The weekend after graduation Mike and Rocco were going to take a celebratory camping trip in honor of Rocco’s accomplishment. They both knew this would be the last weekend they would see each other for a while. They headed out on Friday night and would spend Saturday and Sunday in the cabin. They would head back to Miners Creek on Monday morning. On Tuesday, the Barbers would fly out to Hawaii for one last family vacation together before Joe went away for college. It would be the last time the Barbers would go away on vacation as a family unit.

  Rocco would be driving to Los Angeles with Pete for six weeks the following Tuesday. They would not return until the first week of August. Rocco would spend the rest of August getting ready to move from Miners Creek to Nashville to start school in the fall. That only left a couple of weeks when he came back to see Mike before he left for college.

  It was going to be both an exciting and a tough summer for Rocco. Mike didn’t know the name of the hotel they would be staying at. A phone call from the Continental states would cost a fortune so Mike could not give Rocco a call when he got to Hawaii. Conversely, Rocco was not sure how much easy access to a phone he would have when he was in LA. The soonest either of them could talk to each other on the phone would be in July when Mike returned home. The Barbers were expected to return July 7th. They planned for Rocco to call on Wednesday, July 8. Rocco marked in his makeshift calendar to call Mike first thing on July 8. He could call as soon as he got up since Mike would be two hours ahead. Deep down, they knew the fate of their relationship was sealed. However, a date on the calendar to make phone contact gave Rocco a glimmer of hope.

  Mike picked up Rocco. Rocco gave Mike a huge smile when he saw Mike wearing the Yankee ballcap that he frequently wore since Rocco first put it on his head. They arrived at the cabin close to sundown on Friday night. It only took less than 10 minutes to unpack the car. They had learned that all they really needed on these camping trips was food, snacks, drinks, clothes, and toothbrushes. Even though the cabins were listed as rustic, they came stocked with pots and pans in the little kitchenette and toiletries and linens in the pantry next to the bathroom. They decided against doing any major outdoors activities. If weather permitted, the most they would do outside would be to go swimming in the lake. They mostly wanted to spend their time together without any kind of a plan.

  “Well,” Mike said placing the box of food by the refrigerator, “we won’t need to build a fire.” It was mid-June, and the weather was already starting to kick into full summer mode. The cabins had a rudimentary air conditioner – the kind that motels use in their rooms. Mike went to turn on the AC. It kicked on with a loud squeal and a clunk. For a moment, it didn’t do anything until it finally made ticking noises and started pushing out cool air. The cabin must have been unused for a couple of weeks because it was stuffy as all hell when they entered.

  Rocco went over to the bed and fiddled with the radio. There were not many stations that came in strongly on the ragged tuner. However, he was able to get a clear signal on a soft rock station. It was not the music that either of them would choose.

  “Come lay down with me,” Rocco said falling onto the bed. Mike gave Rocco a smirk and made his way to the bed. It had been a week since they were intimate with each other. Graduation meant little opportunities for Rocco and Mike to sneak away. There had been many family obligations that kept them from each other.

  Roberta Flack’s “The First Ever I Saw Your Face” started playing on the little radio. Both had heard bits of the song here and there. However, they both paid close attention to the lyrics as they laid on the bed in each other’s arms. They found that the lyrics perfectly described the trajectory of their relationship. “The first time ever I saw your face…” reminded them both of that first day they met each other in Civics class. “The first time ever I kissed your mouth…” reminded them of Tiffany’s party out in the woods when they shared their first kiss. “The first time ever I lay with you…” reminded them of the time Rocco snuck Mike into his room after their first date. They both had their eyes closed holding each other as the words of the song flooded them with a year’s worth of memories.

  “Rocco, I want to stay here in our cabin on this bed, forever,” Mike said as he ran his hand over Rocco’s chest.

  “Okay,” Rocco whispered as he ran his fingers through Mike’s hair. Mike’s auburn hair was well past his eyes.

  They laid in the bed for most of the night dozing off in each other’s arms and watching the other sleep. It was hot in the cabin, and the little AC barely kept the space from getting unbearable. Rocco reached over and held Mike’s face in his hands. Mike gave him a little smile and leaned in to give Rocco a kiss. The heat of the summer intensified Rocco’s earthy scent and Mike’s sweet musk. They lay embraced and asleep in each other’s arms until sunrise the next morning.

  Rocco woke up first the next morning. Rocco propped his head on his hand and scanned Mike’s body. Mike was still sound asleep. It had been a while since Rocco had carefully looked at Mike’s body. Rocco admired how Mike’s skin was covered in light freckles all over his body. In certain areas, the freckles were darker due to exposure to the sun. Those areas that did not get as much sun were a pale pinkish hue with an overlay of faint spots. In the sunlight, he almost glowed.

  Rocco wanted to run his hands through Mike’s burnt orange hair but did not want to wake him. It hadn’t looked like Mike had a significant hair cut since they first met. His hair was trimmed only around the ears and the neck leaving his hair long and floppy. It was entirely covering his eyes so that Rocco could only see his nose and full bright pink lips. Mike had a couple of days of stubble which was a mosaic of blond, light orange, and dark red.

  Mike breathed in deeply and licked his lips. He moved his hand to his face to move his bangs over and away from his eyes. His eyebrows and eyelashes were dark orange. When he opened his eyes, Rocco instantly fell into Mike’s eyes. They were hazel around the edges but green towards the pupil. Mike looked up at Rocco and gave him a little smile.

  “Good morning,” Mike said sitting his head up to the top of his pillow.

  “Good morning, there,” Rocco said softly and took Mike’s hand into his. Mike’s hands were soft and warm like the rest of his body. Rocco loved how Mike’s frame was on the small side, but he still had a soft layer of fat all over his body. It struck Rocco that in the sunlight, Mike’s entire body was covered with a light fuzz even though he had always thought Mike was smooth.

  “What’s on our agenda for today?” Mike said and cleared his throat.

  “The only I have on my agenda is to spend the day with you,” Rocco said rubbing Mike’s hand in his. Mike gave Rocco a little giggle along with a closed eye grin.

  “Okay,” Mike said. “I’m starving though.”

  “Me too,” Rocco replied with a smirk.

  “For food,” Mike said flatly.

  “Me too,” Rocco replied with a chuckle.

  “Can I make you some breakfast?” Mike asked sitting up in bed.

  “I’m not going to say no,” Rocco said laying back in the bed.

  “Okay,” Mike said throwing his legs off the bed and standing up. “You stay there. I’ll fix us something and bring it back to bed.

  “That sounds perfect,” Rocco said and pulled the sheet over himself.

  Mike went into the kitchenette and prepared them some scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. He put on a pot of hot water to have available for some instant coffee. Mike brought over two plates of food and went back to pour water so that he could stir in the dried coffee. He brought over the two cups and joined Rocco on the bed to devour breakfast.

  Once they had finished, they decided that the weather was perfect for another try at the lake. The early heat of mid-June had surely warmed the lake up enough to go for a comfortable swim. They brought their swimsuits to be ready if that were the case. By time they had packed up and made it to the lake, it was getting close to noon. Mike spread out a blanket to lie on by the lake. There were groups of people in the lake which was a good sign that the temperature of the water was fine. Mike dipped his feet in and gave Rocco a thumbs up. Rocco followed Mike into the lake. The water was indeed comfortably cool. They spent almost an hour and half swimming and splashing around in the water like two 10-year-olds. A few times, Mike dunked Rocco’s head under the water which led to Rocco splashing Mike multiple times. After they exhausted themselves in the water, they laid their waterlogged bodies on the blanket to let the sun dry their bodies. The warmth of the sun made Rocco drowsy. He almost fell asleep when Mike brought him to his senses.

  “It’s past lunchtime. You want to go back and have lunch?” Mike asked.

  “Mm-hmm,” Rocco lazily agreed and helped Mike pack up the blanket.

  Mike fixed them sandwiches and chips for lunch. They ate on the little loveseat in front of the ancient TV set without turning it on.

  “So, do you have your LA trip all mapped out?” Mike asked taking a bite of his sandwich.

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  Rocco put his sandwich down on his plate and set it aside. “You really want to hear about it?”

  “Of course I do,” Mike said taking another bite of his sandwich.

  Rocco sighed, unsure if he was ready to talk with Mike about the details. However, since Mike had asked, he would give it a try.

  “Well, I’m going to pick Pete up and we will drive most of the day to Louisiana. We will be staying at the first motel that has a vacancy close to the border of Texas,” Rocco started.

  “You haven’t booked a room yet?” Mike asked.

  “We didn’t book any rooms along the way. We were just going to wing it,” Rocco answered.

  “Really???” Mike said in amazement. “That’s very adventurous.”

  “Yeah, that’s life on the road with Pete,” Rocco laughed. “Then, we’ll drive the next day and try to make it across Texas as far as we can. The day after that, we will try to make it through to Arizona. Then on the last day, we’ll get to LA.”

  “Do you have a place in LA?” Mike asked.

  “That we do have. I booked us a room for a couple of nights in Santa Monica. During that time, we will look for a place that rents by the week,” Rocco replied.

  “You think that will be easy?” Mike asked inquisitively.

  “I’m sure. I mean, the city must be teeming with weekly rental hotels,” Rocco said and picked his plate back up to continue eating.

  “Wow,” Mike said, “that sounds like quite an adventure.”

  “We’re young. We’ll manage,” Rocco laughed. “And if we don’t, we’ll just drive back.”

  Mike laughed along with Rocco but, inside, he wanted to tell him ‘Just drive back to me’. He didn’t want to add any fuel to his fire of misery, however. He already knew this was going to be a difficult camping trip. He just wanted to enjoy Rocco’s company. Trying to remain neutral, he kept the conversation on Rocco’s trip.

  “What are you guys going to do out there?” Mike asked finishing his sandwich and placing his plate on the floor.

  “I don’t really know. Pete said he wants to try singing. I guess we will go around to find him auditions,” Rocco said. “I don’t think he’s thought that part out yet.”

  “Yeah, it can’t be that easy to just find a job as a singer for a few weeks,” Mike replied.

  “I get a feeling it’s going to be longer than a few weeks,” Rocco said.

  “What do you mean?” Mike interjected.

  “The way he’s been talking, I think Pete may want to stay out in LA,” Rocco said putting his plate on the floor.

  “Seriously?” Mike said in shock.

  “It’s not something that he’s said, but I have this gut feeling he’s not coming back,” Rocco replied looking off in the distance.

  Mike thought for a moment at what Rocco said. “I can totally see Pete doing that.”

  “He never had any kind of a plan after graduation. I can’t really stop him either. It’s his life.” Rocco said looking back at Mike. Mike looked back at Rocco and nodded. “Can we not talk about LA anymore?” Rocco asked. “I really just want to enjoy here and now.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Mike said trying to keep himself from tearing up. He paused for a second and then tried to change the subject. “Do you want to play cards or something? I think there’s some games in the pantry. They may even have all the pieces.”

  “Sure,” Rocco said happy that Mike suggested something that would take his mind off the coming weeks without Mike. He wanted to know more about the family trip to Hawaii but was afraid of spoiling their precious time together.

  Mike dug around in the pantry closet and found a full deck of cards and a Monopoly board game. They spent the afternoon playing rounds of gin, gin rummy, and eventually rummy until suppertime. Mike fried some burgers for them for dinner. They ate while they played Monopoly. Halfway through the game of Monopoly, they decided that the loser had to do whatever the winner wanted that night. Mike won the game but decided that the only thing Rocco had to do was to officially give Mike the Yankees cap for good. That in no way put Rocco out since it was already Mike’s the moment Rocco put it on his head.

  On Sunday morning, it was Mike’s turn to watch Rocco sleep. The AC had been on the entire time, and the cabin was closed off enough during their trip that the inside was finally cool and comfortable. During the night, it was cool enough inside that they had slept under the covers. This time, Mike propped his head on his hand to watch Rocco asleep. Mike loved how Rocco’s skin was almost completely uniform in color. His tanned skin had a few moles and freckles, but he was not nearly as covered as Mike. Rocco tanned to a medium golden color. He had tan lines from the lake.

  Mike also wanted to run his hands through Rocco’s thick black hair. Rocco hadn’t dyed his hair blue-black in a while, but his hair was still dark as midnight. Rocco had frequent cuts, so it was close on the sides and back and longer and fuller on top. Mike stared lovingly at Rocco’s straight aquiline nose and full red lips. Rocco had a perpetual blue shadow of stubble under this skin. Over the course of a couple of days of not shaving, Rocco’s stubble came in thick and black.

  When Rocco opened his eyes, Mike lovingly peered into Rocco’s dark brown eyes which were speckled with flakes of gold and green.

  “Good morning,” Rocco said sitting his head up to the top of his pillow.

  “Good morning, there,” Mike replied. “Want to go to the lake again after breakfast?”

  “Sure,” Rocco replied. Mike got up and made them breakfast again serving it to Rocco in bed as he did yesterday.

  They spent the morning on the lake again splashing and cavorting as yesterday. This morning, there was no one else on the lake. This was especially delightful for Mike and Rocco since they could lay on the blanket and make out with no prying eyes. Occasionally they would hear a stick break in the distance but realized it was a squirrel or some other forest critter and resumed their kissing.

  The final morning that they spent in the cabin, both Mike and Rocco woke up dreading this day. Without saying anything, they packed up their belongings. They made it a quick chore. Even though they didn’t want their last camping trip to end, neither of them wanted to draw out this moment. Mike was wearing the Yankees cap backwards. As Mike put the last of the supplies in the car, Rocco stopped at the threshold of the cabin and gave it one final look. This was the place he and Mike shared some of their most intimate moments together. Mike walked up behind Rocco and put his arms around his waist. Mike rested his head on Rocco’s back and closed his eyes. He breathed in Rocco’s scent and gave him a kiss on the back.

  “This will always be our place,” Mike whispered. Rocco nodded and turned around. He gave Mike a light kiss on the forehead. Mike looked up and kissed Rocco on the lips. Rocco smiled and wiped away a tear. He got in the car and looked off in the distance as Mike locked up the cabin and put the key in the mailbox.

  The drive home was quiet. Both had so much they wanted to say to each other but neither of them could muster up the fortitude to say a word. They sat silently watching the blooming scenery pass by through the car windows.

  Before Rocco knew it, Mike pulled into the lot of Rocco’s apartment building. They sat in the car quietly for a moment before Mike finally spoke.

  “Have a safe trip out to LA,” Mike said without looking at Rocco.

  “Yeah, I will,” Rocco looking down at the floorboard. “Have fun in Hawaii.”

  “I’ll try,” Mike said still not looking at Rocco.

  Rocco turned to Mike. Mike looked over at Rocco. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before kissing deeply and passionately for five minutes. Finally, against his will but knowing that prolonging this moment was not doing either of them any favors, Rocco broke away and got his backpack from the back seat. He looked at Mike one more time before getting out of the car.

  Rocco started to walk inside trying desperately to hold his tears back until he could get into his room and break down. He stopped and turned towards Mike’s car. Mike was sitting looking straight ahead. Rocco walked back over to the car and tapped on Mike’s window. Mike looked over and rolled the window down.

  “I love you, Mike Barber,” Rocco said finally letting the tears flow. Mike saw this and started crying himself. Mike quickly got out of the car and embraced Rocco forcefully in an attempt to capture a bit of Rocco’s soul.

  “I love you, Rocco,” Mike exclaimed and sobbed. They embraced for several minutes while various apartment dwellers stopped to look and then go about their business.

  Mike finally pulled away and got in his car. He looked at Rocco one more time.

  “Party on, Garth,” Rocco said.

  “Party on, Wayne,” Mike said and drove away.

  Mike

  As Mike pulled away, he saw Rocco in his rear-view mirror standing in the parking lot. As soon as Rocco’s apartment complex was out of view, Mike pulled over on the side of road. He laid his head on the steering wheel and started to uncontrollably sob. He put his hands on the steering wheel feeling the Yankees cap on his head. Every bit of sadness he had been feeling about this moment came out of him like a flood. He heard himself heaving and sighing like he never had before. Deep down, he knew that this would be the last time he would ever see Rocco. He would, of course, await Rocco’s call when he returned from Hawaii, and, with Miners Creek being so small, he was sure to run into Rocco at some point. However, it would never be the same again. He would never be Rocco’s boyfriend again. The pain in his heart stabbed him worse than any physical pain he had ever felt.

  It took him about 30 minutes on the side of that road to regain his composure enough to make it home. He ran straight to his room without unloading his car and cried himself into a midday nap. He woke up later that afternoon and started to pack himself a suitcase for Hawaii.

  Rocco

  Rocco had just watched Mike drive out of the parking lot of his apartment complex and out of his life. Even though he would call as soon as Mike arrived back from Hawaii, somewhere in his soul, Rocco knew things had just changed. The separation would inevitably split them apart. Rocco wanted to believe that things would not change over the summer, but he knew when he returned, life would be different. He didn’t know what would happen while he would be in Los Angeles, but he knew he would come back a different person. He would come back an adult. That scared him, but what scared him even more was knowing that his days as Mike’s boyfriend were over.

  A sharp pang of emotion overcame him making him breath in heavily. He felt like he wanted to scream but gathered himself enough to make it inside. Luckily, his mother was at work, so he did not have to face having his pain get twisted into her pain. He dropped his backpack on the floor and ran into his room. He collapsed on the bed and sobbed into his pillow. This was the pillow that Mike had laid his head on many times. Rocco tried desperately to inhale as much of the pillow as he could in the hopes of any faint trace of Mike’s scent. All that happened was that Rocco started to choke on the material. He wanted to hold Mike in his arms one more time. He wanted to caress his soft auburn hair again. The only thing he could do was embrace the pillow as if it were Mike. He cried himself into a restless two-hour nap.

  When he opened his swollen eyes, he was numb from the pain. He felt as if there were no more tears left in his body. He got up and made his way into the bathroom. His eyes were red, and he had dried snot on his face. He turned on the faucet and watched the water pour out into the sink. He had no idea how he was going to make it through the rest of the summer without Mike at his side. Mike had become a part of him over the course of the year. What was he going to do without him? Rocco breathed in deeply and washed his face. He stared at himself in the mirror for a few minutes without drying his face. Finally, he sighed trying to fight back what tears could form from his dehydrated eyes. Rocco walked into his room and sat on his bed. He looked around his room. His eyes fell upon the drawing that Mike had done so long ago when they first fell in love. He placed his finger onto a part of the drawing capturing a bit of graphite on his fingertip. He knew a piece of Mike’s soul was intertwined in the dark smudge on his finger. Desperate to have Mike’s essence in him, he licked his finger clean. It was a hollow substitution, but it’s what he had at that moment.

  Rocco gathered up enough energy to get himself off the bed and start packing for next week—anything to keep his mind occupied.