“Don’t slouch!”

  “I’m not sloug!”

  “And straighten your apron. It’s crooked.”

  “Will you stop? You’re worse than my grandma!”

  The mert crab tapped impatiently on the wooden floorboards while the baker girl adjusted the frills of the white apron around her waist.

  “Shouldn’t he be here by now?” Balthazar asked. “Maybe he’s not ing at all. Maybe he just fot about me and we’re all good.”

  “He will show up, Balthazar,” Madeleine said. “Taxmen don’t just fet like that, I promise you.”

  “I told you,” said Rye from behind them. “I saw him leave his office early in the m before I headed down here. He’s doing his rounds. He’ll get here, eventually.”

  The young adventurer sat on a wide wooden bench, one foot up on the seat, casually biting on an apple.

  Madeleiood o Balthazar, who was sitting on his purple cushion, propped up on a crate in order to reach the improvised baable, which was made of two regur wooden sbs put together with a rge tablecloth c them.

  Behind him stood Bouldy, motionless and waiting. To his right, another cushion lied on the floor, this one red, and taining a sleeping blue drake.

  “Are you sure you didn’t fet anything?” the anxious crab asked.

  “I was already sure when you asked me that five minutes ago. Everything you asked for is here,” Madeleine said, gesturing towards a smaller table behind them with several boxes and baskets on it.

  “If you’d seen what I’ve seen, you would uand,” said Balthazar. “His mere aura of taxation is overwhelming. I ot afford to make any mistakes in this fight.”

  “I think you’re exaggerating a bit, Balthazar. It’s just an old man,” the skeptical baker said.

  “Yes, mate, calm down,” the smiling archer added. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re about to fight a demon lord or something.”

  “He might as well be one! Do you guys think taxes are a joke? He wants to take my precious gold!”

  The two humans exged g each other, with slight eye rolls, and did their best not to smile too much at the crab’s perils.

  “Boss, boss!” a running goblin shouted as he came running from the road. “Old man ing down now!”

  “Good job, Druma,” Balthazar said. “Now stand where I told you and make sure you keep your hat on. Everyone else too, get in position and remember the pn.”

  A gust of wind blew past the trading post as a group of clouds passed in front of the sun, blog its light for a moment.

  The terrifying figure appeared from the road with his two guards trailing him close behind.

  Wearing his official green gown and hat, the small and frail old man gazed at the se in front of him from behind his tiny gsses, precariously held by the tip of his nose, baggy cheeks jiggling softly as his head turned from side to side.

  “Greetings, Mr. Abernathy!” Balthazar enthusiastically said.

  “Good day, Mr. Balthazar,” the taxman said, still looking around at the unventional are in front of him. “Is this a bad time? Were you preparing to have a baoday? I see you also have guests.”

  “Not at all, not at all!” Balthazar assured him, while standing up and pulling back a chair at the top of the table. “I was actually waiting for your arrival. But please, the way down here uhis sun must have been taxing on you. Have a seat.”

  The old man raised his eyebrows in sideration.

  “Well, it is a retively hot day. I wouldn’t miing for a moment before we proceed. My knees are not what they used to be.”

  The man sat down as his two guards stood back, spears up, eyes front.

  The stage was set. He had taken the bait.

  “Good, good. We talk better this way,” the crab said as he moved back to his cushion. “And it will be eveer if we discuss the matters at hand over some delicacies. I hope you don’t mind, but I am famished, and it would be entirely rude on my part not to offer.”

  “Well, I supposed there is no harm,” Abernathy ceded. “And it would be rude on my part to turn it down as well.”

  “Excellent! Then—”

  “Excuse me! Excuse me! I hope I’m not te!”

  Antoine had just arrived from the road, visibly out of breath, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

  “Mr. Antoine,” Abernathy said, “what are you doing here? I don’t believe I requested your presence for this official business.”

  “Oh, I know, Mr. Abernathy,” the still panting mert said, while retrieving a white handkerchief from his pocket and wiping his brow. “But I wouldn’t miss this for the world. And as the master of the Merts Guild of Ardville, I believe it is in our best io see this prickly matter resolved ond for all. This… individual has been impag ood town’s business for far too long, and as their representative, I am here to witness justice finally being served.”

  “This seems highly—” the taxman started.

  “It’s fine, Mr. Abernathy,” Balthazar said, raising an appeasing pincer. “I actually don’t mind Mr. Antoine being here at all. It’s good that he bears witness, so there’s no pining ter.”

  Antoine gave the crab a frown of suspi.

  “Well, if you have nothing against it,” said the older man, “I suppose there is no reason for me to pce objes, either. Let us carry on?”

  “Yes, of course.” Balthazar turned his eyes to Antoine again. “Ah, I’m afraid we did not have ara seat prepared for any unannounced guests.” He gave the town mert the si of smiles.

  “That’s fine by me,” said the standing man, adjusting his feathered hat before crossing his arms. “I don’t pn on staying long, anyway. I have much busio take care of ba town. Just want to see this matter sorted quickly.”

  “Well, we were just about to have a little brunch here, uhis beautiful weather, while we discuss matters,” the golden mert said, his smile turning sly, “but I’m sure you’d also not be ied in partaking on any of that, would you?”

  “Absolutely not,” the other said. “I have no i in breaking bread with lowlifes.”

  “Suit yourself. But bread is not quite what we have on the menu today.” Balthazar turned back to Abernathy. “First, allow me to introduce to you the one responsible for the baked goods I purchase. This is Madeleine. And allow me to point out that she is a baker from your town, and that the purchases I make from her are all mohat goes bato circution at your market.”

  Madeleine made a slight bow at the tax ior, her cheeks looking slightly rosier than usual, her eyes fixed on the floor.

  “Oh, you make business with Mr. Balthazar here? Very iing,” Abernathy said.

  “I’ve seen you before, have I not?” Antoine said to Madeleine, his tiny eyes squinting at her. “At the market?”

  The baker kept her gaze on the floorboards and did not say a word.

  “And this,” the crab tinued, pointing a pio the archer sitting on a bench a few paces away from the table, “is Rye, a member of the Adventurers Guild. Seeing as they are my main source of ers, they have a vested i in the events that might transpire here today, so he shall serve as an impartial observer.”

  Rye gave the group a wave and a shy smile.

  Antoine opened his mouth to speak, but an irked gre from the taxman put a stop to his intervention.

  “A pleasure to meet one of our natioeemed and brave adventurers, Mr. Rye,” Abernathy said, giving the young man a nod.

  “As for the other inhabitants of my pond, I believe you both still remember the golem behihey both gnervously at the immobile rock giant behind the crab. “And this here is Druma, my loyal assistant, whom I believe Mr. Antoine has met, but you have not, Mr. Abernathy.”

  The goblin stepped forward from behind Bouldy and gave the guests an awkward bow of his head, his hat nearly falling from his head.

  “A goblin? As an assistant? Very irregur,” the ior said, eyeing the goblin with curiosity.

  “That right there!” Antoine blurted out. “That menag creature threatened my life the first time I came here to verse with the crab. You ot allow a dangerous creature such as a goblin roaming freely in Ardville territory. Do your duty, seize it!”

  The irate mert turo the two guardsmen, who looked at each other, the goblin, and theaxman.

  “Please trol yourself, Mr. Antoine,” Abernathy calmly said. “The guardsmen of Ardville are not your private formand. And while I admit a goblin is a very dubious choiployee, these are very odd circumstao begin with, and given the small creature’s behavior, I don’t believe him to be an immediate threat. I’d like to at least allow Mr. Balthazar to make his case first, before passing any judgment.”

  With his pencil mustache twitg, the other mert huffed loudly and crossed his arms again.

  The ior looked past Balthazar and adjusted his gsses as he squinted.

  “Excuse my nearsightedness, but is there not something breathio you, Mr. Balthazar?”

  “Ah, yes, I was getting to that,” the crab said. “This here is Blue, my pet drake. Don’t worry, she’s very well trained and well behaved.”

  Balthazar hoped to everything that the feast of birds he had Rye shoot down for the drake that m would keep her sleeping through the whole meeting, as he did not want to find out what would happen otherwise.

  All four men oher side of the table leaned forward to look at the pillow o the crab, curious to see the slumbering creature. She rested with her long body coiled around itself, wings folded, small puffs of steam released with each exhale.

  Antoine’s jaw dropped. Not a word ing out of him.

  “A real, living drake?!” a surprised Abernathy questioned, his backside raised from his chair as he leaned even further. “I had read stories of kings and noblemen who owned such creatures, but never in all my years did I get to see one in person.”

  The showing off phase had gone perfectly. Intimidation had been achieved. It was time to take the step.

  “Ah, yes, indeed, rare and fasating creatures,” Balthazar said. “But also very temperamental and fond of their sleep. Best we do not disturb it much.”

  He snapped his silver cw at the baker.

  “I don’t like to discuss business on ay stomach, so allow me to present you with a small… snack.”

  Madeleine approached the table with a pte of pie.

  “I was not sure of your preference, so I took the liberty of pr a variety of pies for our enjoyment. Feel free to take your pick, or a little of each.”

  The girl carefully pced the pte oable, between the crab and the taxman.

  “First, a cssic that you ever g with,” the crab announced.

  “Apple pie. Simple, but delicious. Does not require much more introdu.”

  Abernathy pulled his gsses further up the bridge of his nose for ond marveled at the perfectly caramelized slices of apple ly arrayed over the pie’s surface.

  “,” Balthazar tinued, as Madeleirieved ae and brought it to the table, “a pie I only retly discovered myself, but already fell in love with. Pe pie.”

  The ior snapped his gaze from the first pie to the sed, eyes widening at the sight of the dark, oasted peuts encrusting the soft surface of the pie.

  “Even though I wasn’t a big fan of nuts before,” the smiling crusta tinued, “this one won me over. I couldn’t vince our baker here to reveal her secret, but something in it adds a fruity and spicy fvor that is just… hmm!”

  The crab pihe air, while the taxman seemed to have a hard time trolling his heavy breathing.

  “But if her of those do it for you,” Balthazar said, “Madeleine also suggested a house special.” The baker brought yet ae onto the table, two slices already cut, revealing a glistening and moist red filling.

  “Rhubarb and strawberry pie. An ued bination to me, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Hopefully, you will give it a d share my opinion.”

  The old man seemed on the verge of drooling, his eyes uo pick between looking through or over the le eae of the pies in front of him.

  “And, of course, just in case pies do not do it for you today, we also have a colle of tarts, ses, cookies, and oodies that you try.”

  Madeleine quickly moved bad forth, bringing pte after pte onto the table, until nearly every open space was taken by some form of pastry.

  Abernathy was pletely lost for words as he looked over the ba of baked goods id out in front of his eyes, his wife’s health s certainly far goo the back of his mind.

  “This is uable!” a furious Antoine yelled out. “This is a shameless and btant attempt at swaying you! At buying yoodwill. At… at… bribing you!”

  Abernathy’s half open mouth suddenly closed. His eyes broke out of their trance, auro the guildmaster.

  “Mr. Antoine,” he began, in a anding and stern voice, “I have faithfully served the for five decades, did my duty for lohan you’ve been alive, and never once had so much as a siain on my reputation. If you wish to question my ability to do my job fairly simply because someone offers me…” He briefly g the pies in front of him and swallowed before tinuing. “...appetizers, then I suggest we take this matter up to the mayor himself, where we discuss it openly, my honor and wainst yours.”

  Antoine’s mustache sagged slightly as he gulped, his neck stretg to adjust the colr around it.

  “I… I didn’t mean to question your professionalism, it’s just that this is… this is highly irregur, you must admit, and I thought it should be brought up because…”

  “I find myself still perfectly capable of thinking with my own head aermine when a situation is inappropriate or not under our ws, Antoine. I’d suggest you do not interfere with our meeting any further, or I will be forced tet your status and have these two guards remove you from our viity. Are we clear?”

  “Y-yes, very clear. I uand,” the mert said, tugging on the colr of his shirt with a finger.

  “Now, where were we, Mr. Balthazar?” Abernathy said, turning back to the feast in front of him.

  This was the moment. Balthazar's oppo had been successfully dazed and put uhe effects of his stroeique: pastries. It was time to strike.

  “I believe we were about to talk business over some pie.”

  Balthazar smiled as he sigo Druma, whht him a small pile of books and a rge folded map.

  H0st