Chapter 86: Illusory Lover

  I shoved Melinoe back and stepped away from her and only realized that I might have been too rough when her back hit the wall, forcing the air from her lungs.

  “What do you mean, 'again'?” I demanded. “What is going on here?”

  She spped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. Clearly she hadn't meant to say that. What was going on? My mind raced, trying to come up with an expnation.

  Melinoe was rumored to use illusion magic. Had she tricked me by taking on the appearance of one of my girls? Or, worse, had Yume cast a gmour on her? I ran back through every intimate encounter I'd had since we'd met her, the butt py I'd gotten up to with Anna and Selene, teasing Athena in that alleyway, the orgy with all of my girls afterwards, that night with Alisha and Athena...

  I tried to imagine Melinoe in those situations, pretending to be one of the others, and I just couldn't. And then I had to will myself to calm down as I realized that the idea of already having had Melinoe in bed with me had gotten me pretty excited. I shook myself out of it. There was no way she would have been able to keep her cool in any of these encounters, as each and every one had gotten pretty freaky and I'm pretty sure that, even under a perfect gmour, I would have noticed if any of them had acted differently.

  But if that idea was a bust, then what was going on here?

  “Can we just pretend I didn't say that?” Melinoe asked meekly. She was still flustered, still hot for me but I couldn't just let this rest.

  “I've been ignoring way too many things that didn't add up,” I said. “This was the st straw. What's going on?” Judging by the way she shrank back my tone must have been a lot harsher than I'd intended.

  “I...” she squeaked, then took a deep breath. “Look, it's not my fault!”

  I tilted my head and watched as she slumped to the ground, pulling her knees in close and leaning against the alley wall. She looked so pitiful like that.

  I sat down next to her and asked again, now much gentler: “What's going on?”

  She took another deep breath, and this time it only barely avoided sounding like a sob.

  “Don't be mad, alright?”

  I stroked her cheek in reply, and the gentle touch seemed to calm her.

  “It all started that night when Alisha and Yume invited me to compare notes on magic with them,” she began. “We spent hours on it. I taught them some of my tricks and they showed me some of theirs. It was a really pleasant, enlightening conversation. And Yume was considering showing me how all of you are using those Qi techniques when... Well, Alisha started getting frisky with Yume.”

  “Did you see something you didn't want to?” I asked.

  “No, nothing like that,” she said. “I mean, it was super awkward. I was sitting there, watching Alisha fondling Yume and Yume gradually deciding to reciprocate.” Yeah, I could see that. I just hadn't thought they would do that kind of thing in front of, well, strangers. “So I thought I would remind them that I was still there and asked about their retionship with you.” She paused, then hurried: “Look, I thought we would just gossip about you a little bit. I didn't expect them to do that.”

  “What happened?” I asked. “Did they do something?” I could see Alisha getting swept up in the moment and doing something stupid to a woman who might be interested in me but I would have expected Yume to reel her back in.

  “I... At first we did gossip. They told me how amazing you were and how much they loved you. I asked them if they were jealous of Selene and Anna getting you to themselves for the night and they told me it was fine and that they would just have fun together. And that you're apparently fine with that.”

  “I am,” I said. “When it stays within our little group.”

  She winced. “Yeah. So eventually Alisha asked me if I was curious. I guess I got caught up in the moment and just said yes. And so she asked Yume to show me her memories.”

  My eyes widened.

  “It was the second night you two spent together, the one where Selene was watching,” she said quietly.

  “Did Yume pce you into Selene's position?” I asked.

  “No,” she said quietly. “I was Alisha. I saw everything, felt everything, lived through the entire memory. The way you... I felt it all.”

  “Gods...”

  “Yeah,” she said, then continued: “When I came to I was on the bed, the two of them over me. Whatever hesitation Yume had had about Alisha's request was gone and... I asked for another memory. I know that was wrong. I knew I shouldn't have done it, even then. I know it was an invasion of privacy I can never make up for but... I still asked for it.”

  Gods above. Everything made more sense now. That was what she was embarrassed about, that was why she'd been so hesitant to talk to me about it. She thought she was in the wrong for being shown things she had no business knowing. Because even if she had asked for more herself, they should never have put her in that situation in the first pce. “What did they show you?” I asked.

  “The night you conquered Yume,” she said quietly. “The thrill of the chase, pretending to struggle against you, being overpowered and taken...”

  I exhaled. The idea of someone I barely knew knowing so much about me was mortifying enough, but her seeing that memory in particur was even worse. What I had done that night with Yume made perfect sense for her and for our retionship but it wasn't the kind of image I wanted to have in front of other people. But then again, she hadn't simply seen that without context, she had experienced it from Yume's point of view.

  “And they showed me more and more, all night, all of their fondest memories with you and with each other. You manhandled me while Yume teased me relentlessly, you drove me into the bed as if you were really trying to breed me, you held me close and made love to me and then...”

  “And the next morning I treated you with suspicion.” I sighed. Gods, what a mess.

  She nodded. “Of course the next morning Alisha and Yume realized what they'd done, how it had affected me and so they made sure to talk to me, to help me work through what I was feeling.”

  “And that only made it more suspicious, that you were suddenly spending so much time together,” I said.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that's a beautiful mess,” I said.

  “You say that like that's the whole story,” she said.

  I looked at her.

  “At that point I might have just let it go. It had been a weird night but I didn't know you. I liked you, if only for the fact that grandma hated you, but we'd barely even talked. But then I saw you fight Albrecht.”

  I didn't say anything.

  “I've never seen anything like this,” she said. “I must have watched each of the Great Heroes fight thousands of matches in that coliseum. Every new warrior Hero who shows up on the Elysian Fields tries to have a go at the Great Heroes, trying to prove that he's better than the legends. And almost without fail they get stomped into the dirt by people who have had centuries more experience. But when you fought Albrecht... I already knew what kind of lover you were and how tender you could be to those who had earned your trust but there I saw that that same person was also one of the most capable fighters I had ever met. And so I... became slightly obsessed with you.”

  I sighed.

  “So when you started sneaking off that night I followed,” she added and the sigh got stuck in my throat.

  “So you saw.”

  “I did,” she said. “On top of everything I knew about you already I also saw you bullying a goddess, a proper goddess, not some faker like me.”

  I swallowed.

  “And that's when I decided to come along with you all, to see where things might go,” she said. “I didn't lie to you, I took part in this because it was the right thing to do and so I could lord it over grandma, but I came along with you all because...”

  “You were curious about the others,” I finished.

  “Yes.”

  “So when I found you that morning...” I began.

  “It was after Yume had showed me all of Selene's and Anne's favorite memories with you as well,” she finished.

  “So that was your idea, then.”

  “I didn't think about it like that at the time but yes, I came along because I wanted that to happen. I have no excuse for that.”

  She paused but I didn't say anything. I could tell she wasn't done yet.

  “And somewhere along the way I got it in my head that I wanted memories of my own like that,” she said, her voice breaking the littlest bit. “I didn't just want to experience their lives, I wanted to know what it would be like to have that for myself.”

  “See, that's what I don't get,” I said and she looked at me for the first time since this conversation had begun. “You say you wanted to feel cherished and loved the way my girls feel. But you are a demigoddess. You can have your pick of men and women, whoever you want. Why me, why us? You must have had lovers like us before, many times.”

  “I've never had lovers,” she said quietly, looking back at the marble floor. “I've had worshipers and sycophants. People who wanted to be with the demigoddess Melinoe, with the daughter of Hades and Persephone, with the ruler of Melinoe's Rest, with the apprentice of Hecate. But you love Alisha regardless of her connection to the Silvermoon cn, love Anna regardless of her royal lineage. I've never felt that. I've never had anyone love me for who I am.” She sobbed. “But with the way you were treating me this whole trip...”

  I sighed. This was way too complicated. By all rights I should be furious at her for knowing so much I never wanted anyone else to know about our retionship. I should want to bend Alisha and Yume over for creating this situation in the first pce. But mostly I just felt bad for Melinoe. She looked so pitiful, huddled up against that wall. She had practically been forced into having a crush on me and that crush had been left to fester even as I had repeatedly treated her like dirt, like a nuisance at best and an enemy at worst.

  The easiest way would just be to give her what she so clearly wanted. Maybe she would lose her obsession after having the real thing and finding it wanting. But that was my dick talking. Yes, I was physically attracted to Melinoe, there was no way to deny that. And having her talk about some of the hottest, most intimate moments of my life had understandably gotten me riled up. I even liked her, from what little I had seen of her personality. That false air of confidence that would crack at the slightest provocation was strangely endearing, though less so now that I could tell it came from a pce of real insecurity.

  “Well,” I said. “Now you've seen me at my best and at my worst, I suppose. How do all those memories stack up against the way I treated you up here?”

  “It's not as if I don't understand you,” she said. “It must have looked suspicious. I do think that suspecting me of being a traitor was a bit over the line but...”

  “You noticed that, did you?” I asked with a wince.

  “Yeah.”

  “And that's what had me so conflicted,” I said. “I kept treating you like that but again and again you came through for us.”

  “I did,” she said. “But where does that leave us?”

  “With a burning need to give Alisha and Yume a stern talking-to,” I said.

  “They didn't do anything I didn't want them to,” she said.

  “And yet, if they'd held back even a little bit, this whole misunderstanding wouldn't have happened.”

  “And then I would never have realized what I've been missing,” she said quietly.

  “I can't just instantly fall in love with you and give you what you want, you know?” I said.

  “Does that mean you don't want me?” she asked, more vulnerable than I'd ever heard her.

  In response I reached over, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her over until she was straddling me. Despite the serious conversation she was warm and wet for me still. “I want you,” I reassured her. “But it means we'll have to take it slow.”