Erin

  —

  "Erin, why did you receive a priority delivery? Why is it unmarked, Erin? And why is it unlocked by your retina, Erin?!" Patricia was not happy!

  Me?

  I couldn't stop the huge shit-eating grin that spread across my face.

  It was just us and our Indeedee for now. Well, my maid, her valet. I would love an Indeedee, but that wasn't going to happen. They hated to fight, well, the butlers were more likely to fight, but most would rather serve.

  "I don't know Patricia, why don't you lift the case up in front of my eye so I can look into that little sensor there and find out?" She was glaring at me. I was way too happy for the contents to be nice and normal, and she knew it.

  "Erin, what am I going to find in this case?" My grin grew wider. Far more shit-eating. I might have been chuckling a bit, too.

  "I honestly don't know exactly, but I had a few requests!" Her scowl was withering now.

  "Daughter of mine, Erin, I love you dearly. I am also not in the mood for your little schemes right now. What. Did. You. Do?" My grin couldn't grow larger, but I tried.

  "Well, how about you hold that up over here and we'll find out together?" She kept scowling, but she brought it closer.

  Yes!

  I looked at the Indeedee, but they were already leaving. They could feel it, yes, but I also had a bit of a pattern now. I was a bundle of secrets, and while I didn't mind them hearing anything, truly, I wasn't trying to advertise it. I mean, they were Indeedee, silence on my secrets is serving.

  "You are far too excited for what I suspect is in here, Erin. That is dangerous. Will you feel that?" I gave her a serious look, causing her hand to pause as she held the case out. She pulled it back in, so she didn't drop it on me and cause, you know, lotsa pain. Not as much, I could even move a little now, but I wasn't healed. Not yet.

  "Patricia, sorry, but you'll never hear the price I paid if I have the choice." I knew what she was getting at. She frowned at me, but I shook my head.

  "No, Patricia. That is mine. It made you witness, but you weren't a signatory. That is my knowledge… but I can tell you this. Most of training a soldier is suppressing the fear response, or just getting them to go for the kill. I forgot the statistics, but basically untrained humans don't like shooting other humans, even in an active war. There are outliers, yes, and they will shoot when pushed, but in general you have to train a killer. They will shoot above the heads of others who are probably doing the same if given much choice. It's the eyes. You can see the same light shining back from hundreds of yards away, and it makes you pause, because that is you." I sighed.

  "I don't need any of that, Patricia. I just need the training, which I'll be doing by myself with Rotom when I get the chance, and weapons." She opened her mouth and I glared at her.

  "I am not getting any guns. I've shot a gun twice, and that was in my old world, when I was a child. It was awesome, don't get me wrong, but… it just feels wrong. Not my… style. Plus, you know, I'm not going to be responsible for shooting someone innocent because of a ricochet, or just friendly fire…" Her frown was thunderous, but she was silent as she scowled at me.

  "I mean… Interpol has training guides… and Rotom has access and authorization to view them…" I wasn't nervous, not really. She couldn't stop me. Okay, maybe I was nervous. I didn't… I didn't want to disappoint her.

  "I'm not saying that every time I get into a real fight I'm going to go in blades out… I mean, they will be, but I'm not going to rush across an active battlefield… But if I run across an operation, and I have the training, weapons, and… drive, why not pick some off before the police arrive, soften them up? Legally, I don't have to announce my presence to Team Rocket and other Global Terrorist organizations, or offer them the chance to surrender… I was never actually a big fan of the Hitman games, but…" She gasped in horror.

  "Erin, are you telling me that my newest daughter is training herself to be an assassin?!" I winced at the panic in her voice. I glared at her, though. HARD. She sat back in the chair, looking at me with a hurt expression. I hated to see that, but…

  "I'm sorry mom, but you need to listen to me. If I run into a situation like that, I'm going to act anyway, you know that. Leaf knows that. She's not going to get involved, and she'll be leaving, in constant contact with the police or Rangers while I… work. You need to understand that I won't stand by." She was frowning so hard, scowling at me.

  "Patricia, I'm not going to not do anything. If I'd gotten super strength instead of spooky fucking eyes, I'd be training as well, just for something different. I am small, tiny in fact, and far weaker than I want to be. Especially now, after all this rest, but my point stands. I am not a front line fighter, I don't have the build for it. I have the build for stealth, and the mentality to be a stunningly effective assassin, especially for this world." Her frown never stopped.

  "If you saw someone kick their Rattata, would you do something? Would it be instinctive, more or less? There would be a choice, yes, but would there really? I'm familiar with choices like that." She winced.

  "I will not stand by and watch abuse happen for even a minute longer, Patricia. Even less when it's Team Rocket, especially after the interviews I did! I'm not sure why you're surprised? I know you told Leto to go ahead and eat them again after you read them! You know, after you tried to go behind my back and she 'agreed' not to." Her eyes widened. Then she scowled again.

  "Because Leto could take a Hyper Beam to the face, Erin! You are a young girl! You are fourteen! You shouldn't be fighting at all!" I didn't crank it up, but my glare made her quiet.

  "Patricia, do you want me to break your heart with uncomfortable truths I grew up with and have forever internalized?" She glared at me, then thought for a moment. She knew I wasn't lying.

  "Go ahead, Erin. You're going to do that anyway, if you get yourself killed." Oh, that was not fair!

  "Not fair. At all. Patricia, I am legally fourteen. What age is military enrollment possible in Indigo?" She frowned at me. Blinked a little. Confused at why I would even wonder.

  "Twenty five, Erin. Why?" She thought that was normal! It was, here.

  Here.

  "You could join the military in my country at eighteen. Earlier, technically, down to thirteen or fourteen, freshmen, because they recruited from high school, even had their own little ranks and uniforms and drills and shit for their entire time in high school. Because it's so easy to twist a teenager into a killer. Their brains haven't even fully developed yet, not for almost a decade, and I guarantee that's why it's twenty five here. It's the easiest thing in the world, Patricia, and it works on adults, too. Teenagers are just so much more malleable." Her eyes were horrified as I continued.

  "Just break them. Break them down to nothing, then build up what you want on the remains. They call it building character, sometimes. It is effective, supremely. It also turns you into a weapon that identifies your fellow soldiers, and if you're lucky your countrymen, as the us, and everyone else as them. Othering. You remove the inquisitive, curious parts of a human, break them down every time they have a desire other than what you desire, and you have the perfect soldier."

  "Unfortunately, eighteen, or even lower, was pretty damn normal for a soldier, historically, before guns at least. Once they were fully grown physically, they were soldier material. Not to mention the families that followed them, and actual children that picked over the battlefields for loot after it was over. Well, the average soldier was, when they all marched to war, not the experienced ones. The vast majority would be untrained young adults and adult males who were compelled to fight, as in drafted from their communities by their lords, along with the elderly who could still function, or those who chose to because they were the third or fourth son and would inherit nothing, stuff like that. It was too expensive to have large standing, trained, competent armies. You either got better and lucky, and thus older, or you just died, trampled into the mud along with your friends and family and neighbors as those pesky 'others' invaded over a fart joke your King made ten years ago." Now she was truly horrified.

  Sorry…

  "All of those harsh truths were something I just… grew up with. That was life in my world. I was never in a war, never killed humans there, but I always knew what I was willing to do in my own defense, what the world might throw at me despite my age. I knew all of this when I was ten. Especially being trans, because we were almost always fascists first, easiest targets, us and anyone else that was a minority. My world never stopped letting me know that it would be my head on the chopping block to advance some morally-void psychopaths agenda. That we, and other minorities, were used as an easy target to direct the anger of the exploited masses towards, and away from the ultra-rich and those owned by them. It only got worse before I died, in fact…"

  Now she looked so sad, but I was unfortunately serious. I didn't lie. People cheered it on, even as their own social safety nets were shredded for a tiny bit of profit in the pockets of a few, even as their businesses dried up, their food prices shot through the roof, their medications got too expensive, and they died! They didn't care. They had hurt the 'other side', had 'won', so oh well!

  "For Team Rocket? I am more than aware of what I am capable of doing, what I am willing to do, what I will do, and what lengths I will go to in my drive to remove them from existence. I will not enjoy their pain, their terror. I will do my best to make it quick, actually, and as painless as possible if I can. I will enjoy the result, though. I will enjoy the fact that they are removed. I will have great fun doing it, too, because it is right to remove evil." She frowned at that.

  I closed my eyes, leaning back a bit.

  "If you could kill a monster, would you? Who would you send? The idealistic young girl with the power of friendship? That's Leaf, and she's not getting anywhere close to anything like this shit. I have the power of friendship, too, sure. Tons of it. I prefer the power of a cut throat. The power of a severed head, of a severed limb. Severing is very convenient. Rotom can be sneaky, don't worry. I'll always have proof that I haven't become a monster in recorded fact. Only we'll know the truth."

  I was not prepared for the slap that left my head ringing. Also, my everything in pain. I grit my teeth, looking at her through suddenly tear-filled eyes.

  She was crying, and I felt so guilty. Also in pain, Arceus above!

  "Erin, you will promise me right now that you will never call yourself a monster again. There is no other choice in this, I am not a fae."

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  My throat screwed up, and I desperately tried to make my suddenly dry mouth work. I couldn't do that. I absolutely wouldn't do it.

  "Erin, there is no discussion happening here. You are going to do what I fucking tell you." I stared at her in shock. I had never heard her curse!

  That was her whole thing!

  "I… I won't do that, Patricia. I won't lie." She scowled at me.

  "You're not a fae, Erin." I shook my head at her.

  "No, I'm not, and I can lie, yes. Why is it that I don't, Patricia? Technically, you're more deceitful than me. I know most people have plenty of little lies they tell, but if even you do it, I mean, obviously just lying isn't evil or anything, right?" She was frowning at me, but I was waiting.

  Stubbornly.

  "Why don't you lie, Erin?"

  "Because that's a denial of self, to make yourself speak an untruth. It stains your soul, weakens it… I lied like I breathed before, Patricia." I cleared my throat. Totally not trying to hold it together, nope.

  "I received the unique opportunity to start a new life with a new lie count of zero. Yes, my soul is still stained from my first life, but in this one? I want to be better. I want the first lie I knowingly utter in this world to matter. Unfortunately… I won't lie to myself, either." She frowned at me.

  "Why did your… price… make you a monster, Erin? Because you feel no remorse for your actions? Because you'll… have fun?" I shook my head.

  "Hard to describe, Patricia, because you're… you're asking about something I will not speak of. I'm not bound not to. I choose…" She looked so helpless, and I felt so bad, but I refused. I lied enough in my own head already, thank you very much. 'The pain wasn't that bad. The memories will fade eventually.' Pleasant little lies. I won't utter a lie.

  "I'll tell Leto." I just looked at her blankly. Her glare faded a moment later.

  "Oh… yeah…" Exactly, Patricia. Leto is fully on board with me being deadlier, no surprise there. Also, you know, better able to defend myself.

  "I truly appreciate your concern, mom." She looked at me sadly and I gave her a wide smile.

  "I really, truly do, more than you can possibly imagine. I wish I could lie for you, but I won't. I could and would, but not for something like this. I have my line in the sand, too."

  She looked so sad as she looked at me. She sighed so heavily I thought she might pass out, then she looked up at me. Her eyes were clear, but they were still so worried. I hated that I did that to her…

  "Fine, Erin. You win. Let's see what they sent you." I smiled so widely it hurt.

  She lifted the case to my eye for a moment and I heard a ding.

  The case she was holding opened.

  —

  Leaf

  —

  "I wonder what all the yelling is about?" My question caused a huge laugh to erupt from Rotom, and I looked at it with squinted eyes. We were all on the back patio, just back from training, and wow, Rotom looked so happy!

  "Just a little package Erin got. Nothing special." It knew something.

  "Rotom…" It laughed.

  "If I spoil that, Leaf, she might actually kill me and make Looker find another Rotom crazy enough to accept this lifetime assignment." Its words didn't match the mischievous grin. It loved the insanity Erin was going to get herself into, and it would be right there the entire time.

  Her entire life.

  I'll be honest, Rotom creeped me out a tiny bit with their assignment, but I didn't judge them for it. Neither did Erin. She just fought with them. As much as possible, it seemed.

  "I mean, it can't be something normal. Erin doesn't do normal." Wukong growled out an angry grunt, so a laugh, and I enjoyed the way her entire team nodded, even Leto. She had her head tilted to the side and was grinning, though…

  "Oh shi- no way!" Rotom looked at me in surprise. Then it got nervous.

  "Leaf, I can guarantee you won't guess correctly even if you're close. I would recommend you don't ruin Erin's surprise." I smiled at the nerves in its young, mischievous voice. Widely. Viciously.

  "Her surprise, Rotom? I have no idea what you could be talking about. I also have no idea why Leto of all Pokemon sounds happy to hear the argument going on in there! None whatsoever! It's not like Leto practically defines herself by a singular word. No, totally not, right?" It was shaking as it glared at me. Not in fear, but in anticipation.

  "Leaf, I'm recording right now. Erin will know of this." I glared right back at the snitch.

  "Rotom, you seem to think I'm scared of Erin. I was, yeah, sure, but now? I mean, I highly doubt she's going to use whatever WEAPONS she got on me." It was sparking, but I only had a second to enjoy that.

  A wave of aura slammed into me from above, and for a brief moment I was in Leto's mouth. A random Pokemon in her mouth!

  I glanced up in terrified panic, only to see Erin's furious, pain-filled face in my window, somehow! Her mouth opened before moms hand pulled her back out of view. What the fuck had that been?!

  What?!

  Rotom just sighed at me.

  "Leaf… You're right, she won't use them on you, of course. She could never do that to her sister. I think you just got promoted to a practice partner now, though. She doesn't have to use real weapons in practice. If she's waving around a piece of wood shaped like a real weapon, it's still going to hurt." I paled as Rotom spoke.

  Shit, she would!

  "But I'm not going to fight! What good is it going to do her to beat me up? If she even can, you know she's not that strong, even for her size, which is tiny!" It infuriated my new sister, too. It was hilarious! I was much stronger than her, even before she got injured, even with the Gravity training, not to mention taller! Probably forever!

  Their eyes got so large momentarily before they visibly stopped themself.

  "Very true, Leaf… I wonder what's going to happen to Erin's precocious little sister…" What was that supposed to mean? I didn't have to fight to be a practice partner? That would make me a… target…

  No.

  Absolutely not!

  Right?

  That's a pretty fierce argument up there, even if I can't understand the words…

  I shouldn't ask them, they probably won't tell me anyways…

  No, I need to know.

  Fuck it.

  "Rotom, is my new sister training herself to be an assassin?!"

  It froze momentarily, giggled, then zoomed into the house.

  Leto refused to meet my gaze.

  —

  Patricia Greenwood

  —

  "I'm not sure why you're so mad at me, Patricia? Erin knows exactly what she's doing with this, has for a while. Oh? Looks like Erin didn't share a whole lot, huh?" Looker looked smug right now, which I didn't like, but since it was directed at my sneaky daughter…

  "Looker, you know I don't lie. I will make you pay if you say anot-" His grin was too wide as he cut her off.

  "Erin here always dreamed of being a big hero, so it's no surprise to me when I hear plans startlingly similar to the ones being enacted just… playing in her head as she bounced around in terror. Let me reiterate that, Patricia. Your new daughter was thinking up ways to play the hero here in real life while she bounced around in agony for hours. Not that she had much of a choice in entertainment, but the entire time she was thinking about making a difference, even as she was telling herself the opposite." He looked pleased with himself, but only momentarily.

  Erin was crying in frustration, now.

  What?

  "I k-keep my promises, Looker…" He looked shocked and a little disturbed. I can't say I wasn't, either. This was different from being too weak to be scathing. She was hurt.

  "Erin, look, I'm sorr-"

  "A secret you've kept from me, Looker. I know you wont give me something good, but I want it now. Be grateful I know you didn't mean that, even if you ignored my words…" He frowned at her and went silent.

  Erin was… what was even the issue?! I mean, that was embarrassing, yes, but not terribly! He had basically just said you had a good heart and wanted to do the right thing!

  Oh…

  "Oh, and I don't mean the money you've hidden from me, Looker." He cursed. "In fact, now that I'm finally thinking about it, put a million into my personal account and give the rest to mom. Forever. Now! I know you can hear me, Looker's Rotom, whose name I don't know, if you even have one!" Looker looked disbelieving now.

  "Erin, how the fuck-"

  "You never sent me any money after that initial hundred thousand at the Preserve, idiot. Well, you probably forgot, too busy doing actual good work, I know you didn't even sleep for days… Still, I didn't say anything because your thought process wasn't wrong. I'd blow through it too fast doing stupid shit, I know me, and I had the hush money from the Preserve until Rotom. Give me some, then give the rest to my new mom and let her put it to good use. I know there's more than a few million in there. Too much shit is accurate, even if not all." Looker frowned, peering at his Rotom closely.

  "Well, I wasn't expecting that… Damn, I really didn't send you money, did I? It's done, Erin. I'll even clear the debt you took on for your little order." I glared at the man now.

  "We need to talk about that, Looker! She is fourteen!" He was giving me a pitying look.

  "She's already ended lives, Patricia. You know she won't stand by if she sees something else, so why not let her train? Be better able to defend not only herself, but Leaf? Even the type of training-" He frowned at her, so he wasn't completely supportive, just too much!

  "-Erin will be doing still has applications when it comes to self defense. We have general fitness and self defense courses, too, and Rotom can and should share those with Leaf." I was frowning, but I knew what he was getting at. Being prepared wasn't a bad thing.

  Being prepared to act.

  I wasn't stupid. Erin thought I was, or that she could be sneaky, but she wasn't. I might be wrong in specifics, like I had been before, but… She had somehow been bound to act. She couldn't be a bystander, not ever again. I wasn't sure a bystander of what, but I doubted it was just Team Rocket. Abuse? Pain?

  It really didn't matter, unfortunately. I had the horrible, horrible feeling my newest child was going to end up dead one day doing the right thing. It's always right to save someone, correct? It's relatively well understood that you do not swim near someone drowning, as they will instinctively push you down to go up and then two people are drowning.

  In that situation, would my daughter be able to take the time to find something that floats?

  Would my newest daughter run into a fire? Would she dive into a flooded river to save a doomed child?

  I had the horrible feeling I knew why she had cried when Looker said that. We admired heroes, looked up to them, wanted to be them in our more childish, hopeful moments. Because heroes chose. They chose to do good. What happens when it's not a choice at all? It's just a burden, no matter the results. She would never feel true pride in anything she did in pursuit of her goals, just the results. She was certainly proud of getting the rescues to their current positions, but...

  She would never be able to feel truly good about her actions, because they wouldn't have been a choice. I knew she hated that, as well. The lack of choice. From the first time we had really talked, that had been her biggest complaint. She never got to choose.

  Now, for good deeds? I had the horrible feeling she never would, either. No matter what her price actually was, because I had been wrong about it. As she had said earlier… she would enjoy it the next time. She could feel during a situation like that…

  "Pokemon, tool, or revenge? Which one, Erin?" I barely had time to glare at him before my daughter was answering.

  "Pokemon aren't a secret, a tool isn't a secret, and revenge isn't a secret. I want something that you don't want me to know, Looker. I know I wont get the juicy shit, but you owe me." I frowned at her, and Rotom's display briefly showed a small '1' in the corner.

  Good job, Rotom. Good job.

  "Erin… Let me think, fuck you by the way." She glared at him. Her eyes were still red and slightly swollen.

  "I don't lie and I warned you, dumbass. Go fuck yourself." He glared at her through the screen for a few more seconds before he sighed.

  "Fine. It's on your head, then. Two options, Erin. A secret kept from you, or a secret kept from someone else that impacts you." She scowled at him.

  "Yes." He glared through the screen.

  "Okay then, a teachable moment for the child. You lost the choice." She began to squawk indignantly, but he just barreled on.

  "You were targeted in Galar. Remember when you assaulted Raihan for opening your locked door? You did lock it, and it was unlocked for him. It is a very good thing you were so paranoid, Erin, and only left that once, because there was always a duo of darks and psychics in your room, watching you from the far corner after that. They wouldn't have been able to read you, not while literally hidden in the shadows, but they weren't after your mind, anyway. They got out fast when I arrived, but Alakazam could still faintly sense the disturbances they left. We have no idea who it was, but you were monitored when you landed in Kanto, or you were for awhile. Nothing and nobody followed you from Galar, not that it would be easy to get on our plane. My guess? Rose or someone wanted Leto. Nobody will try anything now, though."

  "I wasn't lying when I said your team deserved Luxury Balls, but they are also one of the few types of Pokeballs that can't be completely cut off through stasis except when the ball itself detects a major, life threatening injury, and the only type that can never be locked. It's a good thing Joyce healed Leto in your room, too. They were hoping to lock Leto in her Great Ball when you finally recalled her to leave, which wouldn't have worked, but then they probably intended to use another stasis item and place the ball in there. It's certainly not common, but they exist all over the world. Those require the ball itself to be locked, though. Luxury Balls? They can phase right though any restrictive measures they employ."

  He stared at her horrified, pale face with deliberately blank eyes.

  "Happy, Erin?"

  She very much did not look happy, no.

  Not at all.