I stared at Matra. Matra stared at me.

  Her face was bnk.

  Like a glitch in the matrix.

  Like she had reached a level of pure exhaustion that only dealing with me could cause.

  Then, very slowly, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and—

  "BOY."

  "Yes, ma’am?"

  "If I had another gold coin… I would shove it so far up your ass that you'd be shitting gold for the rest of your life."

  I winced. "So, I take it that’s a no?"

  Matra smiled sweetly. "What do you think?"

  I rubbed my temples. "Alright, alright. Just wanted to check. No need to get violent."

  Matra folded her arms. "No need to get violent? Boy, I am ten seconds away from snapping that pretty little neck of yours."

  "Okay, first of all—thank you. I do try to look good."

  "Second of all, you don't need to snap my neck. I'm already dying inside."

  Matra exhaled through her nose, shaking her head like she regretted every decision that had led her to this moment. "Why are you still here?"

  I opened my mouth. Closed it. Thought about it for a second. "...Because I need money?"

  Matra gave me a look so sharp it could've cut gss. "And you thought I was the best person to ask?"

  I pointed at her hut. "You're the healer. Healers charge money, right?"

  "And who the hell do you think is paying me? The corpses?" She gestured toward the vilge with a dry scoff. "People barely have food, let alone coin. My work is charity."

  "Right, right." I nodded sagely. "Charity. Gross."

  Matra smacked the side of my head with her cane.

  "Ow! Abuse! Elder abuse!"

  "I'm not the one being abused, you little shit. I'm suffering from Dan Fatigue."

  "That a real condition?"

  "It is now."

  I rubbed the sore spot on my head, sighing dramatically. "So what you're saying is, there's no way for me to get a gold coin?"

  Matra narrowed her eyes. "Depends. What kind of scam are you trying to pull?"

  "Scam? Me? Pfft. I'm offended. I prefer the term ‘strategic financial opportunity.’"

  "Strategic financial opportunity?" Matra repeated, voice dripping with skepticism. "Boy, you are the disease killing this vilge."

  "Okay, but hear me out!" I threw my hands up before she could swing again. "What if I had a way to get enough money to buy the Queen Web Lurker’s Heart instead?"

  Matra’s gaze flickered with something unreadable. "Go on."

  I grinned. "Alright, so this vilge needs a cure, and it needs one bad. But going into a mine full of those acid-spitting nightmares? That’s a death sentence."

  Matra snorted. "You just figured that out?"

  "No, I figured it out before I agreed to it, but now I have an actual pn. We don't go to the mine. We buy the damn heart instead. It’s sitting right there in my Buy & Sell menu, mocking me for a measly 650 bucks."

  Matra raised an eyebrow. "And where, pray tell, are you getting 650 bucks?"

  "That's the genius part!" I gestured wildly. "We crowdfund it."

  Matra blinked. "You mean... ask the vilgers to pay for it?"

  "Exactly!" I snapped my fingers. "We gather everyone, tell them the reality—we need this heart, or we’re all dead. We make it clear that no one person can afford it, but if we all chip in, we can pull this off."

  Matra tapped her cane against the ground, considering. "So you want to guilt the dying into emptying their pockets?"

  "I prefer to call it giving them hope and letting them invest in their own survival."

  Matra exhaled. "A scam wrapped in a kindness act..." She shook her head. "Boy, you might be onto something."

  I gasped. "Matra!"

  "What?"

  "Are you—are you actually considering this?"

  She rolled her eyes. "I live in reality, boy. If you think people won’t give their st coin for a cure, then you’re an idiot. But..." Her gaze darkened. "If you take advantage of them beyond that, I'll put you in the ground myself."

  I raised my hands. "Hey, hey, no need for threats. I promise I won't charge extra for express healing services."

  Matra’s frown deepened. "Boy."

  "Fine, fine! No scams. Just a well-managed donation system."

  She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "You're exhausting."

  "Thank you."

  "That wasn't a compliment."

  "Still taking it as one."

  Matra groaned, shaking her head. "Fine. If you really think you can pull this off, go ahead. But you better make it work."

  I grinned. "Matra, you have so much faith in me, it’s touching."

  She scoffed. "I have zero faith in you. I just want to see how bad you fail."

  I ignored that and cracked my knuckles. "Time to become the greatest fake healer this vilge has ever seen."

  An hour ter, everyone was gathered in the vilge center. The sick? They looked like they were on their st leg.

  I stood on a barrel, cpping my hands together. "Thanks for gathering, everyone."

  Someone in the crowd groaned. "Are you about to go get the Queen Web Lurker’s Heart?"

  I nodded. "Yes, but—"

  Another voice cut in. "Always a ‘but.’"

  I ignored them. "I can get it, but I need your help."

  Brent frowned. "We can't go searching for a Queen Web Lurker. Most of us aren’t even high-level!"

  I smirked. "Well, I have zero levels, stats, spells, or any of that—and I managed to help kill one."

  That shut him up for a second.

  "But," I continued, "we don’t have to kill one. I can get it right here, right now."

  Garron folded his arms. "How?"

  I grinned. "I just need money."

  The compints started immediately.

  "We don’t have any!"

  "We can barely afford food!"

  "We’re dying, you idiot!"

  I raised my hands. "Wait, wait! If everyone pitches in, this will go faster. Get all the coins you can gather and bring them to me. Valuables, garbage, anything—it's all worth money. With enough, I know we can get that Web Lurker’s Heart."

  The elder narrowed his eyes. "Are you serious?"

  "Yup. It’s either this, or we go hunting for that Queen Web Lurker in the abandoned mine—which, by the way, has an ogre guarding the entrance. So unless you’ve got some legendary weapon hidden away…"

  The elder sighed. "We don’t."

  A tense silence settled over the crowd. I let the weight of the situation sink in before speaking again. "So," I cpped my hands. "Time to empty those pockets."

  There were some grumbles, a lot of shuffling, but one by one, people began moving. Some left to grab what little they had, others simply stood there, reluctant.

  I spotted a woman clutching a tarnished silver bracelet. "That'll do," I pointed. "Bring it up."

  Another man frowned. "This is ridiculous. What if this doesn't work?"

  I fshed my best confident grin. "Then I'll be the first to admit I was wrong. But if it does? We save lives."

  The tension eased just a fraction. It wasn't perfect, but it was working.

  Matra watched from the side, arms crossed. "You better pray this actually works, boy."

  I swallowed. Yeah. Me and her both.

  Eventually, I sat on my barrel, watching the bits of money pour in. My grin stretched wider with every coin.

  2 here, 50 cents there, a few 1s, a handful of 5s, even something that sold for 15. The money just kept piling up.

  Before I could finish gathering the money, the elder pulled me aside.

  "You know," he sighed, "we’ll have nothing left after this."

  I nodded. "I know."

  He looked toward the gathered vilgers, his face weary. "What deed did I do in my past life to deserve this? This is the worst."

  "It’s not all bad," I offered.

  "It is," he countered. "There are only seventeen of us left. Six of them are sick."

  I scratched the back of my head. "That’s… not a lot for a vilge."

  "There used to be over fifty of us."

  I blinked. "Yeah… that’s still not a lot of people."

  The elder shook his head. "After my adventuring days, I was just tired of people. The drama, the fighting. I wanted somewhere quiet. So Matra and I came here, settled in this remote vilge."

  "With all the monsters around?"

  "It didn’t used to be like this," he muttered. "The vilge was developing, monsters stayed away, and people visited often enough."

  "What happened?"

  "Better opportunities. The young left for work or were conscripted. The old died. Monsters started wandering in. And without enough guards, their numbers grew."

  I crossed my arms. "That sounds like a crap excuse. Shouldn’t the king or lord have done something? Isn’t that how these things go?"

  "Normally," the elder admitted. "But this region isn’t rich. The lord hasn’t visited in years—not even to collect taxes. No one knows why. We haven’t questioned it."

  I frowned. "Then what happened to all the money the lord was supposed to get?"

  The elder looked at me and sighed. "You happened."

  I blinked. "Hey, I didn’t rob you blind. Shouldn’t the nd be super expensive? One or two gold coins for years of past-due taxes sounds cheap."

  "He takes more than coin. There are also resource requirements. In our case, lumber."

  I pondered that as the elder left. The pieces weren’t fitting together yet, but something about this felt off.

  As much as it should bother me, I just kept collecting whatever valuables came my way. Business was never my strong suit, but I think I had a knack for this.

  I made 784.32, plus the 500.84 I already had.

  I thought about Ms. Hannah, my high school teacher. She always said I’d never amount to anything. If only she could see me now. She’d probably still say I hadn’t amounted to much.

  That was fine. My life was good.

  Was.

  I wondered if this was karma. But for what? I never did anything bad.

  …Or anything good, for that matter.

  I shook off the thought and turned to Matra. "We have what we need."

  She narrowed her eyes. "Good. Because from the way you were looking, I’d bet you had the money hours ago and were just taking advantage of them."

  I gasped. "Matra! I would never!"

  She raised an eyebrow. "Boy."

  I sighed. "Alright, let’s make this cure. What steps do we need?"

  Matra turned. "Back to my pce. I don’t know them off the top of my head."

  I hopped off the barrel. "Lead the way."