Rex Thomson was twenty-five years old.
He used to be the cool dude in college, famous on IG and all that bullshit.
But now… now he had thinning hair from stress, and was spending his Friday night QA-testing the worst MMORPG to ever glitch its way into early access: Realms of Varnath: Beta Eternal.
His job?
Walk into walls, clip through terrain, and log every single typo in the codex entries for Moss Variant #37.
His pay?
Twenty bucks an hour and the slow erosion of his will to live.
Though in fact, he’s actually a runaway heir, a son of a conglomerate who thought that he can make it big on his own.
Then again, life is quite funny. Ups and downs, trials and errors, laughs and cries.
Rex rubbed his eyes under his cracked VR headset and stared at the flickering HUD. The Quest: Defend the Village (Again) banner had bugged out and now just read:
> [ERROR] FLAG_NOT_FOUND: //TODO FIX THIS??
“Tch! Classic Varnath.” Rex muttered, leaning back in his swivel chair and taking a bite of his lukewarm, three-day-old microwave burrito…
…and that’s when it happened.
A sudden, horrifying sizzle. A spark. A *zap*. And then…
*BOOM!*
The VR headset exploded with a pop like a champagne cork from hell, and everything went dark.
“FUCK!”
He cursed out loud.
**
Rex opened his eyes to the worst headache he’d ever had and the distinct scent of… “Wet hay?” He was confused. Drowsy. Rubbing his forehead.
He groaned and tried to sit up.
But as mentioned, life is quite funny… at least it is for him as Rex rolled off what felt like a sack of potatoes and landed face-first in mud.
“Urgh, what the…?”
A sharp *ding!* rang in his ears, followed by a voice that was far too chipper.
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> **[WELCOME, PLAYER! YOU HAVE ENTERED THE REALMS OF VARNATH: BETA ETERNAL]**
> **[CLASS: COMMONER — TUTORIAL VERSION]**
> **[PASSIVE SKILLS UNLOCKED: Slippery When Wet, Immune to Shame, Punchable Face (+20% aggro)]**
Rex blinked. “Huh?”
He blinked once more. “THE FUCK?”
He stared at his reflection in a puddle. Beady yellow eyes. Toned. Fuckboy hair. Ripped clothes.
“I’ve been Isekai’d into the game? As a motherfucking tutorial dude?”
*Ding!*
> **[NEW QUEST: Survive Until the End of the Tutorial]**
> **[Optional: Don't Die Like an Idiot]**
He opened his inventory. It contained:
- 1 (One) Crusty Twig (Weapon?)
- 3 Rotten Berries (May cause regrets…)
- 1 Tattered Loincloth (Already Equipped)
- 0 Dignity (Unequippable)
“This is a nightmare!” Rex squawked. Then he paused. “Hang on.” He take a breather, “actually… this is just Varnath.”
**
Rex had barely taken two steps out of the muddy hovel that counted as his tutorial spawn when he heard a blood-curdling scream.
“UNHAND ME, FOUL MONSTERS! I AM A PRINCE! I WILL HAVE YOU BEHEADED IN STYLE! FAST AND FURIOUS!”
A series of slaps followed.
Rex rounded the corner and saw it… a ridiculously good-looking blond man in shredded noble-wear, held upside down by three goblins twice Rex’s size –and as a tutorial commoner in the game, he is quite buffy and tall. The man’s silk shirt was torn open, revealing a suspiciously glittery six-pack, and he had a gold circlet tilted rakishly on his forehead.
Holy fuck, dude’s prettier than my supermodel ex-girlfriend I’m dumbfounded! He exclaimed out loud. In his mind. I swear there’s some kind of stars revolving around that dude too!
“Stop! I’m too pretty to die like this!” The man shouted. “Also, I bruise easily!”
Ah, it’s probably him. Rex thought.
The goblins just cackled and raised their rusty meat cleavers.
Rex then sighed. “Of course. The game finally gives me a party member and he’s Prince Zoolander.”
He charged forward, twig in hand.
“Hey, swamp butts! Pick on someone your own… approximate level!”
The goblins turned.
Combat initiated.
**[COMBAT STARTED: vs. Goblin Grunts x3]**
**LEVEL: 5 | Rex: Level 1 (Technically)**
> **[You used Crusty Twig!]**
> It does 0.5 damage. One goblin sneezes in confusion.
“Seriously?” Rex spat.
One of the goblins slashed downward.
> **[You dodged accidentally!]**
> **[You activated: Slippery When Wet!]**
> **[Critical Miss! Goblin stabs itself.]**
“…I’m not going to lie,” Rex uttered. “That was kind of awesome.” He tilted his head. Proudly. And grinning.
With the chaos continuing and the goblins getting tangled in their own attacks, Rex managed to grab a cleaver and thunk the last one on the head.
> **[Victory!]**
> **[Loot Received: Goblin Cleaver (Dull), Goblin Tooth (Cursed?), 1x Dramatic Rescue Scene]**
The prince dusted himself off and flicked his hair like he was in a shampoo commercial. “Well fought, good Sir! You’ve just earned the honour of becoming my personal sidekick.” He smiled. Sparkly.
Rex narrowed his eyes. “What?”
The prince grinned and struck a pose. “I am Prince Trevor de Vaughn, heir to the Sapphire Throne, slayer of boredom, breaker of hearts, and now… escapee from royal obligations.” He said proudly. “Who might you be, noble Sir?”
“…Rex.”
“Short and punchy. I like it.” Trevor clapped him on the back. “I hereby declare our bromance official. Come, Reximus. Adventure awaits!”
Rex sighed. Heavily. Dude is going to be the death of me.
> **[New Party Member: Prince Trevor de Vaughn (Class: Royal Nuisance)]**
> **[Passive Ability Unlocked: Attract Chaos]**
