“How are you, really?”
Lydia’s question hung in the air between us as her words sank in. After winning Edna’s approval, she and I made our way to my bedroom. I wao show her around, to the best of my abilities. I never expected Lydia would take the opportunity to ask me such a heavy question the moment we were alone.
Simple as it was, Lydia’s questied up everything I’d been thinking and feeling. From the moment we id Elise to rest, to now. Overall, I’d beeed kindly. But that didn’t stop me from feeling anxious. Were all of these new people really my allies? Would I ever live up to Rochelle’s legend? Would everyone abandon me if I failed?
Would the pain I felt after Elise’s death ever truly fade?
So much had happehat I’d been given little time to drown in depression. But, the wounds on my heart never vanished. Whenever I had a moment of calm, they fred. It was like a fire burning me from the i, and a fatal chill at the same time. I couldn’t right myself. Even as my body moved forward, my heart remained deep iers of sorrow.
I hadn’t lost my ability to smile, or to feel gratitude, but I was always in pain. Looking Lydia in the eyes I could hardly tain the flurry of emotions that bubbled forth. I wao g to her and sob. I wao yell at her. How could Elise have died, when Lydia was s? Why hadn’t she protected her?
It was too mue to bear. Clutg my heart I colpsed to my knees. My chest felt so tight, as if my lungs were refusing air. Was this some kind of spell? Or a curse? My thoughts swirled, being more unhinged with each passing sed.
Lydia’s arm ing around me brought with it a momentary calm. Pulling my body against hers, Lydia pressed her cheek to mine. Her face was damp. The presence of her tears finally she st of my s and I began to sob without restraint. Holding me in a tight embrace, Lydia sobbed alongside me.
No one disturbed us. They had to have heard our howls of sorrow, but perhaps wisely kept to themselves. We were left to cry, until her I, nor Lydia, had any tears left.
?I am in pain.? I signed, my gaze trag the grain of the wood fl.
“It’s okay,” Lydia gently rubbed between my ears. “I’m in pain too. Everyday I wake up wishing it was all just a nightmare. But I ’t tell you hoy I am to be able to hold you again, ne. When I thought I’d lost you too… my mio dark pces I never believed it would go.”
?I am gd we are together again too.? Even if Elise was my love and the foy attention, Lydia was a valuable member of my family. The three of us had shared a bed on cold winter nights, to keep warm when we’d run low on firewood. Lydia had helped with my training. Her magic ivotal in seg our escape whenever I made a mistake. Within only a few months of meeting Lydia, I’d stopped seeing her as a romantic rival, and instead viewed her as something akin to a big sister.
Laying my head on Lydia’s shoulder I nuzzled my fato the nape of her neck. Even if we were family in my heart, I’d defiaken her fra times. There were times, when Elise was alive, that I’d deny anything Lydia asked only because Elise wasn’t going. She’d loved to fish, and had asked me several times to e with her, but I’d always said no. Just because Elise wouldn’t be tagging along.
That Lydia ired of me. That she was here now, holding me, g with me. It was overwhelming. The warmth of her love wasn’t enough to pull me above water, but it came close. Rochelle had told me in time my pain would fade. In Lydia’s arms I could finally picture such a possibility for myself. Even if it wouldn’t e anytime soon.
“ne,” Lydia whispered softly as her fingers gently traced the outline of my spine. “Do you remember the day we met?”
Closing my eyes I tried to think back to the first day I’d met Lydia. The forest had filled with the st of smoke. I ran out of our little in the woods and gazed at the trees, my heart full of dread. Elise had left that m, and I feared something terrible had befallen her.
Eventually Elise emerged from betweerees. She was battered and bruised, and her clothes were in tatters. In her arms, she held Lydia. Later that night, Elise told me Lydia would be staying with us. She said she was a talehief, and that it’d be helpful to have someone like her around. I’d gotten jealous and called her a home-wrecker before st off to the garden.
?Yes.?
“Earlier that day, I’d attempted to kill Elise.”
My spiiffened. Lydia had tried to kill Elise? Why hadn’t I been told? Why had we kept her around?
“I was fident in my abilities. I had agility, prowess, and magic. She was just a backwater thief who stole something from the wrong guy. I gave her everything I had, a somehow it was Elise who emerged the victor. I couldn’t believe it. A sy little backwater thief was going to be my reaper. But, even in victory she defied my every expectation. Elise never pressed her ko my throat. Instead she held out her hand.”
?Why didn’t you kill her after she brought you into our home? We were defenseless.?
“I dunno,” Lydia chuckled softly. “I was he type for honor. But there was something about her. Something special. I didn’t want to snuff out her light. And there was you. At first, you always looked at me with such suspi. I was w if you had a sixth se was like you could smell death on me, even if you were too young to identify the st.”
Grabbing my shoulder, Lydia lightly pushed me away so that she could look into my eyes. “I cherished you from the moment I id eyes on you, ne. You were so vulnerable and needy. The way you always followed Elise around like a lost dug melted my heart.”
?Lost dug?? A tingling warmth spread ay face as I signed Lydia’s words back to her. Had I really been so pitiful in my attempt to earn Elise’s affe?
“That’s how you appeared to me.” Lydia smiled for a moment before her gaze turned solemn. “I know now probably wasn’t the best time to e , but the truth has been weighing on me for a long time. I really hope you don’t hate me for who I was.”
?My feelings haven’t ged. I love you, sister.? As shog as it was to hear that Lydia was an assassin who’d been hired to kill Elise, it ged nothing. She and I had been family for years. Even Elise, the one she’d targeted, had trusted her pletely. If Elise never ned her, I certainly wouldn’t.
“I love you too,” Lydia pulled me into a tight hug.
That night, after introdug Lydia to Bir, and expining everything that’d happeo Rochelle, I slept soundly. For the first time in weeks I had a pleasant dream. One of a future without bloodshed or the threat of viole was an impractical dream, but I cherished it all the same.
“Good m, ne,” Bir smiled as she gently shook me awake. “Did you sleep well?”
?M, Bir. Where’s Lydia?? Given her ck of de, Lydia was supposed to be learning proper ettiequte from Bir. It would likely be quite difficult for her to go from treating me like a little sister, to a princess. She’d need lots of practice, even if I didn’t actually wao ge.
“She’s getting ready in the courtyard. Lady Edna wants to start yic lessons today and Lydia insisted she be the first oo teach you. Apparently, she made you a promise long ago and she intends to fulfill it today.”
Sitting upright I stretched befetting out of bed. As soon as I was standing Bir offered to help me ge, though, not into one of the dresses I’d been given. Instead I was given a loose blouse and a skirt with shorts sewn into it. Clothes that were easy to move in, but nothing I’d owned before.
?Where did these e from??
“I got your measurements from Rika after I healed her and the others. Then I proceeded to buy some ready-made clothing for you. It’s nothing as fancy as what Edna intended for you to have, but I figured it would do for now.”
?Thank you.?
Once I was ged, Bir led me to the rear gardens. There, Edna and Lydia were waiting for us uhe shade of an umbrel. Edna was seated at a table, with one of her maids brewing tea nearby. Lydia was behind her, shuffling awkwardly. Not being allowed to sit at the same table as a noble was likely quite the culture shock for her.
“Ah, Lady ne!” Edna waved. “Please sit. Breakfast will be brought out to us soon. We don’t want you to start your training on ay stomach.”
Nodding I gave a sign of thanks before sitting down.
“Have you told her our attentions, Bir?”
“No midy, I believed you’d prefer to discuss your training pns with Lady ne directly.”
“Very good,” Edna grinned. “We’ll take this oep at a time then. Please do eat until you’re full, Princess, but don’t over indulge. You might grow ill during the training if you’re too full.”
I looked at Edna suspiciously, but took her warning to heart. When our food arrived, I ate only enough to sate my hunger.
“Full?” Edna asked after I’d stopped eating. When I nodded, she asked me to follow her. With Lydia and Bir tagging along behind us, Edna led me along the outskirts of her garden and inte shed.
The air ihe shed was tinged with something foul. On ohere was a set of vials and jars, as well as a few things hidden under cloths.
“Before you cast magic, it is ary, at least among noble houses, to teach you how to make ichor. This is not something you will have to do for yourself often, if ever. The process requires no magid is something anyone do with training. You buy it, or have a servant make it, but it’s important you uand it.”
Finishing her expnation, Edna lifted the first of the cloths oable, revealing a jar filled with a red substahe smell of iron wafting off of it made me certain it was blood.
“The essenagic is innate only to monsters,” Edna noted. “To make ichor, we o imbibe part of these tainted beasts. You could cast magic just by drinking their blood. The damage such foolishness would wre your body would be immense. Mortals ied ichor to circumvent the harm i in ing monsters for power.”
Lifting another cloth, Edna revealed a jar filled with strips of bark. Without expining she moved onto the , revealing another jar of freshly harvested moss, and one full of berries.
“Ichor takes around two months to make. First you soak bark from the Maiden Tree in the blood for a month. Then you pour it into a jar of Honey Moss for a week. To finish it you use a simple oo oh ratio of blood to the juice of Gasping Berries. Let it stabilize for three more weeks in a dark pd you’re done.”
?Why Gasping Berries? Aren’t they poisonous?? The berries Edna spoke of got their name for the fact that whoever ate them would gasp for breath. They’d ofte was chilling to think something so terrible was in every vial of ichor we drank.
“The ichor in it’s near-final state has a way of harmonizing with the poison in Gasping Berries. It nullifies it, and importantly ges as a result. Each of these steps may seem arbitrary, but they’re all critical. Any iade without them will e with sequences. Even this recipe does not mitigate the possibility of harm. You still die from overwhelming your body. Or worse, demonize.”
Bir pced a reassuring hand on my shoulder. She likely didn’t wao grow disced. A dangerous as ichor was, it was the required fuel fic. I’d never bee a petent saint if I wasn’t willing to use it.
?How I tell if the ichor someone gives me was made properly??
“There isn’t a good method of identifying low quality ichor.” Edna replied with a sigh. “We lose fledgling mages every year to fraudulent ichor, it’s actually quite the problem. The only thing you do, other than making it yourself, is to buy from reputable vendors. If you’re having your servants make it for you, ensure you only allow those who have earned your plete trust to perform the task.”
“Sometimes the color is off,” Lydia noted. “Ichor is always bck, even when you make it into a bead it should be bck. The mere hint of another color is a good sign you should avoid it.”
?Uood.?
“And with our ichor lesson out of the way,” Edna smiled. “It’s time to start training.”
Taking me by the hand, Lydia pulled me out of the shed. “Are you ready?”
?Yes!? I was so ready my tail was creating its own wind current. Finally after years, Lydia was going to teach me magic.
“Good. Now run.”
eri