“JAPANESE!!! VERSUS… FILIPINO!!! FIGHT!!!” yelled Chris, as Jedan faces against the vigilante, Dark.
Dark smirks, bouncing up and down, before speaking OUT LOUD… Wait…
Jed yells out. “YELL NAKAKAPAGPABAGABAG!!!”
“Nakakapagpabagabag!” yelled Dark, albeit his voice was much softer. “Say, AISATSU…”
“Aisatsu…”
“The DEBATABLE answer…”
“Utsu…” smirked Jed, who bounces up and down like in street fighter. “ANSWER THIS!!! Bababa ba!?”
“BABABA!!!” he yelled with perfect pronunciation. Dark growls. Dark yells out, “Say this! Jugemu Jugemu Goko-no Sukire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerukoto-no Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Palpaipo Paopo-no Shuringan!” Dark then takes a long gasp. “Shuringan-no Gurindai Gurindai-no Ponpokopi-no Ponpokona-no Choyumei-no Chousuke.”
Chris is shocked. “Hol’ up-...”
Jed yells out, “WILL DO!!! HAPPILY!! Jugemu Jugemu Goko-no Sukire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Kuunerukoto-no Sumutokoro Yaburakoji-no Burakoji Palpaipo Paopo-no Shuringan!” Jed then takes a long gasp. “Shuringan-no Gurindai Gurindai-no Ponpokopi-no Ponpokona-no Choyumei-no Chousuke!”
Chris’ maw just stayed opened out of astonishment.
“Tch-! You’re good…” Dark grumbled to himself. “How ABOUT THIS!!?”
“Uh-uh… IT’S MY TURN, JOHN STEVENSON of Shinpi no Shima!!!” roared Jed.
“Very well… Speak, rubber boy.”
Jedan smirks. “Tong tong tong pakitong ki tong. Alimango. Sa dagat. Malaki at masarap. Mahirap, hulihin. SAPAGKAT NANGANGAGAT!!!”
“Psh. Easy!”
“The VOWEL version of the song.”
“Tch-! Tang… Tang… Tang tang pakatang ka tang. Alamanga sa dagat. Malaka at masarap. Maharap. Halahan. SAPAGKAT NANGANGAGAT!!!”
“Faster!”
“Teng teng TENG PEKE TENG KE TENG!!! ELEMENGE!!! SE DEGET!!! MELEKE ET MESEREP!!! MEHEREP!!! HELEHEN!!! SEPEGKET NENGENGEGET!!!“
“FASTER!!!” Jed roared insanely.
“TING TING TING TING PIKITINGKITING!!!”
“That extra ‘TING’ was MUCH APPRECIATED!!!”
“ILIMINGI!!! SI DIGIT!!! MILIKI IT MISIRIP!!! MIHIRIP!!! HILIHIN!!! SIPIGKIT NINGINGIGIT!!! TONG TONG TONG TONG POKOTONG KO TONG!!! OLOMONGO!!! SO DOGOT!!! MOLOKO OT MOSOROP!!! MOHOROP!!! HOLOHON!!! SOPOGKOT NONGONGOGOT!!! TUNG TUNG… TUNG TUNG PUKUTUNG KU TUNG!!! ULUMUNGU!!!” he sang, while Chris and Jed actually started rooting for their opponent. “SU DUGUT!!! MULUKU UT MUSURUP!!! MUHURUP… HULUHUN… SUPUGKUT NUNGUNGUGUT!!!”
“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!?!?” roared Miguel, seeing that they’ve been doing the rap battle in a beach house full of Crab People. “Why are you singing about eating Alimangos, AKA… CRAB… IN THIS BEACHHOUSE FULL OF CRAB PEOPLE BABIES?!?”
“Alimangos… are… crabs…?” asked one crab baby.
“Wait… Wait no…”
“UWAAAAAAAA!!!!” sobbed the first, followed by many others.
They begin crying in horror.
Later…
Miguel facepalms while driving the Cool Dude Bus, incredibly and begrudgingly annoyed. “Our mission was to keep those babies safe while their parents were doing the great march. Least half of them came back… What sucks is that WE TRAUMATIZED THEM… FOR LIFE!!!”
“I could go for some crab right now,” said Chris, as Dark and Jed gave him an annoyed stare. “Sorry.”
Myrmex wakes up at the back seat with messy hair and some dried drool on her face, crackling her neck then stretching. She sniffs the air. “Ugh. What happened?”
“Oh. Hey. We were just having an argument about cannibalism.”
“We ain’t crabs, though.”
“I mean… I’m part ant and I eat ants,” said Myrmex, scratching her head.
“Yeah. And Athena eats me sometimes,” smiled Chris.
Myrmex sighs and begins playing her Switch.
“Dude. You’d get a headache if you play that.”
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“Eh. I can do it.”
“Honestly… This lady gives me such a headache…” Miguel sighed, driving past a massive cone-like volcano whose slopes curved upward to its mouth. “Huh… Is that supposed to be Yellowstone?” asked Miguel, only for the bus to lose engine. “God-... Fred!”
Fred nods. “On it, buddy.“ Fred began fixing the device.
Gerard smiles, sitting pretty and drinking some tea. “Alright. Blimey! Is that a bloody penguin?”
“A penguin? Why would they be in America?”
“Messianic Ice Age? Ice caps? C’mon, Miguel. Those things are birds. You clearly haven’t seen a Beaked Seal before, have ya?”
Miguel’s eyes widen. “Like… those genetically engineered ones from the 2020s of your world?”
“Precisely! Ugh! Birds! I would LOVE to have Dodo right now.”
Miguel takes out his wings and ticks them. Miguel smirks.
Athena’s eyes widen. “You good, dude?”
Miguel teleports outside and lands before…
Bluford Ninjaheim, whose beard was as thick as his skull. Stubborn, old, and smelling like hops and beer, Bluford smirked before Miguel.
“I see you’re here to assassinate me yourself?” asked Miguel.
“Not really. Not now. We’ve been observing your latest actions from a Messenger Crow. We like what you got, boy,” he smirked, placing his hand on his red blade’s handle.
Myrmex hops out of the bus. “‘Messenger Crow?’” She lands perfectly on her feet and immediately walks next to Miguel.
“And?” asked Miguel, observing how Bluford’s fingers consecutively tapped on his sword’s handle.
Bluford gives a proud grin. “And we believe the war might be put off. One, because that idiot assassin of ours is getting married to my cousin.”
Miguel turns to Gerard and Robin, giggling. “Your cousin?” he asked, turning back to Bluford.
“Yes. Gerard is Red II, yes? Idiot.” asked Bluford.
“And secondly?”
Bluford gives a sigh that clouds the air before his face. “We may have the same enemy. This… Eradicator… And his new Disciple… Among others of his cult.”
“You knew him, right? He ws your-...?” Miguel closes his eyes and thinks of the consaguinity math. “-... cousin…?”
“Yes. He is traitor. He gives dishonor to people. My people.”
“Ahhh… I see. You’re half Neanderthal, huh?” asked Myrmex.
“Yes. I am Caveman,” said Bluford, brutally.
“Ah… Well… Very well!” smiled Myrmex. “Just wanted to like… jot down the peoples in this world…” said Myrmex, typing into her Holopuck.
Miguel and the team reach a walled city, in the shape of a pentagon, now a heavily-guarded city that protects nothing else except its King. They are al mercenaries, but regardless, they seem to be utterly kind to each other, as if they were family.
“Holy shit…” said Myrmex. “THIS… THE PENTAGON!?!? Or… a much bigger, Pentagon…!?” asked Myrmex. “This is a post-apocalyptic United States OF AMERICA!?!?”
“You should see Beatle’s version of the Philippines. That place was a hellhole before we changed things up. Aight. Let’s move,” said Miguel, driving the bus.
Miguel sees that the gate is very, very small, and that the bus won’t even fit. “Parking here. Jed. Dark. Chris. DO NOT leave this bus.”
“Yes, sir,” said Chris.
Miguel sighs as he, Myrmex, Gerard, and Fred enter the small gate.
“JUGEMU JUGEMU-!!!”
They walked into the city and is immediately met with guards within a thick wall, each rugged and smelly, each of them wearing armor made of chainmail or even some alien devices. They reach the true city, where they see the massive and bountiful field of crops being made in greenhouses. The city was walled, heavily, and felt like a gigantic hive than an actual city. It had everything, from food, to water made from the icy river passing through the city, and even a government. The true city revealed an inner workings of mercenaries each working to get a quick buck for their meal, while eating and drinking together.
“Na na na na na na na na! Batman!” sang the bard who played a strange advanced instrument that created beautiful melodies. “Na na na na na na na na-...”
“We Akteonites believe in the mythology of the Detective Comedia, which was popular in the early prehistoric age of our time… We view them as gods… Such as Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and all those super cool gods, no?”
“Those are Superhe-...” said Miguel, as Myrmex punches his shoulder. “I mean… They are, indeed!”
“Ah… They’re Detectivifsts. More of a Marvelite my bloody self,” said Gerard.
“Bah humbug! There ain’t no gods and there certainly ain’t no Celestial being watchin’ over us!” yelled Fred, walking after Gerard.
“Hey! You respect our religion, Dog Man…” said Bluford. “I kill better men for less…“ he smirked. “We see King now…” said Bluford, before they walked and stumbled upon the center of the pentagon…
Miguel passes by a statue, seeing statue of Black Sabbath, Anna’s variant from this world and Beatle’s wife.
“I heard… she died during the Prime Wars… I am… sorry… for loss…” said Bluford.
“Yeah… we are taking care of her kids now… Billy and St. Princess.”
“You look very saddened by this. How close were you?”
“We were work friends at best… But… a woman who looked just like her meant very much to me.”
Myrmex holds his hand, smiling. “You’ll get through this… Just as I will…”
Miguel gives an adorable smile. “Alright. Where’s this King of yours?”
In the palace, they see Unter,tending to some flowers and drinking ginger ale.
Myrmex smells him, and he smells more like tea, just like Gerard, who sees Unter and immediately smiled.
“Uncle!” smiled Gerard, as they grasped each other’s arms in a rather manly way.
“Good to see you, nephew!” sneered Unter. “We had been watching your activities in Maharlica. You have good balls, kid.”
“Uh… thanks,” smiled Gerard.
“Ah! The Emperor! The Aswang King himself who rules the Multiverse!” smiled Unter, hugging Miguel.
Miguel sees that Unter’s left arm and left leg are strange metal cylindrical alien-like protrusions with a deadly spiked mouth on the end, one looking like a dragon’s mouth on his arm and his leg being a peg with a gaping mouth.
“Oh! This!?” sneered Unter, before giving a hearty laugh. Unter points his blaster arm to the sky of his palace, as the roof opens and he blasts into the sky, where a roasted eagle falls into his right hand. “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That cool, no?” smiled Unter.
“That’s a bald eagle… a national treasure.”
“Treasure for belly, yes?” smiled Unter, eating the mutated eagle.
“R-... Right…” said Myrmex, feeling lightheaded from the whiplash of events. “I… wanna lie down.”
Miguel smiles. “You guys have a bed?”
“Yes! We have Royal Inn!” smiled Unter. “No worry! No worry! Yes! You come here because I need help!”
The others guide Myrmex to her room, but Miguel is intrigued.
“You need my help?”
“Yes. Eradicator… Nearly killed me years ago. I survive with no arm and NO LEG!!!” laughed Unter, swaying back and forth and bouncing proudly. “I need you to fight him.“
“I already did. I failed.” Miguel’s eyes go blank. “It was… scary…” He grasped the back of his head, as if he missed laying on some sort of pillow… or someone’s lap…
“That is because you don’t know secret technique! Tomorrow!? I teach you. To stop the unstoppable and move.. THE IMMOVABLE!!!” smirked Unter.
“Really? Whoa… Alright! I’m in! Do we get to train?”
“YES!!!” smiled Unter. “Follow me…”
Miguel smiles, walking and following him.
Miguel punches his palm, grasping his fist. “Ready…”
