut.

  James rushed to grab the first items he could find as weapons. A bowl and a massive spoon. Both made out of wood. They could have fit perfectly in an ancient museum. Only God would know how a serial killer and kidnapper would get such prehistoric things.

  He tiptoed towards the only source of light with ginger steps. Bright sunlight leaked from all sides of the flimsy door. Blinding him.

  Every step caused a thunderstorm worthy amount of creaks and squeaks. He might as well be a herd of bison. Any serial killer behind that door would have noticed the day before yesterday. James might as well announce to the world he had finally woken up.

  James Anderson resolved himself to a life and death battle. There was no way he would allow some sicko to viote his…

  He shivered.

  Death before dishonor! Death before dishonor!

  He kept repeating it as his mantra. Resolving himself to mortal combat. He nudged the door open with the rge spoon. Its long handle gave him extra space to sneak gnces and hide behind the thin walls of the hut.

  The door squealed like a pig being sughtered. An arm screaming even louder than his thunderstorm of steps.

  I am so fucking fucked.

  James was out here with nothing but a spoon and bowl. Ancient pieces of wood that would likely crumble after the first encounter. While his kidnappers and adversaries of a life and death battle probably had machetes and maybe even guns.

  He let out a shuddering breath, then slowly peeked out from behind the open door. James dropped his impromptu weapons and gaped like an idiot for a few seconds.

  Shit!

  He scrambled to pick them up. The kidnapping beast was probably around here somewhere.

  Then again…

  Where the hell was he? He could vividly remember falling down an open manhole into a sewer. But that had been a bad nightmare, right? Right?!

  James stepped over the door sill. His bare feet and toes stepped onto cool vibrant grass, morning dew still there. He surveyed his surroundings, noticing an unused campfire to his right and a stack of firewood not too far away from it. They were tied into perfect bundles and banced vertically for some unusual reason.

  He made a mental note to move them further away from the campfire if he was stuck here. They were far too close.

  To his left was a rge expanse of grass and a single tree just sitting in the middle of it all. Said tree towered over the entire area, its canopy casting a gargantuan shadow around it. So dense and thick not enough sunlight filtered in leaving the immediate area around it bare of anything other than roots and loose dirt.

  In front of the house, about thirty paces away, was a small river. James walked up to it. The moving water so clear he could see the very bottom, covered in river stones. He could cross it with a running jump or even stride across it. The currents were slow and peaceful.

  James looked left and right. The river kept going into the distance. Disappearing at the edge of what seemed like a pteau.

  He could not recall any in the direct vicinity of the main city. How long was he knocked out for his kidnapper to drag him this far away from civilization? James followed the river until he reached the pteau’s edge. He peered over hoping to catch a glimpse of something he was familiar with—

  What the fuck…?

  James looked up. He let his eyes slowly fall down until he was looking straight down from the edge. It was clear skies all the way through. He could see the bottom of a flying isnd, roots sticking out from the side. Then it was just an endless blue sky below it.

  He could see tufts of thick clouds far underneath. But that shouldn’t have been possible. Unless…

  Did that mean he was past the first yer of the atmosphere?! Looking back up only made him more confused. The clear blue skies above him with simir thick white clouds floating along. Not an ounce of stars or possible outer space void. Shouldn’t he be able to see the moon or the bckness of space this far up?

  James wobbled. He fell back onto his butt. The world spun around him. Vertigo. He let out a nervous ugh.

  Did I just get isekai-ed?

  Zer0n1gh7s