Narrated by Joseph Reinlanton

  I woke up early in the morning.

  I looked at my body, but there were no wounds or scars, even though I clearly remembered passing out, and my body had been covered in injuries.

  So, I did what I always do—I ran toward the bathroom to check my reflection.

  It might seem strange, but for me, it was a way to protect my sanity from that man.

  I looked into the mirror—and saw him standing behind me.

  I quickly turned around and pulled a knife from my belt, trying to slit my throat, but the knife vanished from my hand.

  Suddenly, I found myself in a white void, sitting before a table with two chairs.

  He was seated in one of the chairs and said,

  “Don’t try anything. I control this dream. I can do whatever I want.”

  I smiled at him and replied,

  “Too bad you only control the dream.”

  He stepped away from the chair and began circling me as he spoke:

  “You’re right. I can’t control your life. But I can mess with your head and drive you insane. Still, I won’t do that. I have more important things to handle. I need to take care of you.”

  He sat back down and gestured toward the other chair.

  “Sit. Standing for too long isn’t good for you.”

  I quietly sat and said,

  “I don’t care what you do. It won’t affect the real world.”

  He chuckled.

  “You’re wrong. I’m a manifestation of your mind, here to help. If you don’t listen to me, you’ll lose.”

  —“Didn’t you tell me I was going to lose no matter what?”

  —“I did. But if you listen, you’ll lose the battle—and win the war.”

  I laughed.

  “Strange how I’m arguing with myself in a dream.”

  —“You’re not talking to yourself. I’m not even a person. I’m just a fragment of your mind, created to guide you—to help you find victory after loss.”

  —“Then what should I do?”

  —“We’ll get to that after your second loss.”

  —“What about my first loss? How will I lose it?”

  —“You already did. A long time ago.”

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  —“What? What do you mean?”

  Suddenly, everything started to blur and fade.

  But before the man disappeared, he said:

  “It seems... you don’t really miss your parents that much.”

  Then I woke up—this time, in the real world.

  I could barely open my eyes. I knew I wasn’t in an inn, or Natasha’s house, or even a hospital.

  So, I kept my eyes shut and just listened.

  The commander was there, trying to calm Natasha down, though I can’t remember what he was saying.

  The place wasn’t quiet. It felt like the infirmary at the base, but I wasn’t lying on a bed—I was on the floor.

  I didn’t hear any of my siblings. Maybe they were asleep.

  Then the commander suddenly went silent.

  No one interrupted him—he just stopped.

  I was sure it wasn’t Natasha or Elena… but my siblings were asleep.

  I remember hearing just one thing:

  “You need to leave now. Something bad is coming. I have to send you away.”

  I tried to get up—

  And then lost consciousness again.

  When I woke up, I was deep in the forest.

  My siblings and the girls were all around the campfire—everyone was sitting except me. I was lying down.

  I tried to move, but my body was completely wrecked.

  Nikolai helped me sit up and wrapped his jacket around me. He smiled and said,

  “What you did was stupid. But honestly, I would’ve done the same.”

  I tried to speak, but no words came out.

  Jason laughed and said,

  “Are you talking about killing the or burning myself like a barbecue sausage??”

  He knew exactly what I was trying to say—just like we all did.

  We lived so close, so connected, I could always tell what one of my siblings wanted to say.

  Since I couldn’t speak, I just smiled.

  Night was falling, and I still couldn’t move.

  Dwayne laughed and said,

  “You looked like a burnt sausage when you killed that giant. Your body was smoking like grilled meat.”

  Suddenly, I passed out again.

  When I woke up, I was on Nikolai’s back. The weather was freezing, but I didn’t care.

  I still couldn’t move, but I could finally talk. So I asked:

  “How long have I been asleep?”

  —“Five days.”

  It was silent. Bitter cold. Snow was falling. We had no home, no money.

  So I said:

  “Where are we going? The girls can’t live the way we used to.”

  Nikolai ignored the question and asked instead:

  “How many volts did you use to kill the giant?”

  I didn’t repeat myself. I knew they’d already discussed it.

  So I answered,

  “Ten billion volts.”

  Before he could say another word, I passed out again.

  But the next time I woke up, I could finally move.

  Everyone else was asleep.

  So I walked—until I heard rumbling in the distance.

  It was armies.

  Armies of soldiers, and gods.

  And in that moment, I finally understood what he meant by loss.