Jasohe s again.

  Would you like to loot [Potent Hamster]?“Yes?”

  The body of the dead creature made a fizzing sound, like a rapid chemical rea. The body started rapidly melting, first the flesh, thehe skeleton, dissolving into rainbow-coloured smoke. It seemed pretty until it hit Jason with a stench thick as cheese, like burned hair and rotti. He scrambled away to escape the rancid smell, dry heaving on all fours. Looking over as he hacked out coughs, he saw the creature’s body had vanished, as if never existing at all. He ighe windoopped up, dropping onto his ba the soft grass.

  “I hate this,” he told the sky. “I’m naked, bleeding, and have no idea where I am. I ’t think of aer expnation for what’s happening than I’ve lost my bloody mind. Worst of all, I’m going to get sunburnt ihat don’t see a lot of outdoor activity.”

  He sat up with a groan, reading the s waiting for him.

  [Monster Core (Lesser)] has been added to your iory.[Healing U (Iron)] has been added to your iory.10 [Lesser Spirit s] have been added to your iory.“Oh, straight into the iory. That pce that lets me make things appear and disappear. I’ve definitely gone insane.”

  Now familiar with opening and closing the ss, the iory windoeared with a simple thought. Two more of the frids were now occupied with little is, while peared to be a currency ter had the en listed over one of the symbols.

  Jason took out the item called healing u. It was a small, round tin, reminding Jason of the nasty rubbing medie his nanna would put on scrapes when he was a kid. At least this tin wasn’t rusty, like the ohat had been under Nanna’s undry sink lohan Jason had been alive. Nanna was his maternal grandmother, while his father’s mother was strictly Grandmother. She was a retired otorhinologist, and had no truck with rusty tins of oi.

  He took a closer look at the tin in his hand.

  Item: [Healing U (Iron)] (iron rank, on)

  Topical healing oi. Inexpensive co ideal for superficial injuries (able, healing).

  Effect: Apply directly to injuries to heal. Effect reduced on bronze-rank her individuals.Uses remaining: 5/5.Uhe tablet, the magic ss had no problem identifying the tin. Jason pulled off the lid to discover it really did look and smell like the oi under Nanna’s undry sink. There was a sharp, medical smell that cut through even the lingering stench of the dead creature. As for the tents, it was an oily substahat looked like butterscotch sauce made from dubiously-sourced ingredients.

  “How did I get oi from a hamster? How did it e in a tin?”

  With an exploratory finger he gently prodded the wound on his head.

  “Ow.”

  The oversized hamster teeth had dug into his scalp. The blood was still running down the front and side of his head.

  “’t hurt to try, I guess. At least there’s no hair to get in the way.”

  He took some of the oi and smeared it carefully onto the wound, which immediately started to sting.

  You have used [Healing U (iron)].Uses remaining: 4/5.The stinging faded away rapidly, the pain from the wound itself quickly following. Jason delicately poked the affected area, but while it was still wet with blood and oi, he could find no trace of the injury.

  “Sure,” he said. “If yoing to have medie appear out of thin air, why not make it magically potent.”

  Jasohe tin ba his iory and pulled out the other i. peared in his hand was a small, red-brown gem, in the shape of a teardrop.

  Item: [Monster Core (Lesser)] (iron rank, on)

  The magic core of a lesser monster (crafting material, magic core).

  Effect: on po for ritual magid magic item creation.“Oh, it’s fic rituals. I’m apparently in a video game, now, so of course magic is a thing.”

  Jason sighed as he put the monster core ba his iory.

  “Maybe I’ve had an aneurysm and this is just my dying brain trying to sort things out as it shuts down.”

  He thought about that for a moment. His sister would be the oo find his body. She’d have her little girl in tow, ing to see Uncle Jason.

  “Wow. I’m actually hoping this whole, horrible experience is real. That’s the way, Jason. Indulge the delusion.”

  Jason looked at the ter in his iory.

  “How do I take that out?”

  He tried tapping on the number.

  You have 10 [Lesser Spirit s]. How many would you like to withdraw?“Um. One, I guess.”

  A appeared in Jason’s hand. It was a washed-out blue colour, with a metallic sheen but feeling more like gss to the touch.

  Item: [Lesser Spirit ] (iron rank, on)

  An impure distiltion of raw magic. (currency, crafting material).

  Effect: Used to fuel lesser-rank magic items or as a ritual po.Jason peered at the figure embossed on the . Looking closer, it was an image of Jason himself, giving a thumbs up.

  “What?”

  He turhe over to look at the other side, which was engraved with text.

  PRODUCT OF JAS’DAY, MATE!

  He ran a hand over his face. Somehow the itself was more ridiculous than the fact that he pulled it out of thin air.

  “I’ve definitely gone insane.”

  ***

  When the slippery creature tched its teeth onto his ihigh, Jason yelled as much out of panic as paiill had no pants and that was much too close to the danger zone. He grabbed the long, slippery body, gripping down hard and yanking it off his leg. He screamed again as it took a k of thigh with it but kept his grip and started filing the creature into the prickly hedge.

  You have defeated [Flying Eel].Defeat lesser monsters 9/10.Jason dropped to the ground, pulled out a jar of healing u and started rubbing it on the wound, ighe blood ing out of it.

  “Why an eel fly?”

  He looked down at the wound, high up the inside of his thigh. The eel had taken a det gouge out of him, so the stinging lingered as the wound slowly closed. Even so, the ability to wat injury vanish in front of his eyes was amazing. After nine enters with different creatures, Jason had plenty of ces to see it, going through almost three full tins of the u. He used a full tin from one fight alone, against something called a malicious hedgehog.

  One pleasant discovery was that he didn’t have to stand iinking smoke that came off them after they were looted. So long as he touched the creature he could back away before accepting. Even as he was far away from the dissolving creature, the loot went straight into his iory. The only problem was that any of the creature’s blood that got onto him would dissolve away as well, giving Jason a full dose of the stink.

  Every creature Jason looted gave out one lesser monster core aly 10 spirit s. Most also produced additional, often nonsensical rewards. Tins of healing oi were mercifully on, but mostly he received animal parts. That would have been uandable enough, given that he was killing creatures, but they arrived in his iory already cut and packaged. The bundle of spines he received from the malicious hedgehog were bound with string, while the meat of the tyrannical pheasant came ly ed in deli paper. The animal parts were all listed as crafting materials, some of which seemed to be for cooking. While he did enj new food, he wasn’t quite ready to put monster meat on his pte.

  While he waited for the wound to heal, he checked the map again. He had a det-sized k of the hedge maze mapped out now, but it was quite rge and he’d met a lot of dead ends. He plotted out his pathway a out again.

  ***

  There was a flrowing in the middle of the pathway. Everywhere else Jason had been, there was only uniform hedges aly-cut grass. He watched it from a safe distance, but to all observation it was just a pnt. Jason moved forward cautiously, eyes glued to the flower. He gave it as wide a berth as he could, but just whehought he had passed without i, the flower twitched, spraying spores all over him.

  He got dizzy ao the ground, the something on his leg. A vih a bulbous head had grown out of the grouhe flower stem, and was now winding its way around his leg. He tried to kick away, but his head was swimming and he filed iually. The vi growing, crawling up his body. The bulbous head of the vine opened up, g onto his head like a mprey.

  Jason ched his teeth, fighting through the haze with anger. He reached down, grabbed the vih both hands and started hauling on it. The ground uhe flower bulged, soil spilling away as a grotesque shape emerged from the earth. It looked like a root vegetable, but was the size and shape of a baby. The vine was attached to it’s stomach like an umbilical cord, while the flrew out of its head. Jaso go of the vine, crawling over to the main body and grabbing it in both hands. He lifted it up, then brought it down on his knee, smashing it again and again.

  “People. Are. Vegetarians,” he yelled through gritted teeth. Every word punctuating a strike to the knee. “Vegetables. Aren’t. People-tarians!”

  With a final shout he brought the creature down on his kh all his strength. The pnt monster broke apart like a potato dropped off a building and hitting crete.

  You have defeated [ivorous Mandrake].

  Quest: [No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service]

  Bonus objective plete: Defeat ten lesser monsters 10/10.[Simple Footwear] has been added to your iory.Primary quest objective still avaible.Taking the footwear out of his iory he discovered it air of sandals. Although the thick grass leasant underfoot, Jason still put them on. That left him standing naked except of a pair of sandals.

  “I think I might hate this pce.”