030 Chibi Perfume

  "How about we spend the night together?"

  The words had already left my mouth before I realized just how badly they could be misstrued.

  "The night is still young."

  Okay? That was just as bad. No—actually, I made it worse.

  Jia Yun flinched. I swore I saw it. Just the smallest movement, the slightest recoil, but it was there.

  Crap.

  I guessed I was still yet to fully ie into this world. How the hell were you supposed to say Do you want to hang out? in xianxia without it sounding suggestive? There had to be a way, right? I mean, people had to make friends here somehow.

  Jia Yun, to her credit, mao school her expression, but there was a certain stiffo it now, like she had swallowed something bitter.

  "If Senior Da wishes to be apanied by this disciple for a night, then this disciple will willingly e with you."

  I opened my mouth to crify, but then—

  "However," she tinued, her voice calm yet carrying an unmistakable edge, "be forewarhat Jia Yun cherishes her purity."

  …

  Purity?

  Wait. Was this a religious thing? Maybe she was vegetarian or had some strict diet restris? Was she forbidden from eatiain street foods?

  I could work with that.

  "That's fih me," I said, nodding as if I totally uood what was going on. "Feel free to say no if something displeases you."

  Jia Yun and I walked side by side through the dimly lit corridors of the Isotion Path Sect’s quarters. The air was thick with silehe kind that settled when two people weren’t sure whether they should be talking.

  The Isotion Path disciples' quarters were led in the quieter parts of the City Governor’s estate—an area where the air felt colder, the shadows stretched longer, and the presence of its octs was more like an ominous whisper than an actual prese wasn’t eerie, exactly, but it had that undeniable feeling of something watg from the ers.

  Just as we arrived, we crossed paths with a familiar figure.

  Fan Shi.

  Jia Yun and Fan Shi locked gazes, their expressions sharp and unreadable.

  For a moment, I thought I saw sparks flicker between them. Not the good kiher—the kind that happened before a battlefield exploded.

  I cleared my throat. “Ah, Fan Shi, I was looking for you.”

  Fan Shi cupped her hands and gave a slight bow. “Thank you for your instrus, Senior Da. How may I help you?”

  Instrus? Oh. She probably meant our brief exge ba the arena when she was fighting Jia Yun.

  I g Jia Yun, who visibly fli the word instrus. Her lips pressed together into a thin line.

  Crap. Was she misuanding something?

  I decided to push ahead before she could overthink it. “Let’s go out.”

  …

  Fan Shi blinked. Jia Yun narrowed her eyes.

  Okay. Now I sounded like I was asking her out.

  I quickly crified, “The two of you started off on the wrong foot. One of you nearly died, and the other was about to be absolutely and one-sidedly beaten up to death.”

  Fan Shi frowned slightly. Jia Yun’s head tilted—like a curious ra.

  I tinued, “This martial tour exists to hone your skills and showcase your strength to the world. Whatever grudge you’ve built up over the fight, it’s not worth keeping. Anyways, I want the two of you to make amends.”

  Fan Shi looked at me like I had just spoken in an a, fotten tongue.

  Jia Yun folded her arms, sidering my words.

  I could already tell this was going to be a challenge.

  Okay, maybe I had ulterior motives for inviting them to hang out.

  Gu Jie was busy cultivating with Lei Fen’s help, and I had grown into the habit of enjoying the festival—seeing the stalls, sampling the food, and just taking imosphere. I had invited g Fan to join me, but he insisted he had duties to attend to.

  Disappointed, I had inally po go out alone and have fun at my own pace. I had too few friends, but then I remembered—I could just make some.

  That’s when I thought of Jia Yun. She still owed me a versation, and, more importantly, she basically owed me her life after I healed her. She wouldn’t refuse.

  And then there was Fan Shi.

  There were a lot of reasons I wao talk to her. How could she use psychic magic? Why was she so hostile to me when we first met? Did she have a personal grudge against people like me, or was I just unlucky?

  It was just a bonus that I had the perfect my p to mediate betweewo.

  If I succeeded, I’d have some goodwill with both of them—a good icebreaker for the future. If I failed, well, at least I tried.

  For all the tragedies in the world, I figured most of them were likely caused by a ck . Not that I had proof. Personal experience would suffice, I guess.

  I cpped my hands together. “Follow me, kids. I’m going to show you a good time.”

  Jia Yun and Fan Shi exged gnces before silently following as I led them through the City Governor’s estate and out towards the festival.

  The guards at the gates looked fused as two beauties trailed behind me.

  Couldn’t bme them.

  These two were ned his m. From what I remembered, their fight had been the most intense and brutal of the tour so far.

  Fan Shi had almost been mauled by a she-fox who was a whole realm higher than her. And then Jia Yun had her soul ripped out and was humiliated by a brute-like haymaker.

  And now here we were.

  Nothing suspicious about that at all.

  If I was going to take a side, I would, of course, take Fan Shi’s side.

  And yes, I was aware I was being biased.

  I guessed it was because the Isotion Path Sect was taking care of Gu Jie. Maybe that shouldn’t have been a factor, but it was.

  Painful as it was to admit, objectively speaking, the fault y with us adults ba the VIP box whearted betting things we shouldn’t have.

  Sure, it was Long Xieren who suggested it, but he had framed it as a friendly wager—something casual, without any stakes. I was the one who escated it after seeing what Fan Shi could do.

  Because of the bets and the stakes ihe ist Sect decided to go all in. They used their trump card—whatever that teique was.

  In summary, I am guilty.

  Fan Shi’s voice cut through my thoughts.

  “Senior Da, I believe I was owed a treasure after you wo… against the Elders and the City Governor.”

  There was a barb ione.

  It wasn’t directed at me.

  Jia Yun looked like she didn’t care, her expression perfectly ral, but I noticed her hand tremblih her sleeve.

  I sighed. “I gave it to Elder Lei Fen. He said it was too good for you and that he would pensate you with something of equivalent value. If you’re not satisfied with that, I could talk to him.”

  Fan Shi’s lips pressed into a thin line before she nodded. “It is fine, Senior. I am satisfied with this arra.”

  We finally arrived at the footpath where the night market stalls were starting to appear. The st of sizzling skewers, steamed buns, and fried dough filled the air, mixing with the ughter of festival-goers.

  Maybe this would be fun after all.

  We were gathering attention.

  And yes, I retty sure it was because we were pretty—myself included.

  My charisma stat probably allowed me to look good even while toug grass or something.

  However, the real reason we were drawing so many looks wasn’t just my overwhelming charm. It was because Fan Shi and Jia Yun had fought iour earlier today. Their battle had been one of the most intense and brutal ones so far. And now, they were walking side by side with me, which must have looked dht bizarre.

  “I didn’t foresee this,” I sighed. I guessed you couldn’t always be the smart guy.

  “At least they’re giving us a wide berth,” I muttered, watg as festival-goers hurriedly stepped aside to let us pass. Nobody wao get caught in the crossfire if these two suddenly started fighting again.

  Jia Yun and Fan Shi remained quiet. Not in the fortable kind of way, but in the I don’t want to be here but I have no choice kind of way.

  Just say no if you don’t want to e. Was that so hard?

  They weren’t even making side ents to each other, which I found more ing.

  I started thinking. How should I make these two fellows amend in a way they would leave without any lingering grievances?

  I recalled Fan Shi beien into a er by a fox-shaped Jia Yun. And then there was Jia Yun, pletely and utterly humiliated when Fan Shi hit her with Soul Rend.

  I vaguely remembered the fvor text of Soul Rend describing it as a staple for soul-suckers and mind fyers. And those two monsters were notorious sadists.

  I could imagine Soul Rend being a torturous experience.

  So yeah.

  The grudge betweewo must have been very deep.

  I walked.

  They followed.

  I turned into an alley.

  They still followed.

  What with these gals? Did they have no self-awareness? I had even prepared an excuse in my mind in case they questioned me.

  I stopped and turo them with a stern expression.

  “I said I’d show you guys a good time, right?”

  They nodded, still wary of each other.

  I smiled and reached into my Item Box, produg a small vial beled Chibi Perfume.

  “Stay still,” I said as I sprayed them.

  That sounded wrong in so many ways.

  I sprayed myself toood measure.

  Fan Shi took a sniff. “It smells good.”

  Yep, it did. I was surprised too.

  Then Jia Yun, in the most serious tone imaginable, said, “Is it a sex-enhang drug?”

  I froze.

  Did I hear that right?

  I turo Fan Shi, hoping for some sort of rea. Judging by her utterly fused expression, I probably heard it right.

  “No,” I deadpanned. “It will make me small.”

  Jia Yun nodded as if ing to a grand realization. “Does small feel better?”

  I rubbed the bridge of my nose. Was it possible this ice-cold beauty was actually an airhead?

  “No,” I sighed. “I don’t get what you mean… It will turn us small, so don’t panic, okay?”

  A soft pop filled the air, followed by a shimmer of starry sparks.

  Fan Shi was the first to shrink, her form turning childlike while her clothes magically adjusted to fit her smaller body—just as advertised by the gimmicky perfume in LLO.

  Jia Yun blinked. “Small… Huh?”

  There was a long pause as she stared at Fan Shi, then at me, then back at Fan Shi.

  “Jia Yun uands,” she said solemnly. “Jia Yun shall not panic then, Senior.”

  Good. A normal response—

  “But you prefer us small?”

  Okay.

  Okay.

  That sounded wrong on so many levels.

  Before I could say anything, my own transformation hit me. With another pop, I shrank down, my body now that of a child, still dressed appropriately.

  I sighed. “Let’s spend the night as kids and have fun, so o hold back. Also—” I shot them a sharp look. “ing into fights.”

  Jia Yun finally shrank as well, looking absolutely bewildered as she examined her little hands. Then she looked at Fan Shi. Then at me. Then back at her little hands.

  I could practically hear the gears iiny head struggling to turn.

  “So, it wasn’t that kind of spend the night together?” murmured chibi Jia Yuiny arms crossed as she looked up at me in ption.

  I sighed.

  Realizing what she had been thinking this eime made me want to sit down ahink my life choices.

  Fan Shi tilted her head, fused. “What? What kind of night together?”

  Not helping, Fan Shi.

  I waved my hand. “Fet it. Just—fet it.”

  Jia Yun gave a slow nod as if I had just firmed some deep, unspoken truth for her. “Jia Yun sees… Senior prefers pying with children first before—”

  I cpped my hands together. “opping yht there.”

  Fan Shi looked between us, still fused, but thankfully decided not to pursue the topic further.

  I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “Alright, listen up. The whole point of this is to experiehe festival without everyoaring at us like we’re walking disasters. No tour politio sect rivalries, nes. Just kids having fun, uood?”

  Jia Yun nodded solemnly. “Jia Yun uands.”

  Fan Shi hesitated before sighing and nodding. “Uood, Senior Da.”

  “Good,” I said, turning to lead the way. “Now, let’s go mess around before I regret everything.”