Word Count: 2592

  Novembris 29

  'Your suitor will be Leonard Montgomery.'

  No matter how many times I transted it over the past month it always came out to the same message. Every morning and every night, I hoped and prayed for Mother to write to me saying that it was a mistake or that the marriage deal had fallen through, but no such correspondence came.

  My betrothal was set in stone.

  By the end of the school-year, I would be set to marry Leonard and I would live out the rest of my days with him as my husband. And as if he could sense it, Leonard seemed to match my intensity of my despair with his lust for knowledge for the features of his future bride.

  My eyes open and adjust to the early morning darkness. The bliss of being in a faraway dream is repced instantly with the dreary smoke of reality.

  'Maybe I was bad in a past life and the universe is punishing me,' I whisper in my head.

  Sitting up in bed, I stare at crumpled pages on my nightstand. They're composed of homework that's finished but unorganized. I wait for my mind to wake up as I observe each crease in the papers.

  'Another day of dodging Leonard,' a thought finally comes.

  With a quiet groan, I stretch my back and swing my body to the floor to start walking over to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I spsh water on my face then take off my pajama shirt to tighten my binder.

  'And another day of praying that Lucas falls sick like he did st week. I finally got four days of peace. Well... as nice as peace could get with Leonard hounding me every day.'

  It isn't as if I hate Leonard since this marriage will save Father's wealth and lineage. That's all that I'm here for, after all.

  I look up at the mirror through the steam of the running water. I touch my cheeks and trail my fingers up to my eyes looking for something that I felt was there but just hidden below the surface of my skin. Yet, I find nothing.

  'But I just can't imagine him being satisfied with me as his wife.'

  It seems that he doesn't like me very much as Damien, so I doubt that he will like me any differently as Camille. If I disappoint him, which I most likely will since I don't have a 'rack rger than two prize-winning watermelons,' I doubt he'll want anything to do with me. It's easier to live in a house that tolerates your existence than to live in one that resents you.

  As I reflect on the past few days in this moment of precious solitude, I suddenly hear knocking on the door. Peeking out of the bathroom door I look at the knob twisting from the other side. It's probably Lucas ready to take me to the locker room for another bout of "exploration," especially after losing days from him being sick.

  Slipping on my loafers with my finger, I gingerly open the door ready to see his early morning smile.

  But as light filters in from the hallway window, I see that it's not Lucas that stands outside.

  "Damien!! Your sister's thighs! On a scale of pencil to tree-trunk, how fat are they?"

  'Ah, and here comes my headache.'

  "You're early," I mumble, wiping the sleepiness from my eyes. "Too early."

  He retorts in a low voice, "Come on brother, I just need a few sentences. Just for my imagination. Don't be so stiff."

  I stare at him in annoyance thinking of what to say when I hear the sound of Lucas' loafers coming down the hall. I push past Leonard's figure and share a gnce with my raven-haired friend. With a quick nod, Lucas hides behind the hallways corner to avoid coming into Leonard's view.

  But before slipping away to meet Lucas, I turn back to the redhead and rest a hand on his arm.

  "Try again tomorrow," I reply. "Or don't. I'd really rather you didn't."

  He scoffs, twisting his bicep away from me in disgust and I turn and walk out the door.

  Leonard is the only man I have no problem being cheeky towards since I feel like Damien would do the same, but that is an attitude that will be swiftly dropped once this costume is off and we're wed. Even saying those words to him makes my arms feel prickly as if I've done a terrible wrong.

  Lucas pces a hand on my head and smiles once I reach him.

  I try to smile back.

  Leonard grumbles to himself watching Camille leave before he closes the door and slumps down the frame in aggravation.

  Sebastian looks up from his pillow with sleepy eyes, "Are you just going to stay here, then?"

  "What? You have a problem with that? Do you want your face in a toilet like your friend?"

  Finn rolls uncomfortably in his sleep as if Leonard's words permeated his dreamstate.

  "Forget I said anything," Sebastian mutters, sinking back into his sheets.

  Leonard wipes his face in exasperation before pausing, hands jolting up like lightning.

  "Wait, blondie," he booms.

  Sebastian looks back up slightly irked, 'Can't he speak in a volume that's lower than a hundred decibels?'

  Leonard walks over to him and takes a seat on his bed.

  The railing of the bunk bed is too short and keeps him from fully sitting under, so Sebastian begrudgingly sits up to listen.

  "I don't get that pipsqueak. He won't tell me squat about his sister and I have no idea why. It's not like my questions are hard to answer!"

  Sebastian mulls it over before speaking, "I mean, asking, 'How thick are her thighs! Are they pencil-size or as thick as an elephant's trunk!' is not something a guy would want to answer about his sister."

  "It was tree trunk."

  "Okay, excuse me for being bold, but the metaphors that you're using are not the issue."

  "Argh! So what should I do? You seem like you would know something about Damien. You're both like... really nerdy."

  Ignoring his st sentence, Sebastian's eyes hesitantly flickers to his hands and twists his fingers as if he has something that he wants to admit.

  The redhead grimaces as he watches.

  "I... don't know," Sebastian finally mumbles, half-heartedly.

  Leonard stands up with a groan.

  "I can't believe I just wasted my time. Of course you wouldn't know. You know what, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. He'll break eventually."

  "You'd be surprised what 'he' could take," Sebastian mutters under his breath as the tall man leaves the room.

  I walk back to the dorm from the courtyard as residual yawns still escape from my lips. Now that my time at the lockers is done, I have to get my books and bag, go through another school day, fall asleep, and repeat it all again. Every single day until the end of the school year.

  I let out an audible sigh.

  Just thinking about it makes my heart feel weary. But finally, I'll be able to bring honor to Father by marrying Leonard. Everything's on track. That's all this was ever about.

  I slip past the hallways passing other chattering boys.

  So why do I feel so much emptier today than I did when I first came here? Is it Lucas' personality which I feel as if I pervert with my very presence. Or maybe it's Leonard's questions that make me ever more certain that every day spent with him in our new home would be torture for us both? Or is it something else?

  Something I haven't felt since those long-gone days under Father's discipline.

  'Hm... Oh, yes... I think I understand now.'

  I open the door to my dorm room.

  Even then. Back when all the stories I had of the outside world came out of Father and Damien's mouths while Mother and I sat huddled in a hardwood corner, I had something. But it's been wringed further away from me with each passing day.

  'Yes... at least I wasn't-'

  My thoughts are interrupted by a tap on my shoulder and I turn towards the person in surprise. It's Sebastian, the boy who had made it his mission to say as few words to me as possible since our very first conversation.

  "Let's talk," he says, wasting no time for pleasantries.

  "...Okay," I answer.

  We both take a seat on his bed. Finn is already gone, most likely serving early morning detention for enacting another prank on Principal Ambrose. He seems to be a magnet for trouble with no regard for how other people take him. I wonder how many trips to our bathroom he can take before learning not to call Leonard a meathead to his face.

  I look at Sebastian as I put my hands on my p respectfully waiting to be spoken to before I speak. After all, the only people I have to be formal towards are Sebastian and Lucas since only they know my identity.

  He rolls his eyes at my stiff posture.

  "I'll make this quick."

  I nod.

  But even after making that preface, he gnces at me warily before speaking, "Can I tell Leonard that you're a..."

  His words falter as his eyes catch my expression. I didn't realize my face could give so much away, but in this moment, the fear coursing through me is unmistakable; cold sweat breaks out across my skin the instant I grasp what Sebastian is asking. I look down at my hands and find that they're gripping my uniform pants.

  He notices and quickly adds, "I just think that Leonard knowing about it would deter him from harassing us so often! If he accidently blew your cover with his visits, the fallout would look bad on his family. He might just leave you alone."

  And even though the words sound like they belong to a child, I can't help myself from whispering, "...But you promised."

  He groans, "I'm trying to help! We all have to deal with him, you know?"

  My lungs feel tight.

  "I... know what I promised. But I think this is best. If you want... I can give you the book back?" he says, looking towards his side of the bed where the book I lent him ys on his nightstand.

  I don't respond.

  "Camill-" he starts again.

  "I can't stop you anyway... do as you wish," I croak out.

  I stand up without another word, grab my bag, and walk out of the room to start going to homeroom.

  As I leave, I see him bite his thumb as his jade eyes flicker from side-to-side with indecision.

  Halfway through the day, Sebastian passively watches Finn with a gentle smile as his silver-haired friend talks about his riveting detention stories ripe with hijinks involving the correction officer.

  But as a familiar shadow passes his table, he looks up to see Leonard walking to his crew at the back of the cafeteria room.

  "I was sure he was going to start crying or something! Anyway, we've got to go out to Caelum City this weekend. I know a guy who sells firecrackers on Dandelion Stree... ugh. Hey are you listening, Sebastian?" Finn sighs, prodding his friend's cheek.

  "Give me a sec, Finn," Sebastian waves absently, getting up and heading toward Leonard without a backward gnce.

  Faced with the faux redhead and his gang of friends, Sebastian pauses as he questions his decision. But even so, he clears his throat and says the words anyway.

  "Hey, let's talk," Sebastian mutters, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets.

  It's like a million eyes swivel toward him at once and before he can help it, his heart races in protest.

  "You know him?" a boy behind Leonard snickers.

  "No. I don't know any blonde twits." Leonard retorts, bending down to rub his finger into Sebastian's forehead. "Do you have something to say, shortstack?"

  Sebastian's eyebrows furrow in aggravation before he looks off to the side.

  Turning around, he mentions indifferently, "Nevermind, I guess. I had something big to tell you about your fiance, but it never really mattered it seems."

  Leonard suddenly stops and his gang watches the conversation with curious grins.

  "And what would that be?" he replies, taking care to keep his tone steady so he doesn't appear desperate and lose face in front of his friends.

  "I can't tell you here," Sebastian replies, gesturing to the crowd.

  Drawing in a calming breath, he turns away without waiting for Leonard's response and walks off toward the cafeteria doors.

  A boy snickers, "Well aren't you gonna follow him, lover boy?"

  Punching his friend and with a loud grumble of reluctance, Leonard walks up behind Sebastian and they both step out of the lunchroom towards the school basement.

  Walking down the grimey stairwell, they find themselves descending deeper into one of the most secluded pces in the academy. When they finally reach the bottom, a yer of dust coats the top of their shoes. Leonard turns to face the blonde, dauntingly towering above him.

  "What was that dispy? Who do you think you are, shortstack?"

  Sebastian retorts instinctively, "5'8 is a normal height, you're just freakishly tall."

  Leonard rolls up his sleeves, "Ah, so you do want that swirlie?"

  "...I apologize," Sebastian immediately backs down.

  The redhead rubs his temples with growing impatience, "So what's this all about?"

  "Damien," Sebastian mutters.

  "What about him?"

  "..." Sebastian gnces at the floor in hesitance.

  "Spit it out! I don't have all day!" Leonard yells, crossing his arm with a scowl.

  "Damien is a girl."

  They both stare at each other in silence for a moment.

  Finally, Leonard finds words to say, "Are you smoking? He has short hair!"

  Sebastian sighs in annoyance, "Girls can cut their hair short, Leonard. Especially since it seems like she's doing something illegal here, I doubt she'd keep it long. If you don't want to believe me then that's fine, but Damien D'Alembert or rather Camille D'Alembert is your bride. So now that you know what she looks like, stop coming to our dorm room. Stop harassing Camille. Stop terrorizing Finn with swirlies. And stop annoying me."

  Leonard's eyes dart to the ceiling as realization starts to bloom on his face, "Damien... is Camille D'Alembert?"

  Sebastian cringes hearing him speak it without any change in volume, "That's what I said. But don't go spreading it around. I don't know why she's slinking around here but things could get bad for all of us if the head board found out that we didn't say something immediately."

  Leonard growls, "I'm not stupid, of course I won't tell anybody. It would shame my family if they knew my fiancé was cross-dressing and breaking ws. Even if that is kind of impressive. Hm, so that's why she didn't answer my questions..."

  Sebastian shifts uncomfortably on his feet, "Okay, yeah well... that's it. That's what I had to say. We've been down here long enough so let's get moving before anyone starts asking questions."

  He takes a step toward the stairs, but Leonard's low, amused chuckle stops him cold.

  "Oh, we're not done yet, you blonde pipsqueak."

  Sebastian freezes as he feels Leonard's hand firmly cmp down on his shoulder.

  "What was it you said... 'Stop annoying me,' or something like that. Who said you could speak to me so matter-of-factly?"

  And just like that his heart pounds harder than ever.