Chapter 23: The Crazy Relatives

  He Ming had his backpack on, wore glasses, and arrived at the underground parking garage. He pushed out the motorcycle and was about to ride away when he was suddenly surrounded by over ten people.

  "Cousin, cousin! Younger male cousin, younger male cousin." A group of people were chattering away, and He Ming finally understood. Earlier, he had promised to buy them an Apple phone, so they had been waiting especially for him.

  He Ming carefully counted them and found that there were about 16 people in total, including his cousins, siblings, and relatives, all of whom were related to him by blood.

  "Okay okay okay. Who among you can drive the Hummer H1 next door?"

  "Cousin, does a tractor count? I'm the tractor king of our village," said one cousin with a smirk. He Ming let out a sigh and said, "Catch Si Tu Haoran for me."

  Situ Haoran got drunk, but was stimulated with cold water and woke up screaming. He then sat in the driver's seat, and the Hummer H1 was packed with 15 people. He Longhao heard that He Ming was going to take people shopping and insisted on coming along. The remaining one was a nephew of about seven or eight years old, who was the grandson of He Dad's older brother's son.

  He Ming heard this relationship was indeed a headache. He got on the motorcycle and said to He Longhao, "Hold on tight, don't drop your nephew."

  "Uncle, I'm not afraid, I often fall off motorcycles. I'm fine! Uncle, wait and buy me a game console, okay?" The little boy said bravely, He Longhao chuckled and rubbed his head, then said to He Ming: "Brother, nothing's wrong, we're all Little Qiang, invincible superheroes!"

  "Alright, let's get on the bus and go." He said, waiting for He Longhao and his nephew to board the bus. As He Ming rode past the Hummer H1, he looked at the crowded interior and said to Xiāo Zǐ Rán, who was smoking lightly: "If you cause any trouble on New Year's Day, don't follow me!"

  "Brother, trust me. I'm the Car God, the Car King, the Car Devil. Only I can knock people dead, no one can knock me dead!"

  "Stop messing around and be serious for once! Go to Commercial Street!" He Ming thought of a good spot and set off on his bike.

  Today is the first day of the Lunar New Year, usually no business, but He Ming was very clear that business came to the door, and even if there's a death in the family, he would still take it.

  Many shops on the commercial street have their stores downstairs and live upstairs, where they eat and sleep, so when you go there, the store is definitely open.

  I just hope nothing happens. As a result, Sito Ho-yin got excited for the first time driving such a big car like Hummer H1 on the road, constantly speeding up, intimidating some small cars, being extremely arrogant, and people inside the car were also very excited or scared, shouting and screaming wildly.

  He Ming shouted on one side: "Calm down! Don't drive so fast!"

  Situ Haoran pretended not to hear and shouted: "What? Brother? You said open it faster? Got it!"

  He Ming hated him so much that he wanted to chase after and kill him. Fortunately, nothing happened in the end, thanks to heaven's blessing.

  On the bustling commercial street, a red giant suddenly rushed in, and then everyone stared in surprise as one by one they "crawled" over.

  He Ming also rushed up, without saying a word, and charged over to hit Si Tu Hao Ran. If there had been an accident just now, he would have been finished, and so many relatives, uncles and elders would have been wiped out.

  "You bastard! Can't you be serious for once? You're almost 30 years old!!" He Ming strained to choke Si Tu Hao Ran's neck.

  Situ Haoran still smiled and said: "I am forever 18 years old, forever young and lovely. My heart is forever young!"

  He Ming let go of the scoundrel, counted the number of people and said: "Let's go, follow me, don't get scattered. If you get scattered, call Dad and Mom, or my dad and mom."

  "Brother, what if we don't have a mobile phone?" Several small ones without mobile phones shouted.

  "You'll be lost in no time, so don't wander off before we get our phones. Otherwise, none of us will be able to find you," He Ming threatened. With a large crowd, they arrived at the Digital Plaza on Commercial Street. It was also open on New Year's Day, and there were quite a few people. Yes, it was the new year, so there were even more people, and business was booming.

  He Ming took everyone to the place where Apple phones were sold and said, "Choose whatever you like. If you have brothers or sisters who didn't come, choose one for them too."

  "Oh oh oh oh! Too good!" Everyone cheered and went to choose their own, the waiter was busy.

  "Brother, can I also pick one?" He Longhao said with shining eyes.

  He Mingdao said: "You already have two, what else do you want?"

  "Take it back and show off!" He Longhao begged: "Please, brother!"

  He Ming nodded: "Choose whatever you like. By the way, Long Hao, what does your sister do at home? Is it tiring?"

  He Longhao held up his mobile phone, thought for a moment and said: "My sister and I, as well as my parents, are all farming. Of course, farming is my dad's thing, my sister is fair and delicate, does she look like a farmer to you?"

  He Mingxiang thought for a moment and then whispered: "You're so dark, though. By the way, has your sister ever been in love?"

  He Longhao's expression turned gloomy, and he said mysteriously, looking around: "Brother, my sister has never been in a relationship. As for the people who pursued her at school, to be honest, there were countless people, densely packed."

  "I'm so dark, that's normal, our village is near the big mountain, we climb the mountain all day to play, so it's like this. Look at Ah Long and Ah Cheng, they're not like this either?" He said, pointing to a few people around his age who were particularly dark-skinned.

  He Ming nodded and said, "That's good, but why are you using idioms indiscriminately? What's with the 'people mountain people sea' and 'dense and numerous'? Your sister isn't even a precious treasure. You're making such a big deal out of it."

  He Longhao picked up one iPhone and put down the other, thinking about which one to choose, saying: "I learned from He Ran. He said it's more cultured this way. Brother, which one should I buy?" As he spoke, he looked at He Ming, who naturally understood what he meant.

  He Ming shrugged and said, "Just buy them all."

  With someone else's sister almost in his grasp, would he still care about one or two Apple phones?

  He Longhao continued to hold the handheld game console, and his nephew was already excitedly holding one, with the waiter demonstrating the handheld game console going crazy.

  He Ming looked around and saw that everyone was excited, choosing the ones they liked. He continued to approach He Longhao and said, "Little Hao, what is the relationship between my family and your family after all?"

  He Longhao's brain didn't understand turning corners. If we said we had no relationship, He Ming would be happy, and soon they really did have a relationship. But He Longhao said: "Of course we're relatives, brother! My grandfather's father and your grandfather's father are brothers. So, we're relatives, right?"

  He Ming thought for a moment, indeed, this generation gap is too big, it's almost Qing Dynasty, no wonder his mother said, if you like her, just marry her.

  It's great, He Ming thought, but what about Zhou Qingyun? She was already his girlfriend. And Zhou Qingyun was really beautiful, with 95 points of beautiful legs, it was really a dilemma.

  One is a loved one, the other is little brother's loved one, it's hard to choose. He Ming used to say online that he wouldn't take the initiative but also wouldn't refuse, but now it's really troublesome.

  "Brother, brother, we've finished buying." Several relatives walked over, their faces excited as they spoke to He Ming. He Ming waved his hand and said: "Continue choosing, tablet computers, laptops, game consoles, choose one of each. But hurry up a bit."

  Relatives got even more excited and upon hearing that time was limited, they directly went for the best, most expensive and greatest one.

  He Ming was torn between his true love and his little brother's desire, but in the end he stuck to his principles and neither took the initiative nor refused.

  That's right. He Ming made up his mind, actually deep down in his heart, he had already seen Zhou Qingyun's inner weakness. In this materialistic world, if the person she was waiting for, who was himself, gave up on her, then He Ming would become the biggest destroyer of her life.

  This wasn't a pleasant outcome, so He Ming decided that tomorrow he would go take a look at Zhou Qingyun, maybe he could settle both his cousin and her at the same time.

  Hehe. He Ming smiled. He Longhao whispered to Situ Haoran, "What's wrong with Brother He Ming? His smile is terrifying."

  "Waiter, wrap this up, and that too." Si Tu Hao Ran said to the waiter, glancing at He Ming casually, "Little fatty, that's called a lustful smile. Do you understand? Don't tell me you're still a virgin."

  He Longhao said: "Hao Ran Ge, you underestimate me. In my school, I am known as the 'Love Saint'. More than 10 girls have fallen for me."

  Situ Haoran sized up He Longhao's expression, seeing that he didn't look like he was lying or bragging, and nodded: "Not bad, keep up the good work, I have high hopes for you. Your charming appearance, your elegant demeanor, you're already half as good as me. Keep it up."

  He Longhao nodded, clenched his fists, and held the Apple phone in his hand, saying: "When I get back, with a flick of my Apple phone, many chicks will rush into my arms! At that time, I'll be like a busy little bee, passionate and unrestrained, lingering among the flowers, dancing lightly."

  Situ Haoran stroked his chin, sizing up He Longhao's figure, and said: "A bee as fat as you, I've never seen one before."

  He Ming saw that it was almost time and shouted: "Everyone hurry up. We still have to go buy other things."

  Everyone suddenly sped up, and the goods quickly piled up into a small mountain. The manager, with a smile all over his face and full of enthusiasm, directed the fastest service staff to hurry up and calculate the bill. As a result, 18 people spent 10 minutes consuming 534,000 yuan.

  He Ming directly swiped the card and took everyone away. He Longhao exclaimed all the way, "Brother, 534,000 yuan! You didn't even blink your eyes, you're really carefree and handsome, majestic and dignified, with an aura of supremacy."

  He Ming glared at Sito Ho Yan, who had bought the most Apple mobile phones and tablets, and wouldn't even let go of laptops and game consoles, not to mention digital cameras: "Big brother, can you please stop corrupting Little Ho? Misusing idioms is also considered cultured?"

  Situ Hao Ran looked at He Ming with a gaze that seemed to see right through him, until He Ming said: "What do you mean, looking at me with this kind of gaze?"

  " Ignorance is not your fault, what's important is that you're ignorant and don't admit it. Idioms are one of the greatest and most excellent manifestations of our nation's civilization. Which country, which language has idioms? Such vivid and beautiful idioms? Elegant, passionate, full of beauty and flavor. Unparalleled, super cool..."

  He Ming directly walked away from this garrulous monster, He Long Hao looked at Sutu Haoran with adoration.

  "Pick whatever you like." He Ming took the group into a specialty store, of course not comparable to top brands, but the prices were also in the hundreds, and the relatives were all thrilled. He Longhao directly took off his own pants, threw away his down jacket, and put on new clothes, and crazily grabbed whatever clothes he saw that fit, the sales staff were busy sweating profusely, wishing they had more hands to serve this group of people.

  He Ming thought that He Xiaoqian hadn't changed her clothes yet, so he personally selected a lot of suitable clothes for her. Situ Haoran would definitely not miss this opportunity, and he also picked out some men's clothing and women's clothing. He Ming thought, this guy is still kind-hearted, and hasn't forgotten his own wife.

  As a result, the clothes in this store were almost sold out. The owner was a beautiful young woman who was very happy to calculate the amount, which finally came to 2,315,000 yuan.

  He Ming swiped his card and walked out of the door, telling Sutu Haoran: "Call a large truck and also get 3 taxis."

  "No problem." Situ Haoran nodded, using his new Apple mobile phone to start making a call. He pulled out the SIM card from his old phone and casually threw it away, kicking it far away like a football: "Oh oh oh, I'm Emperor Li Yi!"

  "We'll put the clothes on the Hummer first," He Ming said, directing his excited relatives to load the goods onto the Hummer's roof rack. There were four or five hundred bags of clothes alone. Then they entered a shoe store and he said, "Let's sweep up some goods! If you see something you like, take it down. I'm buying for Dad, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, and all my brothers and sisters who aren't here."

  "Hurray! Brother, you're awesome!" The relatives were excited and went to sweep again. He Longhao said with a flattering tone: "Brother, you're really amazing! If sister saw this, she would definitely secretly admire you, passionately rush into your arms, and be deeply in love with you..."

  He Ming interrupted him and said, "Tomorrow, your sister is going to Songjiang with me to sweep away luxury goods stores. A pair of Italian alligator skin shoes costs tens of thousands. That's what I call fierce. Do you want to go?"

  Heilonghao almost fainted, his dark and chubby face, a pair of eyes were about to pop out. He swallowed a few mouthfuls of water and said: "Brother, did you hit me? I feel like I'm dreaming..."

  Bang! - Si Tu Hao Ran slapped him without hesitation, saying: "How's that? Don't blame me for being cruel, you weren't dreaming." Then he turned to He Ming and almost knelt down: "Brother, you've always known my true heart. My loyalty to you is witnessed by heaven and earth, illuminated by the sun and moon -"

  "You go too, be in charge of driving, your wife goes too, be in charge of dressing." He Ming had long planned to cultivate Si Tu Hao Ran into his top confidant. It wasn't because Si Tu Hao Ran was a talented person, but simply because having such a shameless person by his side made He Ming appear infinitely brilliant and great.

  He's indeed a man who lives up to Master Sword Saint Yuke's expectations. He Ming thought to himself, stroking his chin.

  He Ming then picked out shoes for He Xiaoqian, and also instructed He Longhao to buy shoes for his father and mother. Just like buying clothes earlier, the uncles and aunts were also pleased.

  Then ten minutes later, the store was swept away again, consuming over 2.4 million yuan. A large truck had arrived, and there were also three taxis. Under Shi Tu's high price of one thousand yuan per person, of course, He Ming paid the bill in the end.

  Everyone worked together to move the goods into the large truck, filling it up to two-thirds full. He Ming thought for a moment and said, "There's a big supermarket nearby, we should buy some food too." Then he told Sutu Haoran, "Go contact another large truck, no, three!"

  Then he said to his relatives, "We're going to the big supermarket on another street. You guys hurry up, just buy what you want directly. Don't look at the price, just look at the time. It's 3:45 now. I'm giving you half an hour to shop. I stress the time! When the time is up, I'll leave and you'll pay for it yourself!"

  "Still going shopping? Big supermarket we know, everything is there? Buy everything?"

  "Right, buy everything, take whatever you want, the only requirement is speed, speed, speed!"

  "Hurray! He Ming is so cool!" The crowd went wild, and the youngest nephew was also jumping up and down with a handheld game console. Just now, the little guy had been buying things frantically, regardless of whether he or his parents could wear them.

  As soon as they entered the supermarket, He Ming said: "Go ahead, buy whatever you want!"

  He Long Hao and Situ Haoran rushed to the most expensive place, a rush of various local health products, he thought they were the most expensive, but Situ Haoran was a local, naturally knew that imported ones were the most expensive, such as imported chocolate, imported coffee, high-end cigarettes, and red wine.

  He's quite righteous, seeing He Longhao desperately moving a few boxes of health products, he couldn't help but scold: "Fool, those are worth less than a few hundred. Imported chocolate is 30 yuan per piece, 300 yuan per pack, come over quickly and grab the cigarettes, high-end wine, don't be foolish, this is a one-time opportunity, we're going to fleece He Ming that fat sheep!"

  He Longhao was too greedy and said: "Brother, let me take the health products over first. Can't waste them."

  Situ Hao Ran rolled his eyes and snatched his own things away. This idiot really didn't understand how to make choices, with limited time, he gave up the watermelon for a sesame seed.

  He Ming stood at a checkout counter, only responsible for swiping cards to pay, and the person in charge of this large supermarket had also arrived upon hearing the news.

  He was a middle-aged man who said: "Isn't this the great archaeologist, Teacher He Ming? Your arrival is truly a blessing for our humble shop, and we are honored to have you here!"

  Another one who likes idioms. But being called a teacher feels great. He Ming nodded, pretending to be humble and said: "You're overpraising me, it should be me who's deeply honored to be able to shop at the largest supermarket on this street."

  "Haha!" The two of them exchanged pleasantries, while the several waiters around them exchanged a glance. He Ming was indeed as fake as people said online.