Spoiler TW: N/A

  [colpse]"Hey..." I asked, pulling on Julia's sleeve. "Why is, um-" I didn't really know what to say. The person known as Leon, when I had first saw them, had arrived at our aunt's house wearing a white blouse and a long bck skirt. So I thought it was obvious that she was a girl. A girl that was maybe a little shy. And seemed to be reserved. The she asked for somewhere to get changed and it felt like she morphed.

  She came back from that room and I'm pretty sure they were a different person. Their clothes had changed and their body looked different and everyone called him Leon now. And he was also a little more active. More talkative and expressive.

  Oh... That was the real them.

  And now he was back in the blouse and skirt. The perfect picture of misery. His shoulders were slumped in apathy and sadness was pstered on his face. He had silently approached Julia, a pstic bag held in his outstretched hand. He picked up some of the things that Ms. Amber and Mr. Robert had brought with them and began to load it into their car.

  "Why is... Leon dressed like that if he clearly doesn't like it?" I asked Julia. I didn't need to be told that he disliked it, he basically radiating discomfort all around him.

  Julia gave me a gentle, knowing smile as she bent down towards me.

  Well... It's because he has to. He obviously doesn't like it, but his parents... they don't approve. You could probably imagine how that conversation went."

  I... see. I know how that feels.

  I thought of my own parents. My dad practically screeching at me to make me take back what I said. My mom, trying her best to console me and failing. Hearing from both of them things I didn't want to. So yeah, I could imagine how it went for him. As I was swimming in unwanted memories, Julia continued talking to me in a soft voice.

  "I wouldn't worry about him too much. His parents did say no, but that doesn't mean he had to give up."

  That... That right there caught my interest. I gave Julia my best 'What do you mean?' look. She smiled.

  "His parents may have said no. And he does want to try talking about it to them again, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the conversation. If they still say no and are absolutely against it, then he pns to move out when he turns eighteen and do it anyway."

  Oh. Wow.

  It sounded like Leon had it all figured out. I think I was feeling... Respect? I guess. To have your parents completely shut down something you want to do, and then try to do all you can to do it anyway. Leon had returned from his trip to the car, and I couldn't help but look up to him like the brightest star in the sky. I frowned.

  Leon moved like a quiet cloud of discomfort. Gloom was evident on his face as he approached Julia, A pstic bad in hand. He held it out to her, not even saying anything but still getting the message across.

  "I got it. I'll bring something else to your locker tomorrow, as always."

  He silently nodded once, then went back to loading up the car. Okay. They clearly have some type of unspoken pn going on. Again, I questioned Julia. She shook the bag in her hands.

  "Leon and I had a deal going for a long time. We would come to school wearing clothes that we had to, and then swap with each other at our lockers. I don't really need to do it anymore, since my parents are okay with me being 'me'. But it's different for him. His parents aren't okay with it. So I still hold onto his clothes and bring him something new every once in a while."

  Huh.

  So, basically, Leon was acting 'normal' in front of hus parents, then trying to be himself at school? But-

  "That sounds so dangerous! Why would he risk being found out. What if his parents suddenly showed up at school?" God. I was feeling the anxiety for him, and I just found out about it.

  "Because he got tired of waiting," Julia said simply. "Leon is going to do what he wants when he moves out. But does that mean he's going to continue to be something he's not right now? Just to satisfy his parents? Is he going to continue hurting himself like that- denying himself, I mean- just so his parents can be comfortable?"

  Julia turned and stared directly into my eyes. There was a chime of resolve in her next few words. It... felt like she was speaking directly to me? Even though we were talking about Leon.

  "This is your life, not theirs. Only you get to decide what you do with it," She said. After she got the words out, she seemed to... rex a bit.

  "Leon knows how his parents will react. He knows that they might brush off the topic again. So he's going to try and live his life the way he wants to right now. Just because they say 'No' now, doesn't mean you have to wait and do nothing."

  Right now...

  "Okay." Jullia startled me as she rose to full height. "I need to help everyone else clean up. Nice talking to ya, kid." And off she went, pstic bag in hand, out to my aunt's car.

  Did I... want to wait? I thought. Could I wait that long? Let me see...

  I held out both my hands and began counting.

  One. Two. Three. Four...

  I felt the blood drain from my face when I realized how many years it would take and I quickly decided that if I did happen to do something, it would be sooner rather than ter.

  Okay. Well, Leon is going to try talking to his parents again. Maybe I-

  I visibly cringed at the thought of bringing this up to my mom and dad in any way again. The screaming and rejection, apologizing and consoling.

  For their comfort.

  No. I didn't even want to think about that conversation going some other way. So, what else could I do? I remember what Julia had told me just a few hours ago.

  The first step is the most important. She told me. It was me realizing that something was wrong and that I didn't like it.

  I also remembered embarassing myself with that follow up question and what she had said in response.

  Hmm... Well, for me, I did some exploring.

  I paused, coming to a realization. Did I want to wait? Could I wait?

  ...

  We... have this big binder back at home that has all of the photos we take as a family. There's also pictures of us with any notable achievements and exciting moments in there too. One of them was when my mom was pregnant with Maya, and one when she was having me. On the back of mine, mom and dad had written a lot of names. One side for if it was a boy, and one for if it was a girl. Each list had a few of the names circled on them, and one had always jumped out at me. I always thought... That if I was a girl...

  I found myself hopping over to the kitchen counter with a sudden burst of energy. Snatching up a bck marker, I quickly pulled its cap off and scanned the paper in front of me. One of the six circles in front of me was already filled with a pink, white, and blue fg with a sloppily drawn female gender symbol. I moved to the next avaible cirlce and began to write.

  I had to be honest with myself... I didn't want to wait. Seeing Julia and Leon, people who were trying their hardest to be who they truly are, right in front of me... I at least wanted to try for myself. To see if any of this would make a difference. If it made me want to be okay with being myself. I slowly scribbled a few words into one of the circles.

  Hi! My name is Renee!

  I had written it out like I was introducing myself to someone for the first time. I looked down at the statement, absorbing it all in. My name is Renee. I thought. And my heart started to beat faster. I felt so... silly. Why did saying that to myself make me feel so happy all of a sudden? For a really long moment, I just stared down at the name I had written on the paper, enamored, absorbing it all in.

  Maybe now would be a good time to-

  "Wat'cha doin'?"

  A strand of Maya's blue wig popped into view, and I couldn't help myself. The paper I had been writing on was sent flying across the counter as I unconsciously flicked it away from Maya's prying eyes. I felt an immense buildup of shame as it flitted down to the floor.

  "What?!" I yelled in embarrassment. Maya raised her hands and took a step back as I gred at her.

  “My bad…” She said. Maya didn’t move from that spot and just waited.

  She didn’t mean it…

  “Sorry…”

  I purposely avoided her eyes as I slid off of the stool and went to pick up the paper. Gripping both sides of the paper, I read the sentence again. I wanted to do something about it. I really did. But… I couldn’t shake that feeling of shame. Like it was wrong somehow, to feel okay with it. And I think I started to chicken out.

  T-there’s too many people here anyway. I can do this some other time. I could always do it tomorrow. Or in a few days. There’s no rush… Yeah.

  Then I folded the paper a few times and stuffed it into my pocket.

  The next half hour passed by in a blur with me barely noticing anything happening around me. I know that the girls were talking about stuff during the ride and the only things that had actually registered with me was Julia saying goodbye, and Maya poking me on the back of my head. When we finally pulled up to the house, Aunt Gigi asked Maya to call mom out to her.

  “Yeah, I got you.” She said that, Then struggled to gather everything in her arm for at least a minute. Well, I was going into the house already, might as well help her out.

  “Hey, Ma…”

  “Oh! There’s my boy! Where’s Your sister?” She asked me. Mom was sitting on the couch, reading one of her cheesy romance novels. The only light that was on in the house came from the living room. I looked around for a bit before asking mom “where’s dad?”

  "Your dad went out with some of his work friends. It'll be a couple of hours before he's back."

  Dad's not here... Huh.

  Before I realized it, mom was in front of me. She startled me when she gently pced a hand on the side of my face.

  "What's wrong?" She asked.

  "Nothing!" I blurted out quickly as I jerked my head away. "Aunt Gigi wants to talk with you."

  "Hm..."

  Mom looked like she wanted to say something else. Her gaze bounced between me and the front door, as if she was fighting to make a decision.

  "I'll be right back." She said, and out the front door she went. I stood in the doorway and watched as mom walked over to Maya, appraised her outfit with some skepticism, and then started talking with Gigi.

  I'm tired...

  I went back into the house and started to go back to my room when I heard Aunt Gigi's car backing out of the driveway. I happened to look out the window, moving the curtain slightly to watch her go, when I noticed mom was in the passenger seat.

  This is your chance.

  I left the window just as Maya turned around and sped off to my room. I had made all of those excuses earlier, about how there were too many people around, and how it didn't feel like the best time to say something. But now, something in my chest buzzed with... anticipation? I couldn't really describe it. Just that something told me I'd be stupid not to try. And I did. I wanted to do something right now.

  I ran to my room and smmed the door behind me. Feeling around in my pocket I took out the folded piece of paper and held it in my hands. Then I closed my eyes and listened. The front door shutting with a sharp 'crack' and the few seconds of silence afterwards, followed by the growing sounds of footsteps walking past my room and away in the other direction. When the door at the end of the hall opened and closed, I waited about a minute or so and made my move.

  But... How do I go about doing this? Like, just tell her up front? Should I give her a hint or something?

  Ah. Hold on!

  Maya opened the door and at the sight of her, my mind went bnk.

  "Oh... Hey-" I immediately pushed the paper into her hands and brushed past her. "-Ah! What?" I couldn't see her face, but I could tell she was a bit unhappy that I had barged into her room without permission again. But... I don't know! If I didn't do it like that, I had a feeling that I would have tried to run away. I found the only empty spot on Maya's bed and sat down.

  She stood in the doorway, lost and confused, so I asked her "Can you close the door?"

  "Sure..." The door shut and locked, she turned around to face me.

  Man, my anxiety was shooting through the roof waiting for something to happen. I tried to point at the paper in her hand, just to draw her attention to it. She looked down at it questioningly, flipped it a few times, and started to open it. Jeez... Why is it so hard to breath right now...

  Maya finally looked down at the fully opened paper, her eyes flickering over the few words I had written. A few things happened in that short moment. She smiled for a second, then frowned the next as she felt for something that was in her pocket. She shook her head after times and raised the paper towards me.

  "This is you?" She asked simply. I shored up what little courage I had left, locked eyes with her, and nodded once.

  "Hmm." Was all she said. Maya read the paper again.

  "Okay! Here's what's gonna happen."

  I snapped to attention, hanging onto every word that would come out of her mouth.

  "One," Maya held up a finger. "I'm the oldest, so I still call shotgun on car rides."

  I nodded.

  "Two, knock first and maybe I'll give you permission to enter my room. You got that."

  Okay? I nodded again.

  "And here's what's actually gonna change." Maya walked over to me still sitting on the bed. She reached out, smushing the pile of clothes and accessories to one side and sat down in the new empty space. Honestly, I had no idea where she was going with this, but the suspense still had me holding in my breath as I cautiously watched her.

  "You," Maya started. "Are my sister now. Renee, right?" She asked with a nervous grin.

  "I... Yes."

  "Great! My little sister Renee!" With a burst of enthusiasm, Maya embraced me in a really tight hug. Then, with a big, exaggerated 'Mwah!' she kissed me on the forehead.

  "Ew! Gross! Don't... don't do that."

  I know That I probably sounded so annoyed to Maya, but I was actually, genuinely, relieved. Instead of pushing her away, my body rexed, letting go of all the tension I had built up and melting into hug. I sighed out a shuddering breath and let the tears that I was unknowingly holding back flow.

  Maya squeezed me a little tighter, but didn’t say anything else.

  “So,” she said after a few minutes of silence. “What do you want to do next?”

  With a small sniffle and a wipe of the eyes, I straightened up son I could talk properly.

  “I’m not really sure… what do you think?”

  “Hmm… Well, you could tell someone else. Like, maybe-“

  I furiously shook my head ‘No!’ I didn’t even want to think about telling anyone else right now.

  Maya sighed. “Fine. We’ll come back to that.” She tilted her head to the side.

  “Did you want to try on something?”

  “T-try on?” I felt my heat up in embarrassment. I asked the question like I didn’t know what she meant, but I had thought about it. A lot.

  Maya smiled. She seemed to be bursting with newfound enthusiasm, jumping up from the bed and rushing to the closet. She dug through the things at the bottom, flinging clothes and accessories all over the floor until she pulled out a small pstic bag.

  “Here. I got something for ya.”

  HenshinTetsuya