"hi evywun. jonafon haz left mi hangin in da midl of a fungus forest wiv a bunch of puky goblins and gon off to rite anuva storee. can yoo beleev dat guy. dat iz juz rood. if he duz it agin i iz goin to git mi flask out. anyway dere iz no way dat wun will be betta dan dis wun so don go anywer. stoopid riterz. so i iz juz goin to wate heer... atualy mibby i shood try an werk out how dis cloke werks dat ze cont gav mi. i fink he sed wen it likes mi i juz got to pul it closed at de front an i tern into--"

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  SSCCCCRREEEEEEEEEEEEECCH!

  SCREEEEECH! SCREEEECH!