“What is it, Balthazar?!” Olivia asked, running to his side and following his gaze up the stairs. “Did you see someone?”

  “No,” said the defted crab.

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “Stairs,” he pinly stated, pointing at the steps in front of him with his pincer. “It seems whoever lives here knows my orue weakness. Very crafty.”

  The young woman looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure these just e by default in houses with more than one floor.”

  “You’ve got legs,” said Suze. “’t you just… walk up the steps?”

  “It doesn’t work like that!” the miffed crusta said. “Crabs and stairs just don’t work together. Trust me.”

  The little girl rolled her eyes. “What then? We just turn around and go home?”

  “Look!” said Olivia, pointing past Suze’s shoulder. “A dumbwaiter.”

  “Hey, o call the kid names,” Balthazar quickly said.

  “No,” the mayor’s niece groaned, moving past them and standio a square shutter door built into one of the walls. “A dumbwaiter.”

  “Is that what you call your servants bae, rich girl?” the sassy street ur said.

  “Argh! It’s like aor!” Olivia expined, pulling the shutter open and revealing a small . “It’s typically used by the staff in big houses like this to take meals and other things up and down the floors without having to use the stairs.”

  “Pfft, rich people…” Suze sneered.

  “I’m not getting in that!” Balthazar excimed. “It’s way too cramped for me!”

  “Oh e on, you whiny scallop,” the child said. “Get in. I bet it will be fun. I’d go too, if there was room.”

  Olivia raised the shutter all the way to the top. “It’s either this or the stairs. Do you not want to put ao it tonight, Balthazar?”

  After some mild grumbling, the crab walked up to the dumbwaiter.

  “Go on, lift that leg. No, not that ohe young woman said, trying to help him climb into the . “No, not that oher!”

  “Oof, why is he so heavy?!” said Suze, trying to help by pushing his shell from behind.

  “Ouch! Watch the antenna!” the crusta bemoaned. “This is so humiliating.”

  After some twisting, turning, and an unfortable amount of shoving, Balthazar found himself crammed into the of the lift, partially upside-down, with half of his legs over his face.

  “The sardine has been ed!” Suze told Olivia, giving her a thumbs-up.

  “For the st time, I’m a crab!” Balthazar protested.

  “Alright, I’m going up to pull it now. Close the shutter,” the Marquessa heir replied.

  The younger girl shut the dumbwaiter on Balthazar’s face as the older one ran up the steps to the floor.

  Locked in a small dark cubicle, the crab realized he disliked tight spaces almost as much as he did heights.

  How do I keep getting myself into these situations?! He asked himself. I just wanted dires!

  With a sudden whipsh, the mert felt his innards shoot up inside his shell as the sound of ks and gears whirred all around him for a moment, before ing to an abrupt stop.

  The shutter opened again and the crab fell forward, tumbling onto the carpeted floor as his eyestalks spun around.

  “Ow,” he cried, legs sprawled as he tried to focus his blurry vision. “I liked the fish from this m, but I don’t want to see it again.”

  “Stand up!” a man’s voice that Balthazar didn’t reize said as he felt his shell being lifted bato his feet.

  “Huh?” the dizzy crab said, looking up to find a nky bandit thug standing above him.

  “Move!” the goon barked, shoving him forward.

  As his senses settled bato pce, Balthazar felt a strong smell of onion reach him. He looked around to find another man across the room, holding Olivia by the back of the neck with one hand and a dagger iher.

  “How was the ride up—” said Suze as she rushed up the stairs. “Wait, what’s—Woah!”

  A third bandit caught her by the back of the colr as she turhe er and saw everyone else, lifting her off the floor with ease as she kicked and thrashed.

  “Hey! Put me down!” the girl excimed as the stocky fiend brought her o Olivia and tied her hands together.

  “I told ya to stay out of our business, but ya just had to keep stig your nose in, didn’t ya?” Onion Jake said with a bitter tone as he held the mayor’s nie pce.

  Balthazar stood up straight as the dizziness from the dumbwaiter ride passed. “I keep telling you, crabs don’t have no—”

  “Just grab him and bring him here already!” the bandit chief barked at the goon who had opehe shutter.

  As he stepped toward the mert, Balthazar skittered bad put his pincers up. “Hey now, hands off the merdise, pal!”

  The skinny bandit hesitated, small rusty knife in hand, his gaze meeting the crab’s cws.

  “What are ya doing, you prat?!” Jake yelled. “Tie him up already!”

  “The crab’s got some real big cws, boss,” the other said.

  “Quit being a wuss! He’s all talk, he ain’t got no fight in him!”

  Balthazar looked around, trying to find a way out of their situation.

  The sed floor appeared to be some kind of ballroom, with mostly open spad a shiny waxed floor, all bathed in the light of four opulent deliers. Tapestries of all colors and patterns lihe walls, giving the room a stuffy feeling that the mert found rather unpleasant.

  Or maybe that had more to do with the unavoidable stench of onion filling the air.

  “Alright, fel, I’m just going to say it,” Balthazar decred, putting his pincers down, much to the goon’s surprise. “How do you guys put up with that smell all day, every day?”

  The lean bandit with the rusty kood speechless between the crab and his boss, giving the other man who was holding Suze a gnce as if looking for help. The shoon looked back at him with wide eyes befng at their boss from the er of his eye.

  “I—I don’t know what you mean…” the nky bandit stuttered.

  “Oh, e on!” excimed the crusta. “You know damn right what I’m talking about. Everyone who has e within the same district as him knows! What is up with that onion stench?!”

  Both bandits gulped loudly as they averted each aze.

  “You think you’re funny, huh?” Jake said, his face red and his expression fuming with anger. “You must think you’re all that, don’t ya? You probably thought you’d waltz in here, go upstairs, and win her over with your charms. Well, ya ain’t! She only has eyes for me!”

  “Hopefully she doesn’t also have a nose for you!” Suze yelled from the other bandit’s grasp, still struggling to get free from him.

  “Hah! Nie, Suze,” Balthazar said from across the room, g his pincers in her dire.

  “Shut up! Boths of ya!” Onion Jake shouted. “I’m sid tired of hearing people snickering around, talking behind me back about me smell. I don’t smell like onions!”

  “Well, boss…” the stockier bandit sheepishly started. “We actually been talkily about how we’d bring this up, and you know… we thought maybe we’d all pit and surprise you with a paid visit to that fancy bathhouse in the north district. They got these nice soaps and—”

  “Ya think I stink too?!” the ed bandit chief blurted out, his eyes bulging out at the other man.

  “No, no, boss! It ain’t like that!” the skinnier bandit said.

  “Oh yes it is,” Olivia muttered as Jake kept her hands restrained behind her back. “Holy, just stab me at this point. Maybe it will take my focus away from how much you reek.”

  The fiend’s face looked as if he was about to explode.

  “Hey, e on, boss,” the taller bandit said. “It’s just that… you know… sometimes we don’t notice our own smell like other people do and…”

  “To hell with the lot of ya!” Onion Jake spat, a manic look on his face. “You two-faced, ungrateful good-for-nothings. She was right. None of ya deserve me. She’s the only one who really appreciates me!”

  “Ugh! Who is she? Just tell us already!” the restraireet ur said with frustration.

  Seeing everyone so distracted, Balthazar tried to quietly sidestep away from the skinny bandit.

  “Hey! Where do you think yoing?” the man excimed, raising his rusty k the crab again.

  The mert stopped and looked down at the bde. Rusty or not, it was still a knife. Despite his ad two mighty pincers, Balthazar knew he wasn’t much of a fighter. Getting into a scuffle could be dangerous for him. What if the bandit got lucky and nicked him with that? He could get rust all over his pristine chitin. Or worse, scratch it lightly.

  That would be horrible. Who would want to do business with a crab with a scar on his shell?

  “Really?” Balthazar said, tilting his shell slightly. “Have you even looked at that knife?”

  “Huh?” the fused bandit said, gng down at his old, rusted out bde.

  “Look at his dagger,” the mert tinued, pointing at Jake’s pristieel bde. “He has that fancy-scy on while you guys have to go around using stuff that belongs in a scrapyard.”

  “I—I mean… he is the boss.”

  “A boss who stinks, treats you poorly, insults and abuses you, and then clearly doesn’t even properly pay for your work. Tsk, tsk, tsk… This is why you guys he Bandit Rights Association.”

  “Oh, not this again…” Olivia groaned from Jake’s grasp. “Seriously, just stab me now.”

  “The… what?” the skinny bandit asked.

  “Hey, I think I heard about that from some of the guys back at the hideout,” said the stockier bandit. “It’s like… a movement for bandits to get better pay and work ditions or somethin’.”

  “You’re all bloody idiots!” Jake yelled. “Just grab the crab already so I bring him upstairs to her!”

  “Hold on,” the goon in front of Balthazar said. “I wanna hear more about that.”

  “You see?” said the crab. “He doesn’t even care about you. It’s all ‘do this’ and ‘do that’ for him so he impress some stairs. That’s all he cares about, while you guys get paid breadcrumbs and have no prear. Look at your boots! They’re practically falling apart!”

  “Yeah, I mean… we never even saw this dy the boss keeps gushing over,” the bandit said, scratg his head.

  “You’re not worthy of setting your filthy eyes on her!” Jake shouted, waving his dagger around like a maniac while keeping Olivia down.

  “Hey, boss,” the one holding Suze said. “No disrespect, but how e you takin’ orders from this dy now? I thought you was the boss.”

  “Yeah,” added the other bandit. “And how e she lives in this fancy house but we keep getting paid peanuts?”

  “Shut your trap!” the chief excimed. “You’re all grunts! Nothing more than goons, and you’ll keep doing your job if ya know what’s good for ya!”

  The other two men recoiled at the bandit leader’s outburst, but Balthazar knew a deal ripe for the taking when he saw one.

  “I don’t know about you guys,” he said, “but it seems to me like your boss doesn’t much care for any of you.”

  [The Gift of the Crab: success]

  “Yeah, I don’t know, boss. The crab’s kinda got a point,” the man holding Suze said. “You ain’t a’ like yourself tely, all you talk about is this broad you got upstairs. We never even seen her. I think she might be doin’ your head in or somethin’.”

  “Don’t ya dare talk like that about me muse!” Jake shouted, pointing the dagger at his own men.

  The other two bandits exged nervous gnces.

  “Alright,” the nky one said, taking a few steps closer. “Maybe it’s time we went up there and talked to this chi… I mean, this dy, and cleared some stuff out, maybe discuss our pay and—”

  “Ya ain’t going up there!” the bandit chief waraking a few steps back with Olivia still held in front of him. “You’ll have to gh me first!”

  “Hey now, boss,” the shorter bandit said, putting Suze down on the floor and sloroag him too. “It’s us. Your pals. Your boys. We been nabbin’ old dies’ purses since we was just kids, remember? e on, put the dagger down, do like the crab was sayin’, discuss things.”

  The deranged man shook his head, a manic gaze in his eyes as he switched between pointing his dagger at one bandit and theher.

  “He’s gotten into your head,” Onion Jake said. “That’s what he does, with his smooth talk. Not me, though! He ain’t getting into mine! I’m clear, focused. She made—Oof!”

  Seizing her opportunity, Olivia sank her heel into the bandit’s foot, followed by a quick elbow to the groin, making him bend over his stomach as she escaped his grasp and spun around behind him.

  It was like watg a chraphed dance performance. If her dance partner was pletely unaware of the moves.

  Moving with impressive swiftness, the mayor’s niece grabbed a rge flower pot from a nearby table with both hands.

  “Ow, my jewels!” Jake grunted with a strained voice, keeling over in pain. “I’m gonna—Wait, what are you—”

  Without a hint of hesitation, Olivia stood over the kneeling bandit and shattered the ceramic pot over his head, sending shards, flowers, and water flying everywhere.

  “Maybe that will cool you off,” she said, looking down at the soaked and knocked-out bandit on the floor.

  The other two bandits stared at her with dumbfounded expressions at what had just happened.

  In fact, so did Balthazar and Suze.

  “What?” the young woman excimed, blowing a strand of hair from her eyes. “I was sick of the stench.”

  The goons looked at one another.

  Olivia grinned.

  “Alright, who wants to go ?”