“Sometimes, love requires discretion. And sometimes, love requires hiding in a bush with a telescope while wearing enchanted camoufge underwear.” – Lucien Wyrhart

  It was a bright, breezy afternoon in the city district just outside Welliston Academy. The sort of day when flowers bloom a little too brightly, birds chirp like they were bribed by a romance author, and the scent of roasted honeybread from the street stalls makes even the most battle-hardened arsonist want to settle down and get married.

  Today was the day.

  Gram’s date.

  With Celestia Ardyn Sarnhild.

  The words alone caused enough whipsh in Squad 7’s collective psyche that they decred an emergency mission briefing the night before—right after tying Gram to a chair and interrogating him about his intentions.

  Now, as the sun climbed over the city, Gram—dressed in suspiciously well-fitted formal attire (hand-sewn by Eli overnight with deadly precision)—stood under the clocktower fountain, nervously holding a bouquet of cold-resistant lilies and spirit bloom petals. His hair, for once, was brushed. His eyes twitching. His fingers clenching. His soul halfway leaving his body.

  “Don’t mess this up,” Lucien had whispered this morning, handing him a charm to suppress potion-based body odor.

  “Or I swear to all twelve gods,” Reille added, “we’ll burn the date location down to the cobblestones and bme the Student Council.”

  Phase I: Observation and ProtectionLucien, Reille, and Eli, under cloaks of invisibility and comically bad disguises, had taken up position nearby.

  Lucien was wearing a mustache and monocle combo that screamed “I’m a suspicious noble,” while Reille posed as a small fruit cart vendor despite not having any fruit and Eli was just behind a statue pretending to be part of it.

  “Oh gods,” Lucien muttered, watching Gram fidget like a socially anxious squirrel. “He’s going to combust. I can see the alchemical nerves leaking out of him.”

  “I told him not to wear that many protective charms,” Eli whispered. “If he sneezes, he’ll open a rift.”

  Reille elbowed them both. “Shut it. She’s here.”

  And oh, was she.

  Princess Celestia Ardyn Sarnhild descended the marble steps from the upper gardens with the grace of someone who’d never once stubbed a toe. Her hair was braided with silver thread, her academy uniform modified ever so slightly to resemble royal formalwear, and her expression—stoic, unreadable, yet… amused.

  Because she knew.

  She definitely knew.

  Her eyes flicked once—once—toward the suspicious statue with breathing issues, the fruit cart vendor with no fruit, and the monocled noble chewing on his own glove.

  But she said nothing.

  Not. A. Word.

  She walked up to Gram, smiled faintly, and said, “You look quite… cautious.”

  “I—I was told to prepare for anything,” Gram stammered, nearly dropping the flowers.

  Celestia gently took the bouquet, nodded, and linked arms with him.

  “Well then,” she said, “let’s see if you’re prepared for… lunch.”

  Phase II: InfiltrationSquad 7’s next pn was mobile surveilnce.

  They followed the couple to the upper terrace café—where Lucien immediately bribed a waiter with a pouch of silver and his “signature” to let them sit four tables away.

  Unfortunately, Lucien’s “signature” included a drawing of Ember biting a noble’s leg and the words “I’m not here.”

  Reille pulled out her spy-gsses and zoomed in on Celestia feeding Gram a bite of lemon cake. “They’re already feeding each other. We’ve lost him.”

  “Stay strong,” Eli whispered, sipping from a teacup he accidentally ordered that had glittering hearts floating in it. “We can still pull him back. Maybe she has a brother. We can redirect.”

  Lucien was scribbling in his journal.

  Observation: Celestia has smiled seven times. Gram has combusted zero times. This is now a confirmed anomaly. Begin theological re-evaluation of the universe.

  Phase III: DiscoveryIt happened at the bookstore.

  They followed the couple inside, hiding behind shelves, mimicking bored shoppers.

  Lucien grabbed a random book titled “101 Ways to Die in the Elven Wilds” and pretended to be fascinated.

  Reille ducked behind the alchemy section.

  Eli climbed a bookshelf and pretended to be a gargoyle.

  Celestia, halfway through recommending a rare grimoire to Gram, turned around and said casually:

  “You know, I always find it endearing when overprotective friends tail their own through half the city like paranoid secret agents.”

  Everyone froze.

  Gram blinked. “...What?”

  “Oh, nothing,” she said sweetly, eyes lingering just a little too long on Lucien’s hiding spot. “It’s lovely having supportive friends, isn’t it?”

  Gram smiled, oblivious. “Yeah. They’ve always got my back.”

  Celestia smiled at the shelf. “Always.”

  Lucien, sweating behind a book titled “How to Fake Confidence for Idiots”, whispered, “Abort mission. We’ve been made.”

  Final Phase: ExtractionAs the date ended with Gram walking Celestia back toward the academy courtyard under the gold-dipped sunset, Squad 7 retreated to the dorm in dead silence.

  “...We got caught,” Eli admitted.

  “She didn’t say anything though,” Reille muttered.

  Lucien flopped dramatically onto the couch. “That’s because she’s too powerful. I swear she’s six levels above us in social combat.”

  Reille pulled a bnket over her head. “We’ve trained him. We’ve armed him. But now… he’s in enemy territory alone.”

  Lucien snorted. “He’s dating her. He’s not infiltrating a demon cult.”

  “Same thing,” Eli said, flopping beside him.

  “True,” Lucien muttered.

  Just then the door opened.

  Gram stepped inside.

  Eyes wide.

  Hands shaking slightly.

  But smiling.

  “She… she said we should do this again sometime.”

  The room went silent.

  Then—

  Lucien stood.

  Pced a hand on his shoulder.

  “You poor bastard. It’s begun.”

  Eli saluted him.

  Reille handed him a potion beled “Emergency Courage – For Second Dates.”

  And so ended the tale of Operation Date Patrol.

  Did Squad 7 fail?

  Yes.

  Did they get caught?

  Absolutely.

  But was it worth it?

  Judging by Gram’s dumb smile and the faint blush still on his face… yeah. Yeah, it was.

  They were still chaos.

  Still monsters.

  Still idiots with too much power and zero filters.

  But maybe… just maybe…

  They were idiots who could ship.