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Chapter 50: Draconic Tutor

  Balthazar gave the wizard a good, long look.

  He had a sy figure, ae still seeming quite spry, he was clearly old. Very old. The long beard that reached down to his knees and his mismatg eye sizes only added to the deranged look, and his attire was not helpiher. Big wizard hat that crumpled in the middle from he it was, old brown shoes with silly curling tips, and a purple robe that seemed two or three sizes te for the old man.

  If the monocle hadn’t shown it, Balthazar would have never guessed that the man was the highest level advehe crab had ever entered.

  But sidering the average adventurer he met every day, perhaps that was actually fitting. That they all bee demented loons would only make sense.

  “Tut?” the disbelieving crab said. “On drakes? What makes you such a specialist iter?”

  “What?! You don’t believe me?” the wizard said. “I’ll have you know that I’ve done a lot on riding ba the day.” The old man stared longingly at the sky for a moment before tinuing. “And by ba the day, I mean st week. You should have seen that beast. She was the size of a house, that beauty!”

  Balthazar made a face of disfort at the wizard’s excitement.

  “I’m not ied in riding anything, old man. I just want to be able to t on this one when I need her.”

  “Fine, fine. Suit yourself,” the old adventurer said. “A giant crab would probably look ridiculous riding on a drake’s back, anyway.”

  “If you know so much about dragons and drakes,” said Balthazar, “then go on, tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

  The wizard started stroking his beard thoughtfully.

  “Have you tried going with the basics? Maybe formally introduce yourself?”

  “What?!” the incredulous crab responded. “She already knows who I am. She’s been living here since she was born! What does she need me to introduce myself for?”

  “Hah! Ya silly crab,” the man ughed. “Draic creatures like their formalities. It shows reverend respect. Here, I’ll show you. What was her name?”

  “Blue,” the crab said, stepping aside to let the wizard stand in front of the drake.

  “Hello, Blue,” the old man said, while taking a bow that made his beard drag on the ground. “I am Tweedus, a high wizard of are magic. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

  The gilded drake observed the old man’s greeting with curiosity befiving a gentle nod.

  “Ya see?” Tweedus said, standing back straight and stepping away from the drake. “Just like that. Now you try it!”

  With some hesitation, Balthazar stepped forward in front of Blue.

  “I don’t know about all this,” the crab said, looking back at the wizard.

  “Go on,” the other whispered, leaning forward and shooing him away with his hands. “Try taking a bow and telling her who you are.”

  The crab looked down at himself.

  “I don’t have a waist!” Balthazar muttered back at him. “How the hell am I supposed to take a bow?”

  The wizard stood back straight and scratched the tip of his white mustache.

  “Well, fiddlesticks. I hadn’t sidered that part. I don’t know! Just try leaning forward, or something! I’m sure the iion is what matters to her.”

  “So much for being a specialist,” the annoyed crab said under his breath.

  Balthazar put one pincer in front of himself, while stretg the other owards and leaning his shell forward.

  He felt like he was looking ridiculous.

  And for everyone present, he very much was.

  “Uh, hello, Blue,” the crab awkwardly started while staring at the ground. “I am Balthazar, giant crab and… uh… mert of things. o meet you… I guess?”

  He stood back up and looked at the drake, who was staring at him with her mouth ajar, a mix of fusion and embarrassment in her expression. She gave him a quiod that felt more like a plea to just end that iion as quickly as possible, which the crab was happy to oblige.

  Turning back to Tweedus, he saw the wizard grinning and giving him two overly enthusiastic thumbs ups.

  “Ya got the spirit of it right, crab!” the old man yelled.

  “I’m never doing that again,” Balthazar said, with a cold voice.

  “Pfft! Quit your bellyag! She didn’t bite your pincers off. Ba my days at the are academy, that was sidered a big win wheing any kind on.” He shook his head with an expression of longing on his face. “Poor Jeremiah. He loved to py his lute so much.”

  “Right, but what now, old man?” the impatient crab asked. “How is this getting me any closer to being able to give her ands?”

  “Bah! There you go again with the ands. She’s not a pet, aainly not your servaher, crab! You must treat her as an equal. A partner. A friend, even.”

  “A friend?” Balthazar repeated. “I’m not so sure she’s too keen on being my friend. You know what was one of the first things she did when she was born? She tried to shoot fire at me! And you know what she did when she saw me about to be viciously mauled by a pack of wolves? Turned around to go back to sleep!”

  “HAH! She sounds like my sister!”

  Tweedus let out a hearty ugh as he threw his head bad spped his knee.

  “It’s not funny! She’s a heartless creature!”

  “So is my sister! Haaaah!”

  The unamused crab was staring daggers at the wizard, but the other was too busy chortling at his own joke to notice.

  “You’re being no help at all,” said the crab.

  “Oh, have a little fun, will ya? I’m the old man here, and you’re the one who’s all tankerous for no reason,” Tweedus said, as he wiped the er of his eye with his finger. “Try showing her you’re willing to be a friend. That’s all it takes to start. What’s something she loves?”

  “I don’t know,” Balthazar said, with a shrug of his shell. “She seems to really enjoy petting on the back of her head from our baker when she es by.”

  “Good! Go on and try that, then. We’re not getting any younger over here. Especially me!”

  “Really? That sounds like an awful idea.”

  “PET THE DRAKE, YA MUPPET!”

  “Alright! Alright!”

  With a gulp, Balthazar stepped closer to the drake again, who remained seated on her rock, the other two’s iions with curiosity.

  “H-hey, girl,” the hesitant crab said with a shaky voice as he g her sharp teeth. “Just going to give you some petting… alright?”

  “YA ’T SHOW FEAR!” Tweedus yelled out, both hands cupped around his mouth, despite being just a couple of paces behind the crab. “Drakes don’t respect cowardice. That’s how ya get s.”

  Balthazar exhaled in exasperation.

  As much as the old man was annoying him, he also knew him to be right.

  At least about the respect part.

  Most of everything else he said, not so much.

  Balthazar was no coward. Most of the time, at least. So why hesitate there? Blue would not take a meek little crab who shakes in his shell while trying to approach her seriously. He had been through a lot of things. He was a hardened crab by now, time to toughen up and show his worth to the petunt drake. Maybe it wasn’t his authority he should be trying to make her respect, but rather his bravery.

  Puffing up his shell, Balthazar reached out for the drake’s head with his pincer, full of fidence.

  Blue gred at him and bared her fangs.

  “Nope!”

  The crab ran back to the wizard’s side.

  “DOG GAMMIT, CRAB!” Tweedus yelled. “Get ba there and act like ya got a spine!”

  “I’m a crab, I don’t have a spine!” Balthazar yelled back.

  “I. Don’t. Care!” the wizard excimed, widening his crazy eyes at the crab. “Act like you got one, or else she’s never going to respect you.”

  “Why ’t she just… I don’t know, do it by default?!” the exasperated mert pined.

  “Because you clearly don’t respect her yourself, for starters.”

  Balthazar waue, but somethi poking at the back of his mind.

  Pesky sce.

  He knew she cared for Madeleine. She had even shown to care for Druma. ces are she even cared for Bouldy. It was he who was the exception. And he also knew why. He just didn’t want to admit it.

  She may not have been born a crab, but she was very crabby in her own way. And prideful. And stubborn. And hard to deal with.

  She was just like Balthazar.

  And he didn’t want to cede to that.

  But if he dug deep down within himself—very deep down—he also found that he roud that she took so much after himself.

  His problem was admitting to that.

  Balthazar let out a long sigh.

  If ret events had finally started teag him something, was that he o start valuing those around him more, because no crab is an isnd, even if they live on one.

  He stepped he drake once more.

  “Look, Blue,” Balthazar started, “I admit that I might, maybe, possibly, not have beeing you with the respect you deserve. I try to order you around without giving you any reason to respect me in the first pce.”

  The drake watched the crab with a raised brow.

  “I…” He rolled his eyes before tinuing. “I’m sorry I’m so hard shelled. So are you, but that’s no excuse not to try and do better, especially if I keep g I’m your elder. Having friends and being sociable… I was just a crab living all by himself not so long ago! I’m not used to these things, alright? I promise I’ll try to lead more by example, instead of just trying to boss you around, but you o help me out too. Think we do that and try again?”

  Blue raised her other brow as her rge goldeared down into his own. Balthazar wasn’t sure if she was trying to intimidate him or just judging him, but he was determio stand tall, and not blink at the challenge.

  Thankfully, being a crab with no eyelids made that part a lot easier.

  Letting out a soft growl, the drake responded with a slow nod.

  She may not have said it with words, but Balthazar uood she was willing to give him a ce.

  “Well done, crab!” Tweedus yelled out, g his hands together. “You’ve earhe respect of a draic creature and survived. Well, a little of it, at least. Or maybe just the willio earn it iure. But still! Better thaing turned into a grilled crab! Well spoken!”

  Balthazar gred at the wizard with an unamused expression.

  “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll make sure fungal growths in aces are the least of your problems.”

  “Hah!” the old man bred. “I like your spirit, crab! And I bet my sister would too!”

  For some reason, the crab very much hoped o meet the crazy wizard’s sister.

  “But ya make her fight?” Tweedus asked with a sly grin.

  “Uh… I don’t know?” Balthazar said. “It’s not like there’s any easy way to find out unless we were getting attacked.”

  “HAH! Say no more, crab!” the old man yelled out, pulling up his robe’s sleeves.

  “Wait, wait, wait! What are you do—”

  With a cp of his hands that produced a thundering sound, a swirl of blue light shot up from his palms and took form as a falade of translut blue light, fluttering above the wizard’s head.

  “The hell is that?!” the crab yelled out.

  “Don’t worry, it’s just a spirit animal summoned under my trol. Call it a bit of practice,” Tweedus expined, looking too amused for Balthazar’s taste.

  “It’s a damn bird!” he yelled at the wizard. “I hate birds! Get that thing out of my pond!”

  “Oh, is that so?” the other said, as he made the fal fly in a circle above by swirling his index finger. “Why don’t ya do something about it, then?”

  Balthazar kly what the wizard was doing, but that did not make him any less irritated about it.

  “Blue,” he said, turning back to the drake, who was following the summon above with her eyes. “You should shoot that thing down with some fire, don’t you think?”

  She gnced down at the crab, and then back at the flying bird. She did not seem too ied.

  “e on, girl,” Balthazar muttered under his breath, so Tweedus wouldn’t hear him. “You’re embarrassing me in front of the wizard!”

  She yawned.

  The crab realized he o try a different approach. If he was so smart as he liked to think he was, he should know to try and appeal to her is and pride instead.

  “That old man might not look it, but he’s higher level than you and I bined,” he quietly whispered to the drake, with one pincer c the side of his mouth while gng at the wizard. “And he’s mog us by making that stupid bird fly above our pond because he thinks we won’t be able to do anything about it.”

  Blue’s brow went up once again.

  “Are we going to let some high wizard ugh at us, in our territory of all pces, and with a bird?! Or are we going to do something about it?”

  The drake stood up on the rod shook her wings as she stared at the fal, no longer looking amused by it.

  “That’s right, girl!” Balthazar said. “You get up there and show we’re no pushovers!”

  With orong fp of her wings, Blue took off from the rod flew in front of the fal, who stopped and hovered in the air, looking at the drake aing out a screech.

  The drake s the bird, but her teeth found nothing to bite into. The fal wasn’t solid.

  “It’s probably some kind of are magic,” the crab yelled from below. “You gotta use your fire against it!”

  Blue looked down at the crab and then back up at the translut bird, tilting her head as if trying to figure something out.

  Bringing her head back, the drake opened her mouth a out a stream of blue fire at the fal, who burst out of existeh a loud popping sound.

  “Yes! That’s how you treat a bird, real or not!” the crab cheered, one pincer up in the air in celebration.

  Blue nded ba the rock, looking proud and smug.

  Balthazar approached her and patted her neck with his pincer. “Well done. You showed them!”

  Surprisingly, she did not seem bothered by his approach that time.

  They might still have a long road to go, but Balthazar had at least learhat if nothing else works t them closer, at least spite and a shared dislike for birds would still get the job done.

  “Very good, very good!” Tweedus said, g and giving them a wide grin. “You got her to work with you. Sort of. It’s a start. She even used her fire-breathing on and! You know how hard it is to get a drake to do that? And she has blue fmes! That’s a really rare trait! Not even I had ever seen that, only read about it in some old books.”

  “Heh, thanks, old man,” the tent mert said. “I guess in your own crazy way, maybe you do know a thing or two about drakes.”

  “Of course I do! Did I fet to mention my third wife was a dragon?!” the wizard casually wondered, as he looked up and scratched his .

  Alerted by the sound of heavy stomps, Balthazar turo the road where Bouldy and Druma were arriving from.

  The golem gently put dowree trunk he was carrying on his shoulder, while the goblin put down his box of tools.

  “Back so soon?” the crab asked the goblin. “Did something happen?”

  “Yes, yes, boss,” Druma said, presenting two pieces of brokeal to the crab. “Bouldy sit on saw and break it.”

  “Friend,” the golem said, with a sad frown.

  “Yes, don’t worry, I’m sure you didn’t do it on purpose, Bouldy,” Balthazar said, waving his pincer dismissively at the giant.

  As he turned back to the goblin, he realized Druma was no longer looking at him. Instead, he was staring up at Tweedus, his big goblin eyes shining with wonder, his mouth open into a child-like smile.

  “Uh… Druma?” Balthazar called.

  “B-boss,” the goblin said, without taking his eyes off the old man, “is that real wizard?”

  The crab let out another long sigh.

  Perhaps the wizard was also a specialist in goblins.

  H0st

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