Chapter Thirteen: Screenwriting is Not Easy

  The big bird Luchi stared blankly, and Yi Feiyang smiled with the trend: "Yes, we are discussing which screenwriter is a fool. Little Robert, you say, who will it be?"

  "It's... " Not waiting for the little kid to answer, Uncle Luchi hurriedly covered his nephew's mouth. "Hehe, your topic is quite special... Actually, I've always said that Yi Jianlian is a good person, so young and handsome, hehe!"

  "Oh, really? Am I that great? Your nephew doesn't seem to think so!" Yi Feiyang said, "And he says you're a big action movie star. Do you want me to tell him what kind of wonderful action movies you're actually filming?"

  Lu Chi couldn't laugh anymore and leaned in close to Yi Feiyang's ear, "Please, give me some face! I was wrong, okay?"

  "Well, it depends on your future performance."

  "Don't worry, I will absolutely obey orders."

  ……

  The two of them were muttering over here, Little Robert scratched his head and couldn't help but ask: "What are you guys talking about?"

  "I'm telling your uncle that you've sold him out, what kind of reward should he get?!" Yì Fēi Yáng said with a smile.

  "Really? You can get a reward for betraying someone?" Robert asked incredulously.

  "Of course, go ahead, what do you want?"

  "I want to become a big star like Uncle!"

  "Good, you have ambition! However, don't learn from your uncle, he's a bird-brained celebrity... a bird-playing celebrity! You must become a real superstar in the future, acting in many movies that audiences love. For example, you can act in 'Vampire', the handsome type, and make all the girls fall for you!"

  "Can I... really do it?" The future "Twilight Boy" said with a lack of confidence, "Can I play the role of a cool 'vampire'?"

  "Of course!" Yi Feiyang took a button from his sleeve, "Here, this is our agreement. No matter when, as long as I have that ability, you just need to give me this button and I will make you a star!"

  "Is everything you said true?" Little Robert grasped the button tightly, as if it were a "magic bean" from a fairy tale.

  "Of course it's true, I never cheat people, I will make you a big star!"

  "Is it the really big one?" Little Robert's eyes were full of stars.

  "Ah, it's just that kind of thing."

  "Bigger than Sylvester Stallone?"

  "Bigger than Sylvester Stallone."

  "Where's Ano?"

  "You're talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he's even older than you!"

  "Hurray! I'm going to be a big star someday!" Little Robert exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

  Da Niao Lu Qi watched from the side as Yi Fei Yang was so good at "coaxing" little kids, and couldn't help but say with gratitude: "You're really talented, I've never seen him so happy before."

  Yi Feiyang's mouth twitched, and he said slyly: "I'm not coaxing him to be happy, what I said is all true, your nephew will be very popular in the future!" Then added another sentence, "Popular all over Hollywood!"

  Lucy shrugged and thought, "Nonsense, bragging without a draft!"

  ……

  A crude adult version of "SpongeBob SquarePants" filming scene.

  Yi Feiyang, a rookie screenwriter, directed the staff to design and set up the scene, modify the stage type, and most importantly, communicate with the lighting and prop master brothers about how to light up during filming and arrange the props.

  Apart from this, Yi Feiyang also had to take care of the emotions of actors such as Natasha and Da Niao Luchi, reminding them of the new script's storyline.

  "My request is simple, this is not just a pornographic film, but a story movie. I want you to cooperate with my shooting method and use direct and effective cartoon expression methods to complete this adult version of the fairy tale story. Do you understand?"

  Natasha and Big Bird Rucci shook their heads together, "Don't understand."

  Nonsense, Yi Feiyang said too much, in the past when they shot AV, whether it was the director or the screenwriter, they only told them one sentence: "Work hard!"

  Yi Feiyang scratched his head, now he somewhat understood, originally filming wasn't that simple!

  "To put it simply, I want you all to show your most innocent and cartoon-like best side. For example, Big Bird Ruchi, what do you think is your strongest point?"

  Dà niǎo lǔ qí hěn bù kè qi huán de dǒu le dǒu, "zhè hái yòng wèn?!"

  Translation:

  The big bird Luchi shook his head with a hint of impoliteness, “Does that even need to be asked?!”

  Natasha shook her big breasts in a similar manner.

  Yi Feiyang is about to be speechless.

  "Alright, I give up explaining to you guys... Hey, Fat Jack, come over and talk to them!" Yi Feiyang had no choice but to send Fat Jack out, after all, he was the screenwriter before, so he should be able to communicate clearly with them.

  "Oh, master, I'm here!" Fat Jack jumped over like a little flying elephant.

  "You guys, your understanding ability is really too poor, it's not me saying you! Look, writing a script is so hard work, and then there's the rehearsal, it's like one person doing three people's job, even if he was the lead cow he'd be exhausted to death, and yet he still patiently teaches you guys... but after saying all this you still don't understand, really stupid!" Fat Jack hadn't even opened his mouth before he started scolding.

  Yi Feiyang couldn't help but interrupt, "Alright, alright, let's get to the point and stop flattering!"

  "Alright, now let's get back on track. Let me tell you how to perform this play... That big bird Luchi, you're going to dress up as SpongeBob SquarePants, wear a yellow sponge costume, walk in front of Natasha and say, 'Hello, dear friend, I'm SpongeBob, I'm feeling depressed right now, can you make me happy?' Natasha will be playing the role of Sandy, that is, a beautiful female squirrel with smooth fur. You need to fully display your feminine charm, seduce him, attract him, tease him... in short, lure him into bed..."

  Yi Feiyang initially thought it was okay when he first started listening, at least this fat guy Jack could understand his difficulties. However, the subsequent plot he talked about was just... too ridiculous.

  "Right, you guys work hard, work extra hard! Imagine yourselves as Superman and Wonder Woman, use your whole body's passion to ignite this poor bed, make it squeak and beg for mercy!" Fatso said with flying spittle, passionate and energetic.

  "Other actors, come here! Look at your bald head, you must be playing the role of 'Pai Dan Xing', a big supporting actor with strong limbs and simple brain, with an IQ of negative numbers; And you, with two horns on your head, you must be playing the role of 'Crab Boss', who is extremely stingy and stingy to the point of bleeding; As for you, no need to say, with eight legs and a shiny green hat, you must be playing the role of 'Octopus Brother', a literary youth in the play..."

  "Listen up, everyone! Later on, your part is very simple. During the battle between SpongeBob and Sandy Cheeks, you'll form a cheerleading squad and loudly cheer them on! Remember, your expressions should be excited, exaggerated, and thrilled, as if you've been struck by lightning... Your movements should be dramatic and forceful, like a burst of energy from a spring awakening..."

  "In short, you must remember these two points: you are the actors and also the audience. Success or failure depends on you. You are the soul of this play. Without you, this play is garbage, the director is garbage, the scriptwriter is garbage, and I am also garbage! Alright, do you understand what I've said?"

  Big Bird Lucci and Natasha nodded.

  Yi Feiyang fainted.

  This will also work!